Emptiness - Naruto SI

All good jokes contain true shit

So when I found out about "survival" seals I blew it

The top came off, the screams popped off

But I still raged like a bull pissed off

_

Ironically, the 4th year passed without incident as Neji and I became the respective 1 and 2 in class, he was still thrashing me with ease, and I no longer hid my attitude toward the white-eyed fuckers this time around.

Hinata and Hanabi are great...everyone else just pissed me off, including Hizashi who chose to sacrifice himself. YOU DIE BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN 5 MINUTES LATER AND LITTERALLY SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR YOUR SHITTY UNGRATEFUL BROTHER, who then goes on to treat your son like trash and not tell him the truth until he finds it convenient to do so and leave poor Neji to become a piece of shit and take it out on the rest of us.

What a fucking rant. Anyways, just as I finished creating my water storage seals, at the beginning of the 5th year we find out about survival seals that seal water and food into small bags and I, after working for a year, slam the table in rage, yell out like Tarzan, and get called to the principal's office. The matter became so weird that even Lord 3rd dropped by to See.

Upon hearing what happened Lord 3rd broke into a laughing fit that almost broke his back but understood and said his old sensei used to be the same way when it came to seals. He even decided to reward me with Mito Uzamaki and his sensei's old notes on building Fuinjutsu languages from scratch, citing it would be great for the Leaf to gain a Seal-Master as the Art itself has died out.

I also got to ask him about a blacksmith, citing my desire to wear knuckles like his son, but before I could ask him to buy me chakra enhanced ones as a potential reward for Seal-mastery, he vanished like the wind as shamelessly as he intruded upon my bull-headed moment.

Thank god, I'm too public to be kidnapped into ROOT otherwise I'd be cursing this old-monkey's name from the grave whenever I would wake up.

Overall this 5th year was intensely competed with against Neji, but ultimately, with all of his extra Taijutsu training, which I secretly suspect is Chunin-level at this point, I only win a few spars against Neji, and that was when weapons were allowed and I could pester him at range.

Surprisingly, or perhaps "expected" for some, Neji and I get called up to graduate early. While Neji in his smugness accepted in a heartbeat, I hesitantly state that I don't feel like I'm Ready and that Neji and I wouldn't be a good fit for a team.

While the 3rd Hokage and Danzo looks like they're getting Ready to argue, Neji injects with a "I'll only graduate if Ebizo does so he doesn't get Rookie of the Year", to which I gape open-mouthily at, scream "FUCK YOU PRETTY BOY" and pointedly lunge at him like the childish, grown man in a kid's body that I am that's far too temperamental to calm down.

After I threw the first couple punches, I was wise enough to realize that I should stop since we're in front of the Hokage, but powered through anyways because I was pissed and got a few knicks because of it and a broken shin after being kicked out of the Hokage's room of summons.

After I calmed down, I realized my stupidly and could only leave it up to the Gods to decide my fate.

After the meeting:

Lord 3rd, after sighing quite loudly: "Kids these days have no manners"

Danzo: "Why don't you let me make that kid Ebizo join ROOT. I'll beat some decency into him."

Hiruzen: "It's obvious that you value his grit, but he's far too emotional to even try to tame. Like a rhino and a rope that's too thin, you can only gently use the rope as food for bait to keep the rhino in check, so as to not rush breaking even the False sense of Peace you've currently got with it."

Danzo: "Then give more manpower to ROOT to do so"

Hiruzen: "Shut up Danzo, I'm the Hokage, and the Uchiha stunt you pulled makes me not trust you still. Why would you..."

As the meeting ran on, you could hear loud arguing from both sides, where they ran off track the original purpose.

After Danzo left, Lord 3rd decided to talk things out with the clan head first.

Hiashi, upon hearing what his son had done and threated in a childish manner, slapped Neji silly, used the curse seal and forced Neji to graduate that year.

Hiruzen also visted Ebizo, but since the events of Neji had become gossip at that time, I politely declined, "stating" our "Team" might 'start'(even though we know each other) off on the wrong foot.

Reluctantly, Lord 3rd agreed with this sentiment and allowed me to stay behind for the final year.

This year was nothing special as it was mainly a review of the basics and continuation of learning the 3 academy jutsus.

My relationship with Rock Lee was noted to Might Guy although anyone with a brain can tell that Lee trains far harder(specifically taijutsu), it's just my body automatically uses chakra to defend and attack while Lee never gets that advantage due to his condition and gets Might Guy's sympathy because of it.

My relationship with both the kunoichi of the year and dead last within the academy as we hung out all year is one point noted by the academy to which they ask about, and to which I respond I know about team 7 conditions and how we're the most likely to be put together.

And so without fanfare for them, we get paired for a team, but fanfare for me for I Finally Got MIGHT MOTHERFUCKING GUY AS A TEACHER AND MY RATE OF SURIVIVAL JUST TRIPPLED in this world.

That might feel like exaggeration, and it might just be, but my paranoia has been soothed all the same, and I'm all the more grateful for it even though near-future me is gonna hate my ass for the training that's involved.

I Also Finally finished my outfit as I changed from the red standard shirt to a navy blue long sleeve shirt and black pants and iron knuckles and seals across all 3, with standard blue shinobi sandals that I'll likely paint darker once I'm Chunin.

I don't want to look too Competent, in fear that I might get targeted by other chunin-hopefuls during the exam, and so went with an almost cool outfit with standard(but off color) sandals and Obito-looking goggles that make my eyes look large and therefore, me look dumb.

Unlike Naruto, as a ninja I want to get underestimated. Bounties are enemies, and being low-key is the "key" to survival.

With regard to training I spent most of it on the 3rd stage of water based manipulation and boy do I have tricks to display.

Hopefully this will be fun.

Preview:

A)

As I jump back and slash with water Katara style at the earth style wave of rocks coming in hot, I suddenly have to jump away from an Earth Flow River containing a hot-headed Iwa-nim with brass knuckles that swung at my head that I flipped backwards from while converting my water into a whip to grab at the head of my bulldozer, forcing him to jump back and give me space.

When I look up, I am shocked to the point that my jaw drops and See mother-fuckin' Kitchuchi from Iwa standing there menacingly with 20 other Iwa ninjas, and say the first thing that comes to mind: "Shit".

B)

Me: "Stalking upon Chunin-hopefuls in the forest of Death, I spot 3 unsuspecting wild monkeys in the woods laughing while eating upon the final feast they enjoyed."

Teammate A: "Uh, I don't think you're being respectful with your commentary"

Moment of Silence.

*Duct tapes Teammate A's mouth

Me: "Stalking upon Chunin-hopefuls in the forest of Death, I spot 3 unsuspecting wild monkeys in the woods laughing while eating upon the final feast they enjoyed."