The Wind of My Life

...

- Mom, where are we going?

- We are going to a place that you will love a lot, dear ~~

- Where, mom?

- Guess ~~

- Hmmmmm… Are we going to… the amusement park?

- You got it right ~~

- Yaaay ~~ I want to go on the merry-go-round! ~~

- Of course, dear ~~

It may have been a long time ago, but we all have a memory of something that made us smile and stay forever in our memories. My favorite was when my mom took me to a amusement park for the first time. Every time we left the house for her to take me at school, we would always pass by this place and I was amazed at the toys they had there. A ferris wheel, crazy cups and my favorite… a merry-go-round with lots of very colorful porcelain horses, which would attract the attention of any child. That day, I went on a lot of toys and it felt like the time I was spending with my mom was very slow, and I was happy with that.

Today, I pass in front of where that park was and I only see a large wasteland, covered with earth, garbage and weeds growing nonstop. I heard that the owner of the park had moved to another city and decided to sell the land to a company, which never used that place and whenever there is an independent or charitable event here, the police are always called on to disperse everyone. It is a horrible feeling when places like this, which make people smile, disappear and give space to forgetfulness, monotony and loneliness ... And for me, it is not only this place that reminds me of it all the time ...

Every day, I wake up, take a shower, eat something, get ready to go to school and spend a few hours there, until it's time to go home. But every day, I feel out of place at school. I never got used to it or felt safe inside. People look at me strangely, they hardly interact with me and when they do, it is out of obligation and not because they want to know something about me or how I feel. Unlike these people, I don't live in an American dream like them, who have happy and successful families ... And it was precisely this type of people who screwed up my life and that of my mother, who did nothing but follow her path far from the normality that surrounded us.

I just want to have a life in which I am not invisible, and maybe ... I just needed to be like them, but ... Every time I think about it, it always comes to my mother's memory taking me to the amusement park. That was not because she wanted to make me happy. She wanted me to have a moment of happiness before everything started to fall apart. To be a happy memory of when she followed her path that only she understood ... And I almost went that way ...

But now… I just need to think a little about everything… And wait for the courage to decide what I want…

But something occurs me after what I saw today… That person… I wondered why that memory came to me even in the most dangerous place for me… And now… I just need to know what she is doing here and why so that I can get on my way… But why does that distress me?