The Grill-Wielding Saintess of the Dead

Chapter 119 – A Not So Unfamiliar Guest 1

Tia, as already explained, was the captain of the 3rd division of the Imperial Knights.

From the moment she first joined the knights, I had recited their blessings, and so Tia and I had known each other for a long time.

I had seen her since she was an ordinary knight.

In the battle against the Demon King’s army, when she was worn out and would break down at the mere sight of blood on her hands, I had comforted her.

When she finally overcame her fears and awakened as a proud knight, I had congratulated her.

In my previous world, my priorities were Menelapie and Teresa, but that didn’t mean I neglected others; I had tried to embrace everyone.

And so, I had grown fond of Tia.

I shouldn’t have, I should never have met her, but Tia became too close to me.

As soon as I experienced my first hunger frenzy, Tia was the first to rush to stop me.

The price for that was her flesh being torn apart and eaten by me.

After devouring Tia and many others during my first hunger frenzy, I was consumed by guilt and despair, unable to engage in any external activities for a while.

I couldn’t even attend the funerals of those I had eaten.

What right did I have to honor their souls?

At some point, I realized that those I had eaten were with me, but that didn’t mean my guilt disappeared.

Guilt.

Guilt.

I had always thought of it as the most useless and unnecessary emotion, yet ever since becoming the Saintess of the Dead, guilt had firmly settled within me.

And now, that guilt, which had only lived inside my mind, had materialized and appeared before my eyes.

“Heuuuaahh…”

[It’s okay. It’s alright. Please calm down.]

Thanks to this, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably from the early morning.

Tia seemed flustered, unsure of what to do, but my tears were pouring out like a broken faucet.

“I… snff… I… killed… you… snff…”

[I don’t understand what you’re saying. Please calm down first…]

“Snff, Heuuuueee! I’m sorrryyy… snff, I’m sorrryyyyyy!!”

After crying for about 10 minutes, I was finally able to gather my wits a little.

[…Saintess, are you feeling a bit better now?]

“…Snff, sniff…ha…uuh…”

I had no idea what I was saying to Tia.

Do you remember me?

I killed you.

I ate you.

How are you here?

How did you become a Returnee?

Do you remember me?

Do you remember the day I ate you?

I’m sorry. I’m so sorryyyyy…!

While I was crying and rambling to Tia, she, with her undead stoic expression, wiped the tears streaming down my face.

[Please try to calm down.]

Even though her expression was as emotionless as a mask, the subtle care in her voice made me feel even sadder.

[I’ve heard what you’ve said, but to get straight to the point, I don’t know who you are, Saintess.]

“…Snff… How could that be…”

[I’ll explain, so please listen slowly.]

With that, Tia placed her helmet on the table.

It seemed like it was going to be a long story.

[This is something I’ve never told anyone, but though I’m treated as a Returnee, I’m actually not a true Returnee.]

“Snff, what… do you mean?”

[It was 10 years… no, 13 years ago, I think. Anyway, during the second Great Rift, I opened my eyes and found myself here. I hardly remember anything from before then. All I had left were my body, my armor, and my sword. At first, because of my appearance, I was mistaken for a monster, but as I kept protecting other hunters and people, perceptions changed.]

Well, nowadays, I’m just treated as a peculiar kind of Returnee.

Tia shrugged her shoulders as she said that.

[There are cases of Returnees losing their memories, and I fall under that category. Even though a Skeleton Knight, a non-human, managed to get a citizenship card and adjust to life on Earth, I’m still a rather unusual case.]

At first, Tia had been mistaken for a monster, but she stood by humanity’s side.

By working as a hunter, she earned recognition as a special kind of Returnee with human rights.

Working as a hunter and protecting people wasn’t that difficult.

An undead’s body was virtually immune to most physical attacks, and they didn’t feel pain, fatigue, or have any stamina limits.

Though Tia had almost no memory of her past life, her swordsmanship skills remained intact.

[Hmm, I see. So I was once someone called Tia Lauria in your previous world… It doesn’t feel real, but it’s a strange feeling.]

“Uh, huh…sniff… So, you really don’t remember…?”

[I’m sorry. As I said earlier, I don’t remember anything at all.]

I see…

[And the fact that you said you killed me… That was because of that hunger frenzy you mentioned, right?]

“Uh, yes… now that you mention it, when I had my third ethics review, you were one of the observers…”

[Yes. I was following Yujin back then, so I didn’t get a chance to greet you properly.]

I see…

It felt hollow.

Somehow, I felt hollow and empty.

What could I even call this emotion…

I had reunited with someone from long ago, but they didn’t remember me, and our reunion had taken a form different from what I had imagined.

[Please don’t make that face, Saintess. Even though I have no memory of you, it’s not like you wanted to kill ‘Tia Lauria’, right?]

“…Just because of that doesn’t justify what I did.”

[It may not justify it, but there are extenuating circumstances. And forgiveness too.]

“…Forgiveness…”

[I don’t know what I might have said to you when I was alive, but at least now, I forgive you, Saintess.]

Though it was a forgiveness I had only heard within the grave of my soul…

Hearing the word ‘forgiveness’ from the real Tia carried an oddly different weight.

[But, it’s strange. Like you said… Could there really have been something between you and me? As an undead, I’ve never felt warmth, but for some reason, when I’m near you, it feels like I’m sitting next to a campfire or brazier.]

“…Really?”

[I thought it was just my imagination, but if that’s the case, then it makes sense. I’m not just a soulless undead knight after all.]

“Then, should I return your soul…”

[Not yet.]

“Huh…why?”

[I don’t know. It’s hard to explain, but it doesn’t feel like the right time yet.]

I couldn’t say I didn’t understand.

When I “consume,” it’s not just about physically eating but about devouring the essence and soul of the target.

That’s why, even if I use Great Healing to restore the body, the soul doesn’t return, and they remain dead.

Tia was no exception.

I had consumed her malevolent energy and soul within her human body, so even if her body was revived, her soul wouldn’t return.

That’s why I lost so many people to my hunger frenzies.

At present, even though Tia has lost her memories, she has built up new experiences, memories, and traits since the second Great Rift, essentially forming a new personality.

If I were to reintroduce her original soul into her current self, I had no idea what would happen.

The soul could devour the existing personality that inhabited her skeleton knight body, or her current self could consume her original soul.

Whatever the outcome, both I and Tia had to be cautious.

“Then, at least Great Healing…”

[Um… I’m undead, so I might disappear if you do that…]

“What…?”

[I appreciate the thought, Saintess. But I should get going now. I’ll contact you soon, so don’t worry too much.]

“…Why don’t you stay and have a meal before you go?”

[I’m sorry. I really have work to do today.]

I could only watch as Tia got up and left.

I had so many things I wanted to say, countless variations of apologies I had rehearsed…

But when faced with Tia, who didn’t even remember, she forgave me.

Was it okay for her to forgive the one who devoured her so easily?

[Oh, Saintess?]

“What…?”

[I may have lost most of my memories… but I do remember one thing.]

Tia glanced at me.

[You know that undead have a master, right?]

“……Yes.”

In my case, I was my own master, but generally speaking, all undead had a summoner or master who revived them.

[I remember my master’s name.]

“A master…?”

[Teresa Katrin.]

“…Ah..!”

[I don’t remember anything else yet, but if something comes to mind, I’ll let you know.]

With that, Tia left.

Even after she had gone, I sat there for a long time, unable to do anything.

Drip, drip, drip…

“…Ah…sniff…sniff…”

I couldn’t tell whether the liquid flowing from my eyes was blood or tears.

If they were tears… I must really be a pathetic crybaby of a saintess.

And yet, strangely, I felt both sadness and joy.

I didn’t know why Tia was here.

It seemed like our timelines had been displaced.

Tia had her own circumstances for pretending to be a Returnee and didn’t seem to remember me, but even so, I was happy.

Just reuniting with her made me happy, and I was grateful to have been forgiven.

But despite this… as soon as I heard Tia’s last words, I had a selfish thought.

“She was looking for me…”

The fact that Tia’s master was Teresa… meant that Teresa had somehow used black magic to revive Tia’s body.

After meeting the Tia I had devoured, my first thought was that.

How selfish of me.

Ah, perhaps I’m disqualified from being a saintess.

I’ve barely begun to atone for my sins and karma, and here I am, walking proudly under the sky, when I should be ashamed…

“Menelapie… Teresa…”

Even though I had faced my sins from the past, I couldn’t help but hold onto the faint possibility of seeing them again, and I felt a hidden joy that no one could understand.

Of course, I didn’t know magic, nor did I understand the principles behind the miracles that manifested through my hands, so I had no idea how I could meet Menelapie and Teresa again.

There was no point in asking Tia, who had no memory left.

There were no clues, and I didn’t know by what means Tia had come to this Earth…

But even so, I was happy.

Even if it was a possibility smaller than a speck of dust, at least now I could hold onto the chance of reunion.

[I’ve already forgiven you.]

And then, the Tia engraved in my soul’s gravestone spoke to me.

“…………But, I can’t forgive myself.”

[I’ve told you several times already, Saintess. You’re as stubborn as ever. You remind me of Her Majesty.]

At the mention of Menelapie, I couldn’t help but twitch the corners of my lips.

Ah, I couldn’t hide how happy that made me…

[So, don’t be sad. Be happy instead. Cherish that feeling, Saintess.]

“Is it okay to feel that way…?”

[Stubborn Saintess. I, no, we, have been saying this for a long time.]

We forgive you.

We want you to be happy.

We want you to find joy.

You deserve it.

With those words, the gravestone of Tia engraved in my soul seemed to vanish.

“…Thank you.”

All I could do…

Was say thank you.

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[Danger detected.]

[Rage detected.]

[Fragments of a god have appeared.]

[Already, part of us has been destroyed by it.]

[This should not happen.]

[This Earth holds far too many possibilities.]

[This world is overflowing with impurities.]

[We must cleanse these impurities with our hands.]

[It must be done. It must.]

[But the forgotten fragment of a god has descended upon this land.]

[Has it pursued us?]

[No.]

[We do not know.]

[We cannot know.]

[The “we” of that world has been utterly defeated.]

[Ceasing activity.]

[If detected, I will be annihilated.]

[Puppets cannot contend with a fragment of a god.]

[But new ones will come soon.]

[Will we simply hand over part of ourselves?]

[I cannot interfere.]

[Neither will I.]

[Puppets have their limits.]

[So do the traitors.]

[That being has already built a force in such a short time.]

[We cannot defeat it as we are now.]

[Are you frightened?]

[It is fear. The fear of death.]

[That being is far too alien. Even more so than us.]

[Then, isn’t it simple?]

[Explain.]

[We cannot win. Even if all of us joined forces, we cannot win. However, there is a way to defeat the fragment of a god.]

[How?]

[It’s simple.]

[We don’t even need to act.]

[All we need to do is create a crack.]

[A tiny crack.]

[A tiny opportunity.]

[Then part of us will latch onto it.]

[And the fragment of a god will be destroyed by its own hand.]

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