The Knight of Clingy Young Ladies

035.

In the North, it’s not easy to escape the fetters of being a woman.

Serasie could confidently say she understood that statement the best.

-Voices must be softer, my lady.

-Always act modestly; a good partner will prefer a delicate woman.

-You lack talent in swordsmanship. With a body like yours, even armor would be a burden.

“…”

Woman, woman, woman.

This damned notion of womanhood.

In the North, is there not even a place for a woman to stand?

Even so, she was the eldest daughter of the illustrious Hiart Dukes.

-Memorize everything and have it ready by today; you’ll be tested.

The older brother, who was the favored child of the family, would drop stacks of cultured books onto her desk.

-Tsk. You should at least cover your hair. It’s ominous.

She was terrified.

Of the person called ‘older brother,’ the person called ‘father,’ and the weight of the family.

Because even the slightest resistance felt like it would lead to expulsion.

There were times when she cried quietly, reading through those countless volumes of etiquette and cultural knowledge.

In that grand mansion, she had no one on her side.

-Farewell, sister…

Another woman in her family, her younger sister, had already resigned herself.

Her younger sister, who still had so many dreams, was married off early to a young viscount who had a secured future.

Thinking about their wedding…

It didn’t feel…

Good.

That was, at least, what she thought.

*

It seemed around the time the coming-of-age ceremony was approaching.

Definitely around then, the older brother took away the maid she had gotten close to.

-Miss!

Where are you taking her?

Her brother responded like this: focus on preparing yourself to marry an appropriate man for the coming-of-age ceremony.

Perhaps because it was her first real attachment,

She had to make significant efforts to find out what had happened to that maid.

They said the maid had been sold as a slave to some noble family.

That was probably when something within Serasie hit its limit.

For the first time, she rebelled.

Against the studies she didn’t like, against the etiquette lessons, against whatever the family forced upon her.

She threw the cultured books away, screamed hoarsely without even trying to maintain that gentle voice, and devoted her life to magic instead of swordsmanship.

Since she caused so much chaos within the mansion, she had to bear the repercussions alone.

The father’s favor grew even stronger, and the older brother even attempted to pull out her hair.

It didn’t matter.

She celebrated her coming-of-age ceremony without the family’s support and bolted straight out of the social circle.

When she independently mastered second-tier magic, tears streamed down her face again.

Even so, she was fine.

She thought those tears had definitely carried a different meaning by then.

Day by day,

The manor was filled with nothing but enemies.

People from the family, people from the father, people from Toren.

There was no one who belonged to ‘me,’ and yet she stood in Toren’s way.

She feared what might happen if that piece of trash became the head of the family.

Fortunately, there were many in the family who claimed neutrality.

Though she knew they weren’t truly neutral but were instead looking for opportunities, it still didn’t matter.

She herself needed people she could use and discard as necessary.

People who had started with her like Makbel or Kradess wouldn’t do; they couldn’t be trusted.

The walls around her heart had been closed off for a long time.

She didn’t tell her father about Toren’s activities.

Whether he knew or not, she understood that would be a frightening reality.

If, by some real chance,

Her father knew about Toren’s deeds but chose to ignore them,

She didn’t have the courage to retain her sanity.

She didn’t expect the convenient scenario where reporting Toren would infuriate her father, resulting in his downfall.

Instead, she only worked hard.

But if effort alone could make everything possible,

If such a dream soaked in delusions were possible,

Perhaps she wouldn’t have needed to close off those walls around her heart.

-Hee… Hee…

The scorching heat she felt on her cheeks.

She still remembered the incident when a knight she had begun to trust, to the point she assigned him as her guard, attacked her in the middle of the night.

It was the first time she had ever used magic to take a life.

That event became the turning point.

Those who had any contact or conversations with Toren would either turn against her or target her.

Toren’s face would appear calm during the day, but at night,

It felt as if she were walking through the pits of hell.

Sleep diminished gradually.

She became suspicious of everything.

The walls of her heart grew even stronger.

People she had entrusted her heart to would leave.

That trust would turn back and aim itself at her instead.

She felt like she was going crazy.

The extreme anxiety and mistrust made her feel on the verge of a breakdown.

Day by day.

As the faces appearing in the meeting hall diminished, her own face lost all expression.

Instead, she wore a mask.

Because it was quite effective, she could convince herself.

She hadn’t betrayed anyone; she had been betrayed.

She wasn’t hurt; she just regretted the loss of influence.

Fortunately, the etiquette education she had unwillingly learned allowed her to perfectly embellish the mask.

With a gentle and smooth voice,

With elegance and soft demeanor,

And with a shy, faint smile.

The mask was her other self.

It allowed her to navigate outside the walls of her heart,

As her other self.

*

After creating the mask, she no longer got hurt.

Although occasionally, she got confused as to which was the real “her,”

It didn’t matter much.

The one who got betrayed was outside the walls.

The one who got hurt was outside the walls.

Because the beautiful masked person was not her.

So, she thought it was fine.

In the end, as long as the self within the walls remained unharmed, that was all that mattered.

Whenever she checked if the mask was properly in place, she would tap her chin with her index finger.

Over time, this action became routine. She could confirm with just the shape of her chin’s muscles.

Somewhere along the way, she forgot how to smile genuinely.

She met an odd young man.

It had started with the rare task the father had entrusted to her.

It was said a guest from the Lakatus family would arrive and should be casually processed.

What could the family from the southeast continent, where civil war brewed, want in the North?

Complicated by her own issues, she accepted the job.

At the border of the territory, a shabby carriage waited.

Since everyone already knew what was going on, she didn’t pay much attention.

The one who volunteered as the carriage driver turned out to be a young boy.

He looked like he hadn’t even had his coming-of-age ceremony yet, with an innocent youthfulness.

But his sharp eye and left monocle were striking.

Whatever she asked, his responses were indifferent.

It wasn’t that his mood was bad, but rather that he truly seemed uninterested.

Judging from appearances, it seemed the guard accompanying him was just him alone.

Perhaps confident in his own strength?

Because the head of the Lakatus family trusted him.

She envied that.

If she had someone she could trust like that, what would it be like?

The youth appeared to also trust the Lakatus family.

His cool and curt responses suggested that much.

Out of jealousy for that fact, she tried to engage him in idle talk.

The boy dismissed it, saying that there was nothing more to say.

That fleeting spark of interest seemed to fade away.

Unexpected news came suddenly.

Moreover, the contents were quite shocking.

Among those who delve into the magical world, few were unaware of the concept of a heart’s vision.

Especially if the one achieving the heart’s vision was someone who hadn’t even been exposed to magic for long, someone who hadn’t yet experienced the coming-of-age ceremony.

The rumor that spread in the social circles was that the lady of the Lakatus family had awakened her heart’s vision.

At first, she didn’t believe it.

He had never made a name for himself when he was younger.

It simply felt like he had appeared out of nowhere, shining brighter than any gem.

The impact of this fact lingered for quite some time.

If she had a heart’s vision, banishing Toren would be a simple matter.

As she continued to dwell on it,

The face that would pop into her mind was that of a young boy.

In the North, cold men aren’t popular.

That’s why everyone tries to show warmth in their smiles.

Was that the reason?

The plain expression of the youth was unforgettable.

Her thoughts flowed, recalling the lady of the Lakatus family.

The lady who had come from the southeast but had never revealed herself.

The young boy guarding her.

She started gathering rumors about the heart’s vision from then on.

Squeezing information through nonexistent channels, she learned about the imagery contained within the vision.

They said the lady Lakatus’s vision was similar to the Winter Island.

And inside it was the figure of a young boy.

Most dismissed it as delusions,

But she couldn’t.

Given that the head of the Lakatus family had only attached a single guard,

And considering the fact that one had come from the southeastern continent to have the Winter Island as a vision,

Her conclusion was singular.

The youth had to be brought to her.

If by any chance, there was something special about him,

If she could obtain her heart’s vision by bringing him here,

Then so be it.

She passed her message to the Lakatus chieftain a few hours later.

Indeed, the youth was peculiar.

Despite appearing indifferent, he was quite thoughtful.

She hadn’t realized that he could instantly see through the elaborate fiction she was weaving to lure him.

That’s why.

Perhaps that’s why her interest in him only increased.

Yes, interest.

Surely, that was where it should have ended.

When the boy introduced himself as Kalen and comprehended all her schemes, she was astonished.

She had thought she had constructed a quite convincing pretense, but Kalen identified the setup from the start.

She secretly admired him.

In the end, he was like everyone else, out for his own benefit, but at least Kalen didn’t approach her wrapped in hypocrisy and lies.

As he truly was.

He didn’t care if she didn’t trust him, and they formed an agreement almost like a transaction.

When she brought Kalen to the restaurant, she was taken aback.

Because her older brother, who was like garbage, showed interest in him.

Moreover, her father knew Kalen too.

All those who had conspired with Toren eventually turned their backs on her.

This act was akin to a declaration.

Toren was outright declaring that he would entice Kalen.

Their reasoning was flawless since her father favored his eldest son, Toren, thus creating a perfect justification.

Many who had been with her for quite a while fell into the trap.

It was difficult to imagine Kalen would be any different.

That’s why it was hard to hold her head up.

Because it meant another wound, a reality she didn’t want to face.

Nevertheless.

What bewildered her were Kalen’s responses.

Refusing the heir’s request so nonchalantly.

Complimenting her eye color, something she had always avoided and disliked, calling it beautiful.

This act led her father to offer her something he had never given before, a path to the frontline.

What followed afterward was something she still couldn’t fully understand.

Might it have been because too many unprecedented events happened all at once?

The me in the outside world, through the small cracks in the fortress, started gazing at the self within.

*

The frontline wasn’t easy, not even in words.

Aside from the work that needed to be done, many more turned against her during her absence.

Still, something felt different this time.

The answer came to her during the meeting one night.

-Please let that burden be mine. I gladly take it upon myself.

That belief—trust is something you build together,

Struck her like a taboo.

Listening to others speak of Makbel’s possible betrayal made her head spin, as if she might throw up.

Kalen still advised her.

It’s dangerous.

The possibility that this is a trap is quite high.

Trust is built together, he had said.

Her relationship with Makbel was already built.

Long-standing and sturdy.

The feeling of having it denied was terrifying.

Still, Kalen asked her to take over that line of trust.

She understood it was for her benefit.

For the sake of rescuing the North, for the journey of personal vengeance against Toren,

Kalen was willing to bear it all alone.

It was all unprecedented.

Complimenting her hair color and eyes,

Telling her that true relationships are built over time and that he wanted to share that journey—

To someone who had only known betrayal, he offered to create real trust.

That night, the heartbeat was also something new.

And so, she spent a restless night.

Time passed, and they were isolated in Hiart Mountain.

It was then she understood the truthfulness of Kalen’s words.

The surrounding fog grew thick,

And countless monsters began pressing in on them.

Kalen stayed by her, supposedly on the pretense of just guarding her.

Even while his whole body was battered,

He held her closely, even though she was nothing but cumbersome baggage.

She had been lonely.

In truth, so unbearably lonely.

Even through twisted excuses like wearing a mask,

She wanted to be turned away.

…She wanted to be loved.

Once the walls of her heart began to crumble,

She couldn’t hold them back any longer.

Finally, she met the self within the walls that she had never let anyone see.

And there, in front of her, stood that young boy.

The boy stayed by the girl’s side.

And promised her a real trust without betrayal.

And he kept that promise.

Maybe, she wanted to give up.

Because it was too hard.

Too lonely.

Maybe she wanted to give up, blaming the fog, the surrounding monsters, saying it was beyond her control.

But the walls were long gone.

And the girl, submerged in loneliness and unable to grow within those walls, found redemption.

Because of the young boy who promised and kept that he would never betray her,

And through the clearest truth.

Whether she would die by the hands of the giant creature,

Or the monsters that were about to swarm this place,

Whether trapped in the fog,

Because he stayed by her and refused to leave her even when she was a hindrance,

That night,

Serasie embraced Kalen tightly, her eyes closed.

A faint smile graced her face,

But it was clearly not the same as her mask’s charming smile.

The girl finally remembered how to smile.

And as the shadows in the young boy’s neck faded, she closed her eyes for the last time.

---