The Wind of My Life

Crossroads. It's funny how this term is only used to say that depending on the choice you make in a situation, in addition to the decision of the moment, it will also have some consequence after taking a path. This makes up a lot of people's lives, but often, they are more common situations like choosing an outfit to go out with someone or choosing a place you want to go during a walk. But when it's not something common, there comes a yearning and fear that it's choosing an unwanted or much more problematic path.

After I had shooed away the girls from the school who were pissing Claire off, I helped her to her feet as she grabbed her book with some people looking at me like I'd done a bigger atrocity than girls bullying someone else. Because of that, I ended up saying goodbye to Claire so as not to make her uncomfortable, but to my surprise, she asked to accompany her so we could talk about something important. This made me slightly uncomfortable because I didn't want to approach her conveniently to help with Ellyn's quest and see if Claire has an affinity for magic even though it would be absurd to trust in a random hint, even more so because of the bad impression I made when we talked for the first time and because of the graffiti situation at her club… But I decided to listen to her and followed her.

At the moment, I'm walking with her along a path close to where Naomi lives, with some more modern residences around and a street slightly busy with students and adults strolling or arriving from their work. Looking at Claire, she looks restless, looking around like she's afraid of being seen by someone she knows or something, and every time I try to say something, she moves and keeps repeating that restless way of hers. Not that I find this strange, as I would do the same if I were in her place in order to avoid a misunderstanding if someone saw me with a girl.

After a few minutes of walking in the greatest silence of the world, we entered a street that overlooked a small park nearby. There were seesaws, rocking chairs, a sand area, very typical of a playground for children, in addition to the presence of some women with some children playing next to them and other people passing by on the street. Seeing the playground, Claire started to head towards it and I continued following her without saying anything until near a wooden bench, where she ended up sitting, looking straight ahead, while I stopped and remained stood.

- Sit down.

- Oh, thanks, but I prefer to stand.

- All right.

OK, Sebastian. Do it again to see how uncomfortable she will feel.

- I had never seen this place around these parts. It's a new location?

- W-well, it opened a w-weeks ago.

- (Looking at the seesaws) I see. The toys look really new.

- Y-yeah...

Once again, silence took over this ankward situation. I don't usually feel this way when I'm with someone I don't know, but when you're interested, it's hard to stay calm and maintain a calm posture. At least standing up, I can move and say it's to stretch or something.

- T-Thanks again for earlier on the street.

- No need to say thanks, Claire. I just did the right thing to do.

- I understand. But you know Kiara w-will try to screw you one way or another, don't you?

- I'm used to taking the blame or being the target of problems that don't make much sense.

- Right...

Okay, perfect timing.

- But then… They just showed up and started pissing you off?

- (Claire looking down) No, but when they saw me, they took a few seconds and followed me.

- I understand. They didn't hit you or anything, right?

- They just took my book I w-was reading and kept saying those things that y-you heard.

- Right. At least they didn't hurt you.

- Y-Yeah...

Those stuck in Claire's voice already explains her introverted side to me. I had already noticed it in the way she walks and the way she gets restless, so I think even the way she talks would be no different.

- I think I s-should apologize to you...

Huh?

- Wait... Why?

- A-About the situation of the club…

- (Looking confused) Ehh… I don't understand.

- Naomi told me what happened. - Naomi always saving me as usual.

- Ah… I thought you… You know, you wouldn't believe me if I said I didn't do that.

- And it wasn't you. I-I saw you leaving s-school before me. When I heard about the graffiti, I-I tried to go talk to the teacher in charge to tell him what I saw but…

Before completing what she was going to say, Claire just lowered her head like she was sad or something.

- Claire…

- They would b-blame it on you anyway because I don't think they w-wouldn't accept that they had been one of the protected s-students.

Strange how the principal had told me about preserving an idea to avoid controversies involving students on account of these issues, but in order to protect his most problematic students who are children of parents who most privately collaborate with the school with their money, he prefers blaming someone else with less "worth". I already accepted this a while ago, but I think it's ridiculous that he passes over these bullying problems caused by these students who think they have more perks than other students.

- I understand.

- So… will you pardon me?

- You don't need to apologize. I thought you believed it was me, so I already feel more at ease that you already know it wasn't me.

- I-I understand.

*silence

- Sebastian…

- Yes?

- How do you get so calm about it?

- (Take a deep breath) I don't really care if people at school call me things I don't like. For me, the important thing is that anyone who knows me or who really deserves satisfaction knows that I'm not the bad way they're going to spread it at school and that those close people believe in me. I'm not going to stay calm because they're going to piss me off, but it's not going to change my image that people have of me. At least, sensible people.

- Are you sure?

- Sometimes we just need to have faith in people.

When I talked about all of this, I was looking up at the sky, and when I finished talking and returned my gaze to Claire, she was looking at me. But unlike what I'd expected, it wasn't a look of respect or understanding. She was staring at me. A neutral expression formed on her face, her restless way giving way to a more judgmental one, as if what I'd said felt like a lie and she knew it. I wasn't lying about everything I said, so why does she seem…

- Do you really think people would believe you?

- Well… I think.

- Then…

"Why are you uncertain about this?"

*silence

How so, uncertain? Of course, I believe that people other than my close friends would accept the fact that I wouldn't do the club's graffiti out of meanness or idiocy. I'm not someone who hides things from others, except in Ellyn's case because it's something out of the ordinary for people. I have faith in people. They know I'm innocent… Right?

- I…

*ringtone

Before I could say anything, a cell phone starts to ring, I notice that Claire freaks out and starts looking for her cell phone which was the one she was ringing at the moment. When she takes her cell phone, I back away a little because it's a call and I wait for her to finish, and after a few seconds, she puts her cell away and gets up from the bench.

- S-Sorry about that. My mom called me to come home early.

- Oh, no problem. If you want, I can…

- Not. No need… I-I live close by. Thank you f-for taking the time to t-talk.

- No problem.

Claire starts to walk towards another playground entrance, but before walking away, she turns and looks at me.

- Sebastian… Be sure of your convictions before you defend them. See you tomorrow.

With that, Claire just walked away. And at that moment, I just stood there, thinking... Am I right about my convictions? What did she mean by that?

…

(Some minutes later)

It didn't take long and I was back on my way home. Along the way, I was wondering why she said that and why it was just there when it looked like I wasn't talking to the restless, insecure Claire I'd noticed. She seemed more confident than usual and that confused me because if she tries, she can stop being this insecure person and become someone stronger... But just as it is necessary to have faith in people, it is necessary to know how to deal with them first to take a different path in life.

I ended up getting home and it was kind of normal. My mom and Cassie ended up asking how it went and I talked about how Ian's grandma was doing and that everything was fine, plus they pissed me off about Naomi. As time went by, it was soon evening and with my father's company, we had dinner peacefully with his jokes, my mother's laughter and Cassie's rebellious and boring way. Right after that, I just cleaned the kitchen and everyone went to their rooms.

11:00 PM

I ended up doing my school activities, changed my clothes, texted Stella and Naomi for a while and lay down on my bed waiting for sleep to come, but I can't sleep when something is on my mind. Thanks to that question about being right about trusting people that Claire did, I was left wondering about this. As honest as I was about it, why would she think I was uncertain? After so long, I've never doubted the people I know because they act the same way I treat them. But will… No. I need to have faith in people because otherwise… Everything I do is going to be irrelevant and I don't want to think about it.

*noise in window

- Huh?

I look out the window and get up to see what that noise was. Looking closely, it doesn't look like anything hit the glass, so just in case I decided to open the window. How do I ima…

- BUUH!

*breathing from fright

- (Ironic laugh) It was just showing your face, Ellyn.

- Sorry~~ I wanted to see if you get scared easily. Apparently it's worked, right?

- Don't do that again, okay?

- Ok~~

- What are you doing here at this hour?

- Don't you think It's better answer that when I'm in there?

- Oh sorry. Come here.

Opening the window wider and helping Ellyn to get up, she ended up walking into my room and I closed the window right away.

- So?

- Well, I wanted to see you.

- I could be sleeping at this hour, you know?

- I highly doubt you're the kind of person who sleeps early. Besides, for those who watched you for 3 days, I think I would understand that very easily, don't you think?

- That sounded weird.

- I know that, but ignore this detail.

- Right… Did you tell Raphaella you're going to be late at her house?

- Well… More or less. I really came because we were looking for a possible location of someone with an affinity for magic in a place, but things went wrong.

- Did something bad happen?

- No. It turned out to be a waste of time, according to Raphaella. I don't think that way because I found that place very quiet and great to have a coffee.

- Seeing the bright side of things. I'ts right.

- And because of that, she ended up going out with a friend of hers tonight, and since I wasn't sleepy, I told Jack I was going to come over here to… you know, check on you.

- I understood.

When she finished speaking, Ellyn started to look around, and looking closer to my computer, she made an uncomfortable expression.

- Hey. You don't have to be thoughtful about what happened, okay? It's over.

- I know. It's just… these are things that are hard to avoid, you know?

- I know but you don't have to charge yourself or anything like that. Accidents happen and we had no way of predicting that. I'm also to blame me for not locking the door that day, so you don't have to think it was all your fault, okay?

- OK…

Come on, Sebastian. Think.

- So, Ellyn… I talked to Claire.

- The club girl and all?

- Yup. It was actually a quick chat. There's still no way to tell if she has an affinity or not.

- No need to be in a hurry about it. Even if it's a chance, it's not worth speeding things up and ruining everything, so take it easy with her, okay?

- Right. And about this place you went…

- Weeell, it was Raphaella's hint, but in the end, it's hard to say that one person among several passed through there and will come back later. But at least I got to get to know Madison a little.

-I understood.

As I said this, I sat on my bed, while Ellyn was facing the window, watching the outside. As much as it was normal to be uneasy about having a girl in my room at night, Ellyn's presence leaves me with a sense of calm and serenity. Her feminine voice made me forget about my worries about what Claire had told me earlier, which makes me curious why but at the same time makes me want to keep this weird atmosphere of peace.

- So… Are you enjoying it here?

- (Ellyn turning to me) Eh, well… your room is nice and all, but…

- I didn't mean my room. I meant on Earth. Are you enjoying what you are seeing of people, of places here on Earth?

- Ooooh, that.

Before saying anything, Ellyn just leaned against the wall next to the window to look at me.

- I haven't seen much yet that makes me say whether Earth is a good place or not. Besides, staying just 2 or 3 weeks is not enough to make a right vision about this place.

- But is it the way you imagined it?

- Quite different, actually. Compared to my world, here it is more advanced in terms of technology, the behaviors are different and the concerns of the humans here seem to be more simple than complex. But…

- But?

- What really caught me was the fact that life was well preserved.

- Preserved how?

- Because my world is older compared to Earth and living with mystical issues, life is very worrying. The fear of thinking that you can't have a tomorrow because of an unusual event or something more predictable like a war or an invasion of evil beings or humans is common. For demigods like me, this concern isn't that strong, but for ordinary people who don't even know how to defend themselves, it's something to think about. But here it is different. People enjoy life more, get involved in situations that at the same time can be complicated, can be funny and even beneficial. The consequences of an act can be resolved with simple dialogues and actions. It is as if the principle of living is more visible here than in my world. And that's what's making me like this world.

I just kept silent. As much as it is a positive view, it is naive. I don't blame Ellyn for that as she hasn't seen much of Earth as she said, but I think she would change her mind if she understood how conflicts and world crises are easily caused by gestures, behaviors, ideologies and individualism. But…

*looking at Ellyn

Maybe this more positive side of her shouldn't even be affected by the reality here.

- Oh, sorry if I take too much time for this~~

-No need to apologize. It's great to know you're enjoying something here on Earth.

- (Ellyn smiling) Yeah… Thanks for hearing with my thinking.

- You're welcome.

- Sooo… How is living with Raphaella?

- Weell…

As time went on, Ellyn and I started talking in a very friendly way. She talked about Raphaella's life, her relationship with Jack and Ellyn which made me feel sorry for Jack being treated like a dog or servant, about the cafe they went to investigate and about Raphaella's love problem. As personal as it is, I decided to listen just because Ellyn seemed to be quite happy talking about these things with me. I talked about the situation with Ian and his grandmother, the situation with Kiara and my conversation with Claire, resulting in a very pleasant chat with Ellyn.

On second thought, I need to keep in touch with Raphaella. Even though we have different lives and commitments beyond the distance, it would be good to talk to her, both because of the progress of Ellyn and Jack's mission and because I know how she is feeling and know her effectively, even if it's just for the bond that we have unite us, aka beings from another world.

I didn't even notice the time passing. It was the first time that Ellyn and I had a normal conversation, where we were comfortable saying what we wanted, showing our views on these facts, laughing or mocking something we said, creating a very friendly atmosphere. As she said, the lack of being treated as an ordinary person in her world has taken away from her desire to truly express herself as a human being, and our interaction seems to be making her feel good. And I must admit that I'm enjoying it too.

- (Ellyn smirking) So… What's your deal with Naomi, huh?

- Huh?

- Let's just say that from the little I've seen, you guys seem to be in sync with each other. If I did, I'd say you like her more than as a friend.

- It's wide open in my face that you're right, isn't it?

- Maybe she's too slow to notice, in this case you two, or she already knows and is acting in a "we're just friends" way so she doesn't let you down.

- It's making me worried about this.

- Well, I can only say what I see. I'm a door when it comes to these types of relationships, but I'm not silly or ignorant when I see chemistry between couples.

- C-couple? Do you see that in me and Naomi?

- Nope. Because you two are not a couple.

- You're hurting my feelings...

- But if you want a hint… Why don't you try to drop a suggestion here or there about your interest on her?

- We make jokes on that level to tease each other.

- But making a joke and saying something with intent and leaving it up to her to interpret are two different things.

- OK. Let's assume this is it. How do you suggest I do?

- Let me see…

Afew seconds later

- I have no idea.

- See? It's not easy to think of something like that.

- So why not try saying something that implies that you want something with her?

-bLike saying, "It would be nice if we went out to a place by ourselves, just you and me"?

- It might be a good one because let's face it… A hospital is not the best place to date.

- Right… And what should I call her?

- Direct. Let's go out? Ready.

- Oh, she would say no in that case. I've seen a boy at school asking her out and she just couldn't tell how wrong he was doing without knowing her for 10 minutes.

- You are difficult and you don't even help yourself...

- I don't want to fail. Only that.

*silence

- So… Do you want to try it with me?