perverted potion prankster Naruto

and drizzle in 2 ounces of Toad spawn, and when the mixture turns a darker brown, it is ready to be cooled for 30 minutes.

After cooling the potion, it will become an even darker brown, at which point you add in the final ingredient. Boomslang venom mixed with 3 crushed four leaf clovers, and add in magic power at the stroke of midnight.

"Uh, writing these down so I don't forget them is so annoying." Naruto stated as he sipped his his latte, extra honey. He was just sitting at a cafe outside of Vatican City, which should put him on high alert all things considered. The fact was that he was right outside of the territory of the people who gave Xenovia and Irina the missions to chase him down, but right now Xenovia and Irina were on a mission outside of the country, and had been on that mission for a couple of days now.

Sometimes he hated his shitty memory.

Still, recording everything he did allowed him to look at all of his failures and experiments, and see where he could improve. He had entire notebooks filled with nothing but his failures, and those notebooks were his precious treasure.

"Hey."

"... Hey..." Naruto stated when he realized that Xenovia was standing in front of him, in her casual clothes, and some bandages wrapped around her arm. Her arm was in a sling as well, showing that she had injured it. "You cut your hair." Naruto stated, and Xenovia welcomed herself to sitting down across from him.

She looked at him.

"About three years ago, my hair became a liability and I cut it off to make it shorter, and I wasn't paying too much attention and it got long again. It got tangled up in my recent mission, and when I'm on my way back from getting it cut, I see you here." Xenovia grabbed the menu from Naruto and she started to look it over. She wasn't on a mission to go after him, since whenever she was assigned a mission, it negated her last mission in her mind.

Not to mention, they were in a public space and she didn't want to become a everyone's masturbation material. She didn't know what kind of tricks that Naruto had, so she would just settle for sitting down.

"Ah, I see... so we're on friendly terms right now then?" Naruto asked her when he realized that she was out of uniform, and not hunting him down.

Xenovia thought about it for a moment.

"Well, I have more of a respect for you I would say. You've managed to escape me several times now, so you're worthy of recognition, and you are very skilled in magecraft. I've tasted that firsthand... which is why you owe me lunch." Xenovia stated as she gestured for a waiter to come over and take her order. "Yes, I'll have a Pasta Con Pomodoro E Basilico, and... that drink looks good... what he is having. You don't have a problem with paying for me, do you?" Xenovia asked Naruto with a raised eyebrow.

...

"Seems fair, sure." Naruto shrugged his shoulders.

She has been anally fucked by his tentacle monster before, and she was often on the bad end of his experiments. Right now they weren't exactly enemies, so he didn't see why he couldn't make up for the things he had done to her before. The next time they met each other, she would no doubt be trying to capture him, and he would be using some experiment to mess with her so that he could escape.

"More than fair, you kind of owe me." Xenovia mentioned as the waiter walked off.

Naruto stared her down.

"Stop trying to capture me, and bad things will stop happening to you. I only do these things to you, and Irina, because you have been chasing after me. Do you think I enjoy..." Naruto stopped talking when Xenovia stared at him, her eyebrow raising."... good point, I really enjoy the pervy things I have done to you two. Still though, they wouldn't happen if you stopped trying to take me to the church." Naruto had to admit he liked it.

Xenovia and Irina were hot babes, it wasn't his fault that he was sexually attracted to them, and seeing them stripped naked with perverted things happening to them turned him on. He wouldn't do it to them if they stopped chasing after him, and that was a fact. His pranks against civilians were simple, but his pranks didn't tend to go to the same extremes that Xenovia and Irina suffered from when they tried to catch him.

"Can't help it, I'm under orders. Your practicing magecraft without a proper license, and while that can be forgiven since your parents were a mage and alchemist, the fact your cause trouble for people can't be overlooked. You know, you could join the church, if you promised to stop with the perverted experiments." Xenovia explained to him.

Naruto put his arms in front of his body in an X motion.

"Nope, I refuse. This is so much fun, and I know church mages are given strict orders to only conduct approved experiments. There is no way I could work under strict conditions. I mean, watch this-" Naruto reached into his pocket, and he pulled out two vials. Naruto mixed them together and shook them up. As a waiter passed by, Naruto reached behind the man and poured the vial into a coffee that he had on his tray.

When he reached a table, and handed the coffee to a man sitting down with his family, Naruto gestured to them and Xenovia payed very close enough.

*Massive Ass Blasting, Pants Ripping, Shitting Sounds*

"Ooooooh!"

The cafe burst into laughter as the man stood up with a massive brown stain on the back of his pants, mere moments after he took a sip of his coffee. Naruto gestured to the man as he ran by them, and Xenovia had to cover her mouth, because even she was giggling at the unfortunate accident that the man had in his pants.

"No way I would be able to do that if I stopped being a lone agent. I love pranks, and I love pervy stuff too, and most of all... well, honestly I just don't know what I want to do with my life yet. I just feel that I need to figure it out on my own though." Naruto explained as another waiter brought Xenovia her plate of food, and with her one good arm she started to eat it. She was going to enjoy her free meal.

She considered his words.

"What was that potion made for?"

"It cleanses the entire digestive system, fixing anything that is wrong with it. Side effect is that everything that is wrong with your stomach and intestines comes flying out your ass, high speed too. It's not actually a laxative, it's a regenerative drug for the belly... side effects and all." Naruto chuckled to himself. A man in his middle age like that would have some stomach issues, and Naruto just took care of all of it for the man. Whatever might have been wrong with his stomach was going to be fixed, since he practically had an entirely new digestive system.

Xenovia hummed in thought, and smiled lightly.

The food was delicious.

"Why don't you make money off that potion?"

"I tried, but people don't like the thought of shitting out their entire digestive system and regrowing a new one. Hey, by the way... want to become my assistant for an experiment I'm planning?" Naruto offered her, thought he was pretty sure she was going to deny him.

"Pervy, then no."

"Meh, I'll just hire a hooker then, and alter her memory a little... I'm still not great at it, but I'm sure I can make her think she was paid to be apart of a gangbang or something." Naruto huffed as he leaned forward, depressed.

Xenovia was going to regret this.

"... And what exactly would I have been doing if I accepted?"

"Oh, glad you asked-"

"Nevermind, I don't want to know, just nod your head if it involves tentacles or slime." Xenovia spoke, and he nodded his head.

"I think I've got it down, but more than that, I want to test a potion I think I've completed. The potion will restore a girl's hymen, so-"

"I don't have one, mine broke during my training. Most athletic girls like me break them by accident, or rather years of using tampons. What use would that potion even... fetishes?" Xenovia realized after a moment, and Naruto nodded his head with a grin. She realized that Naruto planned to sell the potion to women who had a fetish for losing their virginity, or even wanted to pretend to be virgins for their lovers. "Wouldn't your healing potion work for that?"

"Actually, no, you would think. Since losing the hymen thing is a natural part of life for girls, healing potions don't actually heal them. Otherwise girls with regeneration powers would keep regrowing it... oh, I need to find a girl from the Phenex family to experiment with, and see-"

Xenovia glared at him.

"I can forgive your experiments to some degree, but I will lose my respect for you if you ally yourself with the enemies of my Lord." Xenovia actually did respect his skills. The things he put his skills towards might not be something she respected, but the way he had such a passion for his work was admirable.

He was also a hard worker who went and got his ingredients on his own, most of the time, and put a ton of effort into his creations.

Naruto raised his hands.

"Hey now, I've never met a devil before, but I read about them from my parent's notes. I just think it would be cool to experiment on them. My Dad's notes say that the Gremory clan possess amazing magical talent, so I was thinking if I could get some hair from a Gremory, I could make a potion that could negate magical talent... sounds cool, right?" Naruto asked her. The very thought that he could negate something that came so naturally to a certain devil clan would be something that would put his name on the map. "Oh, and if I could apply it to my tentacles, to give them a magic resistance... all the better."

Xenovia paused.

"... You know what, I actually approve of that idea. If you do make a potion that can negate devil magic, be sure to let me know. So, what are you writing?" Xenovia watched Naruto's hand move over a notebook, and how he was recording something in a foreign language. "Ah, that is Irina's native tongue, Japanese. I can't read it." Xenovia admitted.

Naruto and Xenovia were speaking Italian at the moment, but Naruto was naturally geared towards writing in Japanese, a language she didn't understand very well. Irina taught her enough to hold a slight conversation, but not much more than that.

"Just recording my ideas so I don't forget them, so I can try them out, or see where I failed. Pork is doing great, thanks for asking." Naruto stated after a moment. "He returned back to being a normal pig, the potion I gave him was incomplete. He is all healed now."

Xenovia rolled her eyes.

"Can't say I care about an Orc that I'm pretty sure was going to try and have his way with me."

"Which is why you should stop chasing me, because eventually something will happen and one of my experiments might have their way with you."

"I've already accepted that could happen, and if something bad happens to me on a mission, then I wasn't strong enough to stop it. Anyway, your tentacle monsters already had their way with my mouth and butt before, in case you have forgotten, I have not forgotten what tentacle cum tastes like, or what it feels like inside me." Xenovia reminded him that at this point, she had already had some pretty extreme things happen to her. There was a reason it was always her and Irina that were sent after him.

No other females would go after him, and the male exorcists were afraid of what would happen to them if they tried. Irina wanted to capture Naruto because she wanted to get back at him for what happened to her, and she just didn't care so long as it was part of the mission.

Naruto crossed his legs under the table.

...

"Did I give you an erection?"

"Yes." Naruto deadpanned at her, and she nodded her head.

"It makes me feel good knowing that I'm attractive, that's not a feeling I've ever really thought about on the battlefield before. You know, the male exorcists at the church are pretty self-conscious about their size, but I've noticed that you don't seem to have a problem." Xenovia remembered how comfortable Naruto was around the naked Manphin and the naked Orc, with their dicks hanging out. Both of them had been pretty damn large, and she was wondering if he was that confident in his own size.

Not that she cared that much.

"Meh, I'm not bothered by that kind of stuff. So, how do you like how our little date is going?" Naruto asked Xenovia, and she just considered it for a moment.

"Well, I do feel that I'm understanding your motivations better at least. Not to mention, you're very easy to talk to, so I feel this date is going well. Of course, I hope you aren't expecting a kiss at the end of it, as is custom at the end of dates."

...

"Oh, we're already shared a kiss, haven't we?" Xenovia asked as she remembered the kiss they shared in the forest, though Naruto had been transformed into Irina for it. She had been transformed into him shortly after. "Oh... I guess technically, I kissed... Irina? Either way, your tongue technique could use some work. Thinking back on it, I guess I didn't offer much to the kiss though." Xenovia, ever the serious girl.

She took almost everything seriously to some degree, and even when Naruto snickered, she could only stare him down.

"Thanks, now I've got an idea for... oh, oh OH, I've got a great idea." Naruto stated as he started to write down ideas for potion in his notebook, one that he could apply to his tentacles to make a new kind of tentacle beast. "... I'm thinking a potion that can make a person's lips as sensitive as their crotch. Oh, that will be hilarious... but what ingredients would I use to make that... gotta start with the basic ingredient for things that manipulate the sense of touch." Naruto started to work on the new potion idea.

Xenovia just kept eating until she finished her lunch, and she saw that Naruto had covered half of a page with notes in a small amount of time. He had a wide smile on his face, and a happy glint to his eyes as he put all of his effort into working on his next experiment.

'Those are the eyes of a man who is filled with passion, as much as I dislike his experiments, the amount of love and effort he puts into them is something I have to respect. He's got a very pure heart... though a very perverted brain.' Xenovia had to chuckle under her breath as she stood up. She was done eating, and Naruto already agreed to pay for her meal. "Well, see you next time I'm chasing you down. We will be enemies next time we meet, so be prepared." Xenovia gave her fair warning.

"Yes, but should... slime... sex beast? Or go classic tentacle monster... choices. Slimes are easier to experiment on. Oh, but with the slime I can... yeah, that could work."

Xenovia could see that Naruto stopped paying attention to her, and instead he was just putting ALL of his attention and effort into what he was doing. He slaved over his notebook as he started to write out a dozen different ingredients, and he would cross out whatever he realized wouldn't work, only to write more ingredients and out they might effect the potion.

Xenovia walked off.

She felt that she understood her enemy a little better after that lunch.