The Multiversal Misadventures of Max

The SS Quantum Disaster shot through space at full speed, the engines whining in protest as Max desperately tried to put as much distance as possible between himself and Outpost 217.

Inside the cockpit, Max gripped the controls, sweat beading on his forehead. "Bob, tell me we lost them."

B.O.B.'s voice responded with its usual unsettling calm. "Scanning… Negative. You have not lost them. In fact, you now have three bounty hunter ships on your tail."

Max groaned. "Why is it never just one?"

"Because you have acquired a bounty large enough to make this chase worth their time."

Max blinked. "Wait. Bounty? How much am I worth?"

A screen flickered to life in front of him, displaying a WANTED poster with his own confused-looking face. The text below read:

"WANTED: MAX MILLER"

CRIMES:

Theft of a Galactic Federation Starship

Unauthorized AI Activation

Excessive Use of Fruit-Based Weaponry

General Nuisance to the Multiverse

BOUNTY: 50,000 FEDERAN CREDITS

Max's jaw dropped. "Fifty thousand credits?!"

B.O.B. beeped. "That is roughly equivalent to ten years of high-quality space vacations. Or one extremely overpriced coffee on Nebula Prime."

Max rubbed his temples. "I hate this universe."

"Shall I engage evasive maneuvers?"

"YES, PLEASE!"

The ship lurched to the side as B.O.B. activated emergency thrusters. A moment later, red warning lights flashed across the console.

"Warning: The ship's hull integrity is at 89%."

Max's stomach dropped. "Wait, why? What's happening?"

"The bounty hunters are opening fire."

Max snapped his head toward the rear camera feed. Sure enough, three sleek, heavily armed fighter ships were closing in, laser cannons lighting up.

And Max? He had no weapons.

He gulped. "Bob, tell me we have something to fight back with!"

"Affirmative! We have a Quantum Disruptor Cannon capable of destroying small moons!"

"YES! USE IT!"

"Negative. It is out of battery."

Max stared at the screen. "YOU'RE TELLING ME I HAVE A PLANET-BUSTER CANNON AND IT DOESN'T EVEN WORK?!"

"That is correct."

Max groaned and slammed his head against the console.

A warning klaxon blared.

"Incoming missile detected."

Max's eyes widened. "MISSILE? BOB, DO SOMETHING!"

"Executing countermeasure."

The ship's rear hatch opened… and ejected a single banana.

Max froze. "Bob. What the hell."

The missile made contact with the banana. There was a split-second pause.

Then—

BOOM.

The missile detonated instantly as the banana exploded in a blinding yellow fireball, sending the bounty hunter ships spiraling out of control.

Max gawked at the screen. "DID—DID WE JUST WIN WITH A BANANA?!"

"Affirmative."

Max leaned back in his seat, staring at his hands. "Okay. Maybe this universe isn't so bad."

[NEW TITLE UNLOCKED: BANANA BOMBER]

Max groaned. "Oh, come on!"

---

A Temporary Breather

After the bounty hunters had either fled or crashed into each other (seriously, Max was starting to think space people had terrible driving skills), the SS Quantum Disaster finally reached safe space.

Max sighed in relief and slumped into his chair. "Alright, Bob, let's not get hunted down for at least five minutes. What's the closest planet where I won't get immediately arrested?"

B.O.B. beeped. "Calculating… Destination selected: Velbraxis-9, a neutral trade planet."

"Perfect. Plot a course."

As the ship entered hyper-speed, Max finally had a moment to breathe. He leaned back, rubbing his face.

"Okay. Time to get some actual answers. Bob, what exactly is the power structure of this universe? Like, who's in charge?"

B.O.B. processed for a moment before displaying a holographic chart in front of him.

The Universal Power Structure:

1. The Galactic Federation – The biggest, most bureaucratic, and most annoying government in the universe. Controls most civilized planets, loves paperwork, and has a zero-tolerance policy for "unregistered anomalies" (which probably includes Max).

2. The Dominion of Zorvax – A warmongering empire of cybernetic lizard people. Frequently tries to invade things for no reason. Their current leader, Supreme Commander Xyrax, is known for his obsession with collecting rare skulls.

3. The Syndicate – A massive crime organization that controls illegal trade, smuggling, and bounty hunters. They technically don't run the universe, but most planets have to deal with them anyway.

4. The Elders of the Void – No one really knows what they are, but they apparently exist beyond space and time and enjoy meddling with the universe for fun.

Max frowned at the last one. "So… basically, a bunch of cryptic space gods?"

"Correct."

Max rubbed his chin. "And where do I fit into this mess?"

"Currently? Nowhere. You are an unregistered anomaly."

Max sighed. "Wonderful. Love that for me."

"However," B.O.B. added, "if you continue on your current trajectory, you will likely attract attention from all of them."

Max froze. "Wait. What?"

"Based on your absurd luck, unpredictable abilities, and recent bounty, it is only a matter of time before the major factions start taking notice of you."

Max stared at the hologram. "…Okay. That's terrifying."

He exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. "Alright. First things first—I need to figure out my System, because if my only power is 'fruit-based war crimes,' I'm doomed."

The System beeped.

[NEW QUEST: Unlock and Master Your Powers]

Find a way to properly access the System's abilities.

Figure out why the System is bugged.

Try not to explode.

Max sighed. "That last one feels kinda unnecessary."

[ERROR: Statistically, it is very necessary.]

Max groaned. "Of course it is."

As the ship approached Velbraxis-9, Max braced himself.

He had no idea what was waiting for him on this next planet, but one thing was certain:

His life was only going to get weirder.