Delusive Fate

#062

They say the first time is always the hardest, and it seems that applies to sucking Lee Han-sol’s dick too. It was driving me crazy. One could argue that I could just stop it, but while that might work when I’m awake, there’s nothing I can do when I’m asleep. So, Ki Baek-woo was helping me wake up by squeezing Lee Han-sol Junior’s morning wood yesterday and today. I never even asked him to do this…!

This happened the morning before yesterday.

In my peaceful dream, a giant slime suddenly appeared. Before I could think, ‘This isn’t even a game… well, this world is a game, but it’s not the genre for slimes, why is this thing suddenly here?’, the slime made cute “kyuu, kyuu” sounds and clung to me adorably.

The slime seemed desperate to cuddle with me and burrowed into my clothes. Feeling oddly good about it, I laughed, “Haha, you cute thing. You like hyung? Since you’re not a dick-sucker, you can recognize a good person. They say monster eyes don’t lie, hahaha!” I patted it heartily. But my happiness was short-lived. The slime’s movements became suspicious.

The creature wriggling on my belly seemed to be slowly moving towards my lower body. As I thought, ‘What’s this bastard doing? Something’s off…’, suddenly…

This crazy thing suddenly pulled down my pants and started caressing my dick…! I was too shocked to do anything! Moreover, the inside of the slime was soft, warm, and moist, and to be honest, it felt amazing.

Well, it’s just a dream, so who cares, right? Yeah, some people even dream about ghosts, so monster sex could be a thing too. Maybe it’s because Ki Baek-woo sucked me off yesterday that I’m having this kind of dream. I thought my life was so shitty that I’d lost all libido and become impotent, but this is a relief. Lee Han-sol isn’t dead yet, huh? Haha.

Thinking this, I was enjoying my happy time with the slime… when suddenly I felt an unbearably realistic pleasure. The vivid and erotic stimulation made me moan involuntarily. My lower abdomen tingled, making my legs twitch on their own.

‘Why does this feel so real…? Ah, this is too weird. I don’t like it, it’s too real. Stop now, stop.’ I thought. And, as if reading my mind, the slime started to swell strangely. It morphed into a human shape and… what the fuck. This crazy monster bastard must have a death wish. Why the hell is it suddenly taking Ki Baek-woo’s form?

Ki Baek-woo, with his top-tier face, shook my dick while smiling lasciviously. Just as the dream’s super hot guy puckered his plump lips as if asking for a kiss and made a “kyuu” sound…

I came. The sensation of my waist bending couldn’t be anything but real. I opened my eyes wide at the too-realistic feeling of release. Cold sweat ran down my back.

‘Shit, what did I just release? Did I piss myself?’

I got chills down my spine, terrified that I might have wet the bed at this age. With a fearful heart, I reached into the blanket and felt around. It wasn’t wet… but what’s this? Some kind of furball… I felt something round between my thighs, with nice hair on top. I grabbed the easily graspable tuft of hair and pulled it up. Something huge came up with the blanket…

“…Ki Baek-woo?”

“Um, yes, hyung.”

“What were you doing down there? No, what did you just swallow?”

“…You came really quickly, hyung.”

“What?”

“It felt good, right? You used to like it when I did this in the morning sometimes… Was it okay?”

I was dumbfounded. Isn’t this really crazy? Why the fuck are you sucking off someone who’s sleeping? I mean, we might have done this in the past, but what ancient history are you talking about? That was when you were abnormal, a long time ago…! When you were mistakenly thinking you liked me because of the system! Of course, for this Ki Baek-woo, that might have been just a month or two ago, but anyway, now…!

I was too shocked to say anything. My brain creaked like rusty gears, and I just stared at him blankly. Ki Baek-woo then placed his palm over my hand that was gripping his hair and met my eyes. In a voice devoid of shame or pride, he said:

“I can do this for you every day. I’ll do it for you.”

His tone was almost resolute, with faded eyes. I couldn’t respond and just gaped like an idiot. So, what I just heard means, ‘I will perform oral sex on you every morning,’ right? Ki Baek-woo is really saying such a thing as solemnly as a knight’s oath. My head was filled with disbelief. No way…

And ‘no way’ always catches people off guard. As if determined to keep his word, Ki Baek-woo committed the atrocity of sucking my dick again this morning.

I felt like I was going to lose my mind. Ki Baek-woo was still diligently performing his duties as an excellent live-in servant, taking care of the household chores and attending to my needs. But this servant was now voluntarily acting as a sex slave, pouncing on me at every opportunity, creating an unexpected sexual tension in the house. The fact that such an unnecessary atmosphere was flowing between me and Ki Baek-woo was very shocking.

“Hyung, are you bored? Should we do that? Should I do it for you? You can tell me anytime, I’m okay with anything. Anything.”

Ki Baek-woo always asks like that when he rushes at me. More like an obsession than a question. “You don’t have to do anything, hyung. I’ll do everything for you. I’m always here,” he continues, sounding like a salesman trying to promote how good of a product he is. I respond with disgust.

“I’m not bored and it’s not okay, so get lost. Hey, I told you to get lost, where are you putting your hands now? Take your hands off my pants while I’m still asking nicely, Ki Baek-woo. I’m counting to three.”

One, two, two and a half of a half, two and a half of a half of a half… Hey, this is your last chance. Take your hands away unless you want another nosebleed. Two and a half of a half of a half of a haaalf…

This bickering, repeated several times a day, quickly made me sick of it. Ki Baek-woo is really weird. Is this… the power of words? Did I call him a slut so many times that he actually became one? Or is he trying to have one last fling with me before fully committing to Jung Yi-dam?

Maybe he’s doing this because he’ll never be able to do it with anyone else once he gets involved with the protagonist, Jung Yi-dam?

But Ki Baek-woo didn’t ask anything of me. He just sucked me off and then hurriedly backed away. Far from suggesting we do it once and be done with it, he was in a rush to hide even his erection. It was almost comical how he tried to hide it, given its size.

No matter how he acts now, he’s destined to have a great time with Jung Yi-dam soon. I wonder how much he’ll regret this when that time comes… I couldn’t find words to express Ki Baek-woo’s hopeless stupidity, not knowing what’s right in front of him.

But the problem doesn’t end there.

It’s not just Ki Baek-woo’s physical assaults that are tormenting me. While it’s truly annoying that his craziness has extended its territory into my underwear, it’s not enough to make me fall into self-loathing. Why should I be drowning in philosophical regrets like ‘Is my dick me, or am I my dick… Fuck it all’ just because he’s acting crazy on his own?

The real problem was me.

I really shouldn’t have allowed Ki Baek-woo between my thighs. Once I permitted that… my brain became a bit stupid. You know how there’s a sense of distance in relationships, right? For example, it’s okay for this guy to hold my hand without saying anything, but that bastard I want to kill if he comes within a meter of me. That’s one of the roles of the brain, to coldly calculate and determine these things… but a major error occurred there. The result is this:

The physical distance between me and Ki Baek-woo disappeared in an instant.

Honestly, this was an inevitable result. It wasn’t just anything, my dick went in and out of Ki Baek-woo’s mouth. The most intimate part met the most intimate part and did a rubby-rubby popping wacking hip-hop dance. After defeating the final boss of skinship, trivial tutorials like hugging or kissing didn’t seem like a big deal. It was all my fault. I should have kept my wits about me and anticipated this would happen… damn it.

Now I didn’t get angry when Ki Baek-woo sat close enough for our arms to touch. I wasn’t angry when he pretended to watch TV while sneaking glances at me, and I wasn’t angry when he took that opportunity to massage my hands and feet, trim my nails, apply some cream, and bury his cheek in my palm for a long time.

Of course, my heart was still a stone. The outside was too hard and dry, and the inside was desolately empty. It’s an empty can, crumpled and discarded at the bottom of a distant sea. Trash with no prospect of change other than completely corroding and disappearing in the far, far future. That’s why, even as I watched Ki Baek-woo acting like a leech, I could only think:

Sigh, what a pathetic bastard. How are you going to face Jung Yi-dam later… tsk.

Such indifferent thoughts made me fall into self-loathing. Why am I feeling so nonchalant about Ki Baek-woo clinging to me like a cat in winter? But what can I do if I really don’t mind? What can I do if I have absolutely no will to yell and jump around trying to pry Ki Baek-woo off? Right? Right now, Ki Baek-woo is solemnly spouting nonsense about how he’d suck my dick right away, and if that’s too boring, I could even put it in his ass. With him capable of doing such things, Ki Baek-woo burying his face in my shoulder is nothing, right?

I felt a sense of disillusionment. Unfortunately, it was the time of reality check that doesn’t come until after ejaculation. What the hell is this? What am I doing so complacently right now?

Ki Baek-woo will inevitably stop this anyway. Is it okay as long as I don’t like him? Lee Han-sol, you’re more pathetic than Ki Baek-woo. After dying so many times, after saying you’d quietly rest alone this time without getting miserably involved, why are you half-heartedly going along with this?

Even if you know the ending of this world, even if you won’t get hurt no matter what happens because you no longer need Ki Baek-woo, you’re still just an extra supporting character who can’t change anything. If you keep going on mindlessly like this and end up getting caught between Ki Baek-woo and Jung Yi-dam again and ruining everything? If all your plans for this round get ruined again, as always. What kind of pathetic mental gymnastics are you planning to do then?

Wake up, Lee Han-sol.

So I became uncomfortable with Ki Baek-woo. I was so uncomfortable with not being uncomfortable around him. I didn’t want to be with him because it felt so natural to be with him.

***

“Hyung.”

I heard Ki Baek-woo calling, but of course, I didn’t turn around. The bright morning sunlight made me even more depressed.

A little while ago, once again today, I opened my eyes as I came in Ki Baek-woo’s mouth. My body trembled languidly, but I became drastically lethargic. While I lay there dazed with my eyes half-open, Ki Baek-woo cleaned me up as if he was tending to a bedridden elderly patient. He kissed my limp, damp dick with soft pecks, cleaning off the fluids, then wiped me down with a wet towel. After that, he carefully put on fresh, soft underwear for me, then slipped his hands under my armpits to sit me up and handed me coffee.

Feeling particularly unmotivated, I just stared at the cup he offered without taking it. When I didn’t accept it, Ki Baek-woo quietly placed the cup on the bedside table. He didn’t leave after that, but lingered with a hesitant air. Then, very cautiously, he embraced me.