Shinobi:The RPG

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I slid down a clothes line with perfect balance, a big, stupid grin growing on my face and refused to leave. Up a wall, over the roof and down another line, this time upside down, careful not to whoop and holler as I did so because people were undoubtedly sleeping.

This was awesome. Pure, adrenaline-filled awesome and I hopped, skipped and jumped across the city, enjoying the views, the way the moonlight above played with the shadows on the buildings beneath. I was always a sucker for this kind of view and it was breathtaking tonight.

I ran up the legs of a water tower and summersaulted, landing on the top, and looked over Konoha. The Academy in the distance, with Mt. Rushm-I mean, Hokage Rock (totally not a rip off, I swear!) behind it. It looked utterly majestic, theoretical plagiarism notwithstanding. I took a deep exhale, breathing in that fresh night air.

Oh wow. I should've done this much sooner.

I took a seat on the metal top of the tower and just took in the view.

Shame the mission office is closed. I could get a million things done while everyone else was still sleeping. Speaking of getting things done…

Let's see if I can crack Iruka's sensor jutsu. Some form of echolocation, likely derived from his name, which means Dolphin if I'm right. So, logically, I that would mean bunching up a ball of chakra like so…and then releasing it in a pulse and getting sensory data from the echoes. Of course, I could not be able to understand what the jutsu is telling me. Or even worse, the chakra might not bounce back at all or worst of all, it could wake up every shinobi within a mile radius and they'd be pissed.

Of course, they might not be able sense the chakra and it wouldn't do anything to anyone other than the most powerful shinobi…that doesn't help. Okay. So, echolocation jutsu later. Let's try the megaton punch.

…in a minute because this breeze feels good.

Okay, relaxation over.

I hopped down from the water tower, holding back a laugh as I took the distance easily, and ran down the side of the building. Now, where's something I can pound to dust that no-one will miss…?

As I ran out of the alleyway, I looked for something like a brick or a rock with a giddy smile on my face. Because exploding things was always fun. Exploding things with my fist was almost assuredly double the fun, right? Right.

Eventually, I found an alleyway that indeed had a cinderblock just lying around. So I set it up on a garbage can and…I faltered for just a second.

I had the right numbers for this jutsu, right? I think? 70 for Chakra Control, 70 for Taijutsu? Yeah. I have those. Better double check, don't want to break my hand again because that freaking hurt. I grabbed my black book and…yup. I had both of those. More than those, actually.

Okay.

Hoo.

Alright, here we go.

I cock my fist back, channel chakra into it and throw the punch-please don't hurt me-!

It shattered in a reasonably bang, which caused various dogs around to start barking uncontrollably.

Chakra Control Check Success: 100/70.

Taijutsu Check Success: 80/70.

Perk Unlocked: Tsunade Special

Use your chakra to empower your Taijutsu with explosive punch!

+500 EXP.

"Cha-ching," I muttered in synch with a grin. Now to get out of here before I get arrested for disturbing the peace or something.

1,890 EXP till level 7! Then I master Taijutsu and then start mastering another skill, probably Ninjutsu. Geeze, at this rate I'll be ready when my first C-Rank goes down the hole. I mean, it'll still suck, I'm not completely delusional, but I'll be actually prepared when that happens.

---

The next day, Kakashi had us all training with throwing our shuriken and kunai.

This, of course, would be the thing that makes me nervous because my aim, regrettably, still completely sucks. I bounced on my feet and was fingering the kunai in the holster on my waist.

Mostly, I was dreading Kakashi-sensei getting upset when my aim didn't get better through practice. Because that was the downside of my gaming the system; amazing Chakra Control and Punching skills, but by aim with thrown weapons, a staple of shinobi combat, sucks.

Best part is that we were practicing on different stumps with no way to get in each other's way, so we could just go collect our shuriken and kunai when we ran out. So I took my time, trying to land each shuriken, focusing intently on the target and nothing but the target and…I managed to get every shuriken to actually hit the stump! Without a critical hit ensuring a bullseye!

It's kind of like what happens when you aim down the sights of a gun. Progress!

Then I went, collected my kunai and began again. Same result, but at least this time I didn't have to trudge into the unknown forest behind my target to collect my ammo.

"You know," Kakashi sensei appeared behind me, causing me to almost jump out of my skin. "If a Shinobi were standing still long enough for you to hit them, your teammates would have killed them already."

"Ah, Sensei!" I said, trying to calm down. "You startled me."

"I do that from time to time," Kakashi eye-smiled. "Now, why are you taking so long to throw your kunai?"

"I have zero skill with ranged weaponry," I said honestly.

"Hmm? You seem perfectly capable of holding and throwing your kunai just fine," Kakashi mused, looking at the hand currently gripping a kunai.

"That's very funny, Sensei," I replied deadpan. "I mean that my aim with them is terrible and that like this, I can actually hit the post and not send shuriken and kunai off into the forest."

"I know, I'm not an idiot," Kakashi replied with equal deadpan. "How did you pass the Academy test like that?"

"Pure luck."

"I see," Kakashi's eye went half lidded. "Well, that means you and Nichiren can be study buddies while you both work to improve your aim."

My eye twitched. "Hai, Sensei."

"What's wrong?" Kakashi's eye frowned.

"I've just never had talent with thrown weapons," I replied with a sigh. "Practicing's never helped."

"Well that's no reason to stop trying now," Kakashi replied with an irritating eye-smile.

"But Kakashi-sensei," I pressed on. "Wouldn't it make more sense to focus on honing my strengths rather than waste time bringing up a skill that I'm pretty sure I'll never use?"

"Under most circumstances, you'd be right," Kakashi nodded. "However, this is shuriken. One of the fundamental principles of Shinobi combat. This is something you'll never stop using, no matter how many jutsu you pick up, simply because of how valuable a non-chakra option is at range."

I deflated. I didn't need a check to tell me I failed a speech challenge. "Hai, Sensei."

"Cheer up," Kakashi said. "Someone as smart as you, you'll get it in no-time. You can help Nichiren in the meantime."

---

"Excuse me, Umino-sensei?" I said with a bow. I had approached the mission desk after training with a specific quest – because Naruto's address was classified for some freaking reason.

"Oh, you're Shimoda Daisuke, right?" Iruka answered with recognition. "One of Kakashi's students? What can I help you with?"

"Well see," I replied. "I'm actually friends with Uzumaki Naruto and I haven't see him in over a week. I was wondering if you knew where I could find him."

"Oh? And what makes you thing I'd know?" He asked with a frown.

"I heard he was in your class, Umino-sensei," I answered with a frown. "If that's not true, I apologize for bothering you."

"No, he is," Iruka held up a hand. "He has mentioned you a few times, but I had to be sure you were the Daisuke he was talking about."

"Yup," I smiled. "That's me!"

"Well, I do know where he is," Iruka replied. "He was pretty depressed about not graduating this year."

"I don't blame him, I hated the academy," I said, then froze, catching Iruka's frankly dangerous look. "N-no offense, Umino-sensei. I'm sure you make up for it by sheer presence alone."

"That's alright," Iruka said, his eyebrow twitching and letting me know he was not alright. "I was actually about to go see Naruto this evening. Maybe we should go together?"

"Yes, absolutely!" I loudly agreed. "Maybe we should bring food or something. Is there a place he likes?"

"Actually yes!" Iruka said with a too big grin. "There's a restaurant he likes. Have you ever been to Ichiraku Ramen?"

"No," I answered, secretly glad that was still a universal constant. "Do they do take out? I'm buying!"

"That sounds like a great idea," Iruka nodded. "I'll meet you at the Academy gates at six, sound good?"

"See you at six, Umino-sensei," I said, high-tailing out of there as fast as politeness allowed.

Geeze, open mouth, insert foot. Way to make a good first impression, for crying out loud! Stupid 1, well, 4, Charisma. This sucks.

Well, Iruka said to meet him at 6 and although this isn't a quest for some freaking reason, this is important enough that I'm willing to let that slide. So, I take a seat outside the walls. It was 2:31pm, and I can only wait in 1-hour increments, so I wait for three hours.

5:31 rolls around and I wasn't disturbed for some reason. I stood up and checked my wallet. I had my 500 Ryo which I was willing to spend on Naruto's absurd dietary requirements and hopefully enough for Umino and I to have a bowl or two ourselves.

Hopefully.

After thirty minutes of alternating between checking my pip-book, messing with Chakra strings and getting bored, Iruka walked out the gates.

"Umino-sensei," I greeted, bowing to him.

"Shimoda," Iruka nodded in turn. "You don't need to be so formal."

"Sorry," I replied. "So, lead the way?"

"How much do you have on you?" Iruka asked.

"500 Ryo," I replied.

"That should be enough for about five bowls," Iruka nodded. "You do know that's not going to be enough for Naruto, right?"

"I was hoping this would get me something closer to 10," I mumbled, kicking the ground. "Like I said, I've never been there."

"Well, I appreciate you trying," Iruka answered, nodding. "Let's go, I'll pick up the other five."

I followed him down the street, around a couple bends and came to the bannered seats of Ichiraku Ramen, both famous and beloved in my old world for being one of the few to serve Naruto with neither malice or cheating him.

Frankly, I consider treating Naruto to ramen from here as a Pilgrimage and Rite of Passage for any Naruto fan to be done at least once a year. The only reason I wouldn't put it as more often is because it would be expensive as heck.

We entered the restaurant and…well what do you know! There was Naruto, sitting at the counter, eating a bowl. Ichiraku-san, who didn't look as big as I thought he would in real life, was standing behind the counter stirring a ramen pot and…Ayame? I think that's her name. Slender, hair color was a nice shade of brown, really nice face…she's pretty. She was also writing down Naruto's order.

"Well, that's saves time," I said, nodding to myself.

"Iruka-sensei! Daisuke!" Naruto's face lit up like a Christmas tree he was so happy to see me. Or see Iruka. Actually, it might have been Iruka. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I haven't seen you in a week, so I wanted to find you," I said with a smile of my own. "See how you were doing; you know?"

"So he came to find me since he knew you were in my class," Iruka continued my story. "He had the idea to treat you to ramen, so I took him here and you apparently had the same idea. Imagine that."

"You're going to treat me to ramen?" Naruto asked with a sparkle in his eye.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Cool! Daisuke, this is Ichiraku Teuchi-san and his daughter, Ichiraku Ayame-chan," Naruto introduced us to the two in turn and we exchanged polite bows. "They make the best ramen in the whole world!"

"Well, I guess I better have some, right?" I answered, taking a seat. "Just take it easy, alright? I didn't bring a lot."

"You got it!" Naruto replied happily. He gestured toward the menu. "I've already ordered, so…"

"Uhh…" I got lost in all the choices on the board. "I guess I'll take a Miso Ramen."

"That's my favorite!" Naruto chirped happily.

"And I'll have the Tonkatsu," Iruka ordered, sitting on Naruto's opposite side.

So, that was our evening. Sitting, eating, talking. The Ramen was delicious, not even close to the instant ramen I was used too, loaded with real meat, hard-boiled eggs, amazing noodles and…yeah, Naruto wasn't exaggerating. This stuff was the best. Apparently the stand's been up for around twenty-two years, and Ayame's been working since she was my age. 12, that is to say. Not my over-twenty age from my previous life. So she was, what, 18? 19?

…suddenly, my situation just became a lot more frustrating. Whatever, focus on the now.

"So, how's the Academy, Naruto?" I asked, in an attempt to appease Iruka by showing support for scholarly pursuits.

"It's boring," Naruto half-whined. "That's why I'm trying to get out early."

Oh, I could feel Iruka's cold glare on my pitiful, mortal form. "Ah, it can't be that bad. You learn a lot from all the instructors there."

"But all they teach is useless, boring stuff," Naruto continued. "I still can't even do the Bunshin."

"…have you asked for help?" Oh no…

"I tried, but they just go into how I'm terrible with Chakra Control," Naruto sighed. "I get the feeling they don't really want to help me."

You know, I had really hoped that the 'teachers at the academy sabotaging Naruto' thing was only fanon. I really, really did. Because I liked some of them. Sure, they couldn't help me in the slightest, but they were still cool to be around. But…well, there were a lot of teachers around. So maybe it wasn't one of mine? I hope?

"I'm sorry, man," I replied with a sad frown.

"So what is it that you don't get?" Iruka asked, not unkindly.

"I just don't know what they mean by 'Chakra Control' to begin with," Naruto grumbled before bringing a noodle-full of ramen to his mouth.

Did Naruto not even know or understand how Chakra Control applies to him? That can either be the fault of his terrible attention span or the fault of the teachers. It was probably something in the middle. But…ugghhh, that would explain his problems with the Bunshin. Though he did get the Henge and the Kawarimi as I understand it, both of which were Ninjutsu like the Bunshin.

"What do you do when you're trying the Bunshin?" Iruka asked with a frown.

Naruto swallowed his ramen and started to make hand seals. "Well, I make the seals like this, then I do the jutsu."

"No, I mean…how do you move the chakra when you 'do the jutsu'?" Iruka pressed.

I mean, the 'too much chakra' theory is debunked when you factor in that Naruto's main problem was with tree-walking: He kept slipping off, which was a sign of too little chakra, not too much, which meant…but he did the Kawarimi and Henge so he knew how to put his Chakra into a Jutsu so…maybe he didn't know too put chakra into his jutsu this time.

Maybe?

"I dunno, you just make the hand-seals and the clones pop out, right?" Naruto shrugged with a frown.

"That's…do you do that with the Henge or the Kawarimi?" Iruka asked incredulously.

Wait.

If Naruto figures it out now, Mizuki won't be able to, or be willing to, make Naruto his patsy in his scheme to steal the scroll for Orochimaru. If he doesn't do that, then Naruto doesn't learn his most effective technique: Kage Bunshin. A technique so awesome it shares two syllables with the word Hokage.

"No!" Naruto shook his head. "You have to shove your chakra out when you do those jutsu, don't you?"

"You have to do that with this one, too," Iruka replied incredulously before launching into a -barebones discussion of how moving chakra with the Bunshin was supposed to work.

What do I do? I don't have the charisma, or the speech skill to derail this conversation from removing Naruto's most valuable weapon from his arsenal in the future! That he might not have gotten it anyway because butterflies is not important right now!

And if I do derail it, Iruka won't forget that Naruto doesn't understand it correctly and just teach him later!

Wow, I did nuke Canon on accident, didn't I?

"So like this?" Naruto had stood up while I wasn't paying attention, made the seals and poof! There appeared one of his sickly looking Bunshin. Seriously, mine looked like a statue, that looked like a puddle of playdoh.

Oh, whew. Okay. Naruto's poor academic performance saves Canon. Alright.

Naruto groaned in frustration, kicking a chair and looking about ready to pull his hair out.

"Here let me help you," Iruka said, standing up. "Now, I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder and I want you to slowly go through the jutsu again, okay?"

"Okay Iruka-sensei," Naruto nodded.

Ayame and Teuchi were both watching in fascination as Naruto, slowly, went through the motions and Iruka, able to sense the chakra build up, started walking him through the jutsu.

Me? I was panicking. This…is really good in the short term but horrible in the long term. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't stop it. I was bouncing on my seat, trying to avoid simply jumping off of my chair and telling them to hold off until next graduation.

But it wouldn't work.

4 Charisma. 28 Speech. There was no way this check wasn't going to be at least in the 50's.

"Bunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto called out and…next to him was a perfectly healthy Bunshin.

I was about to faint.

"Congratulations, Naruto!" Ayame cheered with large smile. "That's amazing!"

"Way to go, Naruto!" Teuchi congratulated with a wide smile of his own.

"Thanks Ayame-neechan," Naruto smiled wide, looking giddier than I've ever seen him. "Teuchi-san."

"I knew you could do it Naruto," Iruka smiled warmly.

"Nice work Naruto," I offered half-heartedly. "That's amazing."

"Hey thanks I couldn't do it," Naruto looked at me funny. "Daisuke, are you okay? You don't look so well."

"I'm sorry," I said, looking away. "I just started feeling a little unwell. But seriously, congratulations, Naruto."

I slapped the bundle of Ryo from my wallet on the counter. "Here's your cash, keep the change. I got to go lie down."

I stood up and went to leave.

"Daisuke…" Naruto sounded concerned.

"Congratulations, Naruto," I said with the biggest smile I could muster. "I'm really happy for you. I know you'll make an excellent Hokage."

"Can you make it from here?" Iruka asked with concern.

"Yeah," I nodded. "It's actually not far from here. See you, everyone!"

With that, I took off. I ran up the side of the building and hopped all the way to the orphanage. I slid in my room and plopped on the bed.

What have I done?

---

I went to sleep and didn't wake up. Even when I technically did wake up. I looked at my watch and…huh, I have to be at training in an hour.

Can I be the late one, for once? Probably won't hear the end of it for a while. If ever, especially after all the crap I've given Kakashi behind his back. Euggghhh.

I sat up in my bed and looked around my little room in the Orphanage. As a Genin, I believed I was expected to move out soon. I was going to have to look into that soon, because, as the pitter-patter of little feet out in the hall proved, this was getting too crowded for me.