The Price of Love Was Only Despair and Hell

“I heard you had tea time with the noble wives.”

“…Now you don’t even observe court etiquette with me? I think you should at least knock before entering, Your Majesty.”

Only then did Jenaden realize he had acted too hastily in his sharp entrance, ignoring protocol entirely.

Upon hearing that Sarubia had held a tea party, he rushed to the Empress’s quarters without any formalities. Jenaden’s behavior was unbecoming for anyone addressing the Empress, yet here he was, driven by curiosity and disbelief.

“Queen, why did you suddenly do something you never did before?”

Sarubia laughed, lifting one corner of her mouth.

“I didn’t do it before… I’m finally doing what I should have been doing.”

Jenaden was at a loss for words, realizing how foolish he had been.

“Have you thought about what I told you?” she asked calmly.

“It’s…”

“I will help you, Your Majesty. There are no lies in my words, so you can relax.”

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this all of a sudden.”

“Because I know you plan to throw him out.”

“That’s impossible, Empress.”

“You must think I’m a fool, Your Majesty. Ask anyone in the palace. Everyone knows that you and my father are constantly at odds.”

He had underestimated her.

When had she started hearing the gossip of the palace staff? Only now did Jenaden realize that the woman standing before him was no longer the Sarubia who once only looked at him with devotion.

“…Fine, that’s good. I’ll accept your offer.”

Though Jenaden didn’t fully understand what had changed within Sarubia, he thought her proposal wasn’t entirely bad for him.

“We’ll strike a good deal, Your Majesty.”

There would undoubtedly be hardships and challenges ahead, but Sarubia seemed determined. Her deathly resolve was evident, making Jenaden believe they could endure whatever came their way.

“…What do you plan to do now?”

Sarubia smiled enigmatically.

“First, I want to prepare for Your Majesty’s birthday. You’ve never entrusted that to me before.”

Jenaden’s shoulders flinched. She was right. Although he had pretended to love her, he had never given her any meaningful responsibilities as Empress.

He had wanted Sarubia to live like a scarecrow, oblivious to everything around her.

“…Fine.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

Jenaden wanted to ask what her plans were but decided against it. Perhaps this was his chance to see if she was truly on his side.

***

As soon as Jenaden granted Sarubia permission to prepare for his birthday, she became noticeably busier.

Having never managed the palace’s finances, Sarubia now found herself buried in a flood of documents.

As she reviewed them, Sarubia let out a hollow laugh.

‘I can’t believe I’m finally doing what I should have done as Empress,’ she thought bitterly.

How had she lived until now?

The answer was clear. She had lived a dull, foolish life. A wry smile graced her lips.

“I… Your Majesty…”

Stella, who had come to bring tea to Sarubia, approached hesitantly.

“The Duke of Bronar says he’s coming soon.”

“Yes.”

“Shall I prepare some refreshments in the drawing room?”

“Please do.”

Stella left, and Sarubia tapped the desk with her pen. The reason for her father’s visit was obvious.

He was here to ask for money discreetly.

The Duke of Bronar’s influence spread through the palace like a dense spiderweb. Some of the emperor’s annual birthday funds even flowed into his coffers.

Of course, Jenaden was aware of this but was merely holding back for the right moment.

“Welcome, Father.”

Sarubia greeted the Duke of Bronar as he took a seat. He frowned as he sat across from her.

“Would you like some tea? It’s a rose blend that arrived yesterday.”

“I heard you’re preparing for the Emperor’s birthday.”

Bronar ignored her question and got straight to the point.

“Yes, I want it to be a success.”

Sarubia’s eyes curled into a smile, masking her true feelings. She appeared as naive and adoring as before, ensuring her father wouldn’t suspect the changes within her.

The Duke of Bronar clicked his tongue discreetly. ‘Foolish girl,’ he thought.

“Your Majesty seems to trust you completely.”

“Yes.”

“There’s something else. I need some money. Could you spare some of the funds set aside for the birthday preparations?”

Bronar didn’t hesitate to make his request.

“What…? Father, that’s…”

“Sarubia, aren’t you our only daughter? The duke’s household is struggling to fund a new business. Surely, you won’t refuse?”

‘His only daughter,’ Sarubia thought bitterly, biting her lip to suppress a contemptuous smile.

She had longed to hear those words once.

Clenching her trembling hand, she forced a smile.

“Then it’s not a large sum, but I’ll try to allocate a little.”

“I’m sure His Majesty loves you dearly, so he won’t scold you if you’re caught.”

The Duke of Bronar genuinely believed Jenaden was deeply in love with Sarubia.

He was unaware of how wrong his assumptions were.

However, at this time, Sarubia was incharge of the Empress role for the first time. This was a good sign.

‘The emperor in love is no better after all,’ The Duke’s mouth gushed with a grin.

For Bronar, this was an opportunity to manipulate his daughter into securing more royal funds.

Sarubia, in his eyes, was still the obedient child he had raised. A doll who couldn’t object when told what to do.

“When are you going to have a child?”

The inevitable question that Sarubia had anticipated followed. Sarubia cautiously opened her mouth to the Duke of Bronar, who looked at her and asked.

“We’re happy as we are,” Sarubia replied cautiously.

“What nonsense. As Empress, you must bear an heir. How many years has it been?”

“…Yes… Father… I’ll do my best.”

Satisfied, Bronar smiled contentedly.

“Good. I’ll take my leave now.”

He rose, preparing to return home and make further calculations.

‘Foolish father,’ Sarubia thought bitterly.

Sarubia bit her lips as she watched him turn his  back.

‘Yes, remain blind to the truth. The moment you uncover it, you’ll descend into hell.’

Feeling drained by her father’s sudden visit and the mounting workload, Sarubia decided to take a walk.

Perhaps fresh air would clear her head.

***

But she hadn’t expected this encounter.

Sitting at a table in the central palace garden, Sarubia stared blankly at the teacup before her.

‘I barely avoided the tiger and got some rest, but I suddenly felt like I met a lion.’

She had barely escaped one predator only to find herself cornered by another.

After leaving the Imperial Palace, Sarubia came across Jenaden while walking in the central palace garden.

Jenaden had called out to her, who was only trying to say hello and pass by, and she couldn’t refuse him.

“The Duke of Bronar has left…” Jenaden said, breaking the silence.

Sarubia nodded.

“He openly requested a slush fund.”

“I expected it, but that was fast.”

Jenaden, who was about to drink tea with his cup, looked slightly at Sarubia with a side-long glance. She turned her head and gazed at the colorful chrysanthemums in the royal garden.

“What are you going to do?”

“I’ll give it to him for now. We need to track where the money goes. Oh, and you can use this as an excuse when you divorce me later.”

“…May I ask why you hate your father so much?”

Jenaden’s voice was filled with curiosity. Why Sarubia hates her father so much.

‘I couldn’t understand why she suddenly did this, who had never shown hostility to her father.’

On the surface, the Duke of Bronar appeared to Jenaden several times to look after Sarubia. Every time Sarubia would look at her father and smile.

“So she actually hates his father?, something doesn’t add up.”

Sarubia met his gaze, knowing that this was a delicate topic.

“He’s greedy and treats me like a scarecrow.”

“…Is that the only reason?”

Their eyes met briefly before Jenaden looked away.

Sarubia chose not to press further, though she knew the real reason Jenaden despised Bronar.

It was the Duke of Bronar who had destroyed the family of Jenaden’s first love, Elaine.

For Duke Bronar, who began to hold power in the imperial family from the time of the former emperor, it was obvious that Elaine, Jenaden’s first love, must have been an eyesore. He had viewed Elaine as a threat to his ambition to elevate Sarubia as Empress.

To prevent Elaine from becoming Empress, he had orchestrated a crime that led to the Costel family’s ruin overnight.

Jenaden, only thirteen at the time, had been powerless, and the former emperor was killed in war with the Duke of Bronar. The former empress, Jenaden’s mother, was also weak. So virtually all power went to Duke Bronar.

On the day the Costell family was ruined. As if it didn’t exist from the beginning, was immediately forgotten by the people.

‘No wonder he hates my father,’ Sarubia thought bitterly.

‘And the Duke’s daughter was me, so it was natural for him to also dislike me.’

“…What are you thinking?” Jenaden’s voice broke through her thoughts.

Sarubia quickly composed herself.

“Nothing. Just reminiscing about my childhood.”

“When you were young…?”

“…Why do I hate my father?”

Sarubia’s voice was steady, despite the painful memories stirring within her.

She knew she had to share some of her past to gain Jenaden’s trust.

“They never saw me as a human being…”

Sarubia smiled bitterly, her heart heavy.