Through The Fractured Lens

Dante Vitali

Tsk.

The pain continues to hum throughout my entire body as I begin to lose consciousness.

While I didn't expect to die tonight, after all—who would? It was really happening. I was dying here, and now.

I've lived for about 45 years. I've lived through a lot of things… bizarre things. My vision finally begins to blur, random memories flashing about like a sandstorm in my mind.

However, amongst all of that, for an odd reason that I can't quite understand, the same memory keeps resurfacing—the day Lucian arrived at my house. 

It was a fleeting memory, one I couldn't quite piece together in truth.

'Guess I'll see you soon, eh Isabella?' I spoke to myself.

Finally, after another few painful minutes, I took my last breath—it all faded to black. In the endless expanse of nothingness my conscious seems to be floating in, I can feel my very presence fading away into oblivion.

***

11 years ago

Lucian was finally getting a bit comfortable, it had seemed. Merely a few hours had passed, but I was glad he was adapting fast. After all, it would end up helping us, of course.

No matter, however. Both the kids were here. In fact, they were talking to each other right now. Lucian definitely has a lot of energy when he gets comfortable, and I hope that he continues to grow his relationship with Veyra over the coming months and years.

After giving them an extra minute, Isabella called them over for dinner. Isabella and I had already been sitting at the dining table, waiting. Dinner will wait, it was time to get down to business.

As they both took their seat, I glared at them with a sense of seriousness. Lucian seemed to understand quite well instantly, but Veyra ended up sinking down in her chair—her hunger clouding any worry she might've had for this abrupt change of attitude from us.

My wife, Isabella, wore a mysterious grin over her face before finally speaking.

"Now, let's talk, shall we?"

[ End Of Flashback ]

***

Lucian

I began to walk away from Dante's lifeless body, a mix of—nothingness. I couldn't feel anything, not even accomplishment. 

The rain had stopped after I gained some distance, but the cold night air bit at my skin as I still trudged away from the scene, my footsteps creating echoes in the empty streets.

I couldn't help but replay Dante's final moments over and over again in my mind… it was very strange to me. This man that had done so much bad, tortured Veyra and I for years, and probably killed thousands indirectly with his contracts.

However, unlike Silas, he didn't cry nor beg for life, instead—he accepted it.

Memories of our initial conversation together washed into my mind. Isabella's evil grin, Dante's piercing gaze, the weight of all these unspoken expectations they had set on two 7 year old's was insane.

After a few years, it seemed Veyra couldn't live like that anymore.

I had contemplated putting myself out of misery ever since then, but the growing urge to eliminate Dante had more growing dominance in my mind over anything else.

I began to think of Isabella, as well. I had figured out her name quite some time after I left, but…

She never appeared in any public records. Not only was it likely she was dead, but if I didn't know any better—I'd say she never existed in the first place.

***

After a long walk, I made it back to my apartment. The lingering smell of dirty laundry instantly hit my nostrils. Clothes were scattered everywhere, some with deep blood stains.

If I didn't live here, I'd say it looked like a crime scene.

I dragged myself over to the bathroom, clenching the edges of the sink. My head felt weightless, as it hung down over the sink itself.

Finally, I switched on the sink, splashing more cold water on myself. As the icy water hit my face, I finally looked up into the mirror.

The reflection staring back at me was barely recognizable.

My eyes, once a vibrant crimson shining in the night, a signal of death for the enemies I had cut down, now seemed lifeless. Dark circles etched themselves beneath them, an accurate testament to the many sleepless nights.

Anger began to slowly boil me. All of this self-torture to kill a man who didn't even care about his death?

I lift up one of my hands, clenching them into a fist as I smash the mirror in one hit. The hit was precise, no pieces of glass flying anywhere, just a perfectly shattered mirror, as my reflection bends over all the different shards of glass covering the surface.

Staring at the fractured reflection, each shard showing a different piece of my broken self, I managed to push out a few unwilling tears.

The pain in my knuckles was nonexistent, barely registering compared to what I felt within.

I slowly release the clenched fist, as the locket that I was holding tightly in my hand began to dangle outwards, shining against the shattered mirror.

I pull back my hand, noticing the slight streams of blood coming out from my knuckles. I paid it no attention as I walked over to my bed. I collapsed onto the mattress, barely able to stand any longer.

My body felt so weightless, but also heavy at the same time. I couldn't quite understand any of it.

Tears began to rush out once more, as I daze off into the night.

***

Dream—4 years ago

My hands are aching and tense—I couldn't hold on for any longer.

However, I had to push through. Couldn't let her win at anything, could I?

Finally, using the last bit of my strength, I grabbed the last bar with one of my hands, pulling my body towards it. Balancing my weight, I brought over the other hand to the bar.

I had done it. I couldn't hold on for any longer as I dropped to the floor, landing on my back.

"Ouch man, that hurt… my arms hurt as well!" I spoke, looking towards Veyra.

"Well maybe if you didn't try so hard to be better than me at everything, this wouldn't have happened, you see." she snapped back.

Veyra was sitting at the top of the tubed slide with an annoyed smile on her face. She was looking down at me, so I sent her back a grin. "Sounds like the loser is speaking."

"Ugh, I can't with you." she replied, before going down the slide.

She came out the other end with a bit of a chuckle, clearly having fun. After all, anywhere that wasn't "home" was fun.

We had messed around for a bit longer, before we began to walk back to the foster house.

Walking in a peaceful silence, Veyra ended up speaking first. "Hey Lucian," she began. "What do you think happens when you die?"

I was struck by the question, not really having an answer for her.

"Well, I mean I don't… really know."

She looked over at me, gaze lingering for a moment as she searched my face. "You don't know? I thought you knew everything," she teased, but there was a hint of seriousness in her voice.

I shrugged, quite uncomfortable with the situation. "Nobody really knows, I guess. Why ask?"

She looked away, her hair swinging around as she turned her head. "I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Do you ever think it would just be easier if we just… didn't exist anymore?"

A chill ran through me at her words. I knew things were bad at the foster home, but I hadn't realized how much it affected Veyra's mental health.

"Hey, don't talk like that," I said, my voice sounding quite rough.

"While it may not be the best, we were still given a life for a reason." I began, thinking of the right words to use. "While we may not have found it yet, we are only 14, it's okay to just be… kids."

She didn't reply, instead, she turned back to give me a smile, before looking back away.

This entire little conversation had bolted around my brain, looking for answers. It was quite obvious her mental health was a lot worse than mine was, and I didn't know how to help her.

We walked off into the distance, and I began to blink. It was time to wake up, again.

Everything around me turned to ash, as there was nothing left besides me and Veyra—hovering over an endless void of black.

This would be the last time I'd ever got to actually talk to her. After this, we'd both to go to sleep, and I would have waked up early to sneak up to get some fruit—how I thought I could help.

Veyra looked back at me. "Maybe one day we'll see each other again, Lucian."

A rope was forming out of thin air, circulating around Veyra's neck, before slowly securing itself.

At that moment, I began to choke on my own words, as she faded to black, and I began falling until I crashed into water, sinking down along with my sorrow.

My eyes close once again, as it all faded to black once again.

***

I felt anger seeping through to every inch of my body, mixed with the faint sensation of wet tears streaming down my face.

Jolting up from a dead sleep, I lean against the wall and began to scream.

"Why do these memories have to come up now?" I asked myself, hoping for an answer I wouldn't get.

As my screams echoed through the empty apartment, every sense of… anything, just left my body. I had no more anger, I had more no sadness—no more will to live.

I stumble out onto the kitchen, swinging through every cabinet—anything, trying to find it.

After a quick, but messy search, I found it. The gun. I picked it up as I give it a slight blow to knock off all the accumulating dust.

As I began walking back over to the wall, barely able to keep my balance, I snatch the locket off the counter and a bottle of vodka that I had left there for months.

After walking for a moment, I made it to the far end of my apartment. I look out the window, watching as two children toss around a ball in the alley, before the mom eventually came to call them over, as I could faintly hear their conversation.

"Kids, we have to go—dinner will get cold!"

I slump down in the corner of the wall as I pop open the bottle of vodka, gun still in hand.

Taking a long swig from the bottle, I felt the harsh liquid burning my throat. The alcohol began to dull my senses, but does nothing to mask the emptiness inside.

Staring at the gun in my hand, its presence both comforting and terrifying.

The locket dangles from one of my fingers, catching the dim light filtering through the grimy window. Memories of my Uncle Orin begin to trickle into my brain.

It had been a while before I had thought of him—too long, in fact.

For a moment, I had wished he was here. He would've talked some sense into me, or simply would've just had a comforting presence.

My finger traces the gun—it would be so easy to end it all, really.

To slip into that oblivion that Veyra fell into, and leave this miserable existence behind. However tempting it was, I still just sat there for hours.

As I finish off the last bit of alcohol, I smash the bottle against the wall to my side, before I began tearing up once more.

My hand finally clenches around my gun, shaking uncontrollably along with it.

The locket had fallen to the floor in my hours of sorrow. I picked it up with my other hand, sliding the chain down one of my fingers before gripping it tightly. I held it up with intent, watching as it shined brightly in the day.

I still had never opened the locket, but I knew I would die without knowing what was inside of it.

My hand still shaking, I brought the gun closer to me as I slumped my other arm, with the locket, down to the side.

After a little while, I shoved the gun down my throat. I had no tears, no emotion, just.. finality.

Not even memories raced through my head. Nothing. There was an endless tinge of silence that choked the room, as I looked down over to the locket for the last time.

And finally…

I pull the trigger.

Bang.

There was no more tomorrow—only today, and today was the last.

In moments, everything faded to black, but I felt the small sense of a smile creep through my lifeless body, up to my face.

Everything was black, as darkness began to cover every inch of my body.

I had killed myself, no doubt, but I didn't feel dead.

Finally, after a long moment of silence as I began to lose my mind in this utter void of emptiness, I saw a dim light come into view.

My mind began racing towards it, yet I wasn't moving. It was like I was being dragged to it.

The once dim spot of white had now fully enveloped me, before everything faded to black once again—but only for a second.

After a moment, I heard mumbling around me. I couldn't exactly make out what was happening at first, but I was finally able to pick up on something.

"Congratulations! A beautiful baby boy."