The Scum Emperor's Redemption System

Argider stood in the center of her bedchamber, looking at the five women seated—or rather, scattered—around the room. Each had been carefully selected for this night, but not by her. They said to not overwhelm Argider, she would entertain five wives at a time.

Oh no, it was apparently the "elders" of the court who thought that having five vastly different personalities in one room was a brilliant idea. This is fine, Argider thought, though her twitching eye said otherwise. Just five wives. How bad could it be?

The answer came swiftly in the form of Talia Renvik, the widow, who sat perched primly on a chaise lounge. Her eyes carried an air of skepticism as she surveyed Argider. "So," she said, her tone clipped, "are we all just supposed to sit here and wait for you to…pick one of us?"

"Pick?" Argider squeaked, her voice an octave higher than usual. "What do you mean pick? We're just talking, right? Like, chatting. Getting to know each other better!"

"Oh, thank the Gods," Sylva Arathorn, the botanist, piped up, visibly relieved. "I was worried this was going to get… you know." She gestured vaguely, her freckled face going red.

"You're adorable," Viora Stellwyn, the artist, chimed in, leaning lazily against a bedpost. "But I came here expecting something dramatic. Don't tell me this is going to be boring."

Argider blinked, her panic setting in. "Boring? No! Not boring! I'm, uh, extremely entertaining. Watch this!" She flailed her arms in what could only be described as a bizarre attempt at a flourish. The women stared, unimpressed.

"Was that supposed to be a magic trick?" Kassandra Vaelle, the herbalist, asked dryly, adjusting her glasses.

Amara Voss, the merchant's daughter, leaned forward, her dark curls bouncing. "Give her a break. It's not every day you marry fourteen women. I'm surprised she's still standing."

Viora tilted her head, her artist's eye scanning Argider like she was a live model. "You know," she said thoughtfully, "you really are stunning as a woman. Almost unfairly so."

"Stunning?" Argider repeated, flustered.

"Oh, absolutely," Viora said, smirking. "Those cheekbones? That jawline? You'd make a goddess jealous."

Argider flushed, scratching the back of her neck. "Uh, thanks? I guess?"

"Do you feel any different?" Sylva asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. "I mean, with the whole…transformation thing?"

Argider hesitated. "Different? Uh, well, I do cry a lot more now."

Talia raised an eyebrow. "That's not because you're a woman, dear. That's because your life is a mess."

The room erupted into laughter, and even Argider couldn't help but chuckle nervously.

Talia, ever the pragmatist, tapped her chin. "You know, I don't see how this arrangement is going to work. You're one person, and we're—how many now? Fourteen?"

"Fifteen, if you count the empire," Kassandra muttered, earning a snicker from Amara.

"Well, I didn't exactly plan this," Argider retorted, throwing up her hands. "Do you think I woke up one morning and said, 'Hey, I'd like to marry an entire council's worth of women?'"

Talia gave her a pointed look. "Did you wake up and say, 'Hey, I'd like to get cursed and become a woman?' Because that's what it sounds like."

"That was not on my agenda either!" Argider exclaimed, her cheeks burning.

Amara, ever the opportunist, leaned forward with a grin. "You know, Your Majesty, this could work out quite nicely. I mean, think of the alliances we can make. You'll be the most networked emperor—or empress?—in history."

"Fantastic," Argider deadpanned. "I'll put that on my tombstone: 'Most networked monarch. Died of exhaustion.'"

Amara giggled, clearly enjoying herself. "Oh, don't be so dramatic. You'll have plenty of us to help you."

"You say that," Argider muttered, "but I feel like you're all going to turn this into a competition."

Viora, lounging as if this were her studio, gestured to Argider's outfit. "Speaking of competitions, who picked that gown for you? It's tragic."

Argider blinked. "What's wrong with it?"

"It doesn't suit your new figure," Viora said matter-of-factly. "If I were dressing you, you'd look like a queen—not someone who raided their grandmother's wardrobe."

"Noted," Argider said dryly. "I'll consult you next time I have a wardrobe crisis."

"You'd better," Viora shot back. "A canvas deserves the right frame, after all."

Sylva, who had been examining a potted plant in the corner, suddenly perked up. "Do you think the curse affected your ability to have children?"

The room fell silent.

"Sylva!" Talia hissed, mortified.

"What? It's a valid question!" Sylva protested.

Argider buried her face in her hands. "Why is this my life?"

After an hour of banter, Argider was ready to throw herself out the nearest window. "All right," she said, clapping her hands. "This has been lovely, but I think it's time we all got some sleep."

"Sleep?" Viora echoed, raising an eyebrow. "You're not kicking us out, are you?"

Argider froze. "No! Of course not! I just meant—uh—rest! For everyone! In…separate rooms?"

Talia crossed her arms. "You do realize this is supposed to be your wedding night, right?"

Argider groaned. "I'm aware. Believe me, I'm aware."

Eventually, all five women ended up on the massive bed, much to Argider's dismay.

"I don't think this is how it's supposed to go," Argider mumbled, squished between Sylva and Kassandra.

"Relax," Kassandra said, patting her shoulder. "It's not like anyone's expecting anything…untoward."

"Speak for yourself," Viora quipped, earning a pillow to the face from Talia.

Sylva giggled. "This is kind of cozy, though."

"For you, maybe," Argider grumbled. "I can't move my arms!"

Amara snickered from the foot of the bed. "Well, Your Majesty, welcome to married life."

Argider sighed, staring at the ceiling. "Fourteen wives. What could possibly go wrong?"

Curiosity Killed the Emperor's Peace of Mind

As Argider sat stiffly on the oversized bed, surrounded by five of her new wives, she couldn't help but feel like a deer trapped in the headlights of a runaway carriage. The air was heavy with an awkward mix of curiosity and intrigue, and it didn't help that Sylva was staring at her with the intensity of a scholar dissecting a rare flower.

"So," Sylva began, pushing her glasses up her nose. "Technically, you're both a man and a woman now, right?"

Argider coughed. "Uh, sure. Technically. Kind of. I guess?"

"Fascinating," Kassandra said, leaning closer, her herbalist instincts clearly kicking in. "Do you feel like your inner humors have changed? You know, like…is your temperament more melancholic or sanguine now?"

"What?" Argider blinked. "I—what does that even mean?"

"She's asking if you're moodier now," Talia said with a smirk, her arms crossed as she leaned against the bedpost.

Argider frowned. "I'm not moody! I'm just…adjusting!"

"Oh, definitely moody," Viora teased, sketching an imaginary portrait in the air. "But in a very artistically tragic way. You'd make a great muse."

"I'm not a muse! I'm an emperor—empress—whatever!" Argider snapped, throwing up her hands. "Can we focus on something else, please?"

Amara, ever the opportunist, leaned forward with a sly grin. "You know, I think what Sylva's trying to say is that you're…unique. Most of us here"—she gestured to the group—"have only ever been with men. Romantically, I mean."

Argider's face turned crimson. "Oh, great. This conversation is exactly what I needed."

"But you are unique," Sylva continued, her cheeks slightly pink. "I mean, you used to be a man, and now you're a woman. It's…different. Intriguing."

"Uh-huh," Argider said nervously, edging away from her.

"Don't worry," Sylva reassured her, inching closer. "This is purely for scientific purposes."

"Scientific pur—what are you—" Argider's words were cut off as Sylva leaned in and kissed her.

It wasn't a passionate kiss or even a romantic one. It was quick, experimental, like a curious child licking a strange fruit for the first time.

The room fell silent.

Then chaos erupted.

"Sylva!" Talia exclaimed, her voice a mix of scandalized and amused. "What in God's name was that?!"

"Are we doing that now?" Viora asked, raising an eyebrow. "Should we all take turns, or…?"

"Absolutely not!" Argider yelped, her face as red as a ripe tomato.

"I was just curious!" Sylva protested, looking sheepish but unapologetic. "I mean, she said we didn't have to force ourselves into anything, but…you're so fascinating, Your Majesty!"

"This is not how curiosity works!" Argider exclaimed, flailing her arms.

Amara leaned back, clearly enjoying the show. "Well, I can't say I wasn't curious too. But I thought we were supposed to take it slow?"

Kassandra sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You don't just kiss someone to satisfy your curiosity, Sylva."

"Oh, like you weren't thinking about it," Sylva shot back, crossing her arms.

Kassandra opened her mouth to retort but promptly closed it, her cheeks turning pink.

"Well," Viora said, sitting up straighter and giving Argider a teasing grin. "Since the floodgates are open…"

"Nope!" Argider interrupted, holding up a hand. "The floodgates are closed. Very, very closed."

"Come on," Viora teased, leaning closer. "You can't blame us for being curious. You're a former man who's now a stunning woman. It's like…a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."

"I am not an opportunity!" Argider said, scandalized.

"You're kind of an opportunity," Amara said with a smirk.

"Talia, help me out here!" Argider pleaded, looking desperately at the widow, who had been watching the chaos unfold with an air of detached amusement.

Talia shrugged. "I'm just here for the entertainment at this point."

Argider groaned, burying her face in her hands. "Why me? Why is it always me?"