perverted potion prankster Naruto

What does he want with a tiny pig?"

"I have no clue, but his guard might not be down yet. We need to be careful to not get trapped again." Irina stated as she looked at Naruto carrying a baby pig. At this point, they knew that they should suspect something from him that would not end up quite right. Now they were on an official mission to capture Naruto again.

9 days later, after they went to England to exterminate a rogue ghoul causing some trouble there, and their butts had fully recovered from the tentacles. They recovered from the tentacle thing after the first day, but they couldn't go after Naruto without it being a direct order. Their orders were very simple when it came to Naruto.

They were to go after Naruto, but only when they didn't have another mission to take care of, and they weren't allowed to use lethal force against Naruto since what he was doing wasn't lethal. There had also yet to be any victims of his cross-breeding experients with tentacle plants, and Naruto had yet to complete a tentacle plant hybrid that lasted more than a few hours in it's activated state.

"Little piggy, you're going to be a big piggy one day. Glad I spent all that money to get you." Naruto chanted to himself as he sang. He managed to find the perfectly bred pig for his experiement, he went to farm after farm to find a white pig with no spots or any other colors. "An American Yorkshire, it HAD to be that or it just wouldn't work." Naruto hummed as he fed the pig he was holding under his arm carrots.

The pig was very small due to it's young age.

Slung over his shoulder and tied to his neck was a list of ingredients that he had... borrowed of course from the local Mage School. They didn't need to know if some of their magical ingredients went missing, and he was sure that he might pay them back for it... some day.

Maybe.

Okay, he wasn't going to return anything he borrowed, because it was REALLY hard to get Boomslang venom. He didn't fuck with snakes if he could help it, so he usually had to use what little money he had to get somebody else to do it for him. He was better at dealing with Toads and Slugs, other common magical ingredients, than he was with Snakes.

"Oink oink."

"I could call you... Pork... your name is now Pork." Naruto grinned at his own funny name. The name had been chosen for a multitude of reasons. "Lets see what we can do, I'm pretty sure I've got everything the notes said I needed... though the potion does need some modifications. Meh, I'm sure I can use cherry pits instead of grape seeds." Naruto hadn't been able to get what he needed there, but he was sure he found a good substitute.

Naruto entered a house.

Yes, a house, since the current residents were away on vacation, he took the time to set up his base in the house. He would put it back the way he found it when he left for sure, and they would be back in 4 days, so he had more than enough time to do at least 1 or 2 different experients with his Pork, and hopefully he would be able to finish what he planned on working on.

The potion base should be about ready.

"Oh! Better set up my defenses, don't want anyone interrupting me." Naruto tossed a couple of sets around the front yard, and he took out a potion and started to spray it around the grass. With that done, he entered the house. "I should NOT forget to collect those when I leave." Naruto stated as close to 100 tiny flower buds started to grow out of the grass.

With the door closed behind him, Naruto went towards the kitchen where he had a potion boiling over the electric stove. Putting Pork in a box he couldn't get out of, Naruto started to unpack his ingredients that he would be using.

The potion was clear and bubbling.

Good.

-Outside-

"Okay Xenovia, I saw him throw something across the ground... we should be careful and watch out step." Irina drew her sword and prepared for a fight. She looked across the yard and she saw nearly 100 flowers with pink and purple petals, and the center of the flower seemed to be more eyeball shaped in appearance.

It even blinked when it looked at her.

"Irina... don't... move." Xenovia stated when she noticed it to, and she raised her sword up. "These are the same type of tentacle ast he beach... just smaller." Xenovia whispered as the hundred flower eyes started to look towards her and Irina.

Irina's ass clenched tight.

"Can we fail this mission?" Irina pleaded with Xenovia, since she was not really looking forward to the idea of getting surprise anal again. Her butt might not hurt anymore, but she was still pretty butthurt about what happened on the beach. It was super humiliating for her and Xenovia to empty themselves out of tentacle goo on the beach before they were forced to take a cab back to the church.

They were NOT in a condition to walk straight after that night.

"No, we can't retreat. As long as we don't get caught, we will be fine. Careful, be careful and don't make any sudden movements or loud noises." Xenovia knew that it was the fighting and loud noises of the fight with the stray devil that had woke up the Tentacle Plant last time. These ones were smaller

A couple of smaller tentacles started to come out of the ground like slithering snakes, and for the girls with recent experience with this type of tentacle, they were just as menacing as snakes. The tentacles smoothly moved over Xenovia's foot and poked her ankle, as if it was testing her out and tasting her. Another tentacle rose into the air and poked her boob through her clothes, before yet another one poked her face.

Xenovia stayed completely still.

She kept her mouth shut, she did her best not to jump at the touches or be startled, and kept her breathing through her nose. She fought the urge to attack the tentacle, because she had learned from the last time.

This type of tentacle reacted to sounds and harsh movement.

'When me and Irina stopped moving, it wasn't long before the larger version of this thing stopped and let us go, before it died off. These things woke up due to our movements and voices, but they aren't sure if it should attack us yet.' Xenovia thought as the tentacles on her ankle and foot moved back and went under ground. The tentacles licking at her breast and face retreated as well, and she glanced over to Irina.

She let out the breath she was holding.

"Uuuuuuuuh... uuuuuuuh..." Irina made moaning noises as she tried to hold back her urge to shout out at the unpleasantness of what she was experiencing. Not because the feeling was bad, the feeling itself was quite pleasurable. The way the tentacle moved and wrapped around her boob, and squeezed it as it tested out if she was a person or not, the way it wrapped up her leg, and the way that the tip poked her lips.

Xenovia glared at her to stop making noises, since more tentacles were being attracted to Irina thanks to the noises she was making.

She got closer to Irina, and put her hand over her mouth to silence her. She pointed at the tentacles on the ground that started to close their eyes, since their eyes weren't that great and they relied more on movement and sound. It seemed their eyes could only be used to see something that was super close to them.

Irina's small noises were not helping.

It took another 20 minutes before the tentacles all went to sleep and Xenovia let go of a sweating Irina, who had been put under a lot of touching from the tentacles.

"Thank God that is over and the tentacles are asleep."

...

"I hate you." Xenovia stated as all of the flowers had their eyes snap open and focus on them. Irina had spoke in much more than a whisper. She made a break for front door, before she was blocked by a wall of tentacles that predicted her movements. She sliced through them like butter with her sword, and jumped back when a group of three tentacles came out from the ground and reached for her foot.

Okay, the tentacles were now fully aware they were there, and being silent wouldn't stop them from being butt-fucked this time.

"Sorry! I hate these things so much, and I'm not used to being silent!" Irina shouted out very loudly as she hacked at the tentacles. More came out of the ground around her thwn Xenovia, and the blue haired girl blinked.

*Spurt*

"Okay, these ones shoot fluid, be careful, they aren't exactly like the one at the beach." Xenovia dodged a glob of fluid that went flying at her. The tentacles shot the fluid from the holes at the tip of each tentacle, and she used the side of her sword to fling the fluid away from her where she couldn't dodge it.

The fluid landed, that she flung at least, on Irina's arm.

Her gloves started to melt away where the fluid touched, leaving her skin unharmed. She reached out and wiped the fluid off, but managed to melt away the glove that touched the fluid to wipe it as well.

"It melts CLOTHES!?"

"No, I think it melts anything that isn't a living person." Xenovia corrected when she saw the fluid also melt the grass on the ground. It was the same fluid that the tentacle at the beach shot... well inside of their rear ends. "... Okay, so these really are just mini-versions of the beach tentacle monster." Xenovia realized.

"GAH! It got me!"

"I'm coming Irina-"

"LALALALALA! Don't do that, don't come over here! Complete the mission, I'm going to keep it distracted by making a lot of noise! It won't be able to penetrate my butt if I clench hard enough will-" Irina started to scream at the top of her lungs to attract the tentacles to her and not Xenovia. The louder she was, the less likely they would be to target her partner after all. If past experience taught her anything, the tentacles were very simple creatures.

Butt clenching didn't help her.

Xenovia closed her eyes and looked away when Irina's face became completely deadpan when she got 4 inches of tentacle directly up her butt. She stopped what she was saying in the middle of her sentence from the sheer shock of it.

'Your sacrifice won't go in vain, my dear partner.' Xenovia turned away from Irina.

"-GET OUT OF THERE! Xenovia, this feels weird, I change my mind, save me! This feels really weird, and it's moving a LOT inside of my butt! XENOVIA, it's pumping goo up my butt! It feels really weird, and REALLY good, and I don't like the fact it feels good! No, NO, stay out of my-"

Irina's mouth got plugged by the time Xenovia got to the front door and opened it up, and she turned around to face Irina again and gave her a salute to honor her. With her hand over her heart, she bowed to her fallen partner.

-Inside (with Naruto)-

"Pork's pig blood, freshly taken and mixed together with crushed butterfly, crushed butterfly that was caught during the night of a new moon and dried under the hot sun." Naruto had taken blood from Pork the Pig, and he put it into the potion. He followed up by putting the crushed remains of the butterfly in it as well. "Okay... it says here... not to stir and let it sit and boil, while I add frozen cubes of lemon juice." Naruto went to the fridge and got his frozen cubes of lemon juice out, and started to add them to the potion.

The front door slammed shut.

...

"Oink!"

"Yep, that is not good for me... I'm not good at memory altering magic, I really hope that it isn't the home owners... and the potion is a greenish grey. It needs to be a greyish green, okay, so I can't exchange grape seeds for cherry pits." Naruto scratched his head when he realized that the color was slightly off.

There was a major difference between Greyish Green and Greenish Grey when it came to magic.

"Naruto Uzumaki!"

"Oh! It's Xenovia, thank god for small miracles, am I right Pork?" Naruto asked his experiment pig, who oinked out a response. "Hey, where is Irina?" Naruto tilted his head in confusion. He knew for a fact that the two girls were partners for missions, always. You wouldn't see one without the other. "... Did she..."

"No, she didn't die, but she is in the front yard being brutally fucked in the butt by those tentacle monsters-"

"Oh shit, they actually work!? That's awesome, I mean that kind of sucks for Irina, but my Tentacle Security System actually works!?" Naruto celebrated by jumping in the air. He had gone back to the beach to collect samples of his tentacle monster to make miniature clones of it, and he had not been able to test it yet. "Okay, you've got to tell me... did she seem like she was in pain, because I trained those tentacles to go after butts only. I put it into it's DNA to target butts, because they are designed to humiliate people." Naruto sat down and questioned Xenovia.

Naruto was completely relaxed.

Xenovia shook her head.

"No, she was shouting out it felt good, but very weird. And that..." Xenovia paused when she realized that Naruto's relaxed state had put her into a relaxed state as well. She quickly raised her sword and pointed it at Naruto. "-no, this is a serious matter. You need to stop making these freaky potions and monsters, and put your talents to use for the church already. You could be helping us do God's work." Xenovia rushed across the kitchen.

Naruto poured a bottle of blue slime on the floor, and it started to grow in size until it was about the size of a small bear. Her sword sank into the slime instead of Naruto, and when she tried to pull her sword out, she wasn't able to do it and it got stuck. She turned her standard issue light sword off and jumped back, turning it back on.

"Hey, this time I'm not doing anything perverted for a prank, I'm just trying to complete a potion my parents had been working on. If it works, I'll be able to cure any STD in the world... well almost any STD... but the potion is the wrong color." Naruto pointed at the potion.

"... and the pig?"

"Oh, humans share a lot of DNA and stuff with pigs and all. So, I was going to give him some of the same potion I gave to Dan-"

"-the Manphin?"

"Yeah, I recreated that potion and I was going to give it to Pork here. I need to make him even more humanoid, and then I'm going to get him to drink the other potion and his blood will become the cure." Naruto explained as he gestured to the baby pig. His plans were very simple, but he could get super rich if he created the cure to STDs.

Xenovia lowered her blade.

"... You're on a mission to help humanity?"

"Well, yes but no. I want to make a ton of mo..." Naruto paused. "Yes, yes I do want to help humanity." Naruto corrected himself, before he dug the hole he was in any deeper. He should just go along with what she thought, and leave his own desire to make tons of money out of it.

Xenovia jumped over the slime.

The slime extended and caught her by the foot, before she was dragged into the slime so that most of her body was stuck inside of it. Only her head and hands were free of the slime, and the slime itself started to quickly eat at her clothes.

"... So, what, this slime is only trained to go after butts as well-"

"Actually, you're about to get fucked unless I... moral issue with this aside. I kind of want to watch this, because this is an actual wild slime that I stored in a potion bottle. This would be a great chance for me to observe this." Naruto stated as her clothes were all gone.

The slime started to harden parts of the inside of it's body, and begun to try and arouse Xenovia by rubbing against her crotch. She turned a little pink in the face from the rubbing, and she glared down Naruto.

"Or you could save me from this slime, and I don't have to have sex with a slime nnng." Xenovia moaned when he started to more successfully find the spots that felt good on her body.

"Okay, I'll save you... if you and Irina STOP chasing after me." Naruto countered her, and put an offer down on the table.

"No, I will not abandon the mission, I don't care what happens to me if it means succeeding."

"You've got like... 10 seconds before you lose your virginity to a slime, and I will be honest with you... I will more than likely masturbate. You don't want to see that, and I don't want to have to do that. So I think we can find common ground-"

"I escaped, it was a baby tentacle and didn't have a lot of stamina!"

Irina, butt naked and dripping goo from her butt, shouted as she pointed her sword towards Naruto. She looked at Xenovia, before she rushed towards her and grabbed onto her hand. With all of her strength, Irina yanked Xenovia out of the slime that refused to give up on it's victim. It tried to hold onto Xenovia, but she swung her sword and started to slice into it without mercy.

Xenovia rolled across the ground and picked up her sword, sweating and panting as the effects of the slime started to show on her body.

"Lets find some common ground, I'm free now, and don't need to negotiate with you."

"I understand that, and since I don't see myself beating either of you in a fair fight-"

"You plan on surrendering, and I'm going to kick you in the nuts. Also, and more importantly, I will forget kicking you in the nuts if you have something that will stop my butt from leaking tentacle cum." Irina offered her own proposal to Naruto.

Naruto had a boner looking at these two girls.

"Oh, I actually do have something for that. I have a potion for that, and for... a small price I will sell it to you." Naruto offered them.

These girls were super hot, by the way.

"We're going to kick your ass and take it anyway, so I suggest that you hand it over."

...

"Fair point, very fair point." Naruto opened it book and a potion dropped out of the pages, and into his hands. Naruto crouched down behind the slime, and he tossed it across the room to Irina, who sent Naruto a suspicious look.

She paused.

"... What does this do exactly?"

"It just tightens up your butt again, and makes your body absorb the goo. It doesn't do anything bad, it just speeds up the way you recover. You don't have to take the potion, and you can just wait a day or two. Heck, the potion is so safe, if you don't believe me, you can feed some to Pork." Naruto pointed to Pork the Pig. Irina sent Naruto a suspicious look, before she walked over to the pig.

She poured a tiny amount of the potion onto the floor, and like a pig he started to lick up the potion, and she kept a close eye on the pig. Xenovia was smarter though and refused to take her eyes off of Naruto.

Nothing happened.

"Oh-"

Pork started to grow in size, and Naruto started to laugh.

"You fools, that was the potion that turned the dolphin into Dan the Manphin, you just turned that pig from Pork the Pig into Pork-"

When the potion was quickly done, before them stood a large figure.

Pork stood over 7 feet tall, with very thick, muscular arms and everything about him was far more humanoid and muscular. He looked down at the girls who were standing in front of him, and while he looked towards Naruto. Naruto finished putting the slime back into the bottle at this time, and he stood up and dusted himself off.

"-the Orc."

"Oh, ooooooh... oooooooooh... like Orcs. Pork the Orc, that's a pretty... apt nickname." Irina back away from Pork.

Pork was erect.

Pork was massive.

"Irina, why are you scared, there are two of us and we are both armed with swords." Xenovia jumped towards Pork, and stabbed her sword into his shoulder. Pork shouted out in pain and collapsed onto the ground, holding onto his shoulder and cradling it in pain. "See, it doesn't have any experience in battle either."

Naruto grabbed two smokebombs from his bag and threw them onto the ground, before he filled the entire kitchen with smoke.

"Gate"

-Later-

"It's okay baby, daddy is here for you. Those mean girls are here to hurt you anymore, it's okay Pork." Naruto comforted his crying orc. He adopted this pig to experiment on it, but it was still just a baby pig after all on the inside. It had no innate battle skills until it was trained up, and it needed his love and care to grow into a big and strong orc.

Pork snorted and cried on Naruto's shoulder, curling up into a ball.

Naruto looked at his broken Gate Orb, and sighed in annoyance, since he only had one of those, and making more would take more money than he could afford to spend. Still, it was worth it to escape with his dear Pork.

"Ruuuh... ruuuuh... Da... Da... Daddy."

"Yes, I'm your papa, you're going to be okay. See, your wound is all gone now, daddy's potion fixed you right up." Naruto stated as he rubbed Pork's shoulder where he had been injured. Pork looked at his own shoulder, before he started to stand up. He looked around, and he noticed that they were in a forest. "Okay Pork, you-"

Pork started to transform back into a regular baby pig, shrinking in size until he returned back to normal, and Naruto put his finger to his lip.

Okay, so without Holy Water, the potion was incomplete, he forgot to add the Holy Water to the potion, or maybe it was the demonic power infused into the dolphin that made the transformation last. Either way, Pork the Orc was once more Pork the Pig and went over to Naruto and snuggled up to him.

-With Xenovia/Irina-

"We failed... AGAIN, we had him this time-"

"Well, at least he DID leave behind a potion that made my butthole better. I figured he wouldn't leave behind another potion that was a lie." Irina started to get dressed in the spare clothes that she brought, since she figured something would happen since Naruto was involved.

She and Xenovia had to get dressed and ready before they went back to the church and reported that they failed to get Naruto again.

What does he want with a tiny pig?"

"I have no clue, but his guard might not be down yet. We need to be careful to not get trapped again." Irina stated as she looked at Naruto carrying a baby pig. At this point, they knew that they should suspect something from him that would not end up quite right. Now they were on an official mission to capture Naruto again.

9 days later, after they went to England to exterminate a rogue ghoul causing some trouble there, and their butts had fully recovered from the tentacles. They recovered from the tentacle thing after the first day, but they couldn't go after Naruto without it being a direct order. Their orders were very simple when it came to Naruto.

They were to go after Naruto, but only when they didn't have another mission to take care of, and they weren't allowed to use lethal force against Naruto since what he was doing wasn't lethal. There had also yet to be any victims of his cross-breeding experients with tentacle plants, and Naruto had yet to complete a tentacle plant hybrid that lasted more than a few hours in it's activated state.

"Little piggy, you're going to be a big piggy one day. Glad I spent all that money to get you." Naruto chanted to himself as he sang. He managed to find the perfectly bred pig for his experiement, he went to farm after farm to find a white pig with no spots or any other colors. "An American Yorkshire, it HAD to be that or it just wouldn't work." Naruto hummed as he fed the pig he was holding under his arm carrots.

The pig was very small due to it's young age.

Slung over his shoulder and tied to his neck was a list of ingredients that he had... borrowed of course from the local Mage School. They didn't need to know if some of their magical ingredients went missing, and he was sure that he might pay them back for it... some day.

Maybe.

Okay, he wasn't going to return anything he borrowed, because it was REALLY hard to get Boomslang venom. He didn't fuck with snakes if he could help it, so he usually had to use what little money he had to get somebody else to do it for him. He was better at dealing with Toads and Slugs, other common magical ingredients, than he was with Snakes.

"Oink oink."

"I could call you... Pork... your name is now Pork." Naruto grinned at his own funny name. The name had been chosen for a multitude of reasons. "Lets see what we can do, I'm pretty sure I've got everything the notes said I needed... though the potion does need some modifications. Meh, I'm sure I can use cherry pits instead of grape seeds." Naruto hadn't been able to get what he needed there, but he was sure he found a good substitute.

Naruto entered a house.

Yes, a house, since the current residents were away on vacation, he took the time to set up his base in the house. He would put it back the way he found it when he left for sure, and they would be back in 4 days, so he had more than enough time to do at least 1 or 2 different experients with his Pork, and hopefully he would be able to finish what he planned on working on.

The potion base should be about ready.

"Oh! Better set up my defenses, don't want anyone interrupting me." Naruto tossed a couple of sets around the front yard, and he took out a potion and started to spray it around the grass. With that done, he entered the house. "I should NOT forget to collect those when I leave." Naruto stated as close to 100 tiny flower buds started to grow out of the grass.

With the door closed behind him, Naruto went towards the kitchen where he had a potion boiling over the electric stove. Putting Pork in a box he couldn't get out of, Naruto started to unpack his ingredients that he would be using.

The potion was clear and bubbling.

Good.

-Outside-

"Okay Xenovia, I saw him throw something across the ground... we should be careful and watch out step." Irina drew her sword and prepared for a fight. She looked across the yard and she saw nearly 100 flowers with pink and purple petals, and the center of the flower seemed to be more eyeball shaped in appearance.

It even blinked when it looked at her.

"Irina... don't... move." Xenovia stated when she noticed it to, and she raised her sword up. "These are the same type of tentacle ast he beach... just smaller." Xenovia whispered as the hundred flower eyes started to look towards her and Irina.

Irina's ass clenched tight.

"Can we fail this mission?" Irina pleaded with Xenovia, since she was not really looking forward to the idea of getting surprise anal again. Her butt might not hurt anymore, but she was still pretty butthurt about what happened on the beach. It was super humiliating for her and Xenovia to empty themselves out of tentacle goo on the beach before they were forced to take a cab back to the church.

They were NOT in a condition to walk straight after that night.

"No, we can't retreat. As long as we don't get caught, we will be fine. Careful, be careful and don't make any sudden movements or loud noises." Xenovia knew that it was the fighting and loud noises of the fight with the stray devil that had woke up the Tentacle Plant last time. These ones were smaller

A couple of smaller tentacles started to come out of the ground like slithering snakes, and for the girls with recent experience with this type of tentacle, they were just as menacing as snakes. The tentacles smoothly moved over Xenovia's foot and poked her ankle, as if it was testing her out and tasting her. Another tentacle rose into the air and poked her boob through her clothes, before yet another one poked her face.

Xenovia stayed completely still.

She kept her mouth shut, she did her best not to jump at the touches or be startled, and kept her breathing through her nose. She fought the urge to attack the tentacle, because she had learned from the last time.

This type of tentacle reacted to sounds and harsh movement.

'When me and Irina stopped moving, it wasn't long before the larger version of this thing stopped and let us go, before it died off. These things woke up due to our movements and voices, but they aren't sure if it should attack us yet.' Xenovia thought as the tentacles on her ankle and foot moved back and went under ground. The tentacles licking at her breast and face retreated as well, and she glanced over to Irina.

She let out the breath she was holding.

"Uuuuuuuuh... uuuuuuuh..." Irina made moaning noises as she tried to hold back her urge to shout out at the unpleasantness of what she was experiencing. Not because the feeling was bad, the feeling itself was quite pleasurable. The way the tentacle moved and wrapped around her boob, and squeezed it as it tested out if she was a person or not, the way it wrapped up her leg, and the way that the tip poked her lips.

Xenovia glared at her to stop making noises, since more tentacles were being attracted to Irina thanks to the noises she was making.

She got closer to Irina, and put her hand over her mouth to silence her. She pointed at the tentacles on the ground that started to close their eyes, since their eyes weren't that great and they relied more on movement and sound. It seemed their eyes could only be used to see something that was super close to them.

Irina's small noises were not helping.

It took another 20 minutes before the tentacles all went to sleep and Xenovia let go of a sweating Irina, who had been put under a lot of touching from the tentacles.

"Thank God that is over and the tentacles are asleep."

...

"I hate you." Xenovia stated as all of the flowers had their eyes snap open and focus on them. Irina had spoke in much more than a whisper. She made a break for front door, before she was blocked by a wall of tentacles that predicted her movements. She sliced through them like butter with her sword, and jumped back when a group of three tentacles came out from the ground and reached for her foot.

Okay, the tentacles were now fully aware they were there, and being silent wouldn't stop them from being butt-fucked this time.

"Sorry! I hate these things so much, and I'm not used to being silent!" Irina shouted out very loudly as she hacked at the tentacles. More came out of the ground around her thwn Xenovia, and the blue haired girl blinked.

*Spurt*

"Okay, these ones shoot fluid, be careful, they aren't exactly like the one at the beach." Xenovia dodged a glob of fluid that went flying at her. The tentacles shot the fluid from the holes at the tip of each tentacle, and she used the side of her sword to fling the fluid away from her where she couldn't dodge it.

The fluid landed, that she flung at least, on Irina's arm.

Her gloves started to melt away where the fluid touched, leaving her skin unharmed. She reached out and wiped the fluid off, but managed to melt away the glove that touched the fluid to wipe it as well.

"It melts CLOTHES!?"

"No, I think it melts anything that isn't a living person." Xenovia corrected when she saw the fluid also melt the grass on the ground. It was the same fluid that the tentacle at the beach shot... well inside of their rear ends. "... Okay, so these really are just mini-versions of the beach tentacle monster." Xenovia realized.

"GAH! It got me!"

"I'm coming Irina-"

"LALALALALA! Don't do that, don't come over here! Complete the mission, I'm going to keep it distracted by making a lot of noise! It won't be able to penetrate my butt if I clench hard enough will-" Irina started to scream at the top of her lungs to attract the tentacles to her and not Xenovia. The louder she was, the less likely they would be to target her partner after all. If past experience taught her anything, the tentacles were very simple creatures.

Butt clenching didn't help her.

Xenovia closed her eyes and looked away when Irina's face became completely deadpan when she got 4 inches of tentacle directly up her butt. She stopped what she was saying in the middle of her sentence from the sheer shock of it.

'Your sacrifice won't go in vain, my dear partner.' Xenovia turned away from Irina.

"-GET OUT OF THERE! Xenovia, this feels weird, I change my mind, save me! This feels really weird, and it's moving a LOT inside of my butt! XENOVIA, it's pumping goo up my butt! It feels really weird, and REALLY good, and I don't like the fact it feels good! No, NO, stay out of my-"

Irina's mouth got plugged by the time Xenovia got to the front door and opened it up, and she turned around to face Irina again and gave her a salute to honor her. With her hand over her heart, she bowed to her fallen partner.

-Inside (with Naruto)-

"Pork's pig blood, freshly taken and mixed together with crushed butterfly, crushed butterfly that was caught during the night of a new moon and dried under the hot sun." Naruto had taken blood from Pork the Pig, and he put it into the potion. He followed up by putting the crushed remains of the butterfly in it as well. "Okay... it says here... not to stir and let it sit and boil, while I add frozen cubes of lemon juice." Naruto went to the fridge and got his frozen cubes of lemon juice out, and started to add them to the potion.

The front door slammed shut.

...

"Oink!"

"Yep, that is not good for me... I'm not good at memory altering magic, I really hope that it isn't the home owners... and the potion is a greenish grey. It needs to be a greyish green, okay, so I can't exchange grape seeds for cherry pits." Naruto scratched his head when he realized that the color was slightly off.

There was a major difference between Greyish Green and Greenish Grey when it came to magic.

"Naruto Uzumaki!"

"Oh! It's Xenovia, thank god for small miracles, am I right Pork?" Naruto asked his experiment pig, who oinked out a response. "Hey, where is Irina?" Naruto tilted his head in confusion. He knew for a fact that the two girls were partners for missions, always. You wouldn't see one without the other. "... Did she..."

"No, she didn't die, but she is in the front yard being brutally fucked in the butt by those tentacle monsters-"

"Oh shit, they actually work!? That's awesome, I mean that kind of sucks for Irina, but my Tentacle Security System actually works!?" Naruto celebrated by jumping in the air. He had gone back to the beach to collect samples of his tentacle monster to make miniature clones of it, and he had not been able to test it yet. "Okay, you've got to tell me... did she seem like she was in pain, because I trained those tentacles to go after butts only. I put it into it's DNA to target butts, because they are designed to humiliate people." Naruto sat down and questioned Xenovia.

Naruto was completely relaxed.

Xenovia shook her head.

"No, she was shouting out it felt good, but very weird. And that..." Xenovia paused when she realized that Naruto's relaxed state had put her into a relaxed state as well. She quickly raised her sword and pointed it at Naruto. "-no, this is a serious matter. You need to stop making these freaky potions and monsters, and put your talents to use for the church already. You could be helping us do God's work." Xenovia rushed across the kitchen.

Naruto poured a bottle of blue slime on the floor, and it started to grow in size until it was about the size of a small bear. Her sword sank into the slime instead of Naruto, and when she tried to pull her sword out, she wasn't able to do it and it got stuck. She turned her standard issue light sword off and jumped back, turning it back on.

"Hey, this time I'm not doing anything perverted for a prank, I'm just trying to complete a potion my parents had been working on. If it works, I'll be able to cure any STD in the world... well almost any STD... but the potion is the wrong color." Naruto pointed at the potion.

"... and the pig?"

"Oh, humans share a lot of DNA and stuff with pigs and all. So, I was going to give him some of the same potion I gave to Dan-"

"-the Manphin?"

"Yeah, I recreated that potion and I was going to give it to Pork here. I need to make him even more humanoid, and then I'm going to get him to drink the other potion and his blood will become the cure." Naruto explained as he gestured to the baby pig. His plans were very simple, but he could get super rich if he created the cure to STDs.

Xenovia lowered her blade.

"... You're on a mission to help humanity?"

"Well, yes but no. I want to make a ton of mo..." Naruto paused. "Yes, yes I do want to help humanity." Naruto corrected himself, before he dug the hole he was in any deeper. He should just go along with what she thought, and leave his own desire to make tons of money out of it.

Xenovia jumped over the slime.

The slime extended and caught her by the foot, before she was dragged into the slime so that most of her body was stuck inside of it. Only her head and hands were free of the slime, and the slime itself started to quickly eat at her clothes.

"... So, what, this slime is only trained to go after butts as well-"

"Actually, you're about to get fucked unless I... moral issue with this aside. I kind of want to watch this, because this is an actual wild slime that I stored in a potion bottle. This would be a great chance for me to observe this." Naruto stated as her clothes were all gone.

The slime started to harden parts of the inside of it's body, and begun to try and arouse Xenovia by rubbing against her crotch. She turned a little pink in the face from the rubbing, and she glared down Naruto.

"Or you could save me from this slime, and I don't have to have sex with a slime nnng." Xenovia moaned when he started to more successfully find the spots that felt good on her body.

"Okay, I'll save you... if you and Irina STOP chasing after me." Naruto countered her, and put an offer down on the table.

"No, I will not abandon the mission, I don't care what happens to me if it means succeeding."

"You've got like... 10 seconds before you lose your virginity to a slime, and I will be honest with you... I will more than likely masturbate. You don't want to see that, and I don't want to have to do that. So I think we can find common ground-"

"I escaped, it was a baby tentacle and didn't have a lot of stamina!"

Irina, butt naked and dripping goo from her butt, shouted as she pointed her sword towards Naruto. She looked at Xenovia, before she rushed towards her and grabbed onto her hand. With all of her strength, Irina yanked Xenovia out of the slime that refused to give up on it's victim. It tried to hold onto Xenovia, but she swung her sword and started to slice into it without mercy.

Xenovia rolled across the ground and picked up her sword, sweating and panting as the effects of the slime started to show on her body.

"Lets find some common ground, I'm free now, and don't need to negotiate with you."

"I understand that, and since I don't see myself beating either of you in a fair fight-"

"You plan on surrendering, and I'm going to kick you in the nuts. Also, and more importantly, I will forget kicking you in the nuts if you have something that will stop my butt from leaking tentacle cum." Irina offered her own proposal to Naruto.

Naruto had a boner looking at these two girls.

"Oh, I actually do have something for that. I have a potion for that, and for... a small price I will sell it to you." Naruto offered them.

These girls were super hot, by the way.

"We're going to kick your ass and take it anyway, so I suggest that you hand it over."

...

"Fair point, very fair point." Naruto opened it book and a potion dropped out of the pages, and into his hands. Naruto crouched down behind the slime, and he tossed it across the room to Irina, who sent Naruto a suspicious look.

She paused.

"... What does this do exactly?"

"It just tightens up your butt again, and makes your body absorb the goo. It doesn't do anything bad, it just speeds up the way you recover. You don't have to take the potion, and you can just wait a day or two. Heck, the potion is so safe, if you don't believe me, you can feed some to Pork." Naruto pointed to Pork the Pig. Irina sent Naruto a suspicious look, before she walked over to the pig.

She poured a tiny amount of the potion onto the floor, and like a pig he started to lick up the potion, and she kept a close eye on the pig. Xenovia was smarter though and refused to take her eyes off of Naruto.

Nothing happened.

"Oh-"

Pork started to grow in size, and Naruto started to laugh.

"You fools, that was the potion that turned the dolphin into Dan the Manphin, you just turned that pig from Pork the Pig into Pork-"

When the potion was quickly done, before them stood a large figure.

Pork stood over 7 feet tall, with very thick, muscular arms and everything about him was far more humanoid and muscular. He looked down at the girls who were standing in front of him, and while he looked towards Naruto. Naruto finished putting the slime back into the bottle at this time, and he stood up and dusted himself off.

"-the Orc."

"Oh, ooooooh... oooooooooh... like Orcs. Pork the Orc, that's a pretty... apt nickname." Irina back away from Pork.

Pork was erect.

Pork was massive.

"Irina, why are you scared, there are two of us and we are both armed with swords." Xenovia jumped towards Pork, and stabbed her sword into his shoulder. Pork shouted out in pain and collapsed onto the ground, holding onto his shoulder and cradling it in pain. "See, it doesn't have any experience in battle either."

Naruto grabbed two smokebombs from his bag and threw them onto the ground, before he filled the entire kitchen with smoke.

"Gate"

-Later-

"It's okay baby, daddy is here for you. Those mean girls are here to hurt you anymore, it's okay Pork." Naruto comforted his crying orc. He adopted this pig to experiment on it, but it was still just a baby pig after all on the inside. It had no innate battle skills until it was trained up, and it needed his love and care to grow into a big and strong orc.

Pork snorted and cried on Naruto's shoulder, curling up into a ball.

Naruto looked at his broken Gate Orb, and sighed in annoyance, since he only had one of those, and making more would take more money than he could afford to spend. Still, it was worth it to escape with his dear Pork.

"Ruuuh... ruuuuh... Da... Da... Daddy."

"Yes, I'm your papa, you're going to be okay. See, your wound is all gone now, daddy's potion fixed you right up." Naruto stated as he rubbed Pork's shoulder where he had been injured. Pork looked at his own shoulder, before he started to stand up. He looked around, and he noticed that they were in a forest. "Okay Pork, you-"

Pork started to transform back into a regular baby pig, shrinking in size until he returned back to normal, and Naruto put his finger to his lip.

Okay, so without Holy Water, the potion was incomplete, he forgot to add the Holy Water to the potion, or maybe it was the demonic power infused into the dolphin that made the transformation last. Either way, Pork the Orc was once more Pork the Pig and went over to Naruto and snuggled up to him.

-With Xenovia/Irina-

"We failed... AGAIN, we had him this time-"

"Well, at least he DID leave behind a potion that made my butthole better. I figured he wouldn't leave behind another potion that was a lie." Irina started to get dressed in the spare clothes that she brought, since she figured something would happen since Naruto was involved.

She and Xenovia had to get dressed and ready before they went back to the church and reported that they failed to get Naruto again.