The Wind of My Life

11:30 PM

* looking at the sky

That night doesn't seem so starry when I was in Creast Fall. I started to realize this when I was lying in that park, waiting for the dawn of the first days that I met Sebastian. There it looked like a cleaner sky and constantly lit by the stars, but here, the only light it has are some huge buildings that I can see on the horizon and the sky always looks gray, as if it would rain at any moment, but this rain never it seems to come.

* looking more closely at the night sky

Even though I am in another world, I sometimes wonder if my father is watching me here. Even with this more melancholy and uncertain climate, I always know which direction I should look, as if it were something instinctive, which is strange considering that he should not even be present in this world in any way that was possible. So if he can be here, why doesn't he send a simple signal?

- You know that this floor isn't clean, right?

As I'm sitting on the floor, I just turned my body slightly to notice Raphaela coming towards me slowly, holding a thermo bottle and two plastic cups.

- (making a blowing gesture) I saw it. I cleaned it quickly with a puff ~~

- Well, I don't doubt that. It could be much more useful than the furry having to clean and dirty everything with his fur. - I already thought of the same thing, but then he would lose the home.

After Raphaela comes up here in this simple penthouse of her apartment, she ends up placing the thermos bottle on the floor with the cups on top of the bottle, rubbing the floor to dust what she thinks is dirt and sitting next to me. She looks a lot more casual as usual, with a black long-sleeved shirt and long pants that cover her legs a lot. Funny that no matter what clothes she wears, she always seems to be fine with the things around her.

- Will you want to?

She ends up lifting the thermos and showing it to me.

- I told you. I hate coffee. When is it ...

After making her roll her eyes, she ends up placing one of the cups on the floor, opens the thermos and puts a well-diluted liquid that, in my view, doesn't look like coffee at all.

- (Extending the bottle close to my face) Oh, wind bored. It's tea! Here look!Teeeeeeaaaaaaaa...

- Okay, got it. You don't have to shove it down my throat.

- You, huh. You have to stop these frills with me.

- Sorry. Usually, Jack just puts coffee to make fun of me or something.

- First, I'm glad I'm not him. And second, relax that I did it here. Here, take it.

Raphaela ends up taking the other cup and offering it to me. I end up taking it with both hands and realize that the tea is very warm, but enough to be able to hold it without burning.

- You did it? Miracle that.

- Well, Jack was busy making the stamps, so I ended up doing it. You know, we both need it if we want to be patient with that bastard. - That was very offensive, but I agree with you.

Raphaela talks while she puts tea in the cup she is holding.

- I didn't think you had tea. I always see you with a soda or one of those… energetic drinks, as soon as you speak, right?

- Very wrong, Ellyn. I like to drink tea, but since things got very pulled in college, I didn't have that much time to prepare something edible or something like tea with decency.

- But why don't you ask Jack to do? Always tell him to do something so he doesn't get in the way.

- With a lot of boldness on his part to challenge me, that's the only thing he refuses to do for honor, if he has any.

- Really?

- Yes. Before you got here, I asked him to do it for me and for him to try. He just needed to drown himself in the cup because of the taste and he was left with this joke that "Coffee is the best option to calm down" and stayed with that freshness every time I consider asking. - Jack, why can't you do anything without drama?

- (looking ashamedly to the side) I see ...

- Anyway... Cheers!

After I finished saying that, Raphaela and I ended up having tea together. It tastes sweet and at the same time lightly ... And very good. What a delicious thing! Wait ... calm down, Ellyn. No dra ...

- (Raphaela making a face of relaxation) What a gooooooood thing ... - Never mind.

* observing Raphaela's dark circles in the eyes.

I quickly turn my gaze so she doesn't realize I was looking at her, but by the way and the fact that she's here with me, she must have finished solving her course activities of her university.

- Ellyn, can you do me a favor here?

- Huh?

- Just in case. It's not that I trust your word, just my own neurosis.

I turn my gaze to Raphaela and she is pointing at the floor and making a gesture with her hand to clean there.

- That was rude. But it's okay ~~ Just move away a little.

As Raphaela gets up, takes the bottle and her cup, and goes to my other side, while I extend my hand and I start to pass some energy over there. After a few seconds, I start to feel a light weight and I already realize that I managed to catch some of the flow of this breeze that is giving out here, and after a few seconds, I pass my hand close to the floor where Raphaela asked me to clean, creating a wind flow that ended up removing some of the dust that was there, going outside the boundary of the roof.

- (making an expression of forced pride) Surprise, Ella ~~?

- (Raphaela sighing) Just a little. I'm more concerned if someone with rhinitis passes by on the street and feels all this dust near their nose.

- Well, that's not my fault anymore.

After that, Raphaela puts her bottle and cup in the same place as before, but now, she decided to lying down, placing both hands behind her head to serve as a support for her.

- Now yes ~~

- Wouldn't it be better to lying on your bed and sleep? It solves more than lying on the floor. - I miss the time when I camped in the forests of Elementia.

- And wasting a night with nothing bothering me to wake up with a wolf on top of me or someone texting me early in the morning giving me bad news? No way. And I'm sleepless, so it wouldn't do much good.

- I understand ... But you know, I think that being close to me will not solve much.

- And why not? After so long, we will be able to be alone and talk about us without a freak pervert listening to us.

- It's only been two days and it's not that long. And I guarantee you that, Jack ...

- Shhh! Don't mention his name. Don't ruin that momentary peace.

- Okay, right ... - And I think Raphaela would give Jack a break.

Since I got here, I soon realized that Raphaela has a more direct and sincere way of dealing with people, which in a strange way, made me feel welcomed in the same way that I feel with Sebastian. On the one hand it is good, but the problem with this is that she doesn't seem to restrain herself when saying something, which depending on the subject, can end up hurting or leaving someone with a bad impression.

* watching Raphaela

But so far, she has always treated me well within the acceptable range. I wonder why Jack has different treatment, but I don't think she would tell me without thinking that I have a plan behind it all. But he also deserves it. The animal doesn't settle and still exaggerates.

- So, what do you think about living here?

- Well, your house is not the best…

- I'm talking about the world, not my humble home ...

- A-Ah yes. Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, you know?

- Relax. I wouldn't go crazy at that point. Thank goodness ... - I was almost evicted!

As much as it is a question I expected, coming from Raphaela it seems much more intriguing than if it were for Sebastian.

- Ahem ... Let's say it is very different from what I thought.

- The way you and Jack talk, that's obvious. But is it the way you expected?

- Let's say not.

- How so?

- You know, I expected this world to be ... more cruel.

When I say that, I feel Raphaela's foot touching my shoulder, making a slight push to make me look at her.

- Cruel? So, I can't say you're wrong, but I think cruel is too much.

- Well, that's what I thought when I studied a little more about Earth before I came here.

- And what nihilistic book was that you studied?

- Niili what?

- Ahem ... What I mean is that ... Living in this world is complicated.

- Really? It didn't look like that to me.

- Ellyn, you were lucky to have fallen here. Why I highly doubt that if you had fallen anywhere in the world, you would be so "well received".

* remembering the day I met Sebastian

- Lucky, is it? / (speaking quietly) I think I was the luckiest of all then ...

- But say it ... What did you think after you fell here?

*smiling

- I… I felt good. It is not every place that leaves me like this.

- Wow. It makes it look like your world was a drag.

- Not quite ... How can I explain ...

- If it's an existential chat, I swear I'll leave.

- No ~~ It won't be… Ahem… Have you ever imagined that everything can change in a matter of hours, be it for good or bad?

- It is quite common to roll this here.

- (pointed at the buildings in my view) That's what I thought. But would it change to a point where this city would become ruins?

- Only if a war breaks out or a nation drops a bomb or something.

- So ... In my world, this is more common than this pacific climate you have here. I saw many places, landscapes, kingdoms and other things changed in a matter of hours. And it was always an alert to get me ready for any change that came. Not that it was a good thing, but sometimes, I wondered why people didn't give a moment of peace to everything. A truce between all races and differences. Instead, it seems that no one wants to be a hostage to peace, but to chaotic progress.

*silence

- You could have summed it up, huh?

- What? I was less ...

- No need to justify. I got your point. But seriously ... Why do you think you will have this peace here?

- Well ... Now I'm dressed like a teenager, talking to someone to pass the time without worrying about what might happen tomorrow. If that's not a peace for me, I don't know what is anymore.

- I know ...

After saying that, I just sighed loudly. I don't like to comment on this kind of thing in such a casual way because even though I want to believe that everything can be solved with the simple, everyone complicates it. And I am no exception.

- Well, if you like this peace, I don't think I need to break your expectations. One hour, you'll notice things that will make you question.

- Speaking like that, I don't seem to know how the worlds work.

- Go for me. Don't be fooled that much.

A few more seconds passed and we were silent until ...

- Softening the subject ... How's it going with the boy?

And you can't even ask questions like that, especially when it's something like that.

- So much to ask and you come with it?

- Ah, come on! It's not like you don't want to talk about him with me. - Worse, she's reading me right.

- Well ... everything is going well.

- (Raphaela with bored expression) Really, is that all you are going to say? Nothing else?

- Want me to say what else?

- Well .... About how you are acting with each other, how is your relationship going, these normal things of gossip of love doves ~~

- R-Relationship !? Oh, Raphaela!

- Hey, don't yell. I have neighbors if you didn't notice.

- (slightly embarrassed) But ... Ahh! I already said ... He and I are not together like that.

- But you wanted to, right? He even kissed that brand new, depraved old woman ~~

- (embarrassed and blushing) Raphaela, you…!

- Hey, relax. I'm kidding you ~~ You don't have to be red like a tomato. - Raphaela, yours !!!

- (sighing) I wanted to see you at my place to see if it's good to be listening to that kind of thing.

- Haha ~~ You will never have that pleasure.

No limits and no filter for what to say…

- But seriously, do you like him?

- You're not really going to stop, are you?

- Calm down, this time I'm not making fun of you. I say I like it in the sense that he is someone you feel good about being around him and such, you know?

I know how it is. His presence and his kind and understandable way makes me very happy. Some of the Gachas who are my friends manage to do this, but it doesn't compare to Sebastian's presence. I say this because unlike them, Sebastian didn't know exactly who I was until I told the truth, and that was what I missed in my world.

- Like that, yes. He lets me live that peace that I so wanted and contributes to it, so how could I not like his presence?

Strangely, Raphaela looked slightly downcast, different from her more provocative way. If that's what I'm thinking, I think it's better to change the subject.

- But you know ... N-It's not like it's totally perfect. It's just ... you know, I can't escape or forget what I am, understand? And fooling me about it is not a good thing. So, even though he is like that with me, I cannot ignore what I am ...

Why did it seem to me that it only made matters worse or went deeper?

- Calm down, Ellyn. Freak out before bed is not a good thing ~~

* sighing

- I wish everyone thought as you think, Ellyn ...

When she said that, Raphaela ended up placing her tea cup on the floor and started to run her right hand over a small bracelet with details similar to a flower root attached to her left wrist. I had never seen that bracelet before and seeing Raphaela wearing it makes me look like it is something very important to her, since she doesn't even have an earring or anything like that.

- You think I'm being very naive, don't you? The world is not perfect the way I am imagining it by your face.

- I would be being bad if I said that. I can't tell you this because you already see it in you, but you are still convinced that it is a good thing.

- Why isn't the world going to decide what I see. I will be the one to decide what I think of the world. And if my world is concentrated on few things ...

* thinking about the meeting between me, Sebastian, Jack and Raphaela

- I will make it a point to keep this world to myself ~~

*silence

- Maybe I underestimated you, Ellyn ...

When I turn to look at Raphaela, I notice that she is smiling slightly, still running her hand lightly on the bracelet on her wrist.

- What do you mean, Raphaela?

- I thought you were a very cliché windhead of Netflix's teen movies.

- (ironic smile) Wow ... And now?

- You are a windhead yet ...

- I could not have said that again, you know?

- But you know how to deal with your feelings and thoughts ...

When I hear that, it doesn't seem like she's saying it in a relaxed way, but it seems very melancholy to me… As if…

- Raphaela. I want to ask you something.

- Wow. Female interesting thing about boys, huh?

- Stop it. It's not that.

- So ... Ask. Which is?

I know what plagues her. Since I arrived here at Raphaela's apartment, she seemed to be thinking about something. And maybe, she just needs to hear something ...

- Why don't you try to create your own small world? You know, identifying what makes you feel good, holding on to what you like and accepting that you are also a head of wind for thinking that nothing can be the way you want it, when you are able to make your world happier.

When I say that, Raphaela just stared at me without wasting a reaction other than her neutrality, but on better understanding, she looks slightly thoughtful when she turns her gaze to the bracelet. And after a laugh ...

- Do you think I could do that?

- I don't think so. You can do it if you believe you are capable ~~

*silence

- Well, I have no way to say no to that, so okay, right?

- (slightly confused) Why are you still insisting on this kind of tsundere?

- Look who's talking, Ellyn Rodrigues ~~

- HEY!

In the end, we were laughing a little at this situation. Even though it was a very distant conversation from what Raphaela was wanting, I feel it was good to say that my more childish side to her. I wonder why she can't be honest with her feelings when she creates this role of a woman wanting to be independent and strong all the time when she looks like she's going to fall and cry for hours, with everything going on.

- Wow, how cold ~~

I also begin to feel that the breeze has cooled, and apparently the rain that was not coming is finally coming. I get up, reach out and support my hand for Raphaela to get up.

- If you don't want to take a rain shower, I think we better go in.

- (Raphaela pretending to be sleepy) I'm feeling laaaaaaazyyyyyy…

- Did you bother to come here to talk to me and now you are lazy? Come right before I start to pull you by the foot.

- I doubt it!

I take Raphaela's foot, I end up creating a small loop of green energy and start pulling Raphaela with the loop wrapped around her foot, making her nervous and angry that I'm doing this. Yes, she still has a more feminine and adolescent instinct within her, even though she is an adult woman with her emotional problems ... And that is part of my happy little world ...