perverted potion prankster Naruto

The largest and most dangerous thunderstorm of the year so far.

"He really knows how to pick time and place, doesn't he!?" Irina shouted through the rain and storm. It was impossible to pretend that she knew what kind of ritual that Naruto had started, but they had not seen much of him in over 2 weeks as he stayed out of trouble. No reports of monsters, no pranks being done on civilians, nothing that he would usually do that allowed them to track him down.

Naruto had created a MASSIVE magical circle to work with.

All the trees within a 40 meter radius, on the top of the hill they were on, all had markings carved into them. Naruto had a snake, a STILL LIVING snake, pinned to each tree and attached to the carved magic circles. The snakes bleeding bodies staining the magical circles red in blood, and Naruto had carved out lines down the trees and going towards the magical circle that was carved into the stone of the top of the hill.

"That is a BIG potion though... I can only fear what nightmarish, and most likely pornographic, creature he plans on creating." Xenovia could only watch as Naruto attached something the the top of a flag pole that he had taken. He had attached three different flag poles together, so that the large metal rod was the tallest thing in the area.

Irina raised her sword.

"We should cut him down."

"He could hit the ground and seriously hurt himself, we can't inflict lethal harm to him." Xenovia reminded.

"I've been struck with inspiration!" Naruto shouted out from the top of the lightning rod. The rod that was sticking out of the middle of his potion. There was a roaring fire underneath the potion that was protected from the rain, and even as the potion gathered rainwater, it kept staying a boiling red.

"You're going to get struck by lightning idiot! I can't kick your nuts, and feel good about it, if you die because you got struck down by God!" Irina complained to Naruto as he nearly finished carving the magical symbols into the top of the rod. He had a wide grin on his cheeks, and he slid down the rod and down to the potion, before he jumped off and landed in front of it. "What could you possibly be making that would need this much effort!?"

The rain was horrifyingly loud.

"I've tried and tried, but my Tentacle Monsters have very short lifespans! I think I have figured out a way to make them live far longer, and after going through my father's notes, I noticed he noted a lot of things included in the alchemy of prolonged life! Combing his knowledge with my mother's notes on beauty and vitality potions, I will create the ultimate Tentacle monster!" Naruto shouted out as he reached up with his hands towards the sky. Naruto was absolutely giddy, before he looked at Xenovia and Irina.

...

"When did you two get here?" Naruto's mind just now registered them.

He had been talking to himself earlier.

"People reported a blond haired fool setting up some strange ritual on top of this hill, and the Church ordered us to come here and put a stop to it! Now, prepare to-" Irina rushed towards Naruto with her sword drawn. She slammed face first into a barrier that came out of the ground, pure magical energy that protruded from the ground. "-what!?"

She was rubbing her nose as she shouted.

The barrier started to transform into slime, and quickly reached for them. The magical slime took damage, but so long as it was supplied with magical energy, their attacks didn't finish it off. They both noticed that Naruto's feet were glowing as the magic circle underneath all of them sucked out HIS magical power and used it to fuel both the slime AND supply the potion with energy.

"You two should get out of here, when this baby goes off, it won't be safe for either of you when my new baby awakens!" Naruto tossed a tentacle seed into the potion, and small vines started to grow out of the potion, that was the same color as the potion itself.

"Why put yourself in so much danger for a tentacle-"

"Did you know how fucking annoying it is to have to re-created the same tentacle monster every single time I want to experiment! With this, I will NEVER have to spent another second re-creating the same tentacle breed, and can focus my attention on my new experiments!" Naruto loved his work, but he hated creating the same thing over and over again with no variation. All the time he had to re-create his base tentacle monster in order to experiment with it, just made it all the more time consuming for him.

Not to mention the times people would interrupt him.

How could he devote his time to creating an invisible slime monster, or make a potion that could turn change a person's gender, if he had to spend so much time on the same tentacle monster. Sure, tentacles were such an excellent farming material for ingredients, but he used up so many ingredients just to create them.

*BOOM*

"Okay, that was really close!" Irina freaked out when lightning struck one of the trees.

*BOOM*

Lightning started to strike tree after tree that was marked with the carvings, and surges of power started to light up the magical circle that was carved into the stone of the ground. Xenovia pulled Irina back as the slime barrier was completely destroyed when the lightning coursed through the magical lines. Naruto was careful not to step on the magical lines, so that none of the lightning would touch his body. His potion was flooded with electrical energy, and Naruto looked up at the sky.

Lightning struck.

It didn't just strike though, Xenovia and Irina were watching as lightning shot out of the ground and up the lightning rod, shooting straight into the clouds while lightning shot from the clouds and went into the potion. Guided by the magical lines and the lightning that coursed around it, like a massive tree of lightning shooting to the ground.

"Irina, we need to go get Naruto, he's far too close to-"

Naruto was blasted away when his potion exploded, and both of his arms suffered severe burns on them, but he was otherwise unharmed as he was sent clean out of the magical circle. He landed on his back behind Xenovia, before he rolled across the ground. Lightning still shot from the ground where the potion had been.

The magical circle sucked up ALL of the energy from the storm itself it would seem, creating a hole in the clouds above them all. The rain stopped, and the lightning stopped as well. The magical circle itself had been destroyed, and where the potion had been, there was now a small, smoking crater.

"Hah! You failed!" Irina mocked Naruto for his failure.

She saw no tentacle monster waiting for them!

"No no no no." Naruto scrambled to his feet and ran towards the spot where the potion had been. The culmination of his weeks of hard work, and he would have to do it ALL over again. He would need so much prep work, and need to find another place that had the right placement of trees on top of a hill. Then he would have to recreate his potion, his tentacle monster, AND the ritual for the fueling again.

He would have to do it ALL over again.

He hoped at least the tentacle monster survive, or at least part of it survived. When Naruto got to the top of the hill, he saw that the lightning rod had turned into pure gold for some reason. The metal in it was now a striking gold, and the ground crackled as the destroyed remains of his iron pot showed that they too had been turned to gold.

"Eh?" Naruto asked as he looked at a stone.

A stone that was the same color red as the potion he had created, and the rain water that touched the stone turned bright red as well. Naruto picked up the stone in his hand and looked at it, before his face became deadpan.

A stupid rock?

All of that work, and all he got was a shiny red stone, and his potion had turned everything that he needed to work with into gold. Naruto got out his notebook and he looked at the last few steps, and he grumbled to himself.

Failure: Makes a dumb rock, going to keep the rock though, a reminder of this failure.

Naruto took the small red gem stone and he took his necklace off, before he attached the stone to the necklace. Putting the necklace back on, Naruto sighed to himself in annoyance.

All that work, and he just ended up creating a pretty red rock.

"... Shit, you two are right behind me." Naruto stated when he realized that he still had Irina and Xenovia to deal with. Naruto looked behind himself, and saw both of the girls were standing there, and both seemed more than happy to have a chance to take their revenge out on him.

"You're going down."

"You're screwed."

"No, you!" Naruto shouted as he reached into his jacket and pulled out a group of bottles and tossed them onto the ground, shattering the bottles and unleashing the creatures that he had stored inside of them.

Slime and tentacles.

Naruto BOOKED it instantly while Xenovia and Irina were forced to battle against the tentacles, while he himself did not stop running even when the two girls were out of sight.

-Later-

"... How... are you seeing what I am seeing Xenovia?" Irina asked as she panted, having been fighting for the passed 20 minutes against the horde of perverted monsters. Her clothes were nearly all gone, but with Xenovia having her back, she managed to GOT get molested this time... too much.

Xenovia was in about the same state, and about the same state of shock as well, when they reached the top of the hill and looked at the iron brewing pot having turned to gold, and the metal lightning rod having turned to gold as well. The red wine-like fluid that had touched the stone that Naruto picked up.

"Metal to gold... changing water to a life giving liquid." Xenovia stated as the wine-like liquid touched started to sink into the ground more, and more grass started to grow through the stone. "He's an idiot-"

"So are you."

"I'm an idiot, but I've been with the church long enough to know what Naruto just accidentally created... do we report this?" Xenovia stated as she just had a small mental issue with what Naruto had created.

On accident.

While trying to make a tentacle monster.

The church was NOT going to believe her report on this.