Wasn’t This a Night Game

Please Just Never Come Back

“I moved the factory building to the massive junkyard on the outskirts of the capital. You can demolish it there, sell what you can sell, and throw away what needs throwing away!”

The witch shouted like that, waving her wand, and everyone raised their hands and cheered.

“The grace of the Goddess!!”

“We believe! In the Goddess!!”

Anyone could see that the witch was the one who did it with magic, so why are they suddenly worshipping the Goddess?

Please, just don’t do that.

The Goddess Lilia is probably watching me in real-time, you know.

Feels like something’s caught in my throat.

It’s a burden.

Feels like the Goddess might shout any moment now, calling me a son-of-a-b*tch who’s falsely claiming to be a saint, and then hurl divine punishment down on my head.

“I! I’ll go and sell it all! I know better than anyone what was inside the factory!!”

Scrooge.

“Nay.”

Jonathan Karma, having arrived at the scene unnoticed, volunteered, raising his hand at the witch’s words.

“Saint! Just you wait a little!! I’ll go take care of it and come back! All the money inside the factory too, it’s all yours! Just a moment!”

Jonathan Karma vanished as if taking flight.

And then, near dusk that day, he returned with a thick wad of bills.

“The equipment inside the factory was mostly old, so I couldn’t get much. Even so, the scrap metal value alone was considerable. Two thousand Salreds. Saint.”

Jonathan Karma placed the wad of money before me with a respectful posture.

What to do with this money…

Well. The most straightforward thing is eating, right?

“High Priest Yodel, sir.”

When I carefully called the High Priest, the bald old man came running, standing before me like a shot.

“Speak! Saint!”

“Use this to buy food and feed the poor here.”

“Blessings!! I shall do so!!!”

And just like that, a free food kitchen was instantly set up in front of the abandoned factory.

The poor, having received treatment and recovered, were eating the food prepared by the Lily Order, shedding tears as they did.

“It’s been so long since I’ve had food this warm and delicious!”

“Thank you! Saint!!”

“Saint!!! Thank you!!!”

Countless people came to me weeping, bowing low and prostrating themselves.

Yeah.

Feels right good.

Good, but the problem is the chances of getting smote by the heavens are ticking up real-time.

I ain’t got no religion, hear me?!

I ain’t no Liliana follower either!!

No faith in me at all, you hear, you fuckers?!

I’m godless!!

I’m proper fucked now.

Could get lightning to the skull this instant and wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.

The poor folks, they ain’t the problem.

Ain’t like they can work some tracking miracle, or got the means to hunt a body down systematic.

Right then.

It’s them church folk that’s the real bother.

Gotta shake ’em loose, quick.

Hurry!

Gotta bleed this money dry, fast!!!

So they can curse me for being useless and leave me be!!

“Yodel, my friend.”

“Speak, oh Holy One!!”

“Tomorrow. As soon as the sun breaks, start digging. Foundation’s gotta be solid. Dig deep, make ready to raise a tall, high building. You understand me?”

“So shall it be!!”

“Expensive excavators and equipment. Borrow them all, invest without holding back. And do not exploit those who work. Generously. Pay wages that feel excessive. A fat purse is true grace. Do you understand?”

“Of course!! Of course!! I’ll scrape together every coin I can move right now with my authority! The temples in the provinces, too, I’ll persuade them as quickly as possible to draw in as much funds as we can! It’s the Saint’s command, would the Order’s money be a problem?!”

Now, there was no guilt about deceiving the Order and causing them losses.

Guilt be damned, I need to survive, don’t I?

I’m too young to kick the bucket and face divine retribution.

Sorry.

Old Man Yodel.

But I don’t have a choice either.

Evening came.

The paupers huddled around me like baby birds waiting for their mother.

I looked at the paupers and finally realized the nature of the strangeness.

“Everyone……you don’t have homes?”

“The streets are our home, Saint.”

“We sleep leaning against ropes too, Saint.”

That was the problem.

These people.

They have nowhere to sleep!!

I don’t have the ability to provide them with a place.

What should I do about this.

“No way! It’s… almost good?”

I’m freezing my ass off, and if I get a rep as a useless saint who can’t even scrounge up bedding, won’t everyone just ditch me?

“Just throw down your mats and lie on the ground! I’ll cast a wide-area warmth-keeping spell! Hurry, lie down! Eating well and sleeping well is important! Got it?”

That four-armed witch, she’s trolling again.

Why!!

Why!!

Why you gotta do this, why!!

If you keep this up, I’m gonna end up a saint, for real!!

They gotta wake up with a twisted mouth or something, so they can curse me out and leave!!

Why are you trying to make the roadside comfortable!!

Maybe that story about her being from the Magic Tower is a lie.

She’s acting like a goddamn black mage.

“A blessing!! Oh Goddess!!”

“Thank you! Thank you!”

The poor folk, they just sprawl out on the ground however they can, and the witch waves her wand, scattering something into the air.

A faint yellow light seems to linger in the air for a moment, then the ground I’m standing on gets hotter, like someone just cranked up the underfloor heating.

“Everyone, sleep now!”

“It’s the Saint’s blessing!”

“Thank you! Witch-nim! Thank you, Saint-nim!! Thank you, Goddess!!”

Everyone’s got a happy face, lying down to sleep on the warm ground.

There wasn’t a hint of chaos, not a sliver of misfortune to be found here.

The paladins of the Sun Order and the police dispatched for public order watched the scene with placid smiles.

Some of the cops and paladins, goodness knows what they were so touched by, were even shedding tears.

“Saint. High Priest Alois instructed us to watch over you only until the Lily Order arrives. But, if it wouldn’t be a bother, might we continue to walk alongside you, following the trail of your miracles, for just a little longer?”

The paladins of the Sun Order, looking like they’d steeled their resolve, approached me, knelt, and spoke those words.

“Ropus himself would surely deem this right. If you permit it, may we do so?”

Those words suddenly piqued my interest.

This…

Isn’t bad at all?

“It would be a most profound honor. Yodel.”

“Speak, Saint!”

Ever since witnessing the healing of Jonathan Karma’s family, High Priest Yodel had transformed from a bald old geezer to something bordering on a puppy.

At my call, Yodel scurried over, and I gestured toward the paladins of the Sun Order.

“Pay these individuals their due. Their efforts must be rewarded.”

“No, Saint! We are not here for the sake of coin!”

I know.

You need to make the Order’s money flow, don’t you.

Just haphazardly handing out money would get you a reputation as a good-for-nothing, wouldn’t it?

“Accept it. It is grace. Happiness springs from the purse, and the purse is made stout by coin. One must accept when one can.”

Yodel, deeply moved by my words, nodded his head.

“I shall bestow it. Oh, Children of the Sun. It is the will of the Goddess of Grace!”

The paladins of the Solar Order seemed moved by the words, making the sign of the cross and nodding their heads.

“If it is the Goddess’s will, then we accept!!”

Seeing the Solar Order paladins shouting, the police officers approached me, one by one.

“Saint. We will also continue to maintain order here. This many people gathering continuously could cause problems.”

“Then you too, shall receive recompense.”

“We cannot! If we accept money, it would be a bribe!”

“Do not call the Goddess’s grace a bribe. If giving it to you individually is illegal, then deliver it as a donation to the police station.”

I need to make them spend the money, somehow!!

Somehow!!

At my words, Yodel only nodded like a fool.

“As you wish! Anything the Saint commands!”

Having gained the ability to command the police and the Solar Order paladins, Jonathan Karma cautiously approaches me.

“Saint. Is there nothing you require of me? I have lived as a businessman for more than half my life. I have confidence when it comes to managing money or running enterprises.”

My ears perked up at these words.

Confidence, my ass.

You bankrupted your doll factory, didn’t you!!

He’s saying he’s terrible at business!!

The perfect talent!!

If I give this person money and entrust him with a business, wouldn’t he screw it up to catastrophic levels?

“I wish to entrust you with the building of the temple. Borrow the equipment, including the excavators, and oversee the construction, digging the land, and commanding the workers to erect the building. To you, Yodel-nim. All funds required for the construction moving forward, entrust them entirely to Jonathan Karma-nim.”

Old Man Puppy would say OK no matter what I asked.

“As you wish! Saint!”

“Thank you. Thank you. Saint. I will never forget that you healed my daughter, not even in death. I will aid you in performing miracles at your side. Thank you.”

Jonathan Karma disappears, bowing deeply.

It’s over now.

There won’t be more, right?

“Aren’t you going to rest?”

I forgot!!

Nuclear Warhead Dawan Witch!!

The witch, with her four arms folded demurely, approaches me, smiling as she asks that.

Seriously, she’s scary no matter how many times I see her.

Is it even believable, a magical ability that can pull an entire factory out of the ground and teleport it to the outskirts of the capital with a single wave of her wand?

The thing in front of me is a monster.

I need to calm down.

“I was just about to sleep. The floor is really warm. Thank you.”

I’m going to sleep. So please, leave quickly.

I’m scared looking at you.

I tried to pretend to lie down in a hurry, but faster than that, the witch approaches me and takes my hand.

Whoa, shit, I’m shrinking back.

It’s truly frightening.

Before I even realize, cold sweat is breaking out, and my body begins to tremble.

“You’re trembling again. Is it a divine revelation?”

The Witch looks worried, taking my hands in hers, her own hands large enough to cradle my forehead too.

It’s not a divine revelation.

It’s just the shivers of a body about to disappear with you, lady.

“It’s nothing. You don’t need to worry about it.”

Yeah! Don’t worry about it and just vanish already!!

Don’t come looking for me again!!

It was a throwaway line, said more to that effect, but it seems the Witch took my words in a different light entirely.

“You are truly noble.”

The Witch’s eyes redden.

Almost brimming with tears.

It seems she’s mistaken me for some kind of saintly figure, enduring some divine revelation while sacrificing and dedicating myself to the people.

“Name. I want to know your name. Saint. I didn’t catch it last time. Could you tell me?”

Her two hands clutch mine tightly, earnestly, but to me, it sounds like a threat.

Is that code for, I’ll squash you if you don’t give me your name?

Is she about to turn dark and explode like a bomb again?

Fucking terrifying, shit…….

“Jericho. Amael. You can just call me Amael, it doesn’t matter.”

“Amael-nim…”

The witch murmurs, dreamlike, lost in reverie.

Eyes squeezed shut, savoring my name as if on the tip of her tongue, she cautiously lifts my hand, pressing a kiss to my knuckles.

“You saved my everything. Holy one.”

“I only did what needed doing.”

“Just once… could you kiss me once more?”

Face flushed crimson, the witch asks, hesitant.

What the hell will happen if I don’t?

The threat hangs heavy, brutal in its simplicity.

Carefully, I cup her face and draw her towards me.

And then, with the utmost gentleness, I kiss her forehead.

Please don’t explode.

Yeah.

A kiss or two, I can manage.

As long as she doesn’t blow, a kiss is…

“I am yours, eternally.”

As the kiss ends, the witch gazes up at me, tears streaming down a face melting with something akin to bliss.

Her fingers gingerly reach my lips, brushing against them.

Lost in a daze, she caresses my mouth, a smile playing on her lips.

Her eyes weep, but her mouth smiles.

Lost, it felt, in a stewpot of sentiment.

“I shall take my leave.”

The witch offered a polite bow, then vanished.

Only after she was gone could I unclench.

She won’t be back tomorrow, right?

Please, let her never return.