Through The Fractured Lens

Lucian

Dream—4 years ago

I sprint through the tall grass of the fields before stumbling over an uneven rock and falling to the ground. I quickly roll onto my back, trying to catch my breath, when I heard faint laughter in the distance. After a moment, Veyra appears above me, still chuckling.

"Can't walk on your own two feet?" Veyra said, humorously.

"At least I'm not paranoid about ruining my precious hair," I replied.

"It's perfect! A man wouldn't understand." She mumbled, slightly red in the face.

I reach out my hand and Veyra helps pull me up, as a smile crosses both of our faces. She had on messy, ragged and torn clothes, just like me. Splotches of dirt covered her lower body down to her legs, but she didn't pay it any mind.

There was a flash of silence that struck the air, until Veyra was the first to speak. "It's getting late, it'll probably be best if we start to head back."

"I suppose you're right, let's stay here for a few more minutes at least," I replied.

Veyra didn't answer, instead, she threw out another smile, before running out into the fields, laughing. "Hey, wait for me!" I shouted, unable to gauge whether she actually heard me or not.

I chased after Veyra, her laughter carried on the wind as she darted between the tall stalks of grass. The setting sun painted the field in hues of gold and amber, casting long shadows that danced around us.

For a moment, I forgot about the foster home, the uncertainty of our lives, and simply just enjoyed the present. After all, how many more moments would I get like this? I asked myself.

As the distance between us closed, Veyra suddenly stopped, causing me to stumble past her. She caught my arm, steadying me, and we both collapsed onto the soft earth, breathless and grinning.

"You're getting faster," Veyra remarked, her gray-green eyes twinkling with mischief.

I shrugged. "Or maybe you're getting slower."

She swatted my arm before growing quiet, as her gaze shifted to the horizon.

Another flash of silence struck, like earlier, however this time, it was peaceful. We silently enjoyed a few more minutes of each others company before we had to head back, head back to hell.

The comfortable silence stretched between us, broken only by the rustling of grass in the gentle evening breeze. I watched Veyra from the corner of my eye, noticing how the fading sunlight caught in her dark hair, giving it an almost ethereal glow. For a fleeting moment, I felt an urge to reach out and grab her hand, but I quickly suppressed the thought.

"Lucian," Veyra said softly, her eyes still fixed on the horizon. "Do you ever wonder what's out there? Beyond all this?"

I considered her question carefully before responding, stumbling on the question in my own head. "Sometimes, but I try not to think about it too much. It's… easier that way ."

She turned to face me, her expression a mixture of curiosity and concern.

"Easier? Or just less painful?"

Her words struck a chord within me, and I felt my carefully constructed mental walls come to a crash, letting a few tears drift down my face.

I swallowed hard, trying to push down the lump forming in my throat. Veyra's perceptiveness had always been both a comfort and a curse. "Maybe both," I admitted quietly, my voice barely above a whisper.

Veyra shifted closer, her shoulder brushing against mine. The warmth of her presence was a stark contrast to the cooling evening air. "You don't have to pretend with me, you know," she said softly.

"You are right… sometimes," I began, my voice cracking. "I think about what's out there, you know." I admitted, once again, unable to provide any sort of comforting lie, but why would it matter.

"But again, I try to appreciate the little around me. It's hard looking at people our age, enjoying the simple pleasures that feel like fleeting luxuries in a world of endless desire that we seem cursed with."

Veyra's eyes softened as she listened, her hand finding mine in the grass. The simple gesture sent a jolt through me, both comforting and unsettling.

"I understand," she whispered. "Sometimes I feel like we're stuck in this bubble, watching the world go by without us. But moments like these…" She gestured to the field around us, bathed in the last golden rays of sunlight. "They make me think maybe we're the lucky ones."

I raised an eyebrow, quite skeptical. "Lucky? Us?"

She nodded, a hint of a rare smile over her face. "We appreciate what others take for granted. Maybe that's a gift, in it's own tragic way."

"A gift," I repeated, tasting the word. "I'm not sure I'd call it that myself. But… I see what you mean."

"It's okay to not be sure. We're still figuring things out." Veyra replied.

The sun had almost disappeared now, leaving the sky a canvas of deep purple and blue. The first stars were beginning to twinkle above us, which was quite a beautiful moment in itself.

"We should head back," I said reluctantly, not wanting this moment to end. But I knew it had to, and I knew I had to wake up.

The world around me, including Veyra, began rapidly fading to ash, including the ground below us, as I fell into an endless, black ocean void, drifting down into what felt like a bottomless ocean, like a vacuum stretching on forever. It was both terrifying and peaceful.

The sound of my own heartbeat echoed in my ears, getting faster and louder with each passing second. It was the only sound in this desolate void, a constant reminder of the emptiness inside me.

As I fell, the air rushed past my face, cold and biting. It felt like tiny needles pricking at my skin, leaving a faint numbness in their wake. It was a sensation of weightlessness, yet with a heavy weight pressing on my chest.

Despite everything, I managed to form a few tears once more, drifting off my face and into the endless, choking void. My eyes slowly close, as everything fades to black.

***

I felt a wet sensation on my face. I woke up, jolting my body up, looking around. I quickly get up, throwing on a plain shirt, and began dragging myself to the bathroom.

Once in the bathroom, I walked up to the sink, placing my arms down on each side, looking up into the mirror. Tears rolled down my eyes thinking back to the dream I just had. It felt so real, but it wasn't. I was cursed with remembering the tragedies of my past, and I now had to carry that burden for the rest of my existence.

I splashed cold water on my face, trying to wash away the lingering emotions from the dream. The icy shock helped clear my head, but the hollow ache in my chest remained. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, barely recognizing the person looking back at me.

My red eyes glowed faintly in the dim light, a constant reminder of how much had changed.

Four years. That moment was over four years ago. The few little things in life that I had appreciate we're torn away, replaced by this hollow shell in my soul. I gripped the edges of the sink, my knuckles turning white as I fought to control the surge of memories threatening to overwhelm me.

A soft knock at the front door startled me from my thoughts. "Lucian?" a muffled voice called. "Are you alright in there?"

I took a deep breath, composing myself before having to answer the door.

I splashed more water on my face, hoping to erase any visible signs of distress. More problems was exactly what I didn't need right now.

As I reached for a towel, my eyes caught sight of the small, faded scar on my left wrist—another reminder of my fateful past.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I rushed over to the door. While I didn't know exactly who it was, I had a pretty good idea. I swung open the door, and it was Edith.

"Why hello there, Lucian," she started. "I just wanted to check in after you know… last night. You seemed very stressed."

"Oh—I'm fine, don't worry. Was just a long day, but I do appreciate your concern of course." I replied.

She took a moment to answer as her eyes scanned my body from head to toe. Edith's gaze lingered, her brow furrowing slightly. "Are you sure? You look a bit… disheveled."

I forced a weak smile, running a hand through my messy hair. "Just woke up, that's all. Rough night's sleep."

She nodded, though the concern in her eyes didn't fade. "Well, if you need anything, you know where to find me. And Lucian…" She paused, seeming to choose her words carefully. "It's okay to not be okay sometimes. We all have our demons."

Her words hit closer to home than she could possibly know. I swallowed hard, fighting to maintain my composure. "Thanks, Edith. I'll keep that in mind."

***

After talking with Edith for a few more minutes, making sure that she's alright herself, I closed the door as I watched her walk away, and slumped down on the floor against the door. My jaw fell open slightly, as my eyes gazed off into the distance.

I sat there for what felt like hours, my mind a whirlwind of memories and regrets. The weight of the past four years alone pressed down on me, threatening to crush what little resolve I had left. I closed my eyes, trying to steady my breathing, but all I could see was Veyra's face, frozen in time from that day in the field.

A sudden, sharp pain in my palm jolted me back to reality. I looked down to find my nails had dug crescent-shaped marks into my skin, tiny beads of blood welling up. The sight of it made me nauseous, a stark reminder of how fragile and mortal I still was, despite everything.

With a groan, I pushed myself up from the floor, my joints protesting the movement. The apartment felt suffocating, the walls closing in around me. I needed air, space, anything to escape the oppressive memories of my past. However, I soon realized there wasn't much time for that.

I glanced at the clock on the wall, realizing that it was already 5 PM. Not only had I slept late, but I practically fell asleep again while leaning against the door.

Cursing under my breath, I hurried to get dressed, throwing on the first clean clothes I could find. I try to tidy up the best I could, making sure I looked presentable and didn't stick out like a sore thumb. After all, what good would any of this have been for if I get caught in the big moment before it even happens?

As I fumbled with the buttons on my shirt, my mind drifted back to Veyra. What would she think of me now, barely able to function in this mundane world? I felt so lost, trying to navigate through life after the event. But somehow, I'm still here.

I shook my head, trying to dispel the thought. There was no use dwelling on what-ifs and maybes. I had a job to do, a role to play in this new reality I found myself in. I finished buttoning up my shirt, and threw on a nice cloak, letting me slide my thin blade in it's sheathe on my back.

With my reckless sense of time, I raced over to the window and quickly opened it. Time was crucial in this situation. Once outside, I carefully moved along the narrow ledge towards the left where a ladder rested. After reaching the ladder, I descended until I reached the ground below. The wet concrete beneath my feet was littered with trash, but I didn't stop to notice. My focus was on getting out of the alley as quickly as possible.

I wasted no time and headed for the sidewalk. At first, my pace was slow and casual, but as I went further, my speed increased. I navigated through streets and alleys, determined to save every second I could.

After about 30 minutes, I finally arrived. it had already passed 6 PM, so I was running late. It was a fancy restaurant, one that I'd never had the luxury of going to casually. However, one thing I realized while looking through the journal, is that this is their intended first meeting. The target, Dante Vitali, has no idea what Silas looked like.

I'll use this to my advantage and play along as the Ghost, Silas. There was other people around, and witnesses would be troublesome. I needed to handle this well.

I straightened my cloak and took a deep breath, preparing myself for what was about to come. I scanned the area, looking for my target, until I found him. At the corner booth, sat Dante Vitali. I instantly recognized him as the man I was here for. No time was to be wasted.

I approached with measured steps, my heart racing despite my outward calm, along with anger boiling inside of me. As I neared his table, Dante's eyes locked onto mine. A flicker of recognition passed over his face - not of me, but of what he expected Silas to be.

"You're late," he growled, gesturing for me to sit.

I slid into the seat across from Dante, my face a mask of cool indifference. "Traffic," I replied simply, mimicking the terse style I imagined Silas would use. 

Dante's eyes narrowed, studying me intently. I met his gaze unflinchingly, channeling every ounce of confidence and menace I could muster. After a tense moment, he seemed satisfied and leaned back in his seat.

"Let's get down to business then," Dante said, his voice low. "I have a job that requires your... particular set of skills. You and your men would be quite useful, Silas."

I nodded curtly, waiting for him to continue. My fingers itched to reach for the blade hidden beneath my cloak, but I forced myself to remain still. Patience, I reminded myself. The time would come.

Dante pulled out a small envelope and slid it across the table. "Inside here is 3 different targets that I need eliminated."

I grabbed the envelope and tore it open. I pulled out many things, including photos and documents. I laid them all out, analyzing them all. There were 3 photos, one for each target. As well as that, the documents outlined their special skills, extra details about their physical appearance, personality, and other factors. All irrelevant to me.

I had to pretend to be thorough, to not raise suspicion. After taking an extra moment than I should have, just to ensure that he was under the impression I had reviewed it all, I shifted my gaze back up to him.

"I can work with this, is there anything else I need to know?" I retorted, hoping to display dominance.

"Actually, there is a few more things I'd like to go over. And of course, payment," Dante replied, evidently eager.

"Very well then, speak." I replied, starting to grow a bit impatient with this useless conversation.

***

I had conversed with Dante for a few hours, enjoying a meal, and discussing more useless plans of this assassination mission he wanted me to do for him. It all didn't matter, I just had to sell it. Every action I had to make, however small, mattered.

Finally, the night came to an end, and Dante was ready to leave. He got out of his seat, dropped some cash on the table for the check, and looked up at me. "I'll be in contact with the remaining details—and Silas, it was great meeting you." he said.

"Likewise, Dante. I look forward to working with you more in the future." I replied, trying to hide any mixed emotions I felt.

I waited for Dante to leave and walk out, and then I got up to follow him. Tonight was the night Dante, Dante Vitali had faced the consequences. After everything he did to torment me, and Veyra. I will never forgive him for that day, 11 years ago.

The day, my foster father, Dante Vitali, took me, and Veyra in, as his foster children.