Re:Vangelion - Re: Life to a World of Mechs

Misato was furious. Her arms were crossed, and her rigid expression made it clear that she was not in the mood for jokes. We were in the NERV meeting room, but it looked more like a courtroom. While Shinji kept his head down, not saying a word, I tried to justify myself, even though I knew it would be useless.

"Do you have any idea what you did?!" Misato shouted, her voice echoing off the walls. "Subaru, you left the shelter in the middle of an emergency, faced an Angel, and even put two civilians in the middle of it! And you, Shinji, didn't follow my orders! Do you have any idea how irresponsible that was?!"

I took a deep breath, deciding to take the blame. "It was my fault, Misato. I should have stopped Kensuke and Toji from going after me. I knew it was dangerous, but I still let them follow me. If anyone deserves a lecture here, it's me."

Misato narrowed her eyes at me, her posture still tense. "Oh, great, you're taking the blame. But that doesn't change the fact that you two acted like complete idiots!"

Shinji, who had been silent until then, finally raised his head. "I just did what I was told... I got into the Eva and fought. Isn't that enough?"

Misato sighed, massaging her temples. "Shinji, it's not about piloting the Eva. It's about understanding the weight of your actions. It's not just you who suffers the consequences. Other people are at risk too."

Seeing Shinji's indifference, I tried to intervene. "Look, I know the situation got out of hand, but Shinji did the best he could. He faced the Angel, and he won!"

Misato pointed her finger at me, interrupting me. "And you? You came out of the shelter like you were some kind of hero. And why? What did you think you could do?"

I was silent for a moment, thinking about the question. The truth was, I myself didn't know what I expected to find. "I... I just felt like I needed to do something. I can't just sit around and wait for things to happen..."

Misato shook her head in frustration. "That's not an excuse, Subaru. You need to be more responsible, especially now that you're here."

We both fell silent, Misato taking a deep breath to calm herself. I lowered my head, feeling the weight of her words.

Shinji, on the other hand, just mumbled a barely audible "Okay," which clearly irritated Misato even more.

Misato stared at me, her expression clearly suspicious. She crossed her arms, leaning forward slightly, as if waiting for an explanation that made sense. "So, Subaru... How exactly did you know where to attack that Angel? And please don't give me vague answers."

I scratched the back of my neck, visibly uncomfortable. I tried to find the right words, but nothing seemed to fit together logically. "Well, it's just that... I smelled something strange. It was something really strong, and... somehow, it seemed like it was coming from that sphere beneath the Angel's body. I... I just followed my instincts and told Shinji to attack."

Misato raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "A smell? Seriously? Are you telling me that you were able to identify the weak point of a creature like that just by smelling it?"

I shrugged, trying to sound more confident than I felt. "I know it sounds weird, but that's exactly what happened. I don't know how to explain it properly. It was like that smell told me that there was something wrong with that specific part of the Angel."

She narrowed her eyes, clearly trying to decide whether or not to believe my explanation. "Subaru, you know what you're saying doesn't make sense, right? Angels shouldn't give off any specific smell that a human could perceive, much less something that indicates a weak point."

I sighed, raising my hands in a gesture of surrender. "Look, I'm not trying to hide anything, Misato. I don't understand what happened either. But something about that smell caught my attention, and I just... acted. I don't know if it was luck, instinct, or what."

Misato remained silent for a few seconds, studying me. There was something that didn't add up, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. But at the same time, she seemed sincere. "Okay, Subaru. I'll let it slide this time. But know that I'm watching you. If there's something you're not telling me, you better start telling me now."

I shook my head. "I swear I don't know anything more than that. I just want to help, Misato. I'm not here to cause trouble."

She sighed, uncrossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. "Okay. But if this happens again, I want you to let me know immediately, understand? Anything strange you notice, any detail. No matter how insignificant it seems."

"Understood." I replied, relieved that I had escaped any further questions.

As Misato walked away, I was left alone with my thoughts, pondering what had happened. Why had I smelled that scent?

A few days later...

A few days passed, and Shinji seemed very distant. I wondered if something had happened, but that's when I immediately remembered. Maybe he hadn't recovered from that battle with that angel yet.

Since that battle, Shinji hasn't even set foot in school. I thought he would come back soon, but his disappearance started to worry me a lot, that's when I thought about going to talk to him directly.

I knocked on the door a few times, but there was no answer. "Shinji! Hey bro, are you okay? You've been really distant lately, much more than usual..." That's when I opened the door to his room.

"Shinji... Huh?!" The room was empty, as if he had never been there. All of his things were gone.

I stood at the door, looking at Shinji's empty room. The space previously occupied by his few belongings now seemed even more desolate than ever. The futon was folded up, as if no one had slept in it. The absence of any sign of life made a weight fall on Subaru's chest.

"He... left...?" I muttered to myself, not believing what I was seeing. I entered the room, listening to the sounds of my footsteps echoing on the silent floor, and looked around, hoping to find some clue as to what had happened. There was only an overwhelming emptiness.

He took out his cell phone and immediately called Misato, who answered on the third ring.

"Subaru? What's wrong? You sound worried."

"Misato... Shinji. He's not here. All his things are gone, like he's... Gone."

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. When Misato finally spoke, her voice was strained. "Damn... I knew he was shaken, but I didn't think he would do this. It's okay. I'll see what I can find out. Maybe he left some records at NERV. In the meantime, stay calm. We'll find him."

I hung up and sat down on Shinji's empty futon, trying to process the situation. I remembered Misato's words from a few days ago, about how indifferent Shinji had seemed after the lecture. I wondered if I could have done something differently. Maybe I could have been more direct, asked how Shinji was really feeling.

Misato returned to the apartment an hour later, bearing bad news. "I checked with NERV. We still haven't figured out exactly where he went, but it looks like he's still in the city."

I frowned, my fists clenched in frustration. "Why didn't anyone do anything? He clearly wasn't well!"

Misato sighed, looking equally frustrated. "Yeah, Subaru…"

"So what do we do now? Are we going to go after him?" I asked.

Misato hesitated, then shook her head. "It's not that simple. NERV isn't going to divert resources to find a pilot who decided to run away, unless Gendo Ikari wants them to. If he doesn't come back on his own… Then they'll replace him."

"Replace him? Like he's an expendable part?" I almost screamed in disbelief.

I took a deep breath, trying to contain her anger. I knew Misato was sincere, but I also knew I couldn't just wait. "I'll go look for him too. He's my friend, Misato. I won't leave him alone."

Misato looked at me, a flash of respect in her eyes. "Subaru, it's late and it's raining heavily!"

I looked out the apartment window, watching the raindrops run down the glass. The rhythmic sound of the storm seemed to amplify the emptiness left by Shinji's absence. I wanted to go out, I wanted to do something, but I knew Misato was right. It was late, and the rain made any search dangerous and probably pointless.

"I understand how you feel, Subaru..." Misato said, leaning against the wall with a beer in her hand. "I want to go out and look for him too, but sometimes... sometimes it's better to wait. He needs some time, and you need to rest too. We'll have more clarity on the situation tomorrow."

I sighed, feeling the tension build up in my shoulders. "I know, Misato... But it's hard to sit still knowing he's out there, all alone. He's seemed so empty these past few days. I should have done more."

Misato gave a small, tired smile. "You like to put the world on your shoulders, don't you?... Don't worry about Shinji, at least he has something that many don't: people who care about him. And I mean you."

Misato's words made me think. I knew she was trying to comfort me, but I still felt a weight on my chest. I sat down on the couch, thoughts racing through my mind. I tried to remember some detail, some sign I might have missed in the past few days that would indicate where Shinji might have gone. But my mind was a mess.

Misato finished her drink and began to arrange some pillows on the couch. "You can sleep here tonight. It looks like you need a break too."

"Thank you ..." I said softly, almost without energy. I lay down on the couch, trying to straighten myself as the rain was still outside. Misato turned on the lights and went to the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

While the night advanced, and I stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep. I was thinking of Shinji, the fight against the angels, and the strange smell I felt during the last fight. I couldn't ward off the feeling that everything was connected in some way.

I closed my eyes, promising myself that as soon as the sun was born, I would do everything to my reach to find Shinji. But for now, the rain fell incessant, and I could only wait.

I was so worried that I didn't even realize that time passed as a lightning. And I, Subaru Natsuki, dawned against my will.

I got up from the couch with a tired face. Even without sleeping, I felt agitated, as if something was pulling me out of the apartment. I opened the window and looked at the horizon. The sun was born shyly through the scattered clouds of the storm of the night before. The golden rays illuminated the wet landscape, but what should be a calm scenario seemed unsettling to me. That's when I heard.

A strange sound. A sound that did not belong to that moment. It was tall, almost deafening, and it didn't look like anything I had heard before. It was something between a hysterical laugh and a scream, echoing through the silent city. I backed away from the window, my heart rapidly.

"But what ... was it?" I muttered to myself, trying to understand. The sound seemed to come from all directions, as if it were a reverberating echo between the buildings.

Quickly leaves the apartment, ignoring Misato's warning to rest. I needed to find out what was going on, and even more, I needed to find Shinji. The rain had stopped, but the streets were still wet and reflected the first rays of sunshine. I walked with quick steps, guided by an instinct that I didn't even understand. The strange sound still echoed in my mind, even if it was now further. It was disturbing, almost like a mockery.

As I walked the deserted streets, I noticed an unusual silence around me. There were no birds singing, nor the usual noise of the city waking up. It was as if the whole world is holding its breath. The smell of the rain still hovered in the air, but there was something else. A smell I instantly recognized: the same strange smell I felt during the fight with the angel.

"It can't be ..." I whispered stopping walking. I looked around, but I saw nothing unusual. Even so, the smell seemed stronger with each step. It was as if I was being guided, pulled by an invisible force.

After a few minutes, I reached a more open area, where I could clearly see the horizon. And that's when I saw it. In the middle of the city, there was something I couldn't explain. Something occupied my vision, my mind. He blinked, expanding and shrinking, as if breathing.

The sound of the laugh came back, this time louder, as if coming straight from that point. I instinctively took a step back, feeling a wave of shiver through my whole body.

The strong smell was unbearable. It was a metallic and acidic smell that seemed to erode my nostrils. The laughs ceased, and silence dominated the environment again. I stood, looking at whatever was about to leave that anomaly. My heart beat like a drum, and he could only think of one thing: that can't be good.

"You're really lazy, aren't you?"

I looked around, seeking the origin of the voice, but there was no one there. Only me and that overwhelming presence that seemed to carry the weight of an abyss. The strange smell intensified, almost choking him.

"Who's there?!" I shouted breaking in the deafening silence.

The answer did not come from words, but from an image that appeared in my mind, like an intrusive and uncontrollable dream. A face. A face I had never seen before. The wide eyes, full of disturbing energy, stared at him as if they wanted to devour my soul. The wide and irregular smile was so disconcerting that it made my heart beat wildly.

"Why do you hesitate so much? It's not like you could change something ... You're very lazy ..." The voice continued, sounding almost mocking now, but with a tip of something I couldn't identify.

"I ... I don't know what you're talking about!" I shouted back, trying to push my face out of my mind. I started to retreat, but the presence seemed to be everywhere, getting involved like an invisible shadow.

"Of course you don't know. You never know, aren't you? Always running away, always hoping something or someone solves everything to you."

The words pierced me like blades.

"I'm not like that ..." I whispered to myself, but my voice kept laughing, echoing in my mind like a torturous melody.

It falls to your knees, breathing heavily. The face in my mind disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, but the presence was still there, like a persistent shadow. I looked into my hands shaking, feeling small in the face of something I could barely understand.

"Who ... or what ... is you?" He murmured, but silence was his only answer. The shrill sound and the strange smell seemed to dissipate slowly.

I felt that my mind was on the edge of the collapse. The weight of that invisible presence and corrosive words still echoed inside me, becoming difficult even to organize my thoughts.

It was then that a calm, soft voice broke the silence.

"Are you okay?"

I looked up slowly and, to my surprise, saw king stopped there, under a translucent blue umbrella. His expression was as neutral as he always, but there was something different in his eyes. Maybe a little point of worry I never imagined seeing in that girl.

"Ayanami?" Said confused and hesitant.

She tilted her head slightly, waiting for a lighter answer.

"I ..." I started talking but my voice failed. I got up breathing deeply, trying to regain the composure. "I'm fine ... I'm after Shinji. He ... he has disappeared. And I need to find him."

Rei looked at him in silence for a few seconds, as if analyzing every word he said. Her expression didn't change, but I could feel she was thinking, pondering something.

"Why are you looking for him?" King asked, his voice as smooth as the rain around them.

"Because he is my friend!" I answered immediately, without hesitation. "And because I feel he needs help now. I don't know exactly what's going on with him, but ... I can't just stay still."

Rei blinked slowly, her fixed gaze on me. For a moment, I thought she would refuse or just turn around and leave, but then she said, to my surprise:

"I will help you."

I widened my eyes, surprised by her direct answer.

"Are you going ... help?"

Rei nodded slightly. "Mr. Gendo will need him and if Shinji needs you, so it's my responsibility to make sure you find it."

Something in the way she said that seemed strange to me, as if her words carried a deeper meaning than they appeared. But I decided not to question.

"Thank you, Rei..." he said with a tired smile.

"Where will we start?" She asked, starting to walk beside me, without waiting for more explanations.

I looked around, trying to decide a way. I was still shaken by the experience of before, but with Rei by my side, I felt that I was not alone in this search.

"First, let's go to the train station. Maybe he tried to leave Tokyo-3." I suggested.

King nodded in silence, accompanying the streets as we walked, I looked at her a glance, intrigued by the fact that she offered herself to help him. Maybe king was more complex than I imagined.

But one thing was certain: I was grateful for not facing it alone.

As we walked through the wet streets of Tokyo-3, the silence between me and Rei seemed heavier than the rain that fell moments earlier. I was still surprised that she agreed to help me, I looked at Soslaio to the neutral expression girl beside me.

"Hey, Ayanami ..." I started trying to sound casual. "Are you sure everything is okay to accompany me? I don't want to disturb you ... "

Rei kept walking, with the same constant pace, without looking away from the way ahead. "I see no problem. Besides ... "She hesitated for a moment, and almost lost her breath of expectation. "I think it's a good idea to get to know you better."

I blinked surprised. "Know ... to me? Why?"

She turned her head slightly toward me, but her gaze was still impassive. "You're different."

"Different how?" I asked laughing nervously. I tried not to think too much about her straight. "I know I'm irresistible, but it's not so much ..."

"That's not why ... you talk a lot." Rei answered simply, it hit me like an arrow. "You express what you feel. Act without hesitation when you think you need it. "

I raised an eyebrow, not knowing if that was a compliment or a critique of me. "Well ... thanks, I think?" I covered the back of the neck, laughing. "But you are well ... unique, you know?"

Rei did not respond immediately, and realized that he might have touched a delicate point. But then she said, with the same calm as usual, "Do you think that?"

"Of course!" I answered with a more serious tone. "You have this ... tranquility, you know? It seems that nothing shakes you. But at the same time, I think you care more than lets you show it."

Rei looked at me for a few seconds, as if trying to decipher my words. "Why do you think so?"

I stopped for a moment, putting my hands in my pockets. "I don't know ... It's just a sensation. When you said you wanted to know me better, it seemed to me ... Gentle. As someone who cares, even if it doesn't show much. "

She looked away, her steps slowly decreasing. "I'm not used to thinking about these things ..." he admitted. "But you ... seems to notice details that others ignore."

I felt a small heat in your cheeks. "W-Well, I'm kind of observer, I think. But actually, it's because I find you interesting. "

Rei stopped this time, turning totally to him. "Interesting?" Her voice had a slight inflection of curiosity, something rare to hear.

"Yes." I answered staring at her directly. "You are different from anyone I have ever met. And, well ... I think this is very positive. "

For a brief moment, silence has taken over again. Rei seemed to be processing his words, as if she tried to decide how to react. Then she gave her head a little nod and started walking again.

"Thanks." She said almost imperceptibly.

I smiled feeling that somehow had broken a barrier between us. As we continued the walk, my belly started to snore.

I looked at the sky, where the sun was beginning to shine between the clouds. The sun was stronger than I expected, almost as if time was trying to compensate for the rain from the night before.

Rei and I had stopped in a small convenience store to buy something to eat. As I bit a voracity onigiri, I looked at King, who held hers delicately, eating gradually.

"Do you always eat that slowly?" I asked playing.

Rei looked at me, with the same calm as usual. "I'm used to eating alone."

I was silent for a moment, realizing the melancholy that phrase carried. "Well, now it's no longer, right," I said trying to sound positive. "After all, we are together in this."

Rei only lightly waved his head, but I could swear I saw a shadow of smile on her face.

When we finished eating, we both went to a small nearby square. And it was there, sitting on a bench under the shadow of a tree, and there we saw someone: Shinji. He was sitting, his arms resting on his knees and his gaze lost on the floor.

"Shinji!" I called running toward him. Rei followed in silence.

Shinji looked slowly, looking surprised to see us there. There was something in his expression that made me squeeze my chest, a mixture of tiredness, guilt and confusion.

"Hey, man ..." I started trying to look relaxed. "What is happening? Everyone is worried about you. "

Shinji looked away, as if he didn't want to face anyone. "I just ... I needed a time."

"A time of what?" I insisted sitting next to him. "If it's because of what happened to the toji or the angel, you know none of these things was your fault, right?"

Shinji shook his head slowly, his fingers squeezing his knees. "It's not just that ..." He murmured. "I ... I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't know what these people expect from me. All this ... doesn't look right. "

I frowned, trying to find the right words. "Yeah ... I think I understand you very well ... about how people expect me to be ..."

Rei who had remained in silence so far, step ahead. "Ikari ..." she said with her calm and firm voice. "You are necessary."

Shinji looked up at her, her expression softening slightly. "Necessary ... for whom?"

"For everyone." Rei answered, without hesitation. "To protect those who cannot protect themselves. For those who believe in you as a pilot. "

I looked at her, surprised by her words. I didn't expect King to be so straightforward, but I realized that somehow it seemed to have hit Shinji.

"You don't have to carry all this weight alone." I added putting a hand on Shinji's shoulder. "We are here. And let's find it a way together, man. "

Shinji looked at me and then to king, looking less tense. He took a deep breath, as if trying to absorb their words.

A few minutes later ...

As they walked down the street, the silence was heavy, almost oppressive. The sound of Shinji's footsteps echoed on the wet sidewalk, with me and Rei just behind, without changing a word. The brilliant sun seemed to contradict the emotional mood between them.

Shinji stopped suddenly and turned, his gaze loaded with frustration. "You don't understand, don't you?" He pointed to himself. "Everyone wants me to protect people, to fight, to risk my life. But who will protect me? Who really cares about me?"

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I had never thought about it before, not even to myself. All the pressure I had felt since arriving here, all the responsibilities that had appeared out of nowhere... it was easy to forget that behind all of this, there was a person trying to survive.

Rei, however, seemed impassive. She took a step forward, looking at Shinji directly. "You're wrong." she said, her voice calm. "There are people who care. Misato cares. Subaru does too. You're being selfish."

Shinji laughed, but it was a bitter laugh, almost desperate. "Selfish? You only do what you're told. You don't even understand what it means to 'care.'"

Rei didn't react to the accusation. She just stared at him, unblinking. "I may not understand. But I'm here trying to understand you... And I'm not going to leave you alone."

I finally started to speak. "Shinji, I know you're not alone in this. I don't know how to protect you, but I want to try. And I think Rei is saying that too." Shinji looked away, his expression softening a bit, but he still looked lost. He let out a heavy sigh and started walking again, saying nothing.

Rei and I followed him in silence, respecting his space. There was nothing more to say at that moment. Sometimes words weren't enough, and all they could do was be present.

As they walked together through the city still scarred by the recent battle, I glanced at Rei out of the corner of my eye. Even with her emotional distance, I could tell that her actions spoke louder than her words. And in a way, that inspired me. Maybe they didn't need to have all the answers right now. Maybe it was enough to just keep walking alongside Shinji, even if she didn't realize how much that meant.

The bus rocked gently as it made its way through the streets of Tokyo-3, moving further and further away from the city center and into more rural areas. Modern buildings gave way to fields and hills, sunlight shining through the dusty windows. Shinji sat by the window, staring out, while Rei and I sat on the seat next to him, respecting his silence.

I observed the surroundings, intrigued. I had not expected Tokyo-3 to have such a peaceful side. The contrast with the tension they lived in daily was almost surreal. I looked at Rei, who was motionless, staring straight ahead with her usual calm expression. I wanted to say something, but I was not sure what. Any attempt to break the silence seemed inadequate.

The soft sound of the engine and the rocking of the vehicle created an almost meditative atmosphere. However, I could not relax. I looked at Shinji, who still seemed lost in his own thoughts, his shoulders tense.

Shinji did not look away from the window. Rei turned her head slightly towards Shinji, but did not say anything. It seemed like she was trying to understand his motivations, but respected his silence.

The bus stopped at a stop in the middle of a road surrounded by trees. Shinji stood up, indicating that this was where he wanted to get off. Rei and I followed him without hesitation. The surrounding landscape was serene, with the sound of birds filling the silence.

As we walked along a dirt trail, Shinji finally stopped near a hill overlooking an open field. He sat down on the grass, pulling his knees to his chest, while Rei and I settled close together, but keeping a certain distance.

For a few minutes, no one spoke. The silence seemed more comfortable now, filled only with the soft sounds of nature around us. I looked out at the horizon, thinking how strange it was to be here, in such a quiet place, after everything that had happened.

Shinji looked out at the open field in front of him, as if searching for some answer on the horizon. Although the weight was still there, perhaps he was beginning to realize that he didn't have to carry it all alone.

The trail took us to a high point, where the dense vegetation dissipated, giving way to a wide and impressive view of the city of Tokyo-3 in the distance. The fog hung heavy, creating an almost ethereal veil over the landscape. The city looked tiny from here, its futuristic structures reduced to tiny, almost indistinct dots. It was as if they were in a different world, isolated from the chaos and responsibilities. The three of us stopped at the same time, as if something in the landscape invited them to pause. Shinji stood in front, his hands in his pockets, his gaze lost in the distance. Rei stood beside him, quiet as always, but there was something curious in her eyes as she surveyed the city. I stood a little behind, looking at the two of them, before turning my attention back to the view.

The wind blew softly, carrying the scent of forest and damp earth. The fog moved in delicate layers, revealing and hiding parts of the city in the distance. The silence was profound, almost reverent, as if the place itself demanded respect.

I broke the silence first, but my voice was low, almost a whisper. "It's strange to see the city like this… So small, so quiet. It seems like its problems don't even exist from here."

Shinji remained silent for a few seconds before answering, his voice sounding distant. "But they're still there. No matter how far we go."

I looked at him, crossing my arms. "Yeah… in the end, there's not much to run to."

Rei tilted her head slightly, still observing the city. "From afar, it looks… fragile," she said, her voice calm as the wind. "As if everything could fall apart at any moment."

I let out a sigh, lowering my head. "And maybe it will fall apart…"

Shinji looked at me for a moment, without saying anything. His eyes seemed to be searching for something, comfort, certainty, maybe just confirmation that he truly believed what he was saying. He looked away then, but there was something different in his posture. He seemed less tense.

Rei looked at me with an expression that was almost inquisitive. "You always try to give answers to others. Why?"

I blinked, surprised by the direct question. I scratched the back of my neck, a little embarrassed. "I don't know. I guess… I just don't like seeing people drowning in their own problems. I've seen it happen before, and… no, these people don't need to get out of that hole alone."

Rei nodded slightly, as if accepting the explanation without further questioning. Silence once again hung between us as we observed the landscape. The fog seemed thicker now, almost like a cloak that isolated them even more from the world.

After a while, Shinji spoke again, his voice firmer, but still full of uncertainty. "Yeah… I guess I needed that. But… thanks for coming after me."

I smiled, crossing my arms. "You didn't think we were going to leave you wandering around, did you? Besides, I'm not a big fan of giving up on people. So, get used to it."

Rei didn't say anything, but there was a lightness in his expression that hadn't been there before. We continued to look at the landscape for a few more minutes, each of us lost in our own thoughts, but sharing that moment of calm and connection.

I looked at Shinji with a mischievous smile as we got ready to leave. "When we get back, I'm going to help you beat up Toji. That guy deserves at least a lesson."

Shinji chuckled, a rare sound coming from him, although still somewhat restrained. "I don't know if I'm the kind of person who can do that..."

"That's what I'm here for, Shinji." I replied, patting him lightly on the shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll do the heavy lifting."

As we walked, the sun began to disappear on the horizon, painting the sky with orange and purple hues. We were starting to think about the way back when we heard a peculiar sound, something between low music and the hum of propellers. We followed the sound and, when we left the trail, we found Kensuke playing with his toy spaceship, near a makeshift tent. He seemed so immersed in his fun that he didn't even notice the three of us approaching.

"Kensuke?" I called, crossing my arms. "What are you doing here alone?"

Kensuke quickly looked up in surprise, but soon smiled. "Ah, Subaru! Shinji! And you too, Ayanami! I just came to camp for a while. I like to get away from it all once in a while."

Shinji looked around, worried. "Isn't it dangerous? What if... something happens?"

"Relax, Shinji!" Kensuke replied, swinging the toy spaceship in the air. "I've done it many times."

I sighed but couldn't help but smile. "You're really brave... or reckless. I haven't decided yet."

As night fell, our group decided to stay there for a while. Kensuke, always prepared, easily built a small fire. Sitting around the fire, we began to share the warmth while the sounds of the night forest filled the room.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you..." Kensuke began, as he roasted a piece of bread over the fire. "Did you know that Toji got scolded by his sister?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why?"

Kensuke laughed. "For what you did, of course! You saved her life. She was furious with Toji for fighting with Shinji and you before."

I looked at Shinji, trying not to laugh. "See, Shinji? The guy is already paying for his mistakes. Maybe we don't even need to give him that beating."

Shinji just shook his head, a small smile on his lips. "I think she already did a better job than I could."

Rei, who had remained silent most of the time, looked at the fire. "She seems very grateful... for you two."

"That's good to know..." I commented, relaxing a little more. I looked up at the sky, where the stars were starting to appear between the trees. "Who would have thought we would have such a peaceful night after all this."

Kensuke looked at Shinji, his expression admiring. "You're amazing, you know? I don't know how you manage to do all this. Piloting that giant robot, living with that hottie..."

Shinji looked away, uncomfortable with the compliment. "I just do what I'm told. I don't think it's that amazing."

"Oh, stop it!" Kensuke insisted, full of enthusiasm. "I'd give anything to be like you. Piloting an Eva must be amazing!"

I shook my head. "Trust me, Kensuke. It's not all that you imagine. In fact, it's more of a survival job than something... Cool, you see, right?"

"Maybe..." Kensuke admitted, but the sparkle in his eyes didn't fade.

The conversation continued as the night deepened, with the sound of the crackling fire and the occasional laughter breaking the silence of the forest. Even though troubles still loomed over us, that moment felt like a welcome respite, a brief moment of peace amidst the chaos. We ended up sleeping there.

Morning arrived with soft sunlight filtering through the mist between the trees. Our group woke up slowly, each feeling the weight of the previous night. Kensuke was the first to get up, adjusting his glasses and looking around with a satisfied smile. "Nothing like a night in the mountains, huh?"

Still wrapped in a makeshift blanket, I grumbled. "It would be better if the ground wasn't so hard. My back is killing me."

Shinji remained silent, staring at the sky as the morning light brightened. Rei, on the other hand, was already on her feet, organizing the few items we had brought.

Before we could organize ourselves to return, we heard sounds echoing through the area. Soon, NERV agents appeared, getting out of a sturdy vehicle. They looked serious, and quickly informed us that they had come for us. Kensuke, though reluctant, didn't protest.

The ride back was silent. I noticed that Shinji had become distant again, even more so than usual. He was staring out the window, lost in thought, as if he was struggling with something inside himself.

When we arrived at NERV, Misato was waiting for us with a firm expression. She immediately asked to speak with Shinji in private, leading him away from us. I stood in the hallway, watching as they disappeared behind a door.

I sat on a nearby bench, feeling a growing uneasiness. The conversation with Shinji from the night before echoed in my mind. "Who will protect me?" Shinji's words still haunted me. I knew that Shinji was carrying a lot of weight, more than anyone should have to bear. I began to wonder if Shinji really wanted to leave. It was understandable, of course. After everything he'd been through, who wouldn't think that?

"Will he really go?" I whispered to myself, looking at the ground. I clenched my fists, frustrated at my inability to help any further. "I hope he doesn't… Not yet."

Rei sat across the hall from me, silent as ever. Yet, I could feel her watching me. I looked up and met her calm gaze.

"Do you think he'll leave?" I asked, not really expecting an answer.

Rei stared at him for a moment before answering, her voice low and calm. "I don't know. Even if he leaves, I'm still a pilot, I'll have no problem filling in for him."

These words resonated with me. I sighed, leaning back in my seat. I didn't have all the answers, but I knew one thing: I would do whatever I could to support Shinji, even if that meant just being by his side.

A few hours later…

The afternoon was overcast, with a cold wind blowing through the streets of Tokyo-3. I felt the weight of indecision as I walked to Misato's apartment. I needed answers. Ever since our conversation that morning, something inside him had been telling him that Shinji was on the verge of making an irreversible decision. I hurried up the stairs, my footsteps echoing in the hallway to the door. "For some reason, I feel so tired."

When I arrived, I tried to contain my impatience, sitting on the floor next to the door, waiting for Misato to return. Maybe Shinji was still with her, maybe there was something I could do to stop his friend from leaving. I didn't know what to say or how to convince him, but I had to try.

After a few minutes of silence, the phone Misato had given me vibrated in my pocket. I answered it immediately, seeing that it was Misato.

"Misato-san?" I almost shouted, waiting for news.

"Subaru..." Misato's voice sounded tired and serious on the other end of the line, "Shinji... he's decided to leave. He's already getting ready to leave."

My stomach started to churn as if I'd been punched. "What? Is he really going? Where did he go?"

"He's still around…" Misato replied hesitantly. "But if you want to talk to him, you'd better hurry. He won't be around for long."

I hung up without answering, panic taking over. "He's going to leave without saying goodbye?!" I ran out of the building, my thoughts confused. "I understand him leaving, but Shinji can't just leave like that!"

When I reached the street, I saw two familiar figures approaching. Toji and Kensuke were walking towards me, clearly looking for something or someone.

"Subaru?" Kensuke called when he saw me, adjusting his glasses. "Have you seen Shinji?"

I stopped, still trying to catch my breath. "Are you guys looking for him too?"

Toji crossed his arms, with a serious expression. "Yeah, the idiot disappeared. He didn't even go to school again. Any idea where he is?"

I took a deep breath before speaking, trying to stay calm. "Shinji... he decided to leave."

The two of them were silent for a moment, surprised. Kensuke was the first to react, with a worried expression. "Leave? He can't be serious!"

"He is!..." He said with a firm voice, although his heart was in pieces. "And if we don't do anything, he'll leave anyway."

Toji clenched his fists, clearly frustrated. "This kid... And do you know where he might go?"

Kensuke thought for a moment, frowning. "I... I think I know where he might be."

I turned to him immediately. "Where?"

"There's a place where a lot of people usually leave the city..." Kensuke began, hesitantly. "Which is at the train station."

Without thinking twice, I started walking in the indicated direction, looking over my shoulder. "Then let's go. We don't have time to waste."

Toji and Kensuke exchanged a glance before following me.

A few minutes later...

The train station was pretty empty of people, but for me, Toji and Kensuke, we spotted Shinji. He was standing next to two NERV agents, with a blank expression, his gaze lost somewhere in the distance. A small suitcase was at his feet, and I felt a tightness in my chest as I realized that Shinji was indeed ready to leave.

"There he is..." Kensuke said, nodding.

I nodded and the three of us began to approach Shinji. Toji's steps were faster and more determined, while Kensuke seemed hesitant. I, however, was focused. We needed to do something, anything, to stop Shinji from going through with this decision.

"Shinji!" I called when we were close enough. The boy looked at us in surprise, but didn't say anything. "You think you're going to leave without saying goodbye to us?!"

The NERV agents watched the group approach, but didn't intervene. It was as if they knew that this moment wasn't theirs.

Toji stopped in front of Shinji, taking a deep breath before speaking. "I... I came here to apologize."

Shinji blinked, clearly surprised. "Apologies?"

"Yes," Toji continued, his voice firmer now. "For the punch. For the way I treated you. I was angry, and it wasn't fair to take it out on you."

I watched in silence, letting Toji express himself. Kensuke also seemed shocked, but he didn't say anything, just crossed his arms and waited.

Toji lowered his head, as if he was gathering the courage to say what came next. "My sister… She's only alive today because you and Subaru did what you did. And I was the idiot here. So… I want to settle the score. Punch me. It's the least I deserve."

Shinji's eyes widened, looking at Toji as if he had lost his mind. "What? I… I'm not going to do it!"

"Yes you will!" Toji insisted, lifting his face to look Shinji in the eye. "I deserve it. And you need to let out that anger you're holding inside."

There was a moment of awkward silence, with Shinji clearly uncomfortable and Toji insisting on his position. I reached out and put a hand on Shinji's shoulder.

"Toji is serious, Shinji…" I said with a slight smile. "And honestly? Maybe it would be good for you to release some of that frustration."

Shinji looked at me in disbelief, but something made him hesitate. "Okay…"

After a few more seconds of indecision, Shinji sighed, clenching his fists. "Here we go... But only because you asked."

Toji gave a satisfied smile and positioned himself. "Go on, hit it here."

Shinji was about to punch Toji hesitantly in the face, but he stopped him. "WAIT!" Kensuke started laughing, breaking the tense atmosphere. "You have to punch really hard!" Toji said.

"You can do better than that, Shinji!" Kensuke joked, but his tone was friendly.

Shinji ended up smiling a little, though he still looked nervous. He braced himself again and punched Toji hard in the face.

Shinji looked at me, and for a moment, the blank look gave way to something softer, almost like hope.

The sound of the train approaching brought everyone back to reality. The NERV agent stepped forward, but Shinji held up his hand, indicating that he wanted to wait. He looked at us, finally saying, "Thank you. I'll think about what you said."

Toji, Kensuke, and I smiled in relief that we had at least reached Shinji's heart at that critical moment.

The sound of tires against the wet asphalt announced Misato's arrival. A car stopped abruptly, and the door opened, revealing the relaxed figure of Misato Katsuragi. But what caught the most attention was PenPen, the snobbish penguin, peering through the rear window of the vehicle.

I blinked a few times, confused. "PenPen?!"

Misato laughed at the comment. "Of course! I thought he could help convince Shinji to come back."

The group was surprised, but I noticed that Misato didn't seem to be there just to solve the situation. She got out of the car, adjusted her coat, and looked directly at Shinji, who remained motionless next to his suitcase.

"Shinji..." Misato began, her tone serious but not authoritative. "Can we talk?"

Shinji hesitated, but eventually nodded, allowing Misato to approach. We fell silent, stepping back to make room for conversation. PenPen, however, walked nonchalantly over to Kensuke, who began to tease him.

Misato stopped in front of Shinji and crossed his arms. "I heard you're leaving."

He didn't respond, just lowered his head.

Misato sighed, but her gaze was gentle. "I understand. All of this must be unbearable for you. The pressure, the responsibilities… it's a lot for someone so young."

Shinji still didn't say anything, but she continued, her voice growing softer. "You know, Shinji… I've lost a lot of important people in my life. And do you know what hurts the most? Coming back to an empty house... That's why I saved PenPen."

Shinji's eyes finally looked up, confused. "PenPen?"

Misato smiled, pointing to the penguin, who was now being petted by Kensuke. "Yes. He was going to be used as an experiment. They were going to do horrible experiments on him. So I took him. Because I wanted to go home and have someone there, waiting for me. I wanted to feel like I wasn't alone."

There was a moment of silence, but I could see the effect of Misato's words. Shinji's eyes began to water, but he made no effort to wipe them away.

Misato stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on Shinji's shoulder. "I'm not saying it's going to be easy, Shinji. But… you don't have to face all this alone. You have friends. You have me. And somehow, we have PenPen too."

Shinji, in turn, sniffed discreetly, trying to hide his emotion. "I…"

Misato smiled and squeezed his shoulder lightly. "You don't have to decide now. Just know that whatever you decide, we'll be here."

PenPen let out a croak, as if in agreement, which drew a shy laugh from Shinji.

"Okay... I'll stay."

End of Chapter 4