LGHTNOVELBOOK Chapter 83
Chapter 83: Home Visit with the Roulette 2
I think.
Therefore, I exist.
You’ve probably heard of this before.
I am not self-originating, but I am conscious of the fact that I doubt myself.
That awareness proves my existence, a famous philosophical proposition by René Descartes.
Well, if I delve deeper into i t, this proposition ties into a complex story that involves the existence of God and how my existence is possible because of the belief and the idea of God.
Simply put, it’s that.
I gave up on this whole damn thing called “thinking.”
Therefore, I would consider that I don’t exist.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Who is it?”
“We’re here to share some good words.”
At first, I thought it was a woman because of the long, elegant hair, but upon closer inspection of the physique, it was a male elf.
He looked at Shia as if wondering what kind of nonsense he had just heard.
“Pardon?”
– Hahahahahahahaha
– LOL
– Oh my god, hahaha
– Look at his expression, hahaha
– This is too funny, LOL
– Noona… do whatever you want…
Do you think I’m doing this because I want to!?
Shia could feel a vein popping on her forehead as she glanced at the holographic chat window that only she could see.
Whether or not he noticed, the male elf sighed and tried to close the door.
“You’re an outsider. We have no business with your so-called good words…”
Bang!
Shia wedged her foot into the gap, preventing the door from closing, and with her usual bright and innocent smile, she forcibly opened the door.
‘What strength…’
– Wow, she’s super strong, hahaha
– That door looks heavy, how’s she holding it?
– Look at the guy’s face, he really wants to close it, hahaha
– If a saintess like her barged into my house, I’d let her in too
– What?
– Of course, you gotta let her in, hahaha
– Hey, you shut-ins, can’t you see the mood is bad?
The male elf, who didn’t have any positive feelings toward humans or outsiders, tried to push Shia back with all his might. But this woman was far stronger than she looked, and no matter how hard he tried to close the door, it wouldn’t budge.
“…What are you doing?”
“Is something wrong in your house?”
“What are you…”
“Is your mother sick? Or has something happened to your family…?”
“What?”
At Shia’s words, the elf’s expression changed.
When she casually asked if his mother was ill, the elf’s eyes changed, as if he’d been entranced by a sorcery akin to the one cast by Zhang Jue of the Yellow Turbans.
– What? Why is his expression changing, LOL
– Did he actually fall for that?
– Hahahahaha
– Well, considering how isolated they are, it makes sense, LOL
– No way, seriously?
It made sense. If the World Tree and its children had been fine, no disease or suffering would exist in this forest.
Even if they contracted a fatal disease or suffered a severe injury, one touch from the World Tree’s child could heal all elves.
But after coming to Earth, the elves’ lives changed drastically.
More and more of them, who had never coughed in centuries, were now hacking away.
Many of their comrades were bedridden, unable to rise.
Though they didn’t show it outwardly, many elves felt a growing anxiety about illness.
And when it involved a family member’s health, the fear doubled.
“How do you know about that?”
– OMG, he really fell for it
– What’s happening
– If you tried multi-level marketing on elves, they’d probably fall for it
Now less wary, the male elf, though still suspicious of Shia as an outsider, opened the door more easily than before.
“Brother, could I have a moment of your time?”
“What do you want?”
I’m not your brother.
“You have a very bright aura about you.”
“Oh, well, thank you.”
Yeah, of course, you do.
Elves, who have high affinity with spirits, would naturally have a good aura.
“If you’re just going to spout nonsense, please leave. My mother is ill, and I have no time for an outsider like you…”
“Brother, there’s so little time for joy in life. Why do you sharpen your blade so keenly?”
“……..”
“When I stop doubting the sincerity of others and joyfully accept love, they, too, will try their best to show their true heart. Isn’t that what rational love is? I only wish to share that love with you, brother.”
“…..?”
“You have a very kind face and gentle eyes. Even the ancient World Tree rests on your shoulders…”
“What?! The World Tree is on my shoulders?!”
“Yes!”
Good.
As expected of an elf, he reacts well to the mention of the World Tree.
Shia smirked, feeling that things were going smoothly.
– ??
– What’s happening? Why is this elf giving in so quickly?
– ?
– ?
– ??
– Is the streamer actually a cult leader?
– Why does she sound so much like one?
– Ah, this is the Cult of the Crazy Saintess.
What is this?
What is this feeling?
Viewers began sending hooks toward Shia, who was now smoothly playing the part of the “cult leader saintess.”
No, not just smoothly.
Shia’s words and actions had the air of someone with a lot of experience.
“As an outsider, I dare to ask—do you really think the World Tree has disappeared?”
“Th-That’s right… We were betrayed by wicked humans in our previous world… and lost the World Tree. And… what protects us now is the new World Tree that grew…”
“No, that’s not true.”
“What do you mean it’s not true?”
“The World Tree never left the elves, never abandoned the Great Forest, never abandoned you, brother. The World Tree has always been with you. Right now, she’s sitting on your right shoulder.”
“……Ah…”
The male elf felt tears welling up in his eyes without realizing it.
The fear, guilt, and anxiety of having lost the World Tree in the previous world.
The worry for his mother, who had been bedridden and unable to rise, weighed on him, leaving him sleepless.
He had never imagined that a despicable, hostile outsider could soothe those feelings.
– OMG, her cult skills are top-notch, LOL
– What is this? Is this a thriller? She’s suddenly scary
– Damn, this got intense real fast
– Hey, don’t come to my house, Noona…
– Turns out her holy pouch was a cult pouch all along.
Realizing that the conversation had now taken a positive turn, Shia flashed a bright smile.
No, it wasn’t just that the conversation had gone well.
The elf was already completely under Shia’s spell.
“How… how do you know that?”
“Know what, brother?”
“How do you know the World Tree is sitting on my shoulder? And if that’s true, why is my mother suffering from an illness like humans?”
Still not fully letting go of his hostility toward outsiders, the male elf shouted in frustration, trying to shake off his vulnerable feelings.
But even then, Shia smiled kindly and placed her hand on his shoulder.
“The World Tree led me here, didn’t she? How else would I have known to come here? Is that not proof enough…?”
“…No, no! Don’t lie to me! What could an outsider like you possibly know about us…?!”
“Then, would you like me to show you proof?”
“What?”
Shia took a deep breath.
She normally didn’t use her enhanced sense of smell, but by enhancing her senses with holy power, Shia could pick up scents that others couldn’t.
The warm scent of soil, the pure fragrance of dew fresher than a morning lake, and even the stench of disease more foul than the dust of an old, neglected room.
And now, sensing the smell of disease, Shia began to walk deeper into the house.
“W-Where do you think you’re going…!?”
Before the male elf could stop her, Shia walked straight into the room where the scent of sickness was strongest.
Inside was an elf woman with pale, white hair.
She was sweating profusely and appeared to be in immense pain, her eyes closed as she struggled to breathe, gasping through her mouth while lying on a bed woven from sycamore leaves.
From a glance, it was clear her illness had progressed significantly.
After assessing the sick woman’s condition, Shia approached her without hesitation.
‘Shortness of breath, crushed airway, weakened lungs, low blood pressure. Her skin is a bit blotchy… It’s like a combination of pneumonia and smallpox in humans…’
Most of the elves in the village were only coughing occasionally, but the truly sick ones, like this woman, were bedridden, unable to move. Without proper treatment, her condition had only worsened instead of improving.
Though the elves had knowledge of herbs and potions, they had no real need for doctors in their world.
The blessings of the World Tree and the Great Forest had always kept them from falling ill, so they lacked any systematic way of treating and managing patients.
In this condition, even if she were taken to a hunter’s hospital on Earth, the doctors would be in quite the bind.
It wasn’t that they couldn’t cure her, but the hospital bill would be hefty, and the treatment time would be long.
But, of course, Shia wasn’t the Saintess of the Dead, who saved her world from the Demon King, for nothing.
[Miracle – Great Healing]
A brilliant white light enveloped the woman’s body, instantly driving out all harmful elements and healing her completely.
It didn’t just cure her illness.
Thanks to Shia’s Great Healing, which restored her body to peak condition, the woman, who had been gasping for air and whose complexion had been deathly pale, was now breathing easily, her face relaxing into peaceful rest.
“Get out! How dare an outsider come here when my mother is so sick…!”
“…Gerard?”
“What?”
So his name was Gerard.
“W-What? Mother…?”
“Gerard, what is going on…? Who is this person…?”
Ignoring Gerard standing behind her, Shia held the elf woman’s hand and smiled.
“How are you feeling?”
“Oh, I… I’m fine…”
“Please don’t try to get up right away. Even if you think you’re fine, the body is more fragile than you’d expect. Take the rest of the day to recover and try moving around slowly tomorrow morning.”
“…Did you… cure me?”
Shia shrugged at her question.
“Who knows?”
“Ah… Mother! Are you… are you feeling better!?”
Seeing his mother, who had been on the brink of death, looking healthier than ever, Gerard could no longer hold back his emotions.
He knelt beside Shia and grabbed his mother’s hand.
“Oh, Gerard… I’m fine. It’s truly strange. I felt so heavy and in pain that even breathing was difficult… I thought I might never see you again…”
“A-Ah… Mother…”
Gerard buried his head in his mother’s embrace, and she gently stroked his hair in silence.
With her illness healed, she had regained not only her health but also her youthful beauty, as radiant as any elf in their prime.
Had it not been for the illness, she now looked like a human woman in her early twenties, glowing with her regained vigor.
“Brother.”
“Ah…”
“Do you believe me now?”
“Yes, yes! I believe you! Thank you! Thank you so much!”
Gerard knelt on the floor and began to express his gratitude to Shia.
He had thought she was a crazy outsider.
A woman who was out of her mind.
Though she had guessed some things correctly, the suspicion hadn’t entirely gone away.
It wasn’t easy to cast aside his hostility toward outsiders.
But this woman, this Shia, had cured his mother’s illness.
None of that mattered anymore.
Even if everything she had said until now was a lie, she had healed his mother. How could he not believe and follow her?
– Wow, unbelievable
– OMG
– This is how cults start, huh?
– Cult requirement: Great Healing
– If my mom was cured like that, I’d follow her too, LOL
– I’d give her my liver and heart, LOL
In the chat, a party of utter chaos had broken out.
Feeling that things had wrapped up rather nicely, Shia suppressed the trembling embarrassment and shame inside her, forcing a bright smile once more.
“So, brother?”
“Y-Yes! I will do whatever you say!”
“Could you please subscribe and like?”
“Excuse me?”
– Hahahahahahahaha
– OMG, she asked for a subscription, LOL
– I’m dying, hahaha
Incidentally, there was a device made of metallic wood in Gerard’s house that resembled a computer.
‘…I can’t actually start a real cult…’
Of course, Shia had no idea at the time.
That Gerard the elf would soon become a frequent “holy broth” for the Saintess of the Crazy Disease.
●●●●
And then the roulette wheel turned again. And again.
The number of elves she met and the number of elf homes she visited blurred together.
What she thought would be a short broadcast of house visits continued into the night. Then, into the early morning.
By dawn, visiting elf households became impolite, so she turned her attention to meeting guards, sentries, or members of the Lotus Knights.
After that, Shia continued to spin the roulette wheel.
And each time, she visited new homes and met new elves.
At first, it was about sensing the scent of malevolence and having a brief conversation to determine truth and lies.
That alone would have been dull. And a long broadcast like this would’ve quickly bored the viewers.
But…
[“If you see a totally flat-chested elf, the streamer has to say, ‘Wanna touch my chest?'”]
With this kind of roulette coming up every now and then, how could it not be entertaining!?
“Do you… wanna touch my chest?”
“…What did you just say?”
That day, Shia learned for the first time that the arrows shot by a very angry elf from the Lotus Lake Knights could pierce her skin.
Though there were some twists and turns, things ended well with that elf, too.
The flat-chested elf, who Shia had accidentally offended, turned out to be sick, though less severely than Gerard’s mother.
In the end, Shia, with her holy pouch, apologized for her nonsense and cured the elf’s illness as a form of penance.
‘How in the world did her arrow pierce my skin? I thought I could survive machine gun fire without getting scratched…’
The wrath of the flat-chested is fiercer than I thought.
I guess their hearts are small, so their anger boils over quickly… I’ll have to be careful.
And the roulette wheel kept spinning.
It spun very well.
Whether red flowers or yellow flowers bloomed in abundance, or white butterflies and flower spirits fluttered over the hedges.
Whether the warm spring breeze blew again and again, the roulette wheel spun on and on.
Whether the fluffy clouds filled the sky or short-sleeved elves wore short skirts.
Whether the salt sweat and oily sweat poured down, the roulette wheel kept spinning.
[Pretend to be a college student doing multi-level marketing]
“Excuse me, I’m doing a college project. Could I trouble you for a quick interview?”
“Huh? A college project?”
“…Yes. I majored in psychology, and for my college assignment, I was hoping to have a quick chat over coffee…”
“Are you sure you’re a college student? You look kind of old.”
“………………”
– Hahahahahahahahaha
– Hahaha
– Breaking news: Streamer revealed to have elf-old face syndrome…
– I’m dying, LOL
Though Shia often made fun of elves with her particular brand of humor, the elves’ pure and straightforward remarks sometimes struck Shia like a dagger.
“…Whoever brings this up again is seriously getting banned…!”
– LOL
– The streamer is super pissed, hahaha
– Hahahaha
– Hahahahaha
– The storm is coming, hahaha
Of course, that was just talk.
Shia had never actually banned anyone.
In truth, she was just too lazy to ban anyone.
Thus, the dawn broadcast continued.
The encounters went on and on.
Some viewers went to sleep, exhausted, while others, bored and with nothing else to do, joined Shia’s channel after hearing the buzz.
It was quite the rare sight. Not only filming the beautiful Great Forest of the elves, but the elves themselves, more beautiful than the forest, continued to appear with each encounter, blending a mix of concept acting and banter.
When morning came and the elves started to stir again, Shia began knocking on doors once more.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Yes~? Who is it~?”
Shia, red-faced and trembling, had arrived at the home of the chef elf in charge of the elves’ meals.
The chef from the Oak House knew who Shia was.
Though there was a slight awkwardness due to her being an outsider, the Oak House elf didn’t harbor any ill will toward her.
She was older than many other elves and had a calm and gentle personality, friendly with everyone without holding grudges.
Moreover, being in charge of feeding countless elves, she was someone that nobody in the Great Forest disliked.
“Oh my, Shia, dear. What brings you here? Are you here for breakfast~? It might take a little while. Oh! Would you like some raisin bread?”
“……M-Ma…”
“Yes?”
“Grrr….!”
Her face bright red, Shia closed her eyes tightly and shouted at the Oak House elf in a loud voice.
She even struck a strange pose, moving her body in some weird, rhythmic motion.
“I… I am the Meat Fairy! Magical Saintess Lirisia! I have arrived to defeat the evil vegetarian fairies!!”
“……………….?”
– Hahahahahahaha
– What the hell is this?
– OMG, what is this!? LOL
– Hahahaha
– I just woke up, turned on the stream, and this nonsense greeted me
– LOL
– This is clip-worthy, hahaha
– Get ready to be immortalized, LOL
But the chat didn’t even register in Shia’s mind.
She just stood there, frozen in that ridiculous pose, her arms stretched out to the sky, her face a deep shade of red.
Meanwhile, the Oak House elf…
“……..Oh dear.”
“………”
– Hahahahahahaha
– What’s with the elf’s reaction, LOL
– Hahahaha
– The eldest daughter… even at 85, still like this…
She didn’t respond much, just looking at Shia with a pitying expression, as if she felt sorry for her.
That sympathetic gaze made Shia’s expression even more intense.
“Grrr…. Ugh….!!”
Feeling a rush of shame, embarrassment, and confusion all swirling together, Shia’s face turned even redder as she bolted out of the room.
“…Aren’t you going to take the bread?”
Thud, thud, thud.
Hearing the Oak House elf’s voice, Shia quickly dashed back, grabbed the bread with her tendrils, and ran off somewhere again, her face still hidden behind her hands.
– She still took the bread, LOL
– Can’t resist elf bread, hahaha
– Elf-made raisin bread, a precious treasure…
– Wait, it’s raisin bread? Ew, gross
– Elf raisins are delicious!
– Guys, that’s not the point. Look at how funny her face was, LOL
[Become a Magical Girl + Meat Fairy]
As the noisy chat and the roulette wheel continued to torment her, Shia’s eyes were filled with small, glistening tears of embarrassment.