LGHTNOVELBOOK Chapter 60
Clunk. Clatter.
The scenery outside the train changed in real-time. I stared blankly at the view, then slowly closed my eyes.
It felt like my head was ringing. My face seemed to be a bit hot.
The cause was likely not getting enough sleep. Right now, I was feeling extreme exhaustion. I hadn’t properly rested even on the weekend, so it was understandable.
No. While being tired was a problem, what was more problematic was…
“Suddenly, outside, I heard a cat meowing, saying ‘Meow…! Meow…!’”
“And then…?”
“So, I looked out the window. And then….”
Daniel was telling a scary story with an exceptionally serious expression. Vivian maintained a blank face, but Elin, Chloe, and Sofia were listening with very grave expressions.
“There was a woman with disheveled hair, with empty eyes under the window… Meow…! Meow…!”
“Ugh…!”
Chloe, listening to the story, trembled. Was that really scary?
I wasn’t sure. It was a scary story, but all I wanted was to sleep. With the room like this, it was hard to relieve my fatigue.
“I’ll step out for a moment. Sofia, please take care of the students for a bit.”
“Yes! Have a good trip!”
After being seen off by Sofia, I left the room. I stepped into the long corridor.
I thought I needed to smoke a cigarette.
“Hmm? Is that Professor Antorelli?”
Just as I was heading to the smoking room, someone called my name from behind. I turned my head slightly.
“Professor Armstrong.”
“Indeed, it is Professor Antorelli.”
A middle-aged man with a muscular physique, Sylvester Armstrong, approached me slowly, narrowing his eyes at the cigarette in my mouth.
“Professor Antorelli. Are you smoking?”
“Yes. I was just about to go to the smoking room.”
“Why do you smoke something that’s bad for your health?”
I bitterly smiled and nodded. He was right. I used to think that way, too.
Professor Armstrong, though showing a look of disapproval, willingly accompanied me to the smoking room.
I hadn’t requested his company, but it seemed he had something to say, following closely behind me.
“Hm…. I thought we were entering a raccoon den when I heard it was a smoking room, but the air is quite nice.”
Given the expensive train, the smoking room was of a fairly decent level. It was well-ventilated, and the ashtrays seemed to be cleaned out regularly.
I headed to the window that opened like a balcony, took out a match from my pocket, and lit a cigarette. The cigarette slowly began to burn.
I took a deep drag, enjoying the minty sensation hitting my chest and throat before exhaling the smoke.
“Phew….”
Professor Armstrong made another grimace, then showed a look of surprise as he caught the scent of the smoke.
“The smell isn’t bad.”
“Is that so?”
“Hmm. Professor Underwood smokes an extremely terrible brand, but Professor Antorelli is not at that level. It seems to differ according to a person’s preferences. That woman must be foul-hearted. Hahaha!”
Following Armstrong’s hearty laughter, I awkwardly smiled. After all, it was merely a forced smile.
“Ah…. By the way, did you come out just to smoke, Professor Antorelli?”
“Yes. That and… a little…”
I took another drag and exhaled the smoke outside. This time, I made sure not to blow it towards Professor Armstrong.
“A little?”
“Just… I feel a bit suffocated inside. So, I stepped out for a bit… to clear my head.”
“Hmm….”
Professor Armstrong showed a complex expression. After a moment of silence, he leaned his wooden-like arm against the railing and spoke.
“Well, I’ve been feeling a bit suffocated myself lately.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. No matter how I am, I do have at least one concern weighing on my heart.”
His expression seemed a bit lonely. His once-mighty beard and piercing eyes now appeared to have softened. I tapped the ash from my cigarette into the ashtray and cautiously asked.
“Is that because of Professor Underwood?”
“…Well, yes. It is because of that woman.”
“What happened?”
Professor Armstrong looked around for a moment and then realized that we were the only ones in the smoking room and lowered his head.
“I don’t know if Professor Antorelli is aware, but I and Professor Underwood have been nominated as candidates for the next chancellor.”
“I know.”
“In that case, the conversation shall proceed swiftly. In fact, I haven’t been particularly fierce about pursuing the chancellor position. I used to be someone without much ambition.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“You couldn’t. To add on, I used to have a pretty amicable relationship with Professor Underwood. We would help each other when needed and watch each other’s backs in tough times. No matter what anyone says, that woman and I were classmates at the Caldera Imperial Academy.”
As Professor Armstrong spoke, he seemed to have a look of exasperation, as if tired of something. I nodded, releasing a puff of cigarette smoke.
“However, for some strange reason, rumors began to spread a few years ago that I was after the chancellor position… And of all things, Professor Underwood, who had been putting a lot of energy into the chancellor candidacy, heard those rumors.”
“That must have been a headache.”
“It was a total headache. It goes without saying, right? It was quite the ordeal. While I had such thoughts at times, I was willing to give that position up if it were Professor Underwood.”
As I listened to him speak while burning my cigarette, it had somehow turned into a short stub. I extinguished the butt in the ashtray and took out a second cigarette to light it.
Professor Armstrong continued speaking.
“Ah… There was a time when Chancellor Damian and several professors were having a meeting, and that woman suddenly cornered me, leading me to… accidentally take the position of someone aiming for the chancellor role.”
“And so, even now…?”
“Even now, we are still at each other’s throats. I still have a mind to concede, but every time that woman sees me, she just scratches at my insides… That’s why I’ve been feeling quite suffocated lately.”
That was quite a tangled and complicated story. Moreover, it was unexpected.
To think that such a rough and muscular man would be suffering over something requiring such delicate conversation.
I nodded, considering his advice while tasting the cigarette.
“If you hold a sincere conversation, can’t it be resolved in some way? It seems that Professor Armstrong, above all, needs dialogue.”
“Hmm….”
“The best way to clear up misunderstandings is indeed open conversation, don’t you think?”
Professor Armstrong, who had been stroking his beard in thought, nodded and pulled himself away from the railing. His face appeared slightly brighter.
“Thank you, Professor Antorelli. Receiving counsel from someone who is going to be a cleric certainly brings my mind some ease.”
“You flatter me.”
“It’s not a lie. I genuinely think that way.”
As Professor Armstrong seemed ready to leave, I quickly took a long drag from my cigarette. As it burned quickly, I felt a slight dizziness.
“Well then, it’s time to hear about Professor Antorelli’s troubles.”
Until Professor Armstrong leaned back against the railing once again. The moment I heard his words, my dizzy head snapped clear.
“My troubles… you say?”
“Yes. I heard from Professor Underwood that smokers tend to smoke consecutively when they have really annoying concerns. Don’t you have such worries, Professor Antorelli?”
“…….”
In truth, I didn’t have any particular worries. I had been busy all weekend and hadn’t really rested, and thanks to a sleepless night, I was just tired.
As I mumbled this fact, Professor Armstrong crossed his arms and pondered for a moment. I blew the cigarette smoke out the window and quietly waited for him to speak.
After some serious contemplation, he snapped his fingers and opened his mouth.
“Listening to Professor Antorelli’s words, I thought long and hard… but I think you lack leisure.”
“Leisure… you say.”
“Indeed. Leisure. How can a person only work and consider efficiency? That’s not being human, it’s being a machine. A machine.”
A machine, huh. I mulled over Professor Armstrong’s advice several times.
“What Professor Antorelli needs is not just to allocate time for simple rest. You just need to have some peace of mind.”
Peace of mind. I pondered that phrase for a moment before asking Professor Armstrong.
“How can I have this peace of mind?”
“Isn’t that easy? Just dawdle around and it will come about naturally.”
I gazed blankly at Professor Armstrong. I didn’t understand his words.
“If I dawdle, I’ll acquire peace of mind?”
“I expressed that too succinctly. This time, I’ll explain it clearly. Don’t you have bothersome thoughts or trivial worries tormenting your mind?”
I nodded readily. Seeing my reaction, Professor Armstrong, who appeared somewhat more confident, continued speaking.
“When those thoughts arise, just lie flat wherever you are. And think.”
Ditch all worries. I won’t do anything. Today’s tasks will be handled by tomorrow’s me.
“That’s how it goes.”
It was somewhat ridiculous advice, compelling me to frown. It was both an attempt to interpret his words and a response of disbelief after all.
Observing me, Professor Armstrong pointed at my furrowed brow.
“Look at you. Even now, you’re trying to interpret my words unnecessarily, aren’t you? Just take them for what they are.”
“But I must discern the intention behind what the other person is saying…”
“The problem is being overly concerned with assigning meaning to trivial matters. That’s what I mean.”
– Don’t assign too much meaning to trivial matters.
Suddenly, Mr. Moritz’s advice came to mind. I unconsciously nodded my head.
“Of course, if the depth of that thought is profound, solving it in one go might be difficult. So, start by tackling easier things step by step. First, let go of the habit of assigning meaning to trivial matters, like just now.”
“……”
“If you manage to sort it out to a certain extent, then adopt an optimistic attitude.”
I silently smoked my cigarette, reflecting on his words.
As I immersed myself in thought while smoking, Professor Armstrong patted my shoulder and waved his hand.
“I think I should be going soon. The students left without an instructor are getting anxious. I enjoyed today’s conversation.”
“…Yes. Please go in.”
Thus, after Professor Armstrong’s imposing figure exited the smoking room, I continued to gaze intently at the spot he had vacated.
“…An optimistic attitude.”
To wipe all worries from my mind and attempt to set everything down for a moment, just as he had said.
A line from a novel I had read before possessing this body suddenly came to mind.
– Tomorrow will bring tomorrow’s sunshine.
The protagonist’s final monologue from the world-famous novel, “Gone with the Wind.” Quietly recalling that line, I rubbed the short stub against the ashtray to extinguish it.
“…Tomorrow’s sunshine.”
For some reason, I felt that tonight, I might be able to sleep a little more soundly.
That was the feeling I got.