Saint, You Should Quit Smoking

My first meeting with that person wasn’t exactly a pleasant memory.
‘How many cigarettes do I have left?’
An empty classroom. The other two weren’t even attending. I was alone.
So I took out my cigarette pack without paying much attention to my surroundings.
There was only one cigarette left inside, and I was thinking I’d have to refill it later.
“Hello, I am—”
“Eeek?!”
I was startled.
I hadn’t expected someone to be behind me.
I let out an unladylike scream and turned my head to see an unfamiliar man.
Blonde hair and blue eyes. A face sculpted like a statue.
‘He’s handsome…’
I thought for a moment, but.
That wasn’t the important thing. The problem was that my being a smoker had been discovered.
The rest was actually embarrassing to recall.
I tried to get past the crisis with a foolish smile. I was so flustered that I even asked him for a solution.
But he didn’t seem particularly concerned.
His eyes narrowed as if troubled, and he seemed to sigh lightly, but.
Still. He didn’t report my actions to others or try to correct me.
‘How strange.’
Doesn’t he find it extremely odd that a Saint smokes?
I was always anxious about being caught by others.
‘Because it’s a bad thing.’
There was no special reason why I decided to smoke.
I just felt stifled. Like I was expected to be a good person, doing good things all my life.
-When I become an adult, I want to try smoking.
That’s why I asked the Pope.
I wanted to do at least one bad thing. When I thought about the worst thing a Saint could do, smoking seemed appropriate.
At my request, the Pope smiled gently.
He didn’t scold me or show disappointment.
He just quietly said.
-Go ahead.
He accepted my words.
He didn’t say much, but I felt embarrassed because it seemed like he understood completely why I did it.
For no reason, I asked him why.
-…Is it okay? I might keep smoking in the future. Once you give me permission, I don’t plan to quit…
-I’m not worried about that.
At that time, I didn’t understand the Pope’s words.
-You’ll naturally want to quit when you meet someone who makes you want to quit smoking.

My reason for staying with that person was solely to keep watch over him.
I was worried he might spread the fact that the Saint smokes.
I even deliberately smoked in front of him. Partly because I wanted to smoke, but also to see how he would react.
However.
“…”
He remained calm.
He teased me and looked at my smoking as if it was absurd, but.
There wasn’t any particular reaction beyond that, so.
‘What a strange person.’
Yes, he was a strange person.
But a small ripple occurred in my heart. I wanted to know more about this man and what he was doing.
In front of my room, I acted playfully. I didn’t have any romantic interest in him, but I tried making a joke for no reason.
“No, I don’t feel anything in particular.”
‘How boring.’
How can someone be so wooden?
It’s embarrassing to say with my own mouth, but I pride myself on being fairly pretty.
Plus, it was an opportunity to enter a Saint’s room. He’s too indifferent, even for someone indifferent.
After entering the room, I was quite embarrassed.
“Is smoking your only hobby?”
That hit the mark.
I rambled incoherently at those words that jabbed right at the part I was hiding.
It was quite disrespectful behavior toward a member of the imperial family, so I was really worried when I realized it.
‘What if he’s upset and reveals my secret?’
But once again, he defied my expectations.
“I apologize. I didn’t mean to upset you. Please forgive my rudeness.”
There is not a hint of hesitation in his bowing posture.
He truly felt sorry toward me.
That was, well, how should I put it. Shocking.
After sending him away that day.
When I was alone in my room, I couldn’t think of anything but him.

“Of course! The Prince I’ve been watching isn’t that kind of person!”
Maybe that’s why.
When I heard the bad rumors about him.
My first thought was disbelief.
‘That can’t be.’
He didn’t look like a villain at all.
As we conversed, I kept teasing him.
Is this okay? Can you accept a Saint who’s so unlike a Saint? Almost like I was testing him.
Yet, he continued to accompany me until the end.
This woman is really hopeless. Even with such emotions in his eyes.
Without complaining. He didn’t leave my side.
‘What a strange person.’
Truly strange, and also quite boring.
But why did being with him feel so enjoyable?

“Want to smoke one?”
For some reason, that day I noticed he seemed troubled.
Since I usually thought of him as a rather emotionless person, I was the first to probe his thoughts.
“What’s there to eat when all they serve are tasteless bread pieces and vegetable soup!”
When I lightened the mood with a joke, he honestly shared his concerns.
After hearing his worries, I was a bit surprised.
‘Could he be talking about me?’
It was clearly his concern, but when I heard him talk about having his secret discovered, I thought he was referring to me.
Naturally, I also started thinking seriously about it. What should be done?
‘Ah.’
Somehow, an idea suddenly popped into my mind.
“Just make that person keep the secret themselves! Become friends with them!”
That was a way to solve his problem, but.
‘It’s the opposite.’
It was also how I should treat him.
His expression was quite satisfied. I felt proud too, like I had accomplished something.
“I see you in a new light, Saint. I had my suspicions, but you truly are a Saint.”
If only he hadn’t said that last part.
Really, what a boring person.

“Your Highness, you don’t have any friends, do you?”
At his request, we traveled to a distant place.
A major incident occurred on the way. A girl named Sophie was threatened by a magical beast, and he stepped forward to protect her.
Afterward, on the way to the village.
As I learned about Sophie, my heart ached.
“But, I was so tired of it!”
A life that repeats every day. Days where I always had to endure.
I was so tired of it that I ended up deviating.
‘How embarrassing.’
It felt like she was talking about me.
It was unavoidable that I was at a loss for words. The one who spoke for me in my confused state was him.
He looked really reliable, soothing Sophie’s heart with a gentle tone.
‘He’s a bit cool…’
No, not just a bit, maybe a lot.
When that thought crossed my mind, I was startled.
‘Am I crazy…!’
How could I have such thoughts?!
“How upset must the sister beside you feel!”
That’s why I reacted so sensitively to Sophie’s words.
Fearing my feelings would be discovered, I strongly denied it. I couldn’t bear not to deny it, afraid these feelings might become real.
But. He made a request of me.
For the sake of Sophie’s feelings.
‘…What a strange person.’
Even if it means doing something embarrassing like this. Does he want to make that child comfortable?
“Don’t misunderstand. I have absolutely, not the slightest desire to act as your lover, Saint.”
…Honestly, after hearing those words, I felt a little. No! Quite upset.
‘Hmph.’
You didn’t have to go that far. What, am I not even a woman to you?
In the end, I had to pretend to be his girlfriend.
At first, it was really embarrassing. I had never thought I would become someone’s lover in my life.
But.
‘…This isn’t bad.’
To be honest, it wasn’t just fine, it felt good.
It almost felt like I was doing the worst thing a Saint shouldn’t do, and it made me excited.
‘W-was I always this kind of woman…?!’
What is this pleasure that comes from doing something bad?
I felt oddly embarrassed by myself.

Night sky.
The conversation with Sophie dropped a large stone into the lake of my heart.
So I ended up consulting with him without realizing it.
“Is it because of Sophie?”
He pinpointed the core issue as if he knew without me saying.
‘This person, he understands my heart completely.’
Is he always watching me?
My loosened lips revealed the Saint’s secret.
‘Bad thing.’
The story of a bad Saint who fell into the act of deviation.
After pouring out all the emotions inside me.
I realized I had done something embarrassing in the middle of the night, so I tried to end the conversation and go to sleep.
No.
‘I’m afraid.’
Actually, I didn’t want to hear what he truly thought of me.
So I tried to stop the conversation there, but.
“Don’t blame yourself.”
Once again.
As if seeing through my heart.
He said exactly what I wanted to hear.
Warm words caressing my heart. Gently stroking the self-loathing I felt for being unlike a Saint.
“Let’s keep it a secret. Just between you and me.”
A warm smile.
It felt so good that.
“Being your girlfriend might not be so bad after all.”
I was so happy that I didn’t care whether the words I uttered were sincere or not.

We conversed as we headed toward the sealing stone.
My heart was greatly inflamed by what had happened the night before.
‘This is strange… what is this?’
Why does my heart race so much when I look at him?
‘No…’
Actually, I knew. I had received education at the Order. I had secretly read novels about love too.
‘I can’t do this.’
A Saint shouldn’t dare harbor such feelings.
I shouldn’t nurture these emotions any further.
“The type of man I like is someone attentive.”
Therefore, the words that came out of my mouth.
Firmly suppressed my feelings for him, emphasizing a male figure with completely opposite characteristics.
‘It’s the truth anyway.’
Compared to the prince I had always dreamed of, he was different in many ways.
Boring. Wooden.
“Hehe. Saint, you don’t know yet. The person who best fits the description of the man you just mentioned is none other than the Third Prince.”
So.
When I heard the knight tell stories about him from the past.
“…W-what did I say? A man who stays by a woman’s side when she’s struggling… who listens to her worries… who doesn’t spread rumors carelessly… …hup!”
I had to quickly cover my mouth for fear of revealing the emotions in my heart.
‘No, no…’
This shouldn’t happen.
I shouldn’t dare have these feelings.
But.
‘It’s too late…’
I had already realized it. There was no turning back now.
The love that had grown was steadily strengthening its stem.

The demon I encountered while adjusting the seal was powerful.
The demon turned its snake-like eyes on me, trying to seduce me.
It seemed to know the darkness in my heart.
I cut off the temptation with a strong will, but.
It was still a heavy burden.
The demon attacked me from another direction.
-Oh, is that so? You, wench, you have a man in your heart, don’t you?
‘No…!’
That mustn’t be discovered. I wanted him to remain unaware of my feelings until the end.
Only then could I suppress this love.
To have my innermost thoughts revealed in such a forceful way.
After fainting from exhaustion.
Due to the two shocks whispered to me by the demon.
I ended up leaning on him again. Like an ordinary girl. I became weak.
“But… sometimes it’s so heavy that I can’t bear it. I want to escape from my life.”
My mouth spilled my true feelings.
It was something I had never revealed to anyone. It was a truth I had kept tightly hidden, fearing I would be seen as unfit to be a Saint if I shared it with others.
He quietly listened to my words and.
This time too.
Truly, this time as well.
“You have every right to be proud of yourself.”
As if he knew my heart completely.
He said exactly what I most wanted to hear.
That’s when I realized.
‘Ah.’
I can’t stop, I thought.
My feelings toward him.
This burning emotion.
It was impossible to ignore. Even the Sun God couldn’t make me ignore it.
My body naturally leaned toward him.
“Your Highness… how do you think of me?”
What kind of face I had then. I couldn’t see myself, but.
However, my face, as seen through his ocean-like eyes, was.
That of a girl who had fallen in love. Pure and simple.

Unfortunately, I never got to hear his answer.
At the news of an attack, we hurriedly went outside.
There was a man called the Knight Hunter.
“If the Saint grants my request, you may behead me here.”
The Knight Hunter suddenly implored me.
And then he showed me his mind-scape.
The memories captured in my vision were too horrific. They were so painful, it was hard to believe someone could live like that.
And.
“I couldn’t remember what I liked. Not even a single hobby. No matter how much I racked my brain through the night, nothing came to mind. That’s when I realized.”
I remembered the conversation I had with him in my room.
-Do you perhaps have no hobby other than smoking?
There was nothing in my room. Since becoming a Saint, my life had only been about duty.
The things I like. The things I want to do.
I recalled the barren room that hadn’t retained any of these.
So, I wanted to grant his request. I wanted to accept his plea for healing, but.
‘It’s impossible.’
Such a miracle was beyond even a Saint’s capabilities.
In the end, I couldn’t stop the battle. The Knight Hunter tried to destroy the sealing stone as commanded by the Voice.
While the sword fight took place, I found myself leaning on him again.
“Am I… unworthy of being a Saint…?”
It hurt.
A person who had only been forced to do what was required.
My heart was so cold because I couldn’t save someone just like me.
But.
Now I knew.
“I will grant your wish.”
That he would understand my heart.
And though I don’t know what method he used.
The Knight Hunter’s mind-scape was restored. He had given him peace.
Due to his injuries, he lost consciousness and was moved to the infirmary.
I never left his side.
Continuously stroking his injured hand.
Waiting for him to wake up.

“How did you think of correcting his mind-scape?”
He explained the method to me in response to my question.
An imperial secret. Using the dragon’s blood, one can interfere with others’ mana and the world’s mana.
It was surprising information.
But it wasn’t particularly interesting to me.
“Why did you do it?”
When you might never be able to use your hand again.
Why, despite such a reckless act.
Did you give peace to the Knight Hunter?
“…Because I met a certain young woman.”
From his answer, I immediately understood.
Who that young woman was.
For whom he had taken such a risk.
Looking at his face as he said he wanted to help bear my burdens, with an awkward smile.
“…”
I lowered my head.
My face felt like it would burst. My cheeks were burning hot, flushed bright red.
No, more than that, my heart felt like it would explode. It was beating so fast that it hurt.
‘I see.’
So this is affection.
‘I.’
So this is love.
‘This person.’
So this is what it means to be in love.
‘I love him.’
When I raised my head again, I had made up my mind.
‘It’s your fault.’
For daring to awaken the emotion of love in a Saint.
‘If you made me open my eyes to such a bad feeling, it’s only natural that you take responsibility.’
Yes, I am a bad Saint.
The cigarette-smoking Saint. Truly, the world would be shocked if they knew.
‘So.’
Since I’ve come this far, I might as well become worse, right?
“You don’t have to answer.”
I don’t care if you don’t answer me.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
Even if you deny it, I won’t deny these feelings.
“I love you.”
Loran von Welert.
I, Saint Rinet Michaela, love you.