The Heroine Stole My Regression

36 – Midterm Exam (6)

I wasn’t born with a good disposition. No, if I’m being honest, it’s closer to a bad one.

Fistfights were commonplace since I was a child. I fought often, and when I did, I fought to the bitter end.

Thanks to that, I even earned the cute nickname ‘Fighting Cock.’

To those I considered my own, I was endlessly generous.

But, if you weren’t one of my people?

I didn’t feel the need to be nice, not really.

Perhaps it was the army that shook me free of that black-and-white thinking. Around then, I learned to suppress my anger, to pretend to be ‘good.’

There, I had no one on my side.

And the Master, he already knew this about me, this disposition of mine.

That day, the training just wasn’t coming together.

Not that my body was sluggish, or my head heavy, but strangely, everything went awry.

The spear wouldn’t extend as I intended, my body’s center kept wavering.

In the end, I emptied my head and began to smash scarecrows.

As if erasing thoughts, shaking off emotions, I just swung wildly.

Not just one or two.

After demolishing perhaps two hundred in a row, a hush fell over the ruined training grounds.

Broken timber drifted in the air before slowly sinking to the ground.

Shattered forms lay scattered all around me. My fingertips trembled, burning hot.

I sighed, gripping the spear even tighter.

This isn’t enough.

Māyins are strong. Especially the officers and above…just monsters wearing human skin.

Like this, can I stand before my characters and guide them?

‘Can I protect them?’

I asked myself, again and again.

“Not that I can’t understand it.”

How many hours did I ponder this?

A low voice sounded from behind me.

I slowly turned my head.

It was the Master.

“Ah… you’ve come?”

I tried to maintain a forced composure, but such an attitude was meaningless before him, to begin with.

He knew me too well. He already saw the emotions tangled within my eyes.

“…There is no need to completely suppress the anger within.”

He closed his eyes.

“After all, it is also a part of you.”

I savored his words, turning them over in my mind.

*No need to suppress*… he’d said.

I settled into a seat, closed my eyes, and peered within.

Into that deep place where imperfect emotions tangled and writhed.

The endless churning, the rage born of my own shortcomings.

And a weariness that clung, a certain sense of powerlessness.

Caught between the two, I had always whipped myself onward, suppressing it all.

*Anger is a useless emotion. Unease and wavering are weaknesses.*

That is what I had believed.

And so, I focused less on mastering myself, and more on stifling my feelings.

But, was that truly so?

If, as the Sage said, there was no need for restraint—

Perhaps I should simply embrace them.

I drew a deep breath.

And in that instant, confronted the emotions that held me captive, as they were.

Hot, cold, overflowing, empty.

Yet, contrary to expectation, these emotions did not seek to control me.

Slowly, I began to harmonize them.

Not suppressing, not denying. Simply yielding to their flow.

Ensuring the emotions did not meld into chaos, yet not allowing them to simply dissipate.

Neither a beast raging wildly, nor a Buddha enduring all.

I possessed emotions.

But those emotions did not possess me.

I opened my eyes.

My entire body was drenched in sweat.

Scanning my surroundings, I realized three days had passed. The Sage stood behind me.

His eyes, which had been closed.

“… You have labored well.”

He offered the brief pronouncement, and turned away.

And, as he stepped through the door, he added:

“And, congratulations.”

I didn’t rise from my seat, but checked the window that had materialized before my eyes.

[You have acquired 『Mind Like Still Water』.]

This was the reason I could be called a demon, a *gwishin*.

*

The instant the countdown ended, Johann moved. He drew his sword from his waist and aimed it at me.

As if he were a true hero himself.

“You should have been more careful.”

A lazy smirk played on his lips.

With the cheers and shouts from the stands at his back, he looked down at me.

After mastering 『Mind Like Still Water』, I’d forgotten how to experience emotional turmoil.

Negative emotions or positive ones – I wasn’t swayed by any of them.

“It happens sometimes,”

He continued, lightly swinging his sword.

“Accidents where people die during sparring matches.”

So, naturally, I should be immune to such base provocations.

But.

‘What is this?’

For a moment, I felt a jarring confusion.

One of the emotions that had been perfectly harmonized within me, was trying to surge forth.

Unconsciously, my fingertips tightened.

The back of my neck felt icy cold. What… what *is* this feeling?

Instinctively, I examined my inner self.

‘…Me.’

And then, I understood.

Could it be.

‘Am I… angry?’

It had been so long, I hadn’t even recognized it.

Like sludge rising from the bottom of a stagnant, muddy pond.

Slowly, but certainly, it was consuming me.

Was it after the shard? Or perhaps, after that dream?

I had felt my emotional control wasn’t quite what it used to be lately, but never had anything surged this intensely within me.

Just then, Johan lowered his sword and spoke.

“Who exactly are you laying your hands on?”

Instantly, my eyes narrowed.

Ah.

Is this it?

With just that one sentence, something inside me writhed.

I…I considered Cheon Yeoul to be my own. She was a character I created, and I treated her with affection befitting that.

And Johan, he touches my own. Treating her like a tool, attempting to take her away.

Therefore, naturally—I am enraged.

An extremely obvious principle, but one that had been absent from me lately.

My heart felt rather at ease. This too is my emotion, so I will accept it.

A subtle curve tugged at the corner of my lips.

At that moment, Johan drew his sword back, ejecting mana. In an instant, his strengthened body accelerated.

My vision expands.

The manifestation of Omniscience.

Where he’ll attack is obvious. The front, of course. He is, after all, a so-called hero.

I lightly twisted my grip on the spear.

-Clang!!

I precisely positioned the spear in the path of his attack.

Neither of us yields an inch.

A fierce power struggle unfolding in an instant.

Blade against spear, each pushing against the other.

Johan exploded with mana, forcefully pressing his sword forward.

‘Is this all?’

However, I was adequately gauging his level.

Johan’s brow twitched. His previously relaxed expression gradually became tinged with panic.

I could feel the subtle tremors transmitted from his hand to mine.

Johan’s sword wavered.

In that instant, he narrowed his eyes—wrenching his blade around violently, and stepping back a pace.

He’d realized he was being pushed back, and immediately created distance.

And that was a mistake.

Using the recoil of his parry, I spun my body, drawing a spear from my waist and launching it in one fluid motion.

– *Whizzzzzz!*

The sharp crack of air being torn apart.

He gasped, instantly batting away the spear aimed squarely at his head.

For a fleeting moment, a smile flickered across his lips again.

Perhaps he thought he’d seized the advantage, the spear having left my grasp.

But it was an opening. I had no intention of prolonging the fight.

The very moment he deflected the spear, I threw my entire body forward. In a flash, I pulled up the smartwatch on my wrist, wrapping it around my knuckles like a guard.

– *Thwack!*

And those knuckles landed squarely on his ribs.

“Ugh!”

Johann opened his mouth, but no groan escaped.

Dust billowed above us.

I had no intention of stopping.

Again, I struck the same spot with brutal force.

– *Crunch!*

This time it went in deep.

The sensation of his bones breaking, transmitted through the back of my hand.

Johann’s body twisted violently.

He swung his sword reflexively. But his eyes were glazed, and he was already spent.

There was no power behind it.

I merely tilted my head slightly to avoid the blade.

And then—my fist, armored with the knuckle guard. This time, it slammed into his face.

– *Crush!*

Johann’s head snapped back, spraying blood.

For a heartbeat, his body was airborne.

And then—

– *Thud!*

I was thrown violently to the floor. But I was with him.

I mounted him as he crumbled.

– *Crunch!*

And then, once more, I smashed his face.

– *Beeeeeeeeep!!*

The match-end signal reverberated through the arena.

I paused for a moment.

Opening my eyes, I saw that Johann’s body was already sprawled outside the ring.

His disqualification, my win by default.

‘So it goes.’

I didn’t especially care.

My fist, soaked crimson, hammered into Johann’s face with brutal force.

– *Bang!*

The impact made his head bounce off the floor.

Blood sprayed across the cracked tiles, and a few teeth clattered out alongside.

I dusted off my hands and stood up. The metal watch wrapped around my finger was crushed beyond recognition.

I roughly unwound the wreckage and tossed it onto the floor.

I looked around. The stands were silent.

An awkward stillness.

People watched me, speechless.

Then, the emcee stammered.

“…T-the winner— Jung Hae-in!”

And at that moment,

– *Waaah!!*

An explosive roar erupted.

I tilted my head slightly, blocking my ears.

Too loud.