Teacher, Is This Your First Time?

3

Years of living as a dependent had changed me to respond keenly to even the smallest sounds. If I had to find an advantage, it was that thanks to becoming a light sleeper, I rarely overslept. Usually, I would wake up even before the alarm went off.

Of course, occasionally there were mornings when I didn’t naturally wake up but suddenly opened my eyes wide. If I felt an ominously peaceful feeling at those times, there was only one answer.

[I’ve arrived, Jae-yun.]

[Jae-yun, are you running late?]

[Are you still sleeping?]

Add to that three messages that arrived in succession at irregular intervals, plus three or four missed calls, and it was practically confirmed.

First, I put a toothbrush in my mouth while struggling to pull up my pants with one hand.

[Senioorr I overslepttㅜㅠ go ahead withoutt me]

The message I sent with my other hand was already an hour ago. Which meant my work start time had long since passed.

“Thank you for your hard work!”

As soon as I got out of the taxi, I ran looking straight ahead. Since I had deliberately stopped the taxi a little away from the school gate, there was some distance to the school. The three thousand-won bills that I was still holding in my hand without having put them in my wallet fluttered as I ran mindlessly.

“Haaa……”

Only after leaning my back against the reddish-brown brick wall surrounding the school could I catch my rapid breath. In fact, it wasn’t so much that I now had the leisure to catch my breath, but rather that I didn’t have the courage to head straight for the main gate.

The wall against which I was leaning extended in both directions, but there was only one way I had to go. The main gate was the only way in or out of the school.

I straightened my back fully and held my neck upright. I pressed my head, back, and heels even more firmly against the wall. I moved my feet stealthily with slow, crab-like steps. As I approached the corner where the wall bent, the murmuring sounds grew gradually louder.

I stopped for a moment. Then, after exhaling a short deep breath, I slowly and very carefully poked my head out. The school gate gradually came into view beyond the corner.

The first thing that caught my eye was a face distorted with anger.

“Those who think they can run slowly because they’re already late will run an extra ten laps around the field!”

Just then, a booming scolding poured out. The next thing my gaze fixed on was the thick cane firmly gripped by a hand with its shirt sleeves rolled up to the forearm.

Startled, I quickly pulled back my head that had been cautiously peeking out and pressed it against the wall. I shut my eyes tight.

“…What should I do?”

Regardless of my fretting, the ferocious voice that had erupted once continued to come over the wall that my back was touching. Only then did I belatedly recall the reason for the unusually sharp atmosphere today.

‘We plan to conduct a major gate inspection tomorrow, so teachers, please pay special attention tomorrow.’

It was a stern warning set by the student guidance teacher. The voice that remained faintly in my memory overlapped with the booming voice echoing in front of the school gate.

Tomorrow. He said tomorrow. That was today. I had thought it wouldn’t concern me since I had my senior’s car as a reliable ally. Because of that, I recalled my halfhearted response and pressed my throbbing forehead firmly.

I couldn’t pass through the main gate with confidence, but I couldn’t not go to work either. Even if I mustered up the courage to peek my head out a little again, it quickly came back. Meanwhile, my two feet stuck firmly to the ground didn’t budge at all.

What to do? What to do? Like a desperate woodpecker, I banged the back of my head against the wall until my eyes suddenly opened wide.

If I can’t pass through the entrance, I could just climb over the wall, right?

Maybe that would be better, I thought. I confidently faced the wall I had been turning my back on all this time. But laughably, despite looking up confidently, its top was a bit different from my memory. The wall that I thought was just a little taller than me now seemed endlessly high. There was no need to measure. Just looking at it, I couldn’t think of anything except how daunting it was.

…How am I supposed to climb over that? I immediately admitted it was an unreasonable desire for me and quickly gave up. In my urgency, I had momentarily forgotten that I was particularly terrible at physical education.

No matter how anxiously I tapped my foot, no answer would come, and nothing would be different from before. Only time had passed, and I couldn’t do anything either way.

Meanwhile, the voice coming again from the direction of the gate began to shake me once more. The tree that had been standing there since earlier now seemed to be standing as if telling me to step on it and climb over. Its trunk looked quite sturdy, so maybe it could support someone like me.

Courage sprouted on its own, though I hadn’t planted any seeds. If I step here first, then there, and then climb up over there… In my imagination, I climbed the tree as nimbly as a squirrel.

What woke me from this thought, closer to a vain delusion than imagination, was a low voice from behind me.

“Late?”

And quite close, too.

Tension rose sharply in my right shoulder where I felt the presence. Until just moments ago, there was no one here but me. So that was clearly directed at me. Please, please. I slowly turned around.

“Won’t they see you from the gate?”

“…Huh?”

It was a familiar face. The class president of my senior’s class. The tall, handsome boy. His name was…

“If you climb the wall. You won’t be hidden.”

Woo Tae-seon.

As my gaze moved to the name tag on his left chest, the three characters of the name in my memory simultaneously sprang from between my lips. I jerked my head up at a small laugh. Woo Tae-seon was smiling slightly.

Rather than being surprised at how he knew what I was thinking only to myself, my heart beat unsteadily because there was something I hadn’t even considered.

“…They can see?”

“Probably.”

If Woo Tae-seon had come just a little later. If I had climbed the wall without meeting Woo Tae-seon…

Just imagining it was the worst. That would truly have been shameful. I felt fortunate that I hadn’t acted rashly. Not that I had the courage to climb the wall anyway.

“Uh, that…”

“Yes?”

“No. It’s nothing…”

I quickly closed my mouth with a “heup” sound after starting to open it. What was I about to say? Hey, could you keep this a secret? Us, meeting here… I deliberately scattered the voice floating around in my head.

Having been caught not only being late but also trying to climb the wall, I couldn’t ask for secrecy either. Although it was the most desperate part for me, it wasn’t appropriate as something a teacher would say to a student.

Moreover, I couldn’t think of a natural way to recover from what I had unconsciously started to say. I couldn’t possibly come up with one. As I had felt since earlier, my deliberations were nearly useless. Considering that the only method I came up with after racking my brains was simply to avoid that gaze for now, it was certain.

But there was one thing I overlooked. I hadn’t realized that such hemming and hawing or fretting was no different from honestly telling the truth.

I thought Woo Tae-seon in front of me and the main gate behind me were closing in on me from both sides. Although it was actually me who was making the situation worse, I just bit my lower lip hard and regretted.

As time passed, no suitable answer emerged, and my anxiety only grew. I should have just gone earlier. I shouldn’t have hesitated. Of course, my regrets also kept growing. My pointless hesitation only further delayed the already late time.

“Want me to show you a secret way in?”

Secret? I met his clear eyes.

It was fascinating. As if he somehow understood my dilemma, though he looked at me questioningly, he didn’t ask anything, yet Woo Tae-seon nodded his head lightly. Despite the secretive word he chose, his attitude was straightforward and casual.

My gaze must have contained not only questions but also expectations. Could I really sneak in? Amid my desperate feelings, a desire to agree began to leak out. I swallowed hard.

I’m not saying I didn’t suspect he might be playing me. Maybe earlier I would have, but now my desperation was slightly greater than my suspicion.

“…Is there such a way?”

Although I asked cautiously, there was no answer from Woo Tae-seon. Instead, he slightly tilted his head toward behind him as if telling me to follow. Then he turned around and walked ahead. Woo Tae-seon didn’t even check if I was following him. Rather, he walked with big strides as if confident.

I alternately looked back at Woo Tae-seon’s retreating figure, quickly distancing from me, and the wall from which the still very angry voice was coming.

Compared to the endless deliberation, the decision made out of urgency was quick. What lifted my feet from the ground, which had been stuck like a wooden statue, wasn’t the angry voice but the small laugh.

With quick steps, but maintaining a constant distance, I followed him. Woo Tae-seon’s long legs finally stopped after turning one more corner.

“He…re?”

What awaited me was very different from what I had imagined when I followed him, expecting a back door or a shortcut.

In the corner of the wall hidden in dense grass, there was a hole. Next to this hole, which was like what you’d call a dog hole, were Woo Tae-seon’s snow-white sneakers. The secret method Woo Tae-seon offered to show me was to pass through this hole.

Certainly, a hole this small would go unnoticed by anyone, but that didn’t mean I could move readily. Even if this was the only way, a teacher couldn’t crawl on the dirt in front of a student. Of course, this wasn’t the kind of dilemma I should have after coming all the way here following that student.

Woo Tae-seon waited patiently for me as I struggled. In truth, the deliberation wasn’t that long. It couldn’t be. I knew that the more I hesitated, the only thing that would change was the accumulating time.