Shinobi:The RPG

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Eventually, as all things must, summer came to an end and I shed tears of joy as the single most boring period of my life came to a close. I was so happy, my backpack was full of lunch and I was heading to the academy for throwing fireballs and being awesome.

Basically being a Shinobi.

I am ready. I AM SO FREAKING READY I CAN'T STAND IT.

I MEAN REALLY.

"Bye Naruto," I said, waving at him over my shoulder as I left.

"Bye Daisuke!" Naruto called out from behind me.

What a great kid. He'll definitely grow up to be the hero the story needs. And me? Well, I'm going to learn how to…well, first I'm going to learn the Academy three, level up a bunch of times and hopefully be able to learn cool stuff from whoever my Jounin Sensei is. Then I'm going to roflstomp pretty much everything that stands in my way and…I actually don't know. Maybe I'll travel?

Barring any railroading, this is going to be great.

Quest Update: The First Step

Attend your first day of school.

FINALLY! YES! THE FIRST QUEST OF THE GAME! WITH BIG REWARDS AND BIGGER PAYOFFS! HALLELEUJA!

I approached the front gate of the academy. Parents, teachers and new students were gathered together, standing before the podium to watch the Hokage give his speech to further indoctrinate the impressionable young youths before him to help bolster Konoha's mercenary force.

Don't get me wrong, I like Konoha. Their policies make my old world morals cringe and scream in agony and outrage. But they don't apply right now. Not in the slightest. Not until I can back them up with a giant fireball. Or a million.

…by hook or by crook, I am stealing a fire jutsu from the Uchiha. Those are awesome. Also, irony points. Those are always good.

Is the speech still going on?

"…you will learn what the Will of Fire…"

It's still going on. Anyway, I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it, in this world, to do what I've always done and put all my points into one skill every level until it's maxed or to split them evenly. On one hand, it guarantees that I WILL be able to handle anything involving that skill. If it involves, say stealth or Taijutsu, where an error could mean death, I won't fail barring obscene penalties. With the right perks, even those won't be so bad I can't maneuver around.

But if I need a certain skill at a certain time and I haven't trained it, which has happened in my games, it could go badly. Very badly. We could end up in an avoidable fight, like in the cases of Stealth when I decided to max out Guns first.

Though maxing out Guns first was worth it to delete the first Legion Patrol I saw.

Hmmmm…let's think about this and decide when I level up.

How's the speech coming?

"…thank you."

Perfect timing.

With that, we were lead into the academy to begin orientation. Didn't see Iruka, which makes sense, there's more teachers than just him. My sensei was an older guy. Grey hair. Had an eyepatch, which looked intimidating.

"Good morning students," He said, writing Kanji on the board. "My name is Okawa Yuko. I'll be your Sensei for the duration of your time here."

I look around the class and see literally no one I should be able to recognize. Nope. No Konoha 11 for me. I am on my own. Which could be a good thing. I don't want to get mad at Neji this early. Because I would get mad.

"Now, before we begin with the rest of orientation, I'm going to pass out a quiz."

Groans passed through the class, only for the whole class, including me, to get sent straight to seated-attention when the room shook and lightning strikes a little birdy outside on a clear day. At least I think it struck a little birdy.

"It's just a survey to see what your preferences for specialization are," Sensei Okawa snapped, handing a pile to a kid on the end of each row.

Eventually I got mine. I looked at it and mentally sighed. It was the G.O.A.T from Fallout 3, only modified to fit the Naruto universe. It was stupid. Really stupid. It was the one thing I remember disliking from Fallout 3. I did not spend fifty bucks to sit in a classroom to take a written exam.

So, I looked at all the questions and filled out the bubbles at random. I don't really care what it said, but If they're going to subject me to a meaningless test, especially when I get to just pick the results of the test later, I'mma doodle a smiley face with little dots.

Sure enough, the moment I finished the test, a screen with all the skills showed up with. With three tagged skills. In the Fallout games, when you tag a skill, you picked what you were supposed to be good at. In Fallout 3, it added 15 skill points to the skills themselves, to give you a boost. The three skills currently tagged were Melee Weapons, Ranged Weapons and Barter.

The only one I thought was good was Barter, since that made supplies cheaper. However, the other two were Melee Weapons, which I already decided I don't want and ranged weapons, where the whole point was to toss them at the enemy and end up restocking at the end of a successful mission. Since we have jutsu, which is like ranged weaponry but with infinite ammo, that just makes it an impractical money sink. So, I untagged all three and put them where I thought they should go.

That would be Taijutsu, Chakra Control and Speech. Taijutsu because that's going to get me a lot of experience in the short run, Chakra Control because it's just that valuable in learning jutsu (which I suppose will be around levels 20 to 40 before seals take over) and Speech to compensate for my crappy charisma. Hopefully, that'll make for an…at least bearable time at school. This brought Taijutsu to 32, Chakra Control to 42 and Speech to 24.

Pressing 'done', I watched as the dots on my test skipped and rearranged themselves on the test by magic. I snorted.

"Shimoda," Sensei called to me. "Is there something funny?"

"Uh…sorry, Sensei," I said, sheepishly. "I just got a joke that got told to me this morning."

He groaned in annoyance. "Very well."

There is no way he bought that.

*cha-ching!*

I saw the EXP bar go from 100 to 200, and then another message popped up. Charisma Check Failed: 1/6.

Nope. Did not buy that at all. Then where did all the EXP come fr-oh, right. The G.O.A.T.

After the test was passed, we were told to report to the training fields outside the academy. On my way out, I could feel Sensei Okawa's eyes on me. Eugh that's creepy. Like the feeling of my nonexistent sins crawling on my back.

So, we were escorted by another Chunin whose name I don't know yet. We were in lines the whole time, boys on one side, girls on the other. I briefly considered goose stepping out of audacity but decided against it when I realized I would accidentally kick the person in front of me. And the fact that no one around me would get the joke.

In the training room, we were greeted by a silver haired Chunin, complete with official flak jacket. I always thought those were really cool. I want one.

"Hello everyone," He waved at us. "I'm Mizuki and I'll be your Taijutsu instructor."

Hey, someone else I recognized! Cool! I wonder if he's a complete jerk right now or if that comes later. I hope it's later. I haven't actually seen too much about Mizuki aside from him getting mauled by a mountain of clones. Which, admittedly was pretty funny when he tried to kill Naruto just before.

Anyway, that was before, this is now.

"So, who here has some Taijutsu training?" Mizuki asked.

Hands went up, but mine wasn't one of them. I guess I did technically have training now, with the skill tags, I don't think it's worth to tip my hand just yet. There was a potential traitor in the midst, after all.

"So about half of you?" Mizuki said with a sniff. "Alright, we can work with that. Everyone that raised their hand step over here. Everyone that did not, over here."

I moved over with the group who did not raise their hands. When we were in place, Mizuki started matching us up in pairs. My sparring partner was a prospective Kunoichi, with long black hair with locks going down her shoulders. She wore a green shirt with a white stripe going down the center, with black pants and ninja-sandal's.

"Hi, I'm Daisuke," I said with a smile. "What's your name?"

She let out an exasperated sigh. "Hisako."

"Bow to your partners!" Mizuki ordered and I followed. Upon coming back up, I saw that she had returned it.

"Now, you each will spar with each other until the bell rings. Then you will take a quick water break and we will head over to the target range," Mizuki said. "No permanent injury. No broken bones. This is just to see where everyone stands. We'll be watching. Ready? Set!"

The bell rung.

Hisako wasted no time in rushing me with a fist directed at my face. I slapped it out of the way with a hand to her forearm, before retaliating with a kick to the stomach, which sent her back a couple feet. She blinked, holding her stomach, looking at me with a risen eyebrow.

I offered a small smile.

She assumed an actual stance and started to circle.

This time, I went in for the attack, going for a fist to the face which disguised another punch to the stomach. She crossed her wrists and caught the punch, sending it upward over her head, then she counter attacked by bringing her elbow down on my shoulder-OW THE PAIN!

I went down with a yelp and saw my health bar for the first time, and it was going down by forty-five points, yowza. That spelled the end of my feint and I got up and quickly moved back before she could hit my face for real.

I brought up my fists in a pseudo boxing stance. Okay, clearly this girl knew what she was doing. And this is literally the first fist fight I've ever been in either my lives. She moved forward in a zigzag, before she went in for a circle kick to knock my feet out from under me. I simply jumped over it and brought my fist down on her face on the way down.

She was knocked to the floor only to jump back up and away from me.

You know, if I could go for a permanent injury, this fight would've been over much more quickly. This is getting a little bor-ohcrapdodge!

She came back in with a fist to the face, which I dodged. I tried my own punch to the chest, but she dodged to the side and kicked at my stomach, which I dropped to the floor to dodge, hopping right back up to kick her in the stomach again.

The kick landed and she was knocked back onto her rear.

"Why do you keep-" She breathed heavily. "Kicking me in the stomach?"

"I dunno, obvious target," I said, shrugging.

She looked up and glared, rising sharply to her feet, about to say something.

The bell dinged. She glared at me and simply walked off with a huff.

Cha-ching!

I will never get used to that. Another 100 EXP and suddenly, I'm now 30% of the way to level 2. Whoo! I'm on the highway to l33tness now!

Okay, not really. But still. I'm guessing radiant quests will be a thing aren't there.

Another settlement needs your-

PRESTON I SWEAR TO-oh, the class is leaving. Whoops.

I hurried over to the group and kept pace with the back. I didn't see Hisako again which I will count as a blessing because I do not want to get jumped by a bunch of students who may, in fact, be as good or better as I am. At least not until I can be sure that non-lethal K. O.'s actually get me experience. I hope they do. Or this is going to be a long school year.

Long four years, actually.

So, there were five targets.

"Okay!" Mizuki called out. "So, you have five kunai in the little bucket to your right. You must throw them all and try to hit the center of the target as close and or as often as you can! When everyone is finished and we give the all clear, you will go and collect your kunai and deposit them in the bucket for the next student. Is that clear?"

There were scattered 'Hai, Sensei's' scattered throughout the group.

"I said," Mizuki cleared his throat. "IS THAT CLEAR!"

"HAI, SENSEI!" I certainly shouted at the top of my lungs.

"Much better!" Mizuki nodded with approval. "But seriously, wait until we give the all clear. People with bad aim become really good at hitting people when they don't want to be."

Ooh. That can't happen to me, right? A critical miss? My high luck makes me less likely to critically miss. Actually if I remember correctly, it makes enemies less likely to critically hit but more likely to critically miss. Hmmm. The rule is important and must be followed.

So, I wait patiently for my turn, watching some amazing shots, some terrible shots, one that hit a bird nesting ten feet above the target. I guess it was whistling a little loud.

…if I did that, would it give me EXP?

Eventually, it came around to my turn. I took hold of the Kunai. My ranged weapons was only 17. Only one thing for it.

LEROOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!

I missed 1, 2, hit the target with the third, missed again with the forth and with the fifth…the fifth buried itself in the bullseye, becoming completely invisible.

The all clear was given and I went to retrieve my Kunai. Well, numbers one through four were easy enough, but as I dug into the straw of the target, I took hold of the handle and pulled. It wouldn't budge.

Strength Check Failed: 5/7.

Oh boy. "Uhhh…can I get some help?"

Mizuki was by my side in an instant. Kind of creepy, actually. "What'd you do?"

"Somehow my Kunai got stuck Mizuki-sensei," I explained, still pulling futilely.

He scoffed. "Seriously? Here, watch me."

He took hold of the handle. "You just have to put your back into it-hng!"

He pulled with everything he had, but the kunai refused to budge. Mizuki looked at it with frustrated confusion. "Kid, how hard did you throw this thing?"

"About as hard as the others," I said, rubbing the back of my head.

Mizuki's string of cusswords under his breath as he tried to dislodge the kunai became increasingly comical as he strained. Eventually, he did get it out, and pulled a large chunk of wood which was stuck on the bent end of the Kunai.

"Whatever, we have spares," He said, pocketing the kunai. "Try not to do that again."

"I'll do my best, Sensei," I said, rubbing the back of my head again with an uneasy chuckle.

With that, I stuck to the back of the group of students as it was now time to head to another class.

Cha-ching!

Only 60 EXP? Not even a bonus from my high INT? Oh whatever. Now I just need 640 To level. Whatever. The lines were back up, with Mizuki facing us. "Now that we've had a chance to see how each of you handle Taijutsu and Bukijutsu-"

Wait, what? Oh, right. Weapons.

"We'll take a break for lunch. The little park outside is open, feel free to sit under the shade, play on the swings, whatever," Mizuki gestured. "We'll be back to class in an hour so make sure you eat fast and get your energy out. More than you already have, that is."

Welp, I had my backpack, so off I went!

I separated from the main group, walking around the wall and out of sight from the main compound. I…had a fabulous idea.

I dug out my black book. The thing never seemed to leave my possession for long. I flipped over the inventory screen and…yup! There it was. In my inventory, was my lunch of rice balls, sauce and delicious sushi. I always loved sushi.

So in Fallout 3, you ate food and stuff through the inventory screen. I wonder if I can do the same thing here with the book. So…I tapped the food item to select it…then I tapped it again and it disappeared from my inventory and I was graced with rice-ball taste on my tongue.

Wow. Huh. Well, let's go for the packets of soy sauce…huh. Okay, that was way too strong. Didn't mix well at all way. Okay, I tap a sushi roll and it's delicious. I almost tap a wasabi packet, but decide I'm not crazy. So, I simply dig out the remaining sushi roll and enjoy it like a normal person.

Due to eating literally half of my lunch via assimilation, I was done fairly early.

With that, I stood up and looked at the concrete wall.

There was another experiment I wanted to try. So, tree-walking. Apparently, you needed to utilize your chakra to stick to the surface of a wall. Too little, you fall off. Too much, and you break the tree. Though in the case of concrete walls, I might just go flying off. Although…breaking stuff like that might have been the basis for Tsunade's megaton punch jutsu.

I know that's not what it's called but for the life of me, I can't remember what it was. Anyway, back to tree-walking.

I want to try it. So, I lift up my foot, channel chakra to my foot and try to stick. Anchor.

Cha-ching!

Chakra Control Check Passed: 42/25.

10 EXP? Seriously?

Alright, whatever. My foot is stuck to the wall in glorious fashion! Excellent! Now for the other foot.

With more than a little bit of trepidation, I pull my other foot off the ground, keeping the other foot stuck to the wall. With some focus, I channel some chakra to the other foot as well and…

Cha-ching!

Chakra Control Check Passed: 42/40.

25 EXP. Okay. 605 to go.

Cha-ching!

What'd I do that time?

Perk Unlocked: Tree Walker

Using your chakra, you can walk up and down walls with ease!

150 EXP! NOW WE'RE TALKING!

Wait, how's my Chakra?

The little bar underneath my magically refilled health bar, wasn't budging. Huh. I guess it's because I'm not using it up or getting rid of it? I guess? Whatever, it's awesome. I get to act like Spider-Man and I got the biggest EXP boost I've seen in ever! See, this is cool.

How much do I need to level again? 455. Okay.

Maybe I should try walking on water next? Eh, there's nothing nearby. Darn. Oh well, this is great. Rasengan? Nah. I can see that having an arbitrarily high skill check simply because of what it is.