The Lord Just Wants to Have Fun

The Harvest Season.

It was a joyous and meaningful time when farmers reaped the rewards of their hard work.

This year was particularly special—after three years of drought, a bountiful harvest had finally arrived. The farmers in the fields swung their sickles with elation, and the women preparing for the festival were just as lively and excited.

Yet, while the entire territory was caught up in the cheerful atmosphere, Philip was in his research lab.

‘Finally, I’ve gathered all the points.’

As he mentally summoned the Golden Hammer skill, a massive anvil and a golden hammer materialized before him.

Curious about the long-dormant skill, Mau appeared beside him.

< What are you making, Apostle? >

“A specialized accessory for firearms.”

< What’s that, you gun-obsessed nerd? Explain properly. >

“You’ll see.”

Philip placed the prepared materials onto the anvil and envisioned the object he wanted to create.

A translucent system prompt appeared before his eyes.

[Crafting this item will consume 5,000 points. To proceed, strike the Golden Hammer.]

‘Why the hell is this accessory more expensive than a musket?’

It was costly because of the boost it would provide to the firearm’s performance.

Still, as a perpetual point-starved individual, he couldn’t help but grumble.

CLAAAANG—!

As Philip swung the Golden Hammer, golden light flared in all directions.

When the light subsided, the item on the anvil was revealed.

A sniper scope.

‘Its performance is nowhere near modern scopes, but even a 4x magnification is good enough.’

Just attaching a 4x scope would double the effective range and accuracy of his musket.

‘And if I apply percussion caps, my firing speed would double, too…’

However, percussion caps required fulminate, which had to be produced first.

Unlike with the Golden Hammer, mass-producing fulminate through the skill was impossible. He would have to make it manually—and that was tricky.

Fulminate was even more hazardous and complex to manufacture than black powder.

Thus, Philip planned to hire a magician or alchemist with knowledge of chemistry to handle the production.

‘Finding a capable magician won’t be easy, huh? I should recruit talent through Mercury Trading Company once it’s fully established.’

For now, though, the priority was to test the scope’s effectiveness.

Raising the scope to his eye, Philip peered out the window—then smirked.

Far away, at the temple’s bell tower, a young apprentice priest was sneaking a cigarette.

‘Good enough. Now, time for an actual field test.’

Philip was about to attach the scope to his custom musket and head out when—

BANG!

The door burst open, and Helen stormed in.

“My lord, it’s time for the trial! What are you doing here? Magistrate Halder is waiting for you!”

“What? It’s that time already?”

“Yes! Everyone’s waiting, so hurry up!”

At Helen’s urgent urging, Philip reluctantly postponed his shooting trial and headed to the courtroom.

*****

In the medieval system, a lord held administrative, legislative, and judicial powers over his territory.

Laterran, much like medieval Earth, was no exception.

Minor crimes were handled by village chiefs or magistrates, but major offenses or ambiguous cases required the lord’s direct judgment.

Philip, now somewhat experienced in presiding over trials, sat with a solemn expression, gazing at the kneeling criminal before him.

“What crime has this man committed?”

Magistrate Halder answered.

“My lord, he set fire to a warehouse while intoxicated.”

Philip’s gaze sharpened instantly.

Most of the buildings in his territory were made of wood and earth, making them highly vulnerable to fire.

With no fire-fighting infrastructure in place, a blaze could easily escalate, causing severe property damage and loss of life.

Thus, arson was considered a crime on par with murder.

‘Looks like I’ll need to develop firefighting equipment in the future.’

A manual fire pump wagon carrying a water tank could significantly reduce fire damage.

As Philip mulled over potential solutions, the accused shuffled forward on his knees and pleaded.

“My lord, I beg for your mercy! My wife wouldn’t let me in because I reeked of alcohol…”

“So you got nagged and decided to burn everything down in a fit of rage?”

“N-No, my lord! I only went into the warehouse to sleep, but it was too dark, so I lit a small fire to see…”

In other words, it wasn’t arson, but negligence.

There were multiple witness testimonies confirming that the accused had frantically tried to extinguish the fire.

Even so, he could not escape punishment.

Regardless of whether it was arson or an accident, the fire had completely destroyed a neighboring house, and four people had been injured.

“Magistrate, what is the standard punishment in this case?”

“For arson, the law mandates death by fire. Those who recklessly play with fire must be judged by it.”

The accused turned deathly pale.

With a desperate look, he gazed pleadingly at Philip.

“This case is an accident, not intentional arson. Administer twenty lashes and sentence him to five years of labor in the coal mines.”

“T-Thank you, my lord!“

Perhaps relieved just to be spared execution, the man repeatedly bowed his head.

Thus, the first trial concluded.

Then, the second case began—this time, a property dispute between a knightly family.

“My lord, this black stallion was promised to me by our late father! But my elder brother insists it belongs to him.”

“Primogeniture is the legal principle. However, my younger brother already inherited 500 Dalant worth of estate. Now he lies, trying to take even our father’s beloved horse!”

“But Father promised me the horse!”

“Shut up! I never heard of such a thing!”

The two brothers argued bitterly before Philip.

The problem was that their father had left no will.

According to inheritance law, the horse should go to the elder son.

However, Philip disliked making an unfair ruling.

So, he decided to use a certain tactic.

“Kill the horse and divide its hide and meat equally between the two of you.”

At this point, one of them should recoil in horror, saying something like:
“I can’t bear to see my father’s beloved steed die! I’ll concede!”

Then, Philip would acknowledge that brother’s sincerity and award him the horse.

‘Hmph, this is Solomon’s Judgment in action.’

< Uh, Apostle… They’re actually agreeing to it. >

Philip blinked.

Indeed, just as Mau said, the brothers nodded as if they accepted the ruling.

“Well, it’s an old horse anyway…”

“Yeah, I’d rather eat it than let you have it whole.”

‘These bastards—!’

Philip’s brow twitched in irritation, just as—

“Neighhhhhh!”

The black stallion cried out.

The intelligent creature seemed to understand what was happening.

Large tears welled up in its eyes and trickled down its face.

Philip, struck by the sorrowful sight, felt sympathy for the horse—and distaste for the brothers.

“Disgusting. A knight should respect his horse! Yet you two dare treat the faithful steed that served your father as mere meat?!”

“My lord, w-we never became knights because we lacked talent in swordplay—”

“Silence! You have no right to inherit this horse. Begone!”

And so, Philip banished the greedy brothers.

The stallion was confiscated and sent to the lord’s stables instead.

“How can people be worse than animals?!” Philip huffed.

Seeing his frustration, Helen approached with a cup of freshly brewed coffee.

“My lord, have some coffee and calm down.”

As he sipped, Philip’s expression remained exasperated.

‘What a waste of time. I can’t even enjoy my hobbies because of this nonsense. I really need to establish a proper separation of powers…’

At times like these, he envied bureaucratic nobles who had no land to govern.

Great feudal lords enjoyed king-like authority over their lands, but that also meant crushing responsibilities.

‘Then again, thanks to this authority, I can do whatever I want…’

His thoughts were interrupted as the third trial began.

The accused this time was a young farmer from a village near the lord’s castle.

A tax collector with a bruised eye pointed at him furiously.

“My lord! This man, Zach, stole wheat from your fields and even assaulted me while I was collecting taxes in your name! He should be beheaded immediately!”

Philip frowned.

His voice turned ice-cold.

“You, a mere tax collector, dare to command your lord?”

“A-Ah! N-No, my lord! I merely meant—”

Realizing his mistake, the tax collector broke out in a cold sweat.

Philip found himself slightly amused by how people now trembled before him.

Back on Earth, he had been just an average YouTube streamer.

Now, he was a lord who held people’s lives in his hands.

‘Well, as long as I’m not a tyrant, it’s fine.’

Turning his gaze to the young farmer, Zach, Philip asked,

“Is what the tax collector said true?”

The young man, bound and kneeling, wore an expression of frustration and anger.

“I did not steal! That man started nitpicking at me, and in the heat of the moment, I did throw a punch.”

“Nonsense, my lord! I saw him taking the grain with my own eyes!”

“I was only picking up fallen wheat ears from the ground!”

“Ha! That’s just an excuse! He made sure the stalks fell on purpose, just like those sneaky peasants always do!”

“What? Peasant? You better watch your mouth!”

Zach jumped to his feet in fury.

In this world, all land belonged to nobles or the lord, and farmers were considered peasants or serfs.

But the farmers themselves despised the term.

They considered themselves free men, not slaves.

“Silence! How dare you raise your voice?!”

Philip’s sharp command immediately quieted them both.

He then turned to Magistrate Halder.

The old magistrate sighed, as if this kind of dispute was all too common.

“My lord, by law, all harvested grain from your fields belongs to you. However, it is considered a virtue to allow farmers to collect the fallen wheat stalks, as they are the ones who tilled the land.”

“That aligns with my knowledge. But what if he did do it on purpose?”

“If intentional, he would be punished. But proving intent is difficult.”

Most witnesses would be fellow farmers, who would likely side with Zach.

Philip sighed inwardly.

‘Yeah… If I don’t reform the land system, these issues will never stop.’

It didn’t even matter whether Zach was guilty or not.

As long as the current land and tax policies remained, similar cases would keep happening.

Philip made his ruling.

“Zach is guilty of assault. He will serve three months of forced labor.”

The tax collector, who had been smirking, seemed pleased—until Philip turned his sharp gaze on him.

“You seem very thorough in your observations. I wonder if you are just as thorough in record keeping.”

“Eh? M-My lord, the records—”

“Submit all tax records to Treasurer Buchini by the end of the day.”

“A-Ah… Understood, my lord.”

The man’s face turned pale.

Watching him stagger as he left, Philip smirked.

‘Yep, that bastard’s been skimming off the top.’

Turning to Helen, he instructed,

“Tell Buchini to investigate every single asset in that man’s household—down to the last spoon.”

“Understood, my lord.”

Trying to embezzle from his estate?

Not a chance.

After dealing with several more cases, Philip finally grabbed his musket—now equipped with the newly crafted scope—and headed to the hunting grounds for a live-fire test.

However, as he rode out, something caught his eye.

The golden wheat fields stretched before him.

“This year’s crops seem better since the rain came on time,” Terry commented.

“Yeah… but something’s off.”

Philip dismounted and took a closer look.

The fields being harvested had patches of weeds sprouting between the wheat.

Sparrows and grasshoppers darted through the stalks unchecked.

It was clear that the farmers had been careless.

The way the grain was stacked also looked messy and inefficient.

It was obvious they were half-hearted about their work.

However, when Philip turned his gaze elsewhere, he saw a stark contrast.

A different plot of land was perfectly cultivated.

Not a single weed was in sight.

The wheat was full, golden, and thriving.

The farmers working there handled the crops with great care, ensuring an orderly and efficient harvest.

‘Well, of course, they’re diligent.’

Philip already knew the reason from what Jude had told him.

After completing his weapons testing at the hunting grounds, Philip returned to the lord’s hall and summoned Boris, the Agricultural Minister.

“Send messengers to every village chief. Tell them to gather at the lord’s hall tomorrow afternoon. I have an announcement to make.”