Surviving as a Trash Bard in a Game

My head throbbed.

A sensation I hadn't felt in a long time.

It didn't particularly feel like my intelligence had increased or decreased. I just hoped it hadn't already been fixed at a lowered state.

'I mean, that damn priest hit me.'

Was it a knockout? No, it probably wasn't a loss of consciousness for long enough to be called that. If it had been, I would have seen a strange ceiling for the first time.

"...Hah."

I sighed.

It felt like I suddenly had a lot more to think about.

Up until now, I had thought that the status window and narration couldn't actually affect my body directly. At most, I thought they could only give penalties.

It's not like my body hurts, it's just that if I overdo it a bit, I cough a little, spit up some blood, fall asleep once a day, and I'm clumsy.

'Wait, listing them out like that, it seems a bit severe.'

Maybe it's not something I can just brush off?

I slowly sat up with my body that moved strangely well, and looked around.

Skyler was looking at me with worried eyes, and when I confirmed that there was indeed 'worry' in his expression, I felt an indescribable satisfaction.

Nisha, who had been wagging her tail like a fox next to Skyler, was also nowhere to be seen, and only Propertius was present.

Propertius wasn't paying any attention to me, and was sweating profusely next to Skyler, talking to him in an unfitting manner.

Perhaps... an excuse? I don't know. I can't hear the content very well.

I slowly move my feet. My body is still light. It's hard to believe that I was the person lying on the floor just a moment ago.

"...Hello?"

Perhaps he hadn't sensed my presence at all, but Propertius was startled and looked back. His face was slightly paler than before.

"..."

"Aren't you going to apologize?"

"I apologize."

"Why is a priest so fast in the first place? Are all humans with physical bodies these kinds of monsters?"

"To correct you, if you don't become strong to this extent, your body will be taken by others. Would it be easier to understand if I said survival of the fittest?"

"I don't like it."

Skyler squeezed his body between Propertius and me, physically separating us.

It was a move as if to intentionally exclude the priest from the conversation.

The words that came out of Skyler's mouth after breaking off the conversation were a bit out of my expectation.

"You could have just surrendered."

"Are you blaming me for this?!"

"No, it's more accurate to say that both of you are at fault. You could have surrendered midway, but you clenched your teeth and tried to win. Do you think I didn't see that?"

"..."

"You realized midway that you couldn't win. You should have surrendered before you got hurt when you saw the odds. I really don't understand why you never think about your own body before you act. It even looked like you deliberately didn't avoid getting hit at the end."

No, a man doesn't avoid a fight. Surrendering midway is absolutely out of the question.

And, I really couldn't avoid that.

Damn status window.

'......If I say it was a manly act, they'll look at me like I'm a mental patient.'

Let's just keep my mouth shut and stay still with a 'I'm sorry, it was all my fault' expression. The nagging won't last long anyway.

Originally, the plan was to call a carriage and head to another city by now.

Let's just zone out. Let it in one ear and out the other, and just kill some time. How much time has passed like that? Skyler finally closed his mouth.

In the distance, Nisha was waving her hand and approaching us.

Suddenly, I felt a surge of annoyance.

Nisha clung to me, acting all friendly, and rubbed her face against mine with her characteristic good-natured smile. I could feel her soft skin and unique scent.

If I had experienced this when I was still a man, it would have undoubtedly been the moment when high-density fluid rushed to the corpora cavernosa, but all I felt was an inexplicable emptiness.

My mood worsened.

Whether she understood my mood or was just completely oblivious.

Nisha, with a face full of curiosity, kept her body pressed against mine and fired off a barrage of questions she had been wondering about.

"The principle of replacing magical incantations with melodies?"

"Excuse me?"

"Honestly, bards are a rare profession. Aside from the people begging in taverns or hanging around brothels, it's hard to find a real bard these days."

"Is it that rare?"

"No, if you want to be precise, it's not that rare. I've been active long enough to reach platinum, after all. I've seen a lot."

A bit disappointing.

There's something about the term "rare profession" that strikes a chord in a man's heart. That special feeling of being able to do something others can't! You know what I mean, right?

But is the bard of this era someone who replaces the incantations of mages with music? If so, could I possibly imitate what mages can do?

'Like shooting fireballs from a lute.'

Noticing my expression, Nisha immediately began to correct her explanation.

"I don't know what you're imagining to make that face, but it's probably not going to happen."

"...Ah."

"There's nothing I can do even if you look at me with such a disappointed gaze. In the first place, auxiliary magic is the limit with just playing. If you have 'Magical Poem', why don't you just learn magic properly this time?"

My intelligence is 2.

Do you think I can learn magic properly?

I wanted to retort immediately, but even if I talked about my intelligence stat that no one else can see and said I couldn't learn magic, I'd just be treated like a weirdo.

I felt like sighing, but I just swallowed it down.

'Honestly, that's not what's important right now.'

Why did Propertius suddenly ask me for a duel? And why didn't he stop midway and hit me in the head with his palm?

That's what's important.

Carefully removing Nisha's overwhelming touch, and letting Skyler's nagging go in one ear and out the other. I immediately took a step towards Propertius.

And he took a step back.

Sweating profusely, taking a step back every time I approached, he looked far from the imposing figure he had been during the duel.

"...Do you have anything to say?"

"I believe I already apologized earlier."

Do you know something? You guys are people of a fantasy world, so you might not know, but in a small peninsula at the end of the East, there's this tradition.

People of the 'Land of the Eastern Courtesy' have a national trait of instantly losing their manners when they think they are superior.

Especially when one person's fault ratio is clearly high, and I have suffered physical damage as a result, there is a very effective technique.

"My body still hurts. I wish I could at least get some compensation for treatment."

"......Pardon?"

"Look. I'm bruised, right?"

"I don't see anything."

"Do you have a problem with your eyesight? Look closely."

"I healed you directly with divine power. There's no way you're still bruised. I'd appreciate it if you'd stop with this kind of joke-"

Cough.

I coughed.

Silence.

Uh, yeah. Honestly, I didn't intend for this to happen.

If I had to say, it was more of an accident where coincidence overlapped with coincidence. It's true that I was trying to get some money for treatment, but I didn't want this much. Really!

Yes. I coughed up blood in front of Propertius, Nisha, and... Skyler.

There was red, sticky blood on my palm. It was closer to black than red, and closer to jelly or pudding than liquid.

It was gross, disgusting, and I doubted that this came out of my body. The disgusting smell that came late made me feel even worse.

I felt like retching, but I managed to swallow it down.

Memories of acid reflux and rhinitis came flooding back. I hadn't experienced them since I was trapped in this perfect body that I customized myself.

"Th, this, how this happened is."

"No explanation is necessary. It seems there were internal injuries that I didn't heal with divine power. This is clearly my mistake. I apologize again."

"No, it's fine."

"Even if it's not for medical expenses, I will prepare compensation for my mistake. This all started because of my misunderstanding."

With Propertius's enigmatic words, a cluster of white light gathered in his palm like fireflies, then suddenly flew towards my face.

The throbbing in my head subsided a little, and that was all. I didn't feel like my condition had improved dramatically.

With the unwelcome news that the status penalties for health and strength couldn't be resolved with just two uses of divine power, we received a small compensation and were finally able to leave the church.

As a bonus, the look in Skyler's eyes as he looked at me changed from that of looking at a human to that of looking at something on the edge of humanity.

With a much heavier pouch, we set off for the next town.

For reference, the money received went to the coachman. It wasn't even that much. Damn priest.

Inside the rattling carriage, I stifled a yawn and rolled the lute on my lap. The boring fields outside the window stretched endlessly.

'I'm getting tired of this. It feels like the same scene repeating over and over. I hope a slightly different story awaits us in the next town.'

Skyler, sitting across from me, was still focused on his book. His black robe made him look as neat as a crow, and his fashion sense was still much more mature than mine.

"Skyler, aren't you bored?"

"No, I'm fine."

I tried to strike up a conversation to relieve my boredom, but he answered without even lifting his head. How uninteresting.

In the end, to relieve my boredom, I chose to look at the sky outside the carriage and match the shapes of the clouds to animals in my imagination.

"Doesn't that cloud look like a dragon?"

Hearing my words, Skyler moved his serious amber eyes to look at the sky.

He finally took his eyes off the book.

"If you burn just one scroll, you can create a real dragon with magic and reproduce it in a small size. There's no need to look at clouds."

"You have no romance."

"Is romance necessary for a journey?"

"Of course."

Without realizing it, my hand moved on its own and picked up the lute.

Plucking the strings, a pleasant melody reached my ears.

Skyler sighed softly, but my eyes didn't miss the faint smile on his lips.

"Let's do this. Next time, will you show me a real dragon made of magic?"

"We need to save scrolls for now. Maybe later, when I get my magic back."

"Alright."

The carriage continued to rattle along. The clouds in the sky still held the shape of a dragon, and Skyler turned his eyes back to his book.

Sometimes, the imagination of a humble bard could create something greater than the illusions of a great mage.

Looking at the dragon made of clouds, we continued on to the next town.

The adventure was still ongoing.