Shut Up, Malevolent Dragon! I Don’t Want to Have Any More Children With You

Claudia pushed open the garden gate, and she, Rosvisser, and Rebecca walked over to where Leon lay sprawled on the grass.
Rosvisser bent down, resting her hands on her knees, her silver hair cascading down as her delicate face came into Leon’s line of sight.

“Was the last time you had a nosebleed when I wore that bunny suit for you?”
“…That’s… let’s keep that between us, alright?” Leon stammered, glad that Rebecca and Claudia had already gone over to interact with A-Donkey, sparing them this little inside joke.
Rosvisser handed him a handkerchief. Leon accepted it, sat up, and wiped his nose, while she leaned down to pat the hoofprint off his face.

Meanwhile, across the garden, A-Donkey had completely changed his tune. The very donkey that had just kicked Leon without mercy was now practically nuzzling Rebecca, his floppy ears drooping as he rubbed against her baby-faced cheeks.
Leon gritted his teeth, clutching the handkerchief tightly. “Darn…”
Rosvisser thought he was about to curse A-Donkey for his inconsistent affections. But instead, he muttered:

“Darn Rebecca, stealing my donkey like that.”
Rosvisser blinked. *So, he’s actually jealous… over his “first love” donkey being taken?*
Strangely enough, she sensed a hint of rivalry—a feeling almost like jealousy— in the air. It wasn’t exactly the typical love triangle. No, this was something rarer.

It was a donkey love ◈ Nоvеlіgһт ◈ (Continue reading) triangle.
“Don’t get too riled up over Rebecca,” Rosvisser teased. “Something even more frustrating is coming up.”
Leon glanced at her, “What do you mean?”

Rosvisser smirked, nodding toward A-Donkey. “See for yourself.”
Leon looked back and saw that Rebecca had stopped her affectionate petting, only for A-Donkey to trot straight into Claudia’s embrace.
Claudia, ever the elegant beauty, stroked A-Donkey’s ears fondly, cooing, “A-Donkey, you’re the sweetest, most well-behaved little one, aren’t you? Never kicking anyone, right?”

A-Donkey let out a cheerful “Eee-aw!”
“Good boy. Tonight, you’ll get extra carrots.”
Leon: = =

Rosvisser watched with amusement as he struggled to keep his cool. “I think I just heard the sound of something shattering.”
“…What?”
“Oh, probably someone’s heart breaking into tiny pieces~” Rosvisser said, feigning sympathy.
Before becoming a queen, Rosvisser had read countless romance novels, including many classics that still lined her bookshelf. Back then, she never understood why some authors would add “third-party interference” or “unrequited love” into one-on-one romances. Weren’t those scenes heartbreaking for readers? Why write them?

Now, though, she got it.
Seeing her husband’s “true love” seemingly stolen away right before his eyes, his despair jumped off the page and into her life, becoming one of her new favorite pastimes.
Especially when the despairing hero was her own husband.

“Me? Heartbroken? Who’s heartbroken?” Leon jumped to his feet, dusting off his pants. “Rebecca’s played with A-Donkey plenty of times before, and Claudia’s probably been feeding him for years now. It’s only natural he’s close to them. Totally normal.”
Rosvisser kept her gaze on him, even while their topic of discussion was a donkey. It wasn’t that Leon was her entire world; she just loved watching his defiant, stubborn expression.
“So… was that explanation meant to convince me, or yourself?” she asked, her smile widening.

“Obviously, it’s for… I mean, of course, I’m explaining it for you—” He caught himself. “Er, I mean, I’m just stating the facts here.”
“Of course, of course,” Rosvisser nodded with mock solemnity.
“Hey, lady, are you doubting me?” Leon protested.

Rosvisser tilted her head slightly. “No, I believe you.”
“You don’t! You might as well write ‘I don’t believe you’ across your forehead!”
Rosvisser’s smile turned mischievous, her playful side sparked. “And if I don’t believe you, what would you do about it?”

“Tch, my donkey’s not usually like this! He’s just out of sorts because it’s been so long since he saw me.”
An idea crossed Leon’s mind. If he couldn’t salvage the situation with A-Donkey, he could at least drag Rosvisser into it. “Want to bet? If you try to get close, I guarantee he’ll give you a good kick.”
“Oh really?” she replied, intrigued.

Of course, Leon was certain. A-Donkey had been trained to be incredibly alert, neighing in warning the moment a stranger got within ten feet. If they dared approach further, well, they’d be met with a swift hoof.
Leon’s master had never needed a guard dog. With a donkey like A-Donkey, who needed one?
He didn’t answer directly, just shrugged mysteriously. “Why don’t you try and find out?”

“Alright, I will.”
The couple strolled over to where Rebecca and A-Donkey stood.
“Captain, did your nose stop bleeding?” Rebecca asked, glancing at him.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” he replied.
Before they could continue, Rebecca noticed Rosvisser reaching out to touch A-Donkey.
“Sis, be careful!” Rebecca warned.

Rosvisser paused, looking at her. “Why?”
“A-Donkey doesn’t like strangers touching him. He’ll kick you,” Rebecca explained earnestly.
“Oh, I…”

“Let her try, if she insists on ignoring the warning,” Leon interjected, clearly ready for some schadenfreude.
“Well then…” Rosvisser said with a shrug.
“Just be cautious, sis. A-Donkey’s got a fast kick! The first time I met him, I didn’t react fast enough,” Rebecca cautioned.

Rosvisser just smiled. “Noted.”
She shot a quick look at Leon, who was practically grinning from ear to ear, waiting to see her get kicked.
*Idiot,* she thought, smiling slyly.

Slowly, she extended her soft, pale hand, moving closer to A-Donkey’s head.
Rebecca and Leon both watched, holding their breath. Rebecca was tense, worried her sister-in-law might not escape A-Donkey’s sudden kick, while Leon was secretly hoping Rosvisser would join him in his misfortune. If he had to be the only one kicked, that just wouldn’t be fair!
But—

Rosvisser’s hand came to rest on A-Donkey’s head, gently stroking his fur in a soothing motion.
No sudden kick came. A-Donkey stood there, perfectly calm under her touch. He even leaned in closer, encouraging her to scratch his ears.
“Wow~ Sis! A-Donkey likes you!” Rebecca cheered, rushing over to pet him alongside Rosvisser.

Claudia watched with a warm smile.
↑
*At that moment, it looked like the four of them were one big happy family…*

*Meanwhile, I, Leon Cosmod… am just the odd one out.*
Leon’s composure started to crack.
“How… how could this happen…”

“Where’s your donkey radar, A-Donkey? What about your swift hoof? Where’s your majestic spirit!”
“Shi.t!”
“You see a pretty woman and go soft, huh? Shameful!”

Meanwhile, Rosvisser turned to him, still petting A-Donkey’s soft ears, smiling in smug triumph.
Her expression said it all: *What’s wrong? Your ‘first love’ is mine now.*
At that moment, Rosvisser felt she finally understood the satisfaction of being a “donkey-stealer.”

Long live the joy of donkey love triangles!
 
 

_____________________
TL NOTE: Please don't skimp on the stars for the translation - I'd really like to see how far Leon goes and how far we can increase the number of chapters. Thanks~!