Delusive Fate

#069

Ki Baek-woo’s eyes, which had been wide open as if not wanting to miss a moment of my appearance, closed as if by magic. Ki Baek-woo soon began to breathe softly, as if all his sleepless nights had been an illusion.

“Sleep well, Ki Baek-woo.”

Sleep well and then leave for the gate. Go meet Jung Yi-dam.

As I was thinking this deviously to myself, I too fell asleep before I knew it.

***

I focused all my concentration on my hands. Right now, I’m a great artist. What I’m holding is a brush, what I’m painting on is a canvas, and what I’m drawing is someone’s hard life. Wrist soft, fingers firm. I’ve staked my life on this gesture. As I carefully draw a red line, I sublimate life into art….

“Title: The End of the World.”

I nodded as I looked at the strawberry jam spread flawlessly on the bread. The toasted bread is the world, and the strawberry jam spread on it with chilling uniformity is human blood.

“Perfect.”

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but strawberry jam is a really important element when it comes to toast. That’s because the perfection of the toast is determined by how meticulously the sweet and sticky strawberry jam is spread on the bread. I can’t help it even if people point fingers at me for being obsessed with something like ‘spreading jam perfectly on toast’. What’s important is important. And the next important thing after jam is…

“The bacon I’ve perfectly grilled.”

I cut the bacon I had just grilled in melted butter to fit the size of the bread and placed it in a lattice pattern on top of the strawberry jam. On top of that, cheese, then the shredded cabbage I found in the fridge that Ki Baek-woo had prepared, and the final kick to complete this work of art.

“A half-boiled fried egg… ah, this is insane.”

What a perfect toast. I covered my mouth as I looked at the toast topped with a sunny-side-up egg, crispy around the edges but with a firm, round yolk. This is the most perfect toast I’ve ever made. If there was a World’s Best Toast Competition, this would undoubtedly win the grand prize. After adding the flourish of sprinkling parsley on the yolk, I cursed under my breath.

To think I have to give this masterpiece to Ki Baek-woo…. To such an ignorant commoner who won’t understand even an ant’s eyelash worth of this toast’s greatness, who’ll just think of this work of art as a mere scrap of bread to fill his stomach….

But it can’t be helped. I’m going to coax him out of the house no matter what. For that, I needed to captivate Ki Baek-woo’s mind with the perfect toast. If the stick doesn’t work, you have to use the carrot.

Nodding to myself, I placed the plate with the toast on the seat where Ki Baek-woo always sits. I put a knife and fork next to it, and filled a cup with the apple juice Ki Baek-woo had bought last time. Thinking it looked pretty good, I was setting out a plate and fork for my seat when my phone vibrated with a zing. It was a text message.

I checked the message that had arrived from an unsaved contact when suddenly there was a loud thump, as if the floor was about to collapse. Startled, I turned around to see the bedroom door fling open.

“…Hyung.”

Of course, it was Ki Baek-woo who appeared. I had been preparing breakfast without waking him as he was sleeping well for once, but it seemed he had just woken up. But….

“What’s wrong? Did something happen? Ki Baek-woo, why are you like this?”

Why do you look like a frightened rabbit after having a good sleep for the first time in a while? I looked curiously at Ki Baek-woo, who was pale as if he’d seen a ghost rather than looking refreshed from a good sleep. Ki Baek-woo didn’t answer my question, but just approached me with urgent steps. Though it was only a few steps given how small our place is.

Anyway, before I could say anything more, Ki Baek-woo pulled me into his arms. I felt the high body temperature characteristic of someone who’s just woken up. I could hear Ki Baek-woo’s heartbeat, irregular and urgent.

“Hyung.”

“Are you shaking right now? Why are you like this after sleeping well? Did you have a scary dream in that short time?”

Ki Baek-woo was trembling slightly. I reflexively wrapped my hands around Ki Baek-woo’s back and rubbed it slowly. Calm down, calm down. It’s the patting I often did when Ki Baek-woo would tremble with inexplicable anxiety when he was young. Whether it was reassuring or what, anyway, Ki Baek-woo, who had been stiffly tense, bent his shoulders and buried his forehead in my neck. And a little later, he said:

“I woke up and…”

“Yes, you woke up and?”

“I definitely slept with you, but you weren’t beside me…”

“Yes, and?”

“I was a bit surprised when I couldn’t see you… Sorry.”

I was surprised because of you. I’m sorry, hyung. You clearly said you wouldn’t abandon me, but I thought maybe that was a dream…. Ki Baek-woo whispered in a weak voice. As I stroked his back rhythmically, I thought: I need to make him meet Jung Yi-dam quickly before this gets more serious. This madness is at a critical late stage.

And although it’s really annoying to think this about Ki Baek-woo… it’s also a bit pitiful how he’s acting like he’s about to die from unnecessary stress…. No, no, I’m the pitiful one. Get a grip, Lee Han-sol. It’s not pitiful, it’s pathetic to the point of being pitiful. Okay, correction.

It’s really wasteful for Ki Baek-woo to suffer like this, stressing over unnecessary things because of me, whom he doesn’t even like. So let’s end this strange situation quickly.

Inwardly clicking my tongue, I gently patted Ki Baek-woo’s head as he buried his face in my shoulder. I spoke in a kind tone, as if coaxing a child.

“I’m not going anywhere, Ki Baek-woo. So quickly wash up and come eat. I prepared it for you to eat.”

You have to eat today because I prepared it, okay? You need to eat at least a little, understand?

I sit on the sofa, tapping on my phone screen to compose a message. The recipient is [010-1234-5678]. It’s an unsaved number.

12:15

[Hunter Ki Baek-woo is going to the gate today. Try calling him now. He should answer.]

Not long after I sent the message, a familiar ringtone sounded from the small room. I could also faintly hear Ki Baek-woo’s voice saying, “Yes, this is Ki Baek-woo.”

Feeling triumphant, I reread the messages I had started exchanging with [010-1234-5678] since dawn. It started with text messages I sent secretly in the darkness, with Ki Baek-woo sleeping beside me using my arm as a pillow, though I had told him to do so.

The other party was an employee from the Central Center’s Hunter Management Team who had exchanged contacts with me a few times in the past regarding Ki Baek-woo issues. It was the most familiar number among those Ki Baek-woo had blocked.

00:32

[This is Hunter Lee Han-sol. Are you Manager Chang Something from the Central Center Hunter Management Team?]

010-1234-5678

[This is Manager Chang Eun-joon. Hunter, please answer your phone, I beg you]

00:34

00:36

[There’s a crazy guy sleeping next to me so I can’t talk. Use text. There was a problem with my phone that I wasn’t aware of, so I couldn’t receive any calls.]

010-1234-5678

[What kind of problem… Our team almost died. Hunter Ki Baek-woo’s phone is turned off, and Hunter Lee Han-sol’s line is always busy ㅜ I thought I was going crazyㅠ]

[If it’s not… that kind of thing from the rumors, please send Hunter Ki Baek-woo to the gate, Hunter Lee ㅠㅠㅠ]

[Hunter Ki is S-class, you know. There’s a limit to how much other hunters can cover, so the field is in chaos ㅜ I’ve developed circular hair loss. The mental anguish is enormous. Please save us]

00:36

[Hunter Lee? I’m sorry to rush you, but the entire Hunter Management Team is in panic, so please understand our situation. I beg you]

00:38

00:41

[Is there a gate Ki Baek-woo can go to?]

010-1234-5678

[There’s an S-class gate raid starting at 2 PM today, not tomorrow, near Bukhansan ㅜㅠㅜ Please send Hunter Ki Baek-woo. At this rate, the country will be ruined. I’m going bald…]

00:41

00:43

[I’m not interested in your hair follicle situation. Anyway, I’ll try to persuade him tomorrow and let you know]

010-1234-5678

[Hunter Han-sol, it’s morning, how did it go? I couldn’t sleep because I was so worried. Is Hunter Ki coming to Bukhansan today?]

10:04

12:15

[Hunter Ki Baek-woo is going to the gate today. Try calling him now. He should answer.]

Hah. I savored the feeling of victory as I read the last message again. It was worth giving up the perfect toast. After coaxing and cajoling him throughout breakfast, Ki Baek-woo fell for my lies and finally nodded.

‘You’ll be at home when I come back from the raid, right…?’

You’re not going anywhere, right? You promise? To him asking this several times, I nodded vigorously. Perhaps recognizing that the toast I made was perfect, Ki Baek-woo took a few bites for once, and I kept my silver tongue moving endlessly.

‘I’m not going anywhere, absolutely not. I’ll just stay at home. Even if I have to go somewhere later, I’ll definitely decide after seeing you again.’

And finally, I won. Ki Baek-woo silently looked at me, I don’t know what he was thinking, and then nodded slightly.

‘Good, you made the right decision! I’ll stick right here and just wait for you. Promise!’

When I exclaimed brightly without even realizing it, Ki Baek-woo blinked very slowly with a blank expression. After staring at me for a while, he suddenly started eating the toast he had been nibbling on earnestly. He couldn’t finish the whole plate, but he ate about half of it, so for some reason, it seemed his appetite had suddenly returned.

I was thinking, ‘Anyway, I’ve let him sleep and fed him bread, so I’ve done my part.’ Just then, Ki Baek-woo’s voice from the small room cut off, and as if on cue, a reply arrived to the last message.

010-1234-5678

[Hunter Han-sol, thank you so much. I talked with Hunter Ki and he says he’s coming ㅠㅠㅠ Hunter Han-sol, you’re a god. From now on, I’ll revere you as my benefactor. I’ll treat you to a meal. I can even afford Hanwoo beef, so please contact me whenever you want. I give you my love, Hunter]

12:32

Is he crazy? Why is he repaying a favor with such dirty words? While I was frowning at the excessive gratitude from Manager Chang Whatever, who I wouldn’t have had to deal with if it weren’t for Ki Baek-woo’s issues, Ki Baek-woo emerged quietly from the small room. I, who had been lying on the sofa waiting for him, jumped up.

“Are you all ready?”

I asked as I approached him standing quietly. Ki Baek-woo was wearing dark black jeans with a mock-neck sweater of the same color. I guess it’s true that the face completes the fashion. Even though he’s wearing ordinary clothes that anyone might have, he looks like a magazine cover.

His weight-lost body, pale skin from fatigue, eyes still red and swollen. And the pitch-black clothes. Ki Baek-woo, who now had a sensitive look as if touching him would be disastrous, looked exactly like a grim reaper overworked in hell. His unstyled bangs covered his eyelids, but even with his forehead covered, he didn’t look gentle at all, rather more hysterical. It was impressive how he maintained such a sharp atmosphere even in such a terrible state.

Damn, it’s annoying.

I thought as I put on a fake smile and fiddled with Ki Baek-woo’s shoulder. I’m often mockingly called ‘pretty’, which actually means ‘an unpleasant, gloomy, and offensive ugly man like a parasitic brother who lives off others’, but how can he be dazzling even in such trash-like condition? What a dog-eat-dog world. What a shitty dating sim.

I was endlessly complaining inwardly when Ki Baek-woo suddenly said:

“I trust you, hyung.”

“All of a sudden?”

“I’m listening well to what you tell me to do now. I’m being good and going to the gate, right?”

“It’s originally what you should do… but… yeah. You’re being good, Ki Baek-woo.”

“I have to wait… It’s tiresome, saying the same thing over and over… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. Anyway, go and come back, I’ll be at home.”

And that home will be in B District. Hahaha.

As I was snickering inwardly, Ki Baek-woo suddenly held out his pinky finger. Looking at him, I saw him forcing a smile. “It’s a promise, hyung,” he said in a hesitant voice.

I looked at Ki Baek-woo’s hand for a moment, then obediently intertwined my pinky with his. He then extended his thumb as if he had been waiting for this. I also obediently held out my thumb and pressed it against his. Even though it was all over, Ki Baek-woo’s hand showed no sign of letting go. Before he could ask to laminate and copy the signature, I shook off his hand as if shooing away a fly.

“Since we’ve made a promise, hurry up and go. It’s an S-class gate, so don’t get hurt. Though I’m sure you know how to handle it.”

“Yeah. I’ll work hard and come back.”

“Oh, right. Be careful not to get a nosebleed in the dungeon. You’ve been doing that a lot lately. It looks a bit silly, so be mindful of that. Got it?”

I swallowed the words ‘Be especially careful in front of Jung Yi-dam. We can’t have him losing interest in you.’

“…Yeah, I’ll be going then.”

Ki Baek-woo smiled awkwardly and hesitated for a moment. His lukewarm hand that had been hesitating briefly touched my right cheek. Although it had been a very long time, it wasn’t an unfamiliar touch, so I wasn’t surprised. He used to like touching the moles on my eyelids and cheeks. Of course, that was before Jung Yi-dam appeared.

This is the last time. If I endure this, I’ll be free. Exercising patience, I let Ki Baek-woo touch me, and soon his hand fell limply. He whispered “I’ll be back” once more as if talking to himself and turned around. The front door opened, Ki Baek-woo disappeared through the gap, and the heavy metal door closed again.

I calmly waited for the sound of the door lock engaging. I counted to a hundred in my mind. One, two, three, four… ninety-eight, ninety-nine, hundred…!

“Wow! It’s really over now!”

I raised both hands in jubilation. Come, Lee Han-sol’s freedom! It was worth sleeping with my arms around Ki Baek-woo even though they got cramped, hahaha! It’s all over now! Once Ki Baek-woo and Jung Yi-dam meet, the system and the story will come to their senses and return to normal! From now on, only things that will go my way are left! Hahahahahahaha!

I was happy. I could be because I had momentarily overlooked it. I had stupidly forgotten the important and eternal fact that nothing I try to do has ever gone as planned.

A day passed after Ki Baek-woo left for the gate. It was the first time I had felt proper peace without Ki Baek-woo since this regression. So, I was truly at peace for just one day.

Unavoidable questions filled my mind.

Am I not allowed even that much peace? Am I a cursed being that must suffer endlessly? Why me? What did I do wrong? If loving Ki Baek-woo as a supporting character was a sin, I don’t like him at all now. I’ve fully grasped my role. So can’t they just leave me alone?

That’s what I thought as I looked at the intercom screen where the doorbell was ringing. I couldn’t quite believe it.

“…What is this?”

– It’s not ‘this’, it’s Jung Yi-dam, Han-sol. Please open the door.

Jung Yi-dam was outside the door. The protagonist of this world who should be at the gate with Ki Baek-woo. Jung Yi-dam.