Beginning to the End

I still live in this same house even 13 years later, but this place seems so different.

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Going down the stairs step by step, I took in the house that I have lived in for my whole life, just 10 years younger.

We still have our old sofa, that horrid wallpaper is still on. Hung on the wall was the cheap painting that my dad bought. My mom swears to throw it away, but she never did. And at the center of it all I saw my mom.

My mom looks so young...and cheerful compared to how she is in 201X.

"You still need to eat dinner, okay? I know you're tired from the shoots, but you'd better eat first."

It feels uncanny, this whole thing. It's such a familiar situation, my mom calling me to eat after I take a brief rest from shoots.

I'm not sure how to react since the lines between dream and reality is increasingly blurring.

"Yeah, I know."

Is this really real? Am I not in a dream? Everything has been suggesting me that I am not dreaming, but I just can't seem to accept that yet.

I took a seat and picked up my chopsticks.

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The sounds of chopsticks, plates and chewing filled the air. My mom likes to converse a little while eating, but I guess she sensed something was off with me.

"Your dad is going to be a little late tonight, he has overtime."

I remember my dad being away a lot during this time. Although in the end he got lots of promotions, I can't help but feel sad that I missed a lot of time with him.

"By the way, are you alright Hana? Did the director scold you?"

"No it's nothing like that, I just feel a bit tired."

I don't really know what to say to my mom. Am I supposed to tell her that her daughter is now a different person because she somehow traveled through time?

I should just say someting throw her off.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine mom. It's just I'm worried about not being able to catch up with school."

"If that's what you worry about, I'll talk to your teacher about it tomorrow."

"Alright mom, thank you."

I lowered my eyes and continued eating.

"How about that role in that drama? You want to take it?", my mom mentioned suddenly.

"Huh? What drama are you talking about?"

"Goodness, how come you forgot about it already? Weren't you excited about it? It's that weekend drama from Channel M. I think it's called Spring Breeze?"

So it's Spring Breeze, I remember this drama. It's a daily drama that spans for 150 episodes, airing 6 episodes per week. It's a romance and family drama that starts off lighthearted like its title. Soon enough though, the writers started adding frustrating plots that are both boring and stressful to watch. In the end it just became a massive soap opera.

Spring Breeze became a dark history in all parties involved. It also got turned into some sort of buzzword. People would say stuff like 'It seems that this drama is gonna Spring Breeze.' It was that bad.

Although some actors managed to have a big break later on, the drama managed to kill off the career of good chunk of actors.

"Actually I'm not sure..."

"What's going on, yesterday you are so excited that you were practically bouncing since you passed the audition for it!"

In my previous life I actually participated in this drama. My role was the younger sister of the female lead. She is annoying, immature, very much someone that you would like to slap. There is barely any character development on her side and she hardly gets any screentime too.

I remember reading lots of comments cursing at my character. There was nothing too severe due to my lack of screentime, but it gave a huge impression on me since it was the first time I earned such strong reactions from the public.

To sum it up, it is a role where you got nothing to gain and everything to lose.

"I just... I suddenly don't want to act anymore, there is nothing more about it."

"Did something happen? Did some nasty person say something to you?."

My mom looked like she gonna throw hands if I confirmed it. It make me chuckle deep down.

" I just don't want to do it, I think it's good to take a short break to focus on my studies, my grades are slipping after all."

"Hana, I know you. I know you really like acting. It's fine if you don't want to act in that drama, but I hope that you would choose to do what you wanted to do."

"If you have a problem, tell me alright? We'll figure it out together."

That is such classic thing for her to say. Do what you want, chase your dreams, all that stuff. Sometimes I feel unworthy to be her daughter, she should have had someone that she could actually be proud off. Someone that she shouldn't have to constantly worry about.

Stop. Stop thinking like that.

Seeing me turn quiet, my mom picked up her chopsticks and placed a piece of beef in my bowl.

"The food is getting cold, let's eat first, I hope you'll think about your decision again."