The Absolute Speed of a Certain Comic'

Chapter 31: ASCC-Chapter 31 What Kind of Wannabe Author Is This?



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"Who's there?" The tall, burly student stiffened, his eyes darting towards the sound.

"It's you?" He froze, surprise flashing across his face when he saw Ryoji.

"That's right. It's me." Ryoji calmly slipped his student handbook into his uniform pocket, acting as if nothing was amiss.

"You shouldn't have come." The burly student sneered with a menacing grin twisting his lips.

"Nonsense! It's obvious you guys followed me here!" Ryoji grinned, breaking the tense atmosphere.

"Eh… Now that you mention it, you're right!" The tall student blinked, realizing the truth in Ryoji's words.

"Hmph, since you've caught us, there's no helping it." He cleared his throat, lowering his voice menacingly.

"Let's settle this right here and now!"

"Doesn't that way of talking tire you out?" Ryoji tilted his head, genuinely perplexed.

"Doesn't it sound cool?" The burly student stammered.

"Not really. It's kinda weird, actually," Ryoji replied honestly.

"No way! I got that line from a novel. It was such a hype scene— right after the protagonist appeared, they instantly dominated the battlefield… Wait, why am I even telling you this?!"

He muttered to himself, dejected before his face hardened again.

"What kind of third-rate novel was that? The author must've been some wannabe hack. That dialogue is painfully amateurish and totally unsuitable for the Japanese market! If it were me, I'd never write something so lowbrow." Ryoji scoffed while shaking his head in disdain.

He had the right to criticize. After all, he had firsthand experience. His first and only attempt at writing a novel in Japan was heavily influenced by the simplistic, trope-heavy style popular in his home country. It had bombed so hard that it crushed his dream of becoming a professional web novel writer.

'Wait a second…'

As he thought about it, the burly student's cheesy dialogue sounded oddly familiar…

"Stop changing the subject!"

One of the henchmen interrupted, his face darkening as he forcibly steered the conversation back on track.

"Where's the little Onee San who was supposed to confess to you?"

"She's gone, probably."

"What?! Gone?!"

"Yeah, I already rejected her. She must've left by now. So, whatever sinister plan you guys cooked up won't work."

'As long as I reject them quickly enough, no one can pin the "Playboy" label on me!'

"You… You're wasting such a precious opportunity! That was a little Onee San! I've never even held hands with one in my life! Her skin must've been so smooth, and she probably felt amazing to the touch…"

The two henchmen stared at Ryoji in utter disbelief, their eyes filled with the accusation: 'How dare you squander such precious resources?'

"Sorry, I can't relate to the troubles of ugly bastards," Ryoji replied dryly, his voice utterly devoid of sincerity.

To the three students, his words were sharper than any blade, stabbing straight into their pride. Their faces darkened, and flames of anger blazed in their eyes.

"Damn it! Looks like we have to teach you a lesson!"

"The grudge of letting the little Onee San escape shall be paid for with your suffering!"

"The river reverses its flow after 30 years! Do not bully the youths just because they are poor!"

Each of the three shouted something dramatic, their faces flushed as they summoned their Spiritual Devices (their unique weapons or tools).

'Wait a fu*king minute… Did that tall guy just blurt out some awkward Chinese idiom? That's so cringey it could make me dig out a three-room apartment with my toes!'

Facing Three E-Rank Blazers

Ryoji stood still, deep in thought, even as three E-Rank Blazers faced him down.

Across from him, the towering student summoned a massive Zanbato taller than himself, while the two henchmen manifested a revolver and a black crossbow, respectively.

"Watch this move!"

The towering student hefted his Zanbato, spinning his body in a wide arc. His feet moved rapidly in a circular pattern, and the giant blade whistled through the air as he swung it toward Ryoji's waist.

Ryoji's gaze sharpened.

'Damn! He's swinging a Zanbato with such power and grace. His physical strength is incredible… I'm so envious!'

As the massive blade arced towards him, Ryoji didn't retreat. Instead, he stepped forward, closing the distance to within a foot of his opponent. His right hand gripped his own Spiritual Device as it materialized in a flash of light.

"Vrring~!"

Ryoji ducked low, his blade skimming lightly across the towering student's leg like a dragonfly touching the water.

"Aargh!"

The towering student's face turned pale as his body tipped to the side. His powerful spin attack was abruptly cut short, and the Zanbato veered wildly out of control, its sheer weight pulling him down.

Before he could react, the Zanbato's gravitational pull caused him to collapse in pain, crashing unceremoniously to the ground.

In truth, wielding a Zanbato effectively required maintaining perfect balance. Any deviation in the wielder's center of gravity rendered its power useless. 

The towering student had made a critical mistake by spinning on one foot, a flaw Ryoji exploited with surgical precision. His strike sapped the strength from the student's supporting leg, toppling him instantly.

"Bang!"

With the towering student down, the henchman with the revolver seized the opportunity. Now that their leader was no longer obstructing his line of sight, he pulled the trigger, sending a bullet speeding toward Ryoji's head.

This, however, betrayed his inexperience.

Aiming for the head was the easiest way to miss; the trajectory was too predictable, and any opponent skilled in observation could dodge by anticipating the trigger pull. The chest was a far better target, as it allowed for less chance of evasion.

Ryoji's eyes never left the shooter's body, and he timed the shot perfectly. Just before the bullet left the barrel, he tilted his head at lightning speed, dodging the round by a hair's breadth.

"Vrring~!"

In the same motion, Ryoji swung his blade in reverse.

The peculiar sound echoed as his katana struck a magic-powered arrow in mid-air, shattering it to pieces. The arrow had been loosed by the third henchman, who had been waiting for his moment to strike.

Both henchmen were stunned.

Dodging a bullet and slicing an arrow in the same breath— such feats existed only in the most fantastical action videos they'd ever watched online. Seeing it happen in real life defied everything they thought they knew about the world.

"Huff—!"

Ryoji flipped his blade into a reverse grip and hurled it with a casual motion.

"Wuaah—!"

The henchman holding the crossbow let out a terrified scream.

He watched helplessly as the spinning silver katana streaked toward him. His face drained of color, and he reflexively shut his eyes, bracing for the worst.

"Bang!"

"Aargh—!"

A gunshot rang out, followed by a pained cry.

The crossbow wielder cautiously opened his eyes, his confusion plain.

Next to him, his companion clutched his chest, his face pale as he collapsed to the ground.

The revolver?

It was now in Ryoji's hand, its barrel pointed directly at the fallen henchman.

The katana?

It lay harmlessly on the ground, its hilt smeared with dirt.

The crossbow wielder instinctively patted himself down, finding only a faint ache in his chest. It wasn't the sharp pain of a blade tip but rather the blunt thud of a hilt hitting him squarely.

Across from him, Ryoji calmly raised the revolver again, aiming it directly at his trembling figure.

"Bang!"

(To Be Continued)


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