The One Punch Man (a.k.a Saitama) in Demon Slayer

The pale moon hung high in the sky, casting its ghostly glow over the forest. Somewhere within the shadows, two figures crouched low behind thick bushes, barely breathing. These were no ordinary beings — they were Upper Moon Five Gyokko and Upper Moon Four Hantengu.

Muzan had ordered them to gather information on the strange bald man who had embarrassed Akaza. However, neither of these demons had expected their terrifying mission to involve… hiding behind bushes, trembling in fear.

"Why… why do I have to do this?" Hantengu whined, his fingers clutching the leaves like a lifeline. "He's scary! He punched Akaza like swatting a fly!"

Gyokko sneered, though he didn't feel much braver. "Don't be pathetic. We are Upper Moons. Spying on one human should be a piece of cake."

But deep down, Gyokko's pot-shaped body shivered with unease. When Akaza had returned from his encounter, the look in his eyes wasn't anger or shame — it was pure fear. For Akaza, who relished battle, to fear a bald human? That was enough to rattle even Gyokko.

They peeked through the foliage, gazing at the brightly lit Butterfly Mansion in the distance. Laughter and warm light spilled from the windows as demon slayers gathered for dinner.

At the center of it all sat the bald man himself — Saitama — casually holding a rice bowl in one hand and chopsticks in the other. His expression was blank, his eyes half-lidded in that same bored way they always were.

"This… this is the monster?" Gyokko hissed. "He looks like a regular guy."

Hantengu's lip quivered. "That's what makes him scary! Regular humans aren't supposed to split the earth with a punch! What kind of training did he do to become like that?!"

As if hearing their whispered fear, Saitama suddenly turned his head — directly at the bush they were hiding behind.

Both demons froze.

"Hmm?" Saitama squinted into the darkness, his bland expression unchanged.

Hantengu almost screamed. "He saw us! We're dead! We're so dead!"

"Shut up, you coward!" Gyokko slapped Hantengu's trembling arm. "Stay calm. Humans can't see us this far away—"

"Hey, you two." Saitama's voice rang out, clear and casual. "Why are you hiding there? You wanna join for dinner?"

Both demons' souls nearly left their bodies. He sensed us?! From that distance?!

"No, no, no, no!" Hantengu curled into a ball, muttering to himself. "I'm not here! I'm invisible! I'm a leaf! A tiny leaf floating in the wind—"

Gyokko hissed in frustration. "Pull yourself together, you disgrace! If we retreat now, Muzan will tear us apart!"

But it was too late — Saitama stood right in front of them, having crossed the distance instantly without either demon noticing. His slippers barely made a sound on the grass.

"You guys lost or something?" Saitama asked, scratching his bald head. "It's dangerous out here at night. There's demons, y'know."

The irony was so painful that Gyokko wanted to scream. We ARE the demons!

"We— we're just travelers!" Gyokko blurted, desperately trying to think on his feet. "We— uh— got separated from our group!"

Saitama stared at them for a long, awkward moment. His expression didn't change.

"You're ugly travelers."

Gyokko's ceramic face cracked a little. "W-what?!"

"Your head looks like a cursed pot." Saitama pointed bluntly at Gyokko. "And you…" His finger moved to Hantengu, who was still shivering violently. "You look like you just saw a ghost, wet your pants, and forgot how to breathe."

Hantengu actually began crying.

"This— this isn't going how it should!" Gyokko snapped. "We're Upper Moons! Fear us, bald human!"

"Upper… Moons?" Saitama's head tilted slightly. "Is that like a ramen shop or something?"

Gyokko's pride shattered into tiny shards. "NO! We are elite demons, the strongest of Muzan-sama's forces!"

"Muzan…" Saitama tapped his chin. "Oh, you mean that Michael Jackson wannabe?"

Hantengu's jaw dropped in sheer disbelief at the insult, while Gyokko's rage boiled over. "You—you bald ape! How dare you mock our master!"

"Relax." Saitama sighed. "I'm not interested in fighting you guys right now. I just ate. Fighting on a full stomach gives me heartburn."

Before either demon could process this ridiculous excuse, the door to the mansion slid open, and Shinobu Kocho stepped out, smiling brightly.

"Oh my, Sensei! Are you talking to… guests?"

Gyokko and Hantengu froze under her gaze, feeling a completely different sense of dread.

Saitama waved a hand lazily. "Nah, just some ugly travelers. They're lost or something."

Shinobu's smile never wavered, but her grip tightened on her sword. "Lost travelers outside this late… how suspicious."

Gyokko panicked. "W-we're leaving! Right now! Goodbye forever!"

He grabbed Hantengu and activated his blood demon art, vanishing into a whirl of distorted water.

Shinobu blinked. "That was… odd."

"Eh." Saitama shrugged. "Not my problem."

Inside the fleeing whirlpool, Gyokko was seething. "That bald freak is terrifying! He saw through everything instantly!"

Hantengu sobbed. "I told you! We're doomed! We can't fight someone like him! He's not human—he's a bald god of destruction!"

Gyokko shuddered. What kind of training turns a man into this?

Back at the mansion, Saitama yawned and rubbed his belly. "Man, I could go for some ramen now."

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End of chapter

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