I Became a Burden to the Conscienceless Party

Evidence of overturning heaven.
The field, cratered as if a meteorite had fallen, seemed to represent the Celestial Order.
Yes, like the Celestial Order that had been hollowed out after losing the most important thing.
Such a bitter and lonely place.
Saint Irina disliked that place.
But knowing she shouldn’t turn away from it, she always offered prayers of apology there.
She was about to do so this time as well.
Her personal confession. Repeating regret and repentance in a wide-open world where no one is listening.

“Talk?”

She had lost too much blood.
Her head was hazy.
It felt like she was dreaming.
A bitter laugh escaped her. The end she had been picturing was distorted.
She had thought she would die alone, confessing her sins to God.
But now she wasn’t alone, was she?
But it didn’t feel bad.
The trace of the Celestial God she had been thinking of.
A miracle born from the impossible. That’s what Jim was.
Even though she now knows it’s fake, Irina was so miserably distorted that even that didn’t matter.

“What kind of talk?”

Irina smiled broadly.
The situation was out of place and her physical condition was at its worst, but for some reason, she felt like smiling.
It might be because the being in front of her was proof that miracles existed.
It might be because he was the existence she wanted to cling to, even if just for a moment.
Irina felt as if she was looking at a naive younger sibling.
And that feeling was shattered when.

“Well. How about a talk about miracles and perspectives?”
“…”

It was the moment when the being in front of her touched on her long-held concerns.
Ah, so it’s not a simple end.
Even in the last moment, the contradiction I embraced is holding me back.
Irina smiled bitterly and started to shed tears.

“Then, Mr. Jim, let me ask you again. Are there miracles in this world?”
“Yes, there are.”
“What if it’s a coincidence that looks like that?”

At this place for the first time.
They have the conversation they had for the first time.

“What if it’s not a miracle that overturns the impossible, but just finding a way out of something that was possible from the beginning?”
“Then I would say that regaining that way out is a miracle.”

But it was different from then.
A conversation they’ve already had once. There was no surprise, no disappointment.
Yes, this is a conversation about perspective.
The moment of taking time to think about the same conversation from different directions.

“Even if it’s a coincidence, if it’s something that makes you momentarily think a miracle has occurred, it must have been an ingenious idea that I originally wouldn’t have thought of.”

Words that shook her heart for a moment. But now they don’t shake her.
Because the words that followed overturned their foundation.
But…

“Because even in the place where the Celestial God was supposedly pulled down, flowers still bloomed.”

This time was different.
Jim forcibly placed the flower he had held out to Irina into her hand.

“The place where the Celestial God was pulled down, the Celestial Order’s shame. But even in such a place, flowers have bloomed like this.”
“It’s proof that the world, that people are forgetting the Celestial God.”
“No.”

The field, cratered as if a meteorite had fallen in the past. But wind blew, flower seeds flew in, and even such a place began to fill up and bloom again.
Like new flesh growing on a wound.

“Even in such a profane and denied place, flowers have bloomed. If that’s not a miracle, what is?”
“That’s a coincidence. It was something that could easily happen. Even if it’s called a shame, that’s just a symbol. This place is just a piece of land after all, and it’s not strange for plants to grow in such a place. No, perhaps they grew even better because traces of the Celestial God remained.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
“Then, Saint. Let me ask you.”

Whoosh!
Blue flames sprout. They brighten the surroundings as if driving away the night.
Those flames don’t burn anything, just increase in size.

“The Celestial God who creates miracles was pulled down by mere humans. Is that a miracle? Or a coincidence?”

The Celestial God left.
That’s an undeniable fact.

“If what we thought was impossible is trivial and simple for the Celestial God, is that a miracle for him? Or a coincidence?”

His influence disappeared.
That too is an undeniable fact.

“If a mere country girl who became the hero takes up a sword and defeats the Demon King, is that a miracle? Or a coincidence?”

But miracles exist in this world. Even if they look like coincidences that are likely to happen.

“My meeting with you.”

That’s up to the person receiving it.
A perspective that can never be asserted in relationships between people.

“Was it a miracle to you? Or a coincidence?”
“…”
“Then, if by any chance the Celestial God forgives humans, is that a miracle? Or a coincidence?”

The Celestial God forgiving humans.
That’s neither a miracle nor a coincidence.
“How would you judge that?”
It’s just a choice.
But for the person receiving it, it will be like a miracle.
Irina realized as she thought of such things.

“…So it was my choice.”

There are no miracles in this world.
It became a world where miracles can’t occur because the Celestial God disappeared.
But miracles existed.
If someone calls it a miracle, it surely must be a miracle.
Because what looked possible from someone’s perspective might have been impossible for that person.
There were no perfect miracles in this world. Just a being who could do more than others disappeared.
Yes, the Celestial God was not omnipotent. He was pulled down by mere human hands, and what we thought was impossible was just possible for him.

“Then, Saint.”

Jim smiled. He showed a gentle smile never seen before.
It looked like an ascetic who had realized the principles of this world, and also like a teacher teaching a child.
And sometimes like a fool who doesn’t know what’s ahead.

“For you who waited for a miracle, there’s something I want to show you.”

Blue flames dance.
The flames that engulfed the two grow even larger.
Eventually, the flames rose high enough to burn even the sky.

“If a blue sky spreads at night, is that a miracle? Or a coincidence?”

Blue flames drive away the darkness.
Blue flames that swallowed the sky shine as blue as broad daylight.
Irina, enveloped in flames, felt warmth rather than heat.

“How do you want to think about it?”

For Jim, it’s a choice.
But for the many people who will look up at that sky…

“Yes, it’s like a miracle.”

Irina smiled broadly.
The blue sky that she and the Celestial Order had lost was there.
Thinking that this is what she’s seeing in her last moments, there couldn’t be a more beautiful sight.
Irina started to stagger.
After pouring all the power she should have used to heal herself into Esmeralda. She had come here choosing a place to die in the first place.
For such a person to see this miracle in her last moments.

“It’s a miracle too beautiful for someone like me.”

Irina shed tears again. Because she doubted if she deserved to enjoy such happiness.
Because she was that happy.
Thinking that it might be okay to be happy at least in the last moment.
Irina sat down like that.
But Jim, looking at Irina’s appearance, firmly declared.

“Then, next time, don’t wait for miracles, find them.”

In the past, the place where the Celestial God fell.
“If your mindset changes, your perspective changes too.”
Now, beautiful wildflowers were in full bloom there.

Esmeralda despised herself for ultimately failing to save Irina.
She had talked big but failed. Actually, the proportion of embarrassment was higher than contempt.
And to think that after being beaten up and fainting like that, she could open her eyes again now.
This can only be thought of as Irina showing mercy to her.

‘More than that, where is this?’

After ruminating on her regrets with a blank face for a while, Esmeralda finally looked around her surroundings.
A hospital room with an overall white color scheme.
It didn’t seem much different from where she was first held, but there was a decisive difference.
That was the absence of iron bars on the window.
In other words, it means Irina has withdrawn her plan to make her into a holy relic.

‘Then this is…’

As Esmeralda was about to finish grasping the current situation.

“Mr. Jim, try eating this. Come on, say ah.”
“No, I don’t have an appetite… For some reason, my memory of last night is vague, it seems this place has bad feng shui…”
“Is that so? Then should we use holy magic to examine your body internally?”
“Now that I look at it, it seems delicious. I’ll enjoy it.”
“Yes, aahn.”

She could see Jim and Irina acting up in the bed next to hers.

“Is this hell…”

It felt like seeing something she shouldn’t have.
Esmeralda sighed as she watched the antics of the two people. No, one person and one demon.
Given that they both had the common point of being bastards, there was a high probability this was hell.

“Ah, Hero. You’ve finally opened your eyes. We were worried because you’ve been sleeping ever since arriving at the Papal State.”
“Ever since…?”
“Yes, ever since.”

[Note: She’s thinking you should act according to the situation.]

Ever since, my foot.
Esmeralda gritted her teeth.
The woman who had captured her and even hit her face with a morningstar is now acting as if nothing had happened.

‘Does this crazy woman have no conscience?’

After doing such things, does she intend to return as a comrade?
It was already strange that Jim said his memory of last night was hazy. This crazy woman might have tampered with his head.

“Ah, Hero. And these are support items from the Celestial Order for you. Please accept them.”
[Note: She’s thinking this will make you forgive her.]
“Ahaha! I must have been dreaming last night, but I can’t remember what kind of dream it was.”
“Oh my, you might be weak, so I’ll prepare some additional potions.”
“Yeah, thanks! Irina.”

But when various elixirs and pouches of gold coins appeared before her eyes, she couldn’t remember anything.
Considering the scale of the Celestial Order, it’s not a huge amount of money, but for the country girl Esmeralda, it’s an unprecedented sum.
She had been sleeping ever since arriving at the Papal State.
That’s what they decided.

‘Well, I suppose material things are more certain than verbal apologies.’

It seems she wasn’t completely without conscience.
And so, the two conducted a secret transaction.