The Female Lead Found My Suicide Note

Meeting

“Stop… please stop.”
A voice squeezed out like wringing breath.
I was able to come to my senses at that voice.
Delicate white shoulders, reddened wet eyes, red swollen cheeks.
I see a woman who reminds me of a flower about to break, letting out painful groans pressed under my hand.
As I stare blankly at the current situation that I can’t understand even if I try to,
Along with faint crying sounds, a slight trembling is transmitted to my palm.
At that sensation, I quickly remove my hand, and the woman who had been pressed down wraps her body and moves as far away from me as possible.
‘What kind of situation is this?’
I was definitely reading a novel while half-dozing on the bus after finishing meaningless overtime work, but.
I couldn’t understand at all how I was about to do something barely human in this luxurious place that seemed to have no connection to me.
While I’m looking at the crying woman and instinctively feeling sorry and screwed,
Suddenly I could discover one strange point.
‘… This face looks very familiar.’
I know it’s strange to have this thought in this situation, but.
It was clear that this face was so ingrained that it came to mind even in this situation.
As I thought about that and squeezed my eyes shut, one word flashed through my mind.
‘Female protagonist.’
Appearance identical to the female protagonist of the novel I was reading while dozing earlier.
Not just similar – even the accessories she’s wearing are exactly the same as the characteristics of the female lead I saw in the illustrations.
At that realization, I looked around just in case and.
Hurriedly approached a mirror installed far away to look at my face.
“……”
What was reflected there wasn’t my face, but someone else’s face… to be precise, the face of the villain character from the novel I was reading earlier was reflected in the mirror.
Around when I was just laughing emptily at the unrealistic situation that made me wonder if it was a dream.
Suddenly several pieces of information about that novel flash through my mind.
A female lead suffering novel, a sad ending where the female lead defeats the demon king but dies after going through much hardship, a novel that’s cancer itself.
In this suffocatingly frustrating novel.
I became Deren, the character who becomes the female lead’s nightmare and trauma.

The one who drove the female lead to suffering, the main contributor to the sad ending, villain #1 that she wants to kill.
When I lay out the brief description of the character I’ve possessed, it feels even more hopeless.
Around when I’m feeling dizzy and letting out a sigh,
I hear the sound of the female protagonist sniffling from the far end.
The moment I hear that sound, my complicated mind calms down remarkably and makes me face reality.
I decided to organize the current situation while letting out a light sigh.
First, the name of the novel I’ve entered is ‘Female Lead Rolls!’ and.
As can be known from the name, it was a novel where the female lead faces all sorts of problems and rolls countless times pitifully.
‘From the novel’s introduction, she almost gets raped by the character Deren, well, you can guess what happens after without me explaining.’
Fortunately, since the novel was rated for all ages, she wasn’t raped but.
I remembered being spoiled in the comments that the violence and verbal abuse that the character Deren committed to possess the female lead continues until the last part of the novel.
‘Right, spoilers…’
I couldn’t help but frown greatly at suddenly recalling the last part of the spoiler comment I remembered:
[Ah! And don’t worry too much because that bastard Deren dies miserably by the female lead’s hand in the latter half. ^^]
Though I had forgotten momentarily because the situation was bewildering.
According to the spoiler comments, the character I possessed was scheduled to die miserably by the female lead’s hand.
Realizing that fact, I looked at the female lead again.
Though her cheek is swollen, there are no signs of major injuries elsewhere, and judging by the relatively intact state of the bedding, it seems I haven’t brought her here long ago.
‘I’m not sure if this should be considered fortunate among misfortunes but.’
Thinking that it hasn’t reached the worst yet, I turned my gaze away.
‘If I leave things as is, a future where the character I possessed dies will come, so if possible I’d like to resolve this situation and cut off the ill fate, but.’
The problem was that no method came to mind.
‘Since the family’s power was so strong that no one could touch them, he grew up without human decency, and someone who usually committed all sorts of evil deeds… Even if he suddenly came to his senses while trying to rape and apologized… perceptions wouldn’t change.’
It would be fortunate if she didn’t feel disgust.
People tend to feel great disgust toward things they don’t understand.
‘So apologizing here would be meaningless.’
I judged it would be right to just cleanly stop here and let things pass ambiguously without going further.
‘To put it in words, it would be better to remain as just someone who tried to do something in the past.’
Unlike the original work, I stopped before crossing an irreversible line and.
The numerous incidents that will happen to the female lead in the future will make her forget my existence, so there was still a chance.
So instead of dying while hanging around and tormenting her like in the original novel.
While I was deciding to leave the female lead’s sight and gradually be forgotten from memory,
Suddenly a passage from the novel flashes through my mind.
[If only once… if I had received even one apology from him, I wouldn’t have hated him this much.]
The moment that passage comes to mind, my heart wavers again.
Looking at just the situation, it’s obvious that apologizing here would have the opposite effect but.
The original novel was saying to apologize.
‘Having to possess this kind of character is giving me a headache.’
While letting out an inner sigh and conflicting for a moment.
Deciding to leave room whether she accepts the apology or not, I slowly opened my mouth.
“Forgive…”
I tried to say ‘me’ but.
Seeing the tears falling drop by drop down her cheeks, I couldn’t open my mouth.
Looking at her like that, I bit my lip hard before slowly imitating Deren’s way of speaking.
“Don’t.”
“……”
“Don’t forgive me.”
Words completely different from my intention.
I’m not sure if it was because I felt sympathy for the female lead after reading the novel for a long time, or if it was because the character Deren shouldn’t be forgiven.
But seeing how I don’t regret it much, perhaps it was what I always wanted to say to the female lead
‘This was just leaving room anyway.’
Room that doesn’t matter whether given or not.
So deciding not to worry about it too much, I looked around.
‘The novel definitely said there was recovery medicine in the drawer.’
In the original work, Deren exercises violence on the female lead and makes her faint.
Then there’s a description of him taking out recovery medicine from the drawer and sprinkling it on the fainted female lead.
‘But since I don’t know the exact location, I have to find it myself.’
Since there was a description that the recovery medicine was in a glass bottle, I just needed to search through drawers that looked reasonably large.
I opened the largest drawer among the nearby ones and took out the most luxurious-looking glass bottle among the glass bottles inside.

[Elexium]

Highest grade recovery medicine.

When I take out the recovery medicine, a window appears before my eyes.
Though it was definitely a system window I was seeing for the first time, perhaps because I’ve read so many possession novels, rather than finding it amazing, it felt strangely familiar.
I placed the recovery medicine I picked up near the female lead and immediately walked out of the room.

‘… I think I’m going crazy.’
On top of the unrealistic events, having urgent matters to handle as well makes it impossible to come to my senses properly.
While holding back the urge to collapse right away, I slowly moved my feet.
‘Deren… Deren huh.’
How did I end up possessing the body of such an irredeemable trash?
Though I had a passing thought that if I was going to possess someone, I wished it had been someone proper.
Realizing that the fundamental problem was being possessed without my consent in the first place, I let out a sigh.
‘Anyway, let’s stop worrying about problems that can’t be solved here.’
I decided to think about what to do with Deren’s body, and furthermore, how to return to Earth…
‘No wait a minute, do I really need to return to Earth?’
Even if I return, it’s obvious I’ll just end my life repeating work with no future prospects and poor pay at what’s commonly called a shit company.
Is there really a need to abandon this life and return?
‘Of course family is concerning but…’
Perhaps because family circumstances weren’t particularly good, I didn’t feel longing or sadness yet.
I thought I might be too cold-hearted, but such thoughts quickly disappeared since I had been through so much.
‘Ah and besides, having a healthy body is the best thing.’
Though it’s a bit awkward to say this in my mid-20s but.
With stress and frequent overtime work piling up, I had been feeling something wrong with my body recently.
‘If I ate something like jajangmyeon for lunch, my stomach would feel heavy and painful all day, and recently reflux esophagitis came too so the pain was no joke.’
But this guy’s body is so strong as if such minor illnesses don’t affect it at all.
I couldn’t feel any of the pain I had been feeling lately.
While I was letting out an empty laugh finding it absurd how satisfied I was with this,
I caught sight of the female lead carefully sneaking out of my room at the end of the corridor.
‘Looks like she’s finally calmed down.’
I let out a sigh thinking I should return to the room after she leaves.