I Don’t Want to Be a Heroic Spirit

Jeanne d'Arc was not someone who relished combat. If possible, she always preferred to resolve issues peacefully. Thus, she had no reason to reject the goodwill Artoria was showing her.

As they spoke, Artoria began sizing up the saint before her.

Another "Artoria-face," but Jeanne's… scale was noticeably larger than Artoria's—though she was referring to her Saber form, of course.

Artoria recalled that this Holy Grail War was unusual because the previous Ruler, Amakusa Shirou Tokisada, hadn't disappeared after the last war. Instead, he had inserted himself into this one, resulting in Jeanne's incomplete summoning. She was forced to manifest by possessing a young girl named Laeticia.

There was even a theory Artoria had heard before: Jeanne's affection for Sieg wasn't entirely her own—it was Laeticia's emotions bleeding through.

Unlike Amakusa, Jeanne didn't forcibly take over Laeticia's body. Compassionate as she was, Jeanne would never resort to such inhumane measures. She only coexisted with Laeticia after obtaining her permission, which was worlds apart from the twisted parasitism of Sukuna or Geto.

At the moment, it was clearly Jeanne in control. Laeticia, an ordinary high school girl, wouldn't have had the courage to approach so directly.

Not long after, Kairi Sisigou arrived.

"What's going on? You call me over but don't explain anything?" he grumbled, though his hands worked quickly. "I've set up a bounded field. Whatever we discuss won't be overheard."

"Thank you. This conversation shouldn't take too long, so there's no need to find somewhere to sit down…"

"Grrrr~~~"

Everyone froze at the sound of an oddly loud stomach growl.

Kairi instinctively turned toward Mordred, whose face flushed slightly red.

"What's that look for? I'm a Servant, remember? Servants don't get hungry—let alone make noises like that!" she snapped.

"N-no, that's not what I meant…"

The sight of Mordred raising her fist made Kairi take a step back. He'd already suffered a punch that morning, one that shattered his beloved sunglasses, and his face still hurt even after a whole day.

Wait a second—so you do know Servants don't get hungry? Then why are you always complaining about it?!

"I feel like you're silently badmouthing me… Are you, Master?"

"!!!"

"You are! Damn it, I'll blow you away!"

Ignoring the comedic antics of the pair, Artoria turned her attention to Jeanne, who was clutching her stomach, her face red to the tips of her ears.

"Well… actually…" Jeanne looked on the verge of tears.

"…Forget it. Let's find somewhere to eat first. Do you have any dietary restrictions?"

Jeanne had been on her way to buy dinner when she spotted Artoria and Mordred. She'd been so focused on approaching them that she'd completely forgotten about her original plan.

This is so embarrassing…

---

They quickly found a place to eat. All four were seasoned individuals accustomed to the hardships of the battlefield. While they had personal preferences, none were particularly picky.

After all, being fussy about food was a luxury they couldn't afford.

…Wait. Now that I think about it, haven't three of us already died once?

Never mind. Let's not dwell on the details. People who obsess over details rarely find a partner anyway.

"Well then, let's start with introductions," Artoria said, her commanding presence filling the room as if it were her domain.

"These two are Red Saber and her Master. I assume you already know that. As for myself…"

Artoria paused deliberately, watching Jeanne's reaction before continuing, "…I am the Ruler of this Holy Grail War."

"Don't rush to deny it. As a fellow Ruler, you should be able to verify my information. This is more convincing than any other proof. After all, while Noble Phantasms can hide information from a Ruler's sight, they can't alter it. Isn't that right?"

"But…"

Jeanne furrowed her brow, her gaze locked onto Artoria.

"I understand what you're about to say. A Holy Grail War should have only one Ruler. As for me… the explanation is complicated, but please believe me when I say my existence is legitimate. It doesn't interfere with the Grail War's proceedings."

"If you still can't accept that… then think of it this way: my role is to assist and supervise you. Due to irregularities in the previous war, where the Ruler violated several rules, the Grail system no longer fully trusts the role of Ruler. That's why there are two of us this time—to balance and supervise each other."

Locking eyes with Jeanne, Artoria continued, her tone serious, "Does that explanation help you understand?"

"No! Absolutely not!"

The unexpected outburst didn't come from Jeanne—it came from Mordred, who had been quietly sitting on the side until now.

"Why should someone as great as my Father be reduced to assisting some stodgy, boring country bumpkin?!"

"Stodgy… boring?!"

"And what's more, who are you to stand on the same level as my Father?! What gives you the right to share the same title?!"

Upon hearing that Artoria was also a Ruler, Mordred had felt it was only natural.

To her, Artoria was the epitome of justice, perfection, and nobility. Although she had always imagined her Father as the most powerful Saber, learning about the special Ruler class now made perfect sense.

Exactly! Even Saber isn't good enough for my Father. Only Ruler can barely do her justice. The Grail has great taste!

But now, there was a second Ruler—a plain-looking country girl at that.

Does that mean her Father was being ranked alongside a country bumpkin?

Ridiculous!

At that moment, Mordred had conveniently forgotten about the other Ruler, Amakusa Shirou Tokisada.

But in fairness, Mordred had found him so beneath her notice that she'd erased him from her memory. Back then, her mind had been preoccupied with figuring out how to interact with this unfamiliar version of her Father.

---

Oh? You're still here? Wow. Either you really enjoy my company, or you scrolled too fast and forgot to close the tab. Either way—respect.

Now, since I have your attention, let's talk business. Web fluid, coffee, replacement suits—being me isn't cheap. And last I checked, saving the world doesn't come with a salary. Tragic, I know.

But you can make a difference! By supporting [patreon.com/WiseTL], you're not just helping a poor, overworked Spider-Man—you're securing front-row seats to even more chaos, bad jokes, and possibly a few existential crises.

So go on, be a hero. Support the cause. And who knows? Maybe I'll name my next web trick after you. (Probably not, but hey, worth a shot.)

Stay cool, don't trust bald telepaths, and always double-check your web cartridges.

— Xia Luo 🕷️