Wasn’t This a Night Game

Inquisition

How did she know?

No.

Wouldn’t it be stranger if she *didn’t* know?

To perform miracles on such a scale, with not a trace of divine power… any human would surely raise suspicions.

My heart felt like it was plummeting to unfathomable depths.

As I’ve said, in times like these, I freeze solid.

And as I froze, my expression unyielding, Tyudel whistled, as if deeply impressed.

“Not even a twitch of the face. Got some nerve, huh? But putting on that brazen act won’t change a thing. A priest without divine power pretending to be a Saint—it’s a grave situation. Better hide it well in front of the Inquisition.”

She giggles, ho ho.

Just now feeling it again, the way she looks, the way she talks.

I really want to smack that face good.

If it weren’t for those grim-faced Silence Order priests standing behind her, I’d really give her one.

But seriously, what do I do?

I’m already exposed!

Am I screwed?

Thought I dodged the pyre!!

What the hell am I supposed to do?!

While I’m screaming internally,

from far away, the bald old geezer, Yodel, comes running with furious energy.

“What is the meaning of this! What business do the Silence Order of the Pantheon have here?”

High Priest Yodel’s question is met with Witch Tweedle’s giggling, as she points at me.

“High Priest, is it? You’ve been swindled all this time. Someone without divine power has been running around pretending to be a Saint.”

“That he lacks divine power, I’ve known all along. But this person is still the Saint of our Order.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but I looked into it, too. According to the Pantheon’s Inquisition protocols, even if an Order recognizes a Saint internally, the Pantheon has the authority to carry out an Inquisition on said individual.”

Tweedle throws that out there, all smug, but Yodel isn’t just going to take it lying down.

“You haven’t read the protocols properly. According to the Pantheon’s protocols, the authority to carry out an Inquisition on an individual only applies when that individual has clearly caused trouble across multiple Orders and society. The Saint has never once caused social unrest. That, the paladins and police of the Sun Order, including myself, can attest to.”

“But how can a Saint without divine power even exist?”

“It’s true, there’s no divine power. But even so. This one is indeed our Order’s Saint. From the start, if this person was truly a con artist, the Pantheon wouldn’t even need to step in; we would have been the first to report him for falsely claiming Sainthood.”

Yodel countered without yielding an inch. The clerics of the Silent Order, standing behind Tidel, cautiously glanced at each other, seemed to confer, and then stepped forward.

“Do you truly believe this person is the Saint of the Grace Order? High Priest Yodel?”

“I swear upon my faith. This one is undoubtedly a Saint of Grace.”

*Should probably ditch that old geezer faith.*

*He’s a con artist, that one.*

*I have no faith, and all the miracles I performed were created with skills from a trashy dating sim.*

*Skills that would make you puke and run after reading the first paragraph.*

Anyway, I was frozen stiff, listening to the exchange.

Yodel’s stance was so firm that even the Silent Order clerics looked uncertain.

“Master Tidel. Admittedly, a Saint without divine power is an untenable situation, but even so, when the Grace Order themselves are responding like this, it becomes difficult for us to conduct a high-intensity heresy inquisition.”

“Furthermore, it seems clear that no social disturbance has been caused… It seems a heresy inquisition will be difficult.”

Tidel’s face flushed with anger at the Silent Order’s words.

“Right now, I’m being accused of indirectly murdering a non-Abomination with the White Order’s hands! I’m so wronged! Erpa, that b*tch, is an Abomination, I tell you! And the so-called Saint before our eyes is clearly a fake Saint dispatched to prevent Erpa’s true identity from being revealed! A worshipper of evil gods!”

At Tidel’s words, the impoverished people huddled near me began to unleash their fury.

“Don’t slander the Saint so carelessly!! You witch!!!”

“What does that hag know, barking like that? The Saint isn’t like that at all!!!”

“Don’t insult the Saint of Healing!! Insulting the Saint is the same as insulting all of us!!!!!!”

Despite the barrage of jeers and anger, Tidel didn’t even flinch.

*Well now.*

What a brazen, infuriating woman.

If this were a novel, she’d be the perfect extra, slotted right into the villain’s position.

“Isn’t it the Inquisitorial Order’s role to suspect and suspect again? What if, just *what if*, this Erpa is actually a devil worshiper or a follower of some wicked god instead of a Saint of Healing? What if all the countless miracles he’s performed are part of some nefarious scheme of a dark deity? A Saint without divine power, does that even *make sense*? You have to take him in for questioning! Surely, some kind of flaw will surface!! Just think! About that incident with the priest from the Solar Order turning out to be a dark god worshiper! Precisely because he’s a Saint, we should be even more thorough in our suspicion, eliminating any lingering doubts, that’s what I think.”

“Ms. Tuedel.”

“I’m willing to accept any punishment for anything else, but I want to be *certain* that Erpa is, without a doubt, an abomination! I’ve already been expelled from the Magic Tower; I don’t want to be branded a heretic by the Pantheon as well!”

Tuedel’s vehement assertion ultimately forces a sigh from the priests of the Silent Order.

“…She does have a point. In principle, when a Saint appears, the Pantheon is obligated to discern whether they are an imposter claiming the title or a true Saint, acknowledging them or punishing them accordingly. Lord Yodel.”

“I cannot allow it! Do you mean to insult the Grace Order?! This man has *never* caused any social discord! On the contrary, he has only rescued and rescued those abandoned!”

“We understand the Grace Order’s stance. And we acknowledge that he hasn’t caused any social problems either. With this level of virtuous deeds, even if he’s proven to be falsely claiming the title of Saint, it would likely end with a mere year in the underground prison. However, since an accusation has been made, an Inquisitorial trial is unavoidable. Lord Yodel.”

“I refuse!! I refuse a hundred, a thousand times over!! I will never accept the humiliation of putting our Order’s Saint on trial for heresy!…”

Cutting off Yodel, I stood up from my seat.

No other words reached my ears.

Just now, clearly!

Clearly, the priests of the Silent Order said that even if I’m proven to be a false Saint, it would only end with about a year in prison, right??

If I can avoid the Goddess’s thunderous divine wrath, a vertical strike to the crown of my head, in exchange for a year in prison??

That’s a profitable transaction.

That’s a damn profitable transaction!!

If I just live like I’m dead in prison for about a year, since I’ll already have been branded a fake Saint anyway…

The Grace Order won’t have any reason to chase after me, even using miracles of tracking or whatever, right?

This is perfect!!

Suddenly, that witch, Tudel, seems almost…grateful.

To think she’d open a path like this for me!!

“Take me to the Inquisition. I will submit to interrogation.”

Yodel jumps like he’s been stung by a bee.

“Holy One!! No! No! You *are* the Holy One!!”

No, damn it!!

No!!

I don’t know the “Lilia” of Lilia, understand?!

Before my transmigration, and now, I’ve lived without knowing even the ‘S’ of faith!!

It’s true, isn’t it, that a faithless b*stard is impersonating the Goddess’s Holy One!!

If this keeps up, I’m going to die!!

So, I need to be dragged to the Inquisition and get the fake Holy One verdict as quickly as possible.

Do a year or so in prison, then I’ll gamble on physical modification to change my face completely, and live as quietly as a mouse.

No divine retribution.

No threat of being burned at the stake. A quiet, ordinary life.

Ah.

Sounds so damn good.

“I will abide by the Pantheon’s judgment. Arrest me and interrogate me. I will reveal all the facts, without hiding anything, there.”

“No!! Holy One!!”

I glare at Yodel.

“Just when there’s a sliver of a chance to escape, don’t you dare get in the way!”

“It is my will, Lord Yodel. This is right.”

At my words, High Priest Yodel falters, then retreats a step.

“…If that is your wish…”

Yes!!

The unconditional Yes-man finally comes through!

I extend both my hands to the Silence Order’s priests.

“Take me to the Pantheon and begin the inquisition. I accept it willingly.”

At my action, the paupers around me wail and collapse.

“Saint! Do not abandon us! Saint!”

“Ah! No! Saint! We need you!”

“Don’t leave!!!”

The wails were so loud, words barely registered.

Even as they cast miracles of suppression upon me, the Silence Order’s priests visibly hesitated.

Is this right?

They seemed to be wrestling with it too.

Only Tydell looked ready to burst with happiness.

And I, inwardly, laughed along with her.

Thank you, Tydell.

Thanks to you, escape has become possible.

* * *

Tick.

Just one year, live it and get out.

Then a reset becomes possible.

A life worrying about the Goddess’s wrath too. A life worrying about being burned at the stake too.

Now, forever goodbye to it all.

“Do not rely on me. I am merely a person passing through. Absolutely!! Absolutely!! Do not despair when I leave, do not create chaos, do not incite riot.”

I’m only going to live here for a year and leave.

Don’t go causing riots or something and get me in trouble, yeah?

Fake saint stirring up societal trouble?

You get burned.

Fire and flames ending ain’t gonna fly.

“Even when I am gone, continue as you have. Sweep the roads, feed the hungry, clean and cherish each other. If you do so, there may come a day when our paths cross again.”

Lip service.

There will be no more crossing paths.

I’m leaving this place forever.

It was truly disgusting meeting you, let’s never see each other again.

I was saying all that to the people, when.

Having heard the rumors, from far off, Jonathan Karma and his family come rushing, breathless.

“What is the meaning of this!! This person is absolutely not a false saint!! This person saved my family! This is tyranny!! This person is absolutely not a swindler!!”

Came, have you. Mister Jonathan Karma.

Lilia Order’s bankruptcy scheme’s core.

But I don’t need you anymore.

I’m getting branded a false saint anyway, rotting in prison for a year, then quietly skipping town.

Until now, I said I was pushing hard to bankrupt the Order, but in a year, I’ll be someone unrelated to the Lilia Order.

Since I’ll be unrelated soon, let’s change my tune a bit.

Still, the Grace Order treated me well.

I shouldn’t let it go bankrupt because of my personal stubbornness, putting an incompetent person in charge, should I?

“Mr. Jonathan. I have a request.”

“Anything! Anything you ask!!”

“I only feel sorry for you taking on such a big burden because of me. Now that I, the one responsible, will be gone, if the business doesn’t go well… you can quit and leave immediately.”

I know you’re terribly incompetent, so I was vaguely expressing that if it looks like you’re going to bankrupt it, just cut ties early and leave.

He’ll understand that much, right?

At my words, Jonathan Karma, with a desperately moved expression, started to sob and grabbed my hand.

“I swear!! I will wait for you here!! I will make the Lilia Order the wealthiest Order in the Empire!! I will wait for you in that state, forever!! Saint-nim! I swear it on my soul and my name!!! All the money I make is only for you and the Order!”

Uh, uh. You don’t have to.

I know you’re incompetent, so if you look like you’re about to die, just cut ties quickly and run away.

I’m not going to be related to the Lilia Order after a while anyway.

“I believe you, Mr. Jonathan.”

Since it’s the last time, after giving a rough smile and some lip service, I was taken away by the Silent Order.

“Saint-nim!! Saint-nim!!”

“aaah!! Grace, protect us! Protect your apostle!!”

That burdensome roar erupting from behind me, today’s the last time I’ll hear it.

Tudel, hurrah!!

The Inquisition, hurrah!!

The false saint, hurrah!!

The goddess’s divine punishment won’t be striking my crown anymore!