This Reincarnation Requires a Subscription Fee

“Um… Subscriber,” Serlus’s once cheerful voice had grown noticeably more respectful. This reaction only confirmed my suspicion—I wasn’t just some powerless underling.

With that realization, I felt no need to hold back. 

“Yes, yes. Go ahead, speak,” I replied, deliberately sounding as disinterested as possible, making it clear that if they imposed any penalties on me, I would just stay put and refuse to move.

“We… in Heaven… recognize that your argument is valid, and… we will not impose a penalty for this death…” 

Hearing the apology, which was delivered in a much more subdued tone than the lively introduction, I stood up, satisfied.

“In the future, make sure to include such important details in the terms and conditions. That way, future subscribers won’t get confused.”

“Yes… Well, once your body readjustment is complete, you’ll be returned…”

“No?”

I quickly interrupted.

“You’re just going to apologize with words?”

“W-what…?”

“Oh, how stingy Heaven has become! The great Heaven, home to the gods, should not be this miserly!”

I sighed deeply, dramatically placing my hand on my forehead as if this were a truly lamentable situation.

“An apology should come with appropriate compensation to feel genuine, don’t you think?”

“And by that you mean…?”

As Serlus asked cautiously, I smiled slyly.

“Give me something. Anything.”

I confidently extended my hand into the empty air.

“Whether it’s Heaven Coins, an extension of my subscription period, or a reward draw ticket from donations. You have plenty to give, don’t you?”

“….”

“Oh come on, will a small—really, just a tiny bit of compensation—cause Heaven to go bankrupt? This magnificent Heaven? Surely, you can offer some compensation with sincerity.”

“….”

“What? You can’t do it? Ugh, this makes reincarnation so unappealing. Life is bitter!”

Serlus remained silent, so I flopped back down onto the ground. Then, from somewhere above, I heard the sound of teeth grinding.

‘Oh. I’ve really gotten to them.’

When you’re negotiating, making the other party this upset means you’re squeezing out every last bit you can…!

Feeling secretly pleased, I heard Serlus muttering under their breath.

“…ro…ber… thief…”

They were speaking so softly that I could barely make out the words, but it sounded like they were calling me a “robber.”

‘Ha!’

Who are they calling a robber? 

When dealing with a scoundrel, you act like a scoundrel. When dealing with a troublemaker, you act like a troublemaker. 

And if the person you’re dealing with is both a scoundrel and a troublemaker?

Well, then I just have to become an even bigger scoundrel and troublemaker!

I rolled around on the ground confidently, fully determined not to get up until I had wrung out some sort of compensation as an apology.

Realizing that I was a tough opponent who wouldn’t back down easily, perhaps even a troublemaker like them, Serlus finally spoke after a long pause.

“…Understood. We will issue compensation for the apology!”

“Yay!”

I jumped up, cheering with my hands raised in victory. At that exact moment, the white space around me suddenly shifted to black with a “pop!” Simultaneously, the ground beneath my feet gave way, and I felt myself plummet downward.

“!”

Still in the midst of my celebratory pose, I began to fall rapidly. 

‘Ahhhhhh…!’

I screamed silently as I squeezed my eyes shut, only to hear Serlus’s voice echoing in my ears.

“Your body has been readjusted, and you are now returning to reality! We hope you continue to use our Heaven’s reincarnation service actively through diligent quest completion!”

‘What?’

Is this really how I’m returning?

“What about my compensationnnnnn!”

I yelled into the void, and Serlus replied.

“The apology compensation will be delivered via a Message from Heaven! Please check the message for more details!”

With that, Serlus, who had regained their cheerful tone, concluded with a final message.

“This has been Serlus, the jack-of-all-trades in Heaven, the messenger of the gods, and the one and only idol of Heaven!”

* * *

“Ugh!”

I woke up with a start, still feeling the sensation of falling. I found myself lying on a bed. 

Thump. Thump thump.

The sound of my heart pounding echoed in my ears.

‘Now that I think about it, my heart didn’t seem to be beating in that previous space.’

It was a sign that the place I had been in was not the same as this reality. I placed a hand over my chest, feeling the strong rhythm of my heartbeat as I slowly sat up. If Serlus’s words were anything to go by, it seemed I had died from the impact of the carriage accident…

‘But why am I indoors?’

I looked around, puzzled. When the carriage had tumbled down the cliff, I had been tightly bound, but now there was nothing restraining me. The gag that had been in my mouth was also gone.

The surroundings were familiar. I was in the Sapphire Room of the Elpinard estate. It seemed to be late at night, as darkness filled the room, though a few candles were burning, providing just enough light to see. The atmosphere was calm and peaceful.

As I tilted my head in confusion, trying to make sense of it all, the firmly closed door opened. The person who entered was Lily, her face full of worry, carrying a bundle of clean towels. She sighed deeply as she walked in, but when she saw me sitting up in bed, wide-eyed, she opened her eyes wide in surprise.

“Hi there,” I said, waving my hand. Lily was so startled that the towels she was holding slipped from her hands and fell to the floor.

“Young Lady!” Lily rushed over to me in a heartbeat. “You’re awake? Oh, heavens! You have no idea how worried I’ve been. Priests, of all people, following the will of the gods, resorting to kidnapping! How could they commit such a dreadful act…?”

Lily knelt by the bedside, carefully examining me from head to toe, her worry palpable.

“It would be best to call the doctor immediately, but that quack was dismissed by the Duke… We’re bringing a physician from the village, so please wait a little longer.”

I’d heard that the personal physician of a noble family typically served across generations, so why had ours been suddenly dismissed? Curious, I tilted my head, and Lily, usually so composed, raised her voice in rare agitation.

“That insane doctor claimed that you weren’t breathing and that your heart wasn’t beating! What nonsense!”

‘A true expert…’

Considering that I had actually died, the doctor’s diagnosis had been spot on. Dismissing him for telling the truth seemed unjust.

‘I’ll have to ask Axel later to make sure the doctor gets reinstated.’

First things first, though—I needed to get a handle on the situation. I turned to Lily and asked, “How did I end up here?”

* * *

“So, to sum it up…”

I stroked my chin as I pieced together the story Axel had told me.

A massive pillar of light rose from the Elpinard Duchy, visible across the entire continent.

The pillar of light didn’t disappear for several hours.

When the pillar finally vanished, a wagon suddenly appeared with a flash in the garden of the Elpinard estate!

‘And… inside that wagon were Bael and me, both unconscious.’

Amazingly, both of us were completely uninjured, not even a scratch.

‘And the ones who carried out the kidnapping were also found sprawled around the wagon…’

Although they were unconscious, they were otherwise unharmed. The Duke had them all captured and locked up in the underground cells.

“The problem is that we can’t prosecute the priests of Kydsha under imperial law,” Axel said, looking irritated as he glanced at Bael, who was sitting beside him.

“Kydsha’s priests have extraterritorial rights,” Bael responded with an awkward, apologetic smile.

Knowing they couldn’t be punished even if caught must have given them the audacity to carry out the kidnapping so boldly.

Bael made the sign of the cross and clasped his hands together as if in prayer.

“They have pledged their lives to the service of God, so their sins and punishments rest with the heavens. Surely, the gods will bring judgment upon them.”