She Belongs To The Devil

"Your eyes looked exactly like that of the very monster who treated me like his prey, made me his plaything for years, and tortured me beyond repair."

Scarlett choked on her tears when she recalled how that moment, the moment when she held her newborn for the first time, the moment that was supposed to be the happiest moment of her life, became the moment she regretted the most.

Not because she gave birth to the blood of Reginald, but because that was the moment when she decided to abandon the little life whom she was supposed to love and care for.

"I was so scared when I saw your red eyes staring back at me that I failed to see the innocence on your face. I saw you as a monster even when you were just a helpless baby who had barely taken a few breaths after coming into the world."
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Scarlett wrapped her fingers around her nape and dug her fingernails into her skin as if to punish her for her past sin, for she had acted like a monster instead of a mother.

Streams of tears kept on rolling down her face as she recalled her sinful act, her voice now as feeble as the voice of someone on deathbed as she spoke further.

"I failed to think that you were my son too and not just his. And on a whim, when my mind was in turmoil, I… I took the worst decision of my life. I decided that it was better to leave you to… to die rather than raise you and watch you turn into the very monster I hated from my gut."

Kenneth felt a sharp pain running down his chest when he heard that the reason why his birthmother decided to abandon him was the color of his eyes, the same eyes that made him feel so insecure for his whole life, the same eyes that had made it impossible for him to make friends as a child for the other kids would fear approaching him because his eyes looked different.

With a deep frown on his forehead, Kenneth tightly shut his eyes as he continued listening to Scarlet's painful whispers.

"Abandoning you was the greatest mistake of my life. I wish I had never put you into that tiny basket and heartlessly dropped you into the cold ocean in the middle of the night. I didn't even breastfeed you once… I couldn't… How could I be so heartless?"

She sniffled and wiped her tears to take a look at that very abandoned son who came looking for her, the heartless mother who left him to starve and die.

Oh, how she felt her heart getting crushed when she saw her son's lowered head with his eyes closed, probably to hide them from her after the soul-crushing truth that she said.

She began whimpering again, sensing the immense hurt that her son was feeling. She raised her hand and pinched her son's chin to lift his head. She wanted to convey to her son that she wasn't afraid of his eyes anymore but no words came out of her mouth when she saw the teardrops that were threatening to fall down his eyes.

So instead, she wiped the teardrops from the corners of Kenneth's eyes and lovingly cupped his cheeks.

The warmth of her palms prompted Kenneth to finally open his eyes and look at her. However, he couldn't hold her gaze and turned away, saying, "I'm sorry I was born with these eyes and these curses."

Scarlett felt even more wounded when her son apologized for the thing that wasn't in his control. "You don't have to apologize for anything… especially not to someone like me. I am the one who needs to apologize." She lowered her head and mumbled, more to herself than to her son, "Though my apologies don't negate my sins… I need to apologize."

She quickly looked at her son, held his hands tightly as if she would lose him again if she loosened her grip, and then said in an apologetic tone, "I am so sorry for what I did to you. You must have been so hungry, so cold, and so scared… You must have cried so much… I deserve to go to Hell for the sin I committed that night."

Damien, who was silently watching the mother and son duo, suddenly pursed his lips when he heard Scarlett mentioning Hell and thought to himself, 'If she doesn't repent properly, she might actually have to make a detour to Hell before moving on for reincarnation.'

He heaved a quiet sigh and continued to witness Scarlett's heart-aching cries and hear words of apologies.

"I am so sorry that I left you to die even though you hadn't done anything wrong. I should have done everything in my power to protect you from the world but I left you all alone… in the middle of the ocean…" She lowered her head until her forehead was touching Kenneth's hands and further said while sobbing, "The guilt finally sunk in the next day when I heard another child's cry and I lactated."

She hiccupped and said in an utterly excruciating tone, "I lactated but I didn't have my child with me. And while my milk was going to waste, I knew you were crying your heart out somewhere due to hunger, that is if you were still alive and floating around somewhere."

Although Kenneth didn't know whether to hate his birthmother or pity her right now, he couldn't bear to see her crying her heart out. So, he tried to make light of the situation. "Well, I am alive so, I bet I was happily floating towards the shore's safety."

Scarlett raised her head and said while shaking it. "I wanted to go back and look for you but it was already way too late. The ship had already crossed a lot of distance by then. And I started to think that you had already…"

She took a sharp breath and continued as hot streaks of tears kept rolling down her cheeks. "The guilt became so unbearable that I ran to the ship's deck and jumped into the water to kill myself. But since it was daytime, other people saw me and pulled me out of the water."

"You tried to kill yourself?" Kenneth frowned, his heart aching for the mother who tried to kill him.

Scarlett looked down at the floor and slightly nodded. "I thought that was the fitting punishment for a monster like me. And that wasn't the only time I tried to take my own life. I tried again a couple of times but failed at it."

"Why would you even try to harm yourself? Didn't it ever occur to you that maybe I was saved by some fishermen or got washed up to the shore?" Kenneth felt the need to reprimand her for her thoughtless behavior. He couldn't imagine looking for his birthparents and never finding them his whole life.

Scarlett gave a short smile to her son. "It wasn't until a traveling witch dragged me from a hilltop and revealed to me that you were still alive that I gave up on such an idea. It was her who told me that you would come looking for me if I settled in this village."

Kenneth felt thankful to whoever that witch was. She gave him a chance to successfully seek the truth about himself.

And although his birthmother did something so awful to him, he could see that she was alive only because she was clinging to the hopes of meeting him again one day. He couldn't bring himself to be harsh to the woman who was already drowning in guilt and suffering so much.

So, he extended his arms and said after wiping her tears, "I am here now. Don't cry anymore."