LGHTNOVELBOOK Chapter 187: Returning the Jewels
"I'm here to see Officer Pete. He's expecting me. Like I've said several times," I said.
I was standing in the front lobby of the police department in the city I won't mention the name of. The person sitting behind the desk, be they administrative assistant, receptionist, or police officer themselves, was stopping me from seeing Pete and I was losing my patience.
I understood that some random guy asking to see a specific officer seemed suspicious, but the least they could do was contact Pete and ask if he was expecting me. I was trying to do a good deed and return the stolen jewels, but this guy was making it really hard to do that.
"Sir, you can't ask to see a specific officer on or off duty. Call 911 if you need the police," he said.
"That's just it. I don't need the police. I need a police… officer. Pete. I need Officer Pete," I said. I was about to lose my patience with this guy, and when that happened, things got ridiculous.
"Sir, if you don't leave, I'll have you taken into custody," he said.
"I'm trying to return the jewels stolen from banks all across the US," I said.
"You're returning the jewels you stole from banks all across the US?" He said, his eyebrows raised.
"That's not what I said. I said I'm trying to give you the jewels that other people stole from banks across the US," I said.
"How do we know it wasn't you who stole the jewels? How else would you get them?" He said, puzzled.
"I stole them from the people who stole them," I said.
"So you admit to stealing the jewels?" He said.
"This conversation is so stupid, that it feels like you're fucking with me, but I can tell you're not," I said.
"No sir, I am not "fucking" with you," he said.
"You know what? I'm just going to give you the jewels and have you figure it out. I'm done playing this stupid word game of yours," I said, getting angry.
"Sure, ok, I'll take the jewels. Here put them in my hand." He held out his hand like he was going to hold them in his palm.
"You're seriously underestimating my ability to hold onto jewels. And you're going to pay the price. I'm done," I said.
I turned and walked to the door. I opened both doors all the way open and put potted plants in front of them so they couldn't close.
"Umm, sir. You can't do that!" He said.
"Oh, but I can and I did. Let's see you stop me," I said, making a 'come to me' gesture with my hands.
"Sir, I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice." He got out from behind the desk and waddled toward me.
"Midas, come out and give him a taste," I said.
Midas manifested beside me.
"What is that—" Before he could finish his sentence, Midas opened his mouth and went, "Blaaaaarrrrgh!" And vomited a spray of jewels at the man advancing on me.
The spray hit him in the chest and flung him back against the wall. I let it continue for a few seconds and then I said, "Stop."
Midas stopped vomiting jewels.
"What are you doing sir?" The man yelled.
"I'm giving you back the jewels like you asked. You might want to get behind your desk for this," I said.
"Sir, I will not take orders from you!" He said and began walking towards me. He pulled out a baton.
"Ok, this is escalating far beyond where I'm capable of handling it," I said.
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I put my hand out and grabbed onto the officer's head. I pushed against him so he couldn't get any closer to me. He did what any normal person would do in that situation. He tried to hit my arm.
The metal police baton bent around my arm, not harming me in any way. He looked at his baton and said, "What the fuck? How did you do that?"
"By standing still," I said, rolling my eyes.
I was beyond annoyed at this point. I was exerting incredible patience to not wrap the baton around his wrists behind his back and leave him sitting on the ground in the middle of this lobby.
"I'm just going to return the jewels and leave now. You insulted me and you assaulted me. I feel more than justified in leaving my good deed on the floor here. Midas, do your thing," I said.
Midas opened his mouth and began vomiting the stolen jewels at the police officer. They pushed him back some, which is what I needed to let go of his head and walk out of the door. I turned around and watched the rest.
Midas kept vomiting jewels. It didn't stop for a while. The entire floor of the lobby was covered in a layer of jewels. Then it was ankle deep. Then it was knee deep. Then it was hip deep. Then it was chest deep. Then it was neck deep.
"Ok, Midas, you can stop there. I think he's gotten the point," I said.
Midas jumped out of the pile of jewels and swam through them to get to me.
"Let me know when you want the rest!" I said to the officer who was now up to his neck in rubies, sapphires, and topaz.
"The rest?" He said. "There's more?!?!"
"See ya," I said and left.
I called Blackhammer.
"Hey, Dylan! What can I do for you?" Blackhammer said.
"How are you talking to me right now?" I asked.
"On a cellphone. How else would I be talking to you?" He said.
"You have a cellphone, underground, and it works? How do the cellphone tower signals even reach down here?" I said.
"Don't worry about it. Now how can I help you?" He said.
"Uh ok. I kind of own the dragon sect complex now and it needs severe remodeling and rebuilding. Preferrably into something that suits me and my girlfriends," I said.
"Yeah I can do that, but did you say girlfriends? How did you pull that?" He said.
"Don't worry about it," I responded, smiling.