The Earth-san Has Leveled Up!

1-7. Epilogue 《Hitsujiya Report》

The day we emerged from the dungeon, we ended up spending the night in a hospital.

Partly for detailed examinations, but mostly because the private hospital room was ideal for visitors. It was a matter of adult convenience.

When all the tests were done and we had some free time, five women came to visit Meiko and her accompanying family.

They were all women in their early thirties. One of them, a woman with a gentle smile, spoke to Meiko on behalf of the group.

“Hello, Meiko-chan. I’m Baba from the Self-Defense Force’s Dungeon Countermeasures Headquarters. Meiko-chan, are you feeling okay?”

Even Meiko could sense what Baba wanted to say.

In short, they wanted information quickly.

Meiko’s parents declined.

They wanted to be considerate of their daughter, who had endured a grueling two-day ordeal in the dungeon.

To her parents, Meiko must have been emotionally scarred by her experience. Any normal parents would think so.

By the way, Meiko’s dad was average build, her mom was petite and youthful, and her sister was petite too. Ergo, dad could be considered petite by association. Except there was one odd one out in this logic.

However, Meiko herself was full of energy and readily agreed to the interview.

Her parents were reluctant, but they too wanted to know what had happened in the dungeon.

Then, the other women introduced themselves.

Two were scientists, and the other two, like Baba, were from the Dungeon Countermeasures Headquarters.

With five in total, Baba and the scientists were the ones asking questions, while the rest handled recording.

It was all women, likely out of consideration for Meiko.

A camera was set up, and Meiko hastily began running her fingers through her hair.

Her sister, though not scheduled to appear, also started tidying herself up. Her fifth-grade sister was quite precocious.

The two mistakenly thought this was going to be broadcast on public TV. In reality, it was just a standard recording for documentation. After all, they were only 15 and 11 years old, so mistaking a professional camera for something grander was understandable.

Thus began the interview, and Meiko spoke openly about everything.

The conditions inside the dungeon, the quirks of the enemies, her skills, the job system… etc.

This information would later be known as the Hitsujiya Report, the world’s first dungeon report.

The information was astonishingly useful for something provided by a 15-year-old girl.

Moreover, Meiko had drawn a simplified map of the first floor and had even taken photos inside the dungeon with her smartphone.

The two scientists were ecstatic as they reviewed the images from the now recharged and functional smartphone.

Her sister looked at Meiko with awe. Meiko basked in the glory, her smug expression immortalized as part of the great Hitsujiya Report (video edition).

Though Meiko’s recount was complete, new questions arose.

Mysterious vortexes had appeared worldwide, prompting governments to seal them off swiftly.

Yet, all governments hesitated to send people into the dungeons.

Following the Earth-san’s “announcement,” all weapons vanished globally.

Missiles, tanks, and even small firearms returned to the soil.

Moreover, new firearms couldn’t be produced; any attempt resulted in them turning to dust—a baffling new rule of the world.

Firearm factories became nothing more than alchemical facilities turning metal into dirt.

As a result, anyone venturing into a dungeon needed to rely on old-school weaponry, like something out of a fantasy movie.

Additionally, karma posed another obstacle.

Commanding subordinates to enter an unknown dungeon without adequate weapons was a difficult decision to justify. It could be seen as a form of hesitation.

Thus, while the vortexes were quickly sealed, no country rushed to explore them, choosing instead to wait for another nation to share its findings. Some countries did send in teams, but none had returned so far.

That said, the sealing process wasn’t immediate, allowing many curious individuals to enter during the interim.

Thus, while Meiko became the world’s first dungeon returnee, she wasn’t the only one to enter a dungeon.

No reports of others returning, however, had surfaced from any country.

“Why was Meiko the only one to come back first?”

A scientist, Scientist A, muttered while reviewing her notes.

She then turned to Meiko, seeking any clues.

“Do you have any ideas?”

Meiko thought hard.

She furrowed her brow, almost as if steam might puff out.

“Not really. If I had to say, maybe it’s because I managed to defeat the first enemy with a back attack? And I happened to quickly obtain a dungeon-produced weapon, a grimoire.”

“A grimoire…”

“For example, the Spring Balloon… uh, this guy here.”

Meiko showed a picture of the creature on her smartphone and explained.

By the end of the first floor, Meiko was confident enough to take pictures of the enemies she faced.

“I initially ambushed it from behind and mounted it. When it resisted, it hit my calf, and it hurt so much I almost cried.”

“Hmm, go on,” Scientist A encouraged, sounding very scholarly. Meiko found herself charmed.

Meanwhile, Meiko’s bold attack style left her dad bewildered.

“If the Spring Balloon had been at full strength, I think one punch might’ve broken my bones. But after obtaining the grimoire, I could attack from a distance, so I didn’t have to worry about being hit.”

“I see. So, you were lucky to gain an advantage early on, while others who had to face enemies head-on were unlucky.”

“Yes.”

“Hmm. But that alone seems like a weak explanation for why only you survived.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. You were almost unarmed, but many others had time to prepare. They could have brought knives or crowbars from home. In fact, videos posted by fortune-tubers show far more muscular men entering dungeons with proper equipment. None of them have returned.”

Indeed, Meiko thought, it didn’t make sense that a back attack alone would suffice when better-equipped men failed.

Grimoires might be a factor, but they didn’t seem overwhelmingly powerful.

“Then, maybe they just haven’t exited yet?”

“That seems unlikely, considering the blue and red vortexes you described. They aren’t particularly intuitive. Sure, someone might hesitate to enter them, but eventually, they would have no choice but to pick one. There weren’t any questions like, ‘Do you want to return?’ or ‘Proceed to the next floor,’ right?”

“Right, there weren’t. So, I had to walk into the second floor.”

“Exactly. Which means once someone reaches the vortex stage, it’s a 50/50 chance of returning. It’s strange that no one else has come back.”

“Now that you mention it… why was I able to return?”

Meiko tilted her head in confusion.

“Could it be that dungeons have ranks?”

One of the recorders, a single woman who enjoyed light novels and smartphone games, suggested.

“We’ve considered that possibility, but it still doesn’t explain why no one else has returned. If Meiko entered a beginner-level dungeon, does that mean all others are hellish nightmares far beyond beginner level? After all, most dungeon entrants were men.”

Leading the pack was a muscular fortune-tuber from Shumerica. Few men with lower physical capabilities than Meiko had entered. Given their preparation time, they should have had even greater combat advantages.

“Me, me!”

Meiko’s sister raised her hand.

A brave kid speaking up amid complicated discussions.

Knowing she wouldn’t be ignored, she shared her thoughts before being prompted.

“Maybe the dungeon’s difficulty or structure changes based on who enters!”

“””…”””

It was a plausible theory.

This could explain why:

A well-armed, burly Shumerican man might face a proportionally challenging dungeon and fail to return.

Meanwhile, Meiko, who might even lose a fight to an elementary school boy, encountered a dungeon that couldn’t get any easier and managed to return safely.

“Or perhaps it’s related to the time elapsed since the dungeon formed?”

Baba muttered softly.

“That seems unlikely. Meiko entered as soon as it appeared, but others entered before the security forces sealed them off. If dungeons grew in difficulty that quickly, we’d be powerless to stop them. The mysterious voice didn’t seem intent on destroying us, nor did it seem inclined to impose unreasonable challenges.”

“Then, the idea that difficulty varies by individual seems the most plausible?”

“It’s our job to test such hypotheses. If difficulty changes per person, or if the first entrant sets the difficulty… missteps could lead to disaster.”

Muttering to herself, Scientist A scribbled notes.

The conversation shifted to the items Meiko obtained.

“The items Meiko got don’t seem to include anything dangerous, like radioactive materials.”

Before arriving here, everything Meiko had in her possession had been temporarily taken.

Since the items were brought back from a world beyond the vortex, it was only natural.

“I see.”

“And about those items… we’d like to study some of them. Would you consider selling them?”

Meiko thought about Baba’s request.

By the way, Meiko didn’t find Baba’s gentle tone off-putting. If anything, Meiko would’ve been more troubled if Baba had used overly formal adult speech without considering her age.

“I can give you about ten mana stones for free.”

“Mana stones?”

“The red stones.”

“Those are mana stones?”

To Meiko, they were obviously mana stones. The single woman in the recording team also agreed.

However, Baba wasn’t part of the “it’s obviously a mana stone” club.

The single woman shrugged.

Meiko exchanged glances with her and let out a small laugh.

Baba was mildly irritated.

“Uh, so… you’re saying you’ll give us the mana stones for free? Are you sure? I’m pretty sure we can pay you decently for them.”

Even a day after Earth-san’s announcement, the karma uproar hadn’t settled.

The global karma logs listed sins people had long since forgotten, convincing humanity that some higher power had indeed been watching their actions.

Some dismissed it as nonsense, but any attempts to commit more heinous crimes were now met with divine retribution.

Earth-san’s upgrade was no joke.

But back to the matter at hand.

Fearing karma, the higher-ups wouldn’t dare seize credit from an innocent young girl—at least, not while the karma system remained an enigma.

“Really? In that case… I’ll include the info I shared and ask for… um… ten—no, one million yen!”

To Meiko, even ten thousand yen was a huge amount, but she decided to aim higher and said one hundred thousand yen.

She braced herself for negotiations, but Baba agreed immediately.

“One million yen, okay. Got it.”

Baba made a note.

Meiko’s parents were startled by their daughter’s sudden windfall.

Meiko herself was also a bit scared by how easily she secured such a large sum.

“Th-Then that feels like too much. You can take the other dropped items too.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes. I don’t need the snake skin or spring anymore. But the sword, grimoires, and gloves aren’t for sale.”

“Understood. But, about the sword—it’s covered under Japan’s sword control laws, so you won’t be able to take it out of your house easily. Same goes for the grimoires—don’t show it off.”

“Got it.”

The conversation reached a calm resolution, and Meiko felt relieved.

From Baba’s perspective, the information Meiko provided was worth far more than one hundred thousand yen.

Even if items were plentiful, that didn’t mean the information was less valuable.

Regarding the sword, Baba offered to prepare the necessary documents. She promised to deliver the official ownership permit to their home at a later date. Quite a considerate arrangement.

As for the grimoire, there were no laws regulating the possession of floating books, so nothing could be done. All Baba could do was advise against showing it off.

The conversation continued for about an hour.

“That concludes our discussion. Thank you so much for providing information despite being tired.”

“No problem. I’m glad I could help.”

Baba and her team left their contact information before exiting the room.

Meiko’s smartphone was temporarily taken for video analysis. Being a young girl, there was nothing incriminating on it, so there were no concerns.

When handing over her phone, Meiko was also asked not to post the dungeon photos online.

It wasn’t a strict gag order, but they were worried that if people worldwide saw her pictures, they might underestimate the threat of dungeons.

If she wanted to post them, it would be better to wait until the general public had a better understanding of dungeons.

Meiko understood their reasoning and promised not to upload anything for the time being.

That said, she thought it might be fine to show the photos to close friends in her town. She wanted to teach them things like, “If you see spring balloons or grimoires from the first dungeon floor, you must run.”

And so, Meiko’s adventure came to an end—for now.