The Deal: Between Love and Favors

I made him sit in the armchair. Having him standing would be too strange.

— Please… don't touch me! — Min Jun-Ho suddenly said, startling me. He wasn't angry; his voice was filled with tension and fear. It was as if he was trying to avoid any physical contact, not out of rejection, but out of necessity.

I quickly pulled my hands away from him.

— Sorry, I just… forgot.— But I'm scared too. — I just prefer that you stay seated. — I said awkwardly.

— No… I mean, just not like that. Not so suddenly. I can't handle so many stimuli at once. Visual. Just visual. That's the deal.

I looked at him, curious. He was trying to protect himself, but he didn't actually want to push me away in the end.

— Don't make it seem like I'm the one forcing you into this. — I said, slightly annoyed.

— We're both in unfamiliar territory here. — he said with a small smile.

Then I climbed onto the bed, adjusting myself in a relaxed manner, trying to hide the trembling in my hands. After taking off my shoes, I leaned on my knees, legs slightly apart. He looked at me for a few seconds and then closed his eyes, agitated.

— Wait a little. I'm not ready yet. — Min Jun-Ho said, keeping his eyes shut as if he still didn't want to see me. Then he began to control his breathing.

— Let me know when you're ready. — I said, feeling slightly uncomfortable. All of this was confusing. No doubt about it.

Suddenly, he opened his eyes, sharp and focused on me. He looked determined.

— A-are you ready?

— Yes, sorry. It's not as easy as I thought, — he said, shaking his head and swallowing hard.

— Just watch me… I won't do anything to you. — I said.

He nodded.

What the hell? He's the one who put himself in this situation. Why propose something he can barely handle? The responsibility feels entirely mine!

I stared at him again. His wide, dark eyes, his determination—they started to suffocate me. A rush of adrenaline surged inside me. Apparently, I really liked this.

If I don't overthink it, I can do this.

— Ohh.

I smiled at his soft reaction. He seemed pleased to see how I was preparing myself.

— Jun-Ho…— I called as I moved.

— What? — He was leaning forward.

— Sit properly, Jun-Ho.

He quickly composed himself, pressed his legs together, and bit his lips, his eyes growing even wider.

I smiled, standing up without taking my eyes off him. I removed a piece of clothing, touching myself slowly, as if there were no shame in it. His gaze traveled over my body, attentive. I knew he was aroused, and that simple fact made me even more aware of everything around me.

I truly didn't know why he insisted on me to the point of forgiving a debt. And I didn't quite know why I was allowing myself to go through this, but here I was, enjoying the way he looked at me.

Min Jun-Ho was so beautiful, and if it weren't for this whole situation, maybe I would have even forgotten about Yoma.

I looked at him again, feeling my body heat up. I needed this—his gaze, his attention.

— Jun-Ho~ — His name slipped from my lips without thinking, but with an intensity he didn't ignore.

This wasn't the first time I had called him like that. Since that day, the feeling had always been the same, uncomfortable, but at the same time, enticing. He said he didn't feel desire, but why did it seem different with me? Something inside me ignited whenever he looked at me that way.

Apparently, I had a need, and Jun-Ho was taking advantage of it, even without realizing it.

Part of me wanted to understand what made him act this way, but another part—the more irrational one—enjoyed being the focus of his gaze.

— Salin-shi… — I heard Jun-Ho whisper, clearly in ecstasy. I couldn't look at him; my eyes were closed as I got lost in the sensations of the moment. But hearing his voice there affected me more than I could have imagined, bringing the reality that I wasn't alone, that he was there, watching me.

I let myself be carried away by the wave of pleasure, falling back onto the bed. Jun-Ho was still there, sitting in the chair, frozen. I, breathless, heard his voice.

— How do you do this to me? I feel like I love you. Be my boyfriend, Salin!

— I don't know if I can date, give myself to someone like that… without the touch, the connection, you know?

— I can overcome that, if it's with you!

I laughed, embarrassed.

— You're so crazy. — He seemed so determined, so innocent in his words, as if that was the solution to his problems. But I was here for another reason. I was doing this because I had a debt, because I needed to help my family, and he didn't even seem to care. He saw me in a way I couldn't understand. — So, did you get what you wanted?

— Yes, I did. I'm fine. ,— he said with a simple smile, and I laughed again, not knowing if it was out of relief or surprise.

— Good. Good for you.

— You're the only one who makes me feel this way… — he said with a silly smile, puffing his cheeks. — I've tried everything, watched so many videos, but I felt nothing. But here, with you, it's different.

I frowned. He seemed to be speaking very seriously about the impact of all this.

I got up from the bed. He stared at me while still seated in the chair.

— I understand what you're saying. But I don't want anything with you.

His eyes widened even more than usual, but this time, they weren't happy. But that wouldn't move me.

— Aren't you even going to think about it? I'd love to see you more often.

— I don't want to, Jun-Ho. You promised to forgive my family's debt if I did this. I did. Now it's over.

— Oh, yeah… Of course! — he responded as if snapping out of a trance. — There's no more debt.

— Great. From today on, I don't want to see you ever again. There are plenty of other people out there, you'll find someone.

— Can I use the bathroom? — I was the priority.

He seemed to hesitate before answering.

— Yes, of course. I need to go too. I'll call a driver for you. Feel free.

Suddenly, he seemed more serious, as if he had regained control of the situation. He stood up and left the room.

I walked toward the bathroom, feeling reality hit me. But it was too late for regrets.

I didn't want to feel dirty or guilty. In fact, I confess I was curious about what was going through his mind.

What did he really want from me?

Who was Min Jun-Ho, after all?