Mute Words

The car rocked and I slept in a daze. Half asleep, my mind jumped between all sorts of bizarre scenes: one moment I was on a roller coaster in an amusement park, the next I was on the surface of the moon.

The next moment, the cold of winter alternating with the heat of summer, I stood in front of the temple gate, looking up at the beautiful and timeless three characters “Jizhu Temple” on the plaque above my head, and in my ears were the interlacing voices of the bhikkhunis in the temple.

These voices were old and young, slow and fast, but they all repeated the same phrase in a dull and indifferent manner: “Abbess Xuantan is not receiving any guests, Layperson, please go home.”

Xiangyan attained enlightenment by striking a bamboo, dispelling all evil views, and thus the temple was named Jizhu Temple.

Ever since I was eight years old, Jiang Xuehan renounced the world and became a nun, she was no longer a mother or a daughter, but just an ordinary nun in Jizhu Temple.

I had long since given up hope, and with a blank expression on my face, I turned around, and in the blink of an eye, I was back in the winter vacation when I was eleven years old.

That winter holiday, I followed Yan Chuwen and his father on a long journey, and after many twists and turns, it took two full days to reach a place called Cuoyan Song at the foot of Canglan Snow Mountain.

The sun was shining brightly, the sky was blue, the walls of the houses were white as if painted with milk, everyone was wearing strange robes that were very different from those of the Xia people, and they were speaking a strange language that I couldn’t understand.

Yan Chuwen’s father was a professor at the National University and had always been committed to the study of folk culture. That year he took his students a long way to Cuoyan Song for an investigation, and was warmly welcomed by the governor, who not only greeted them personally, but even arranged for someone to take us on a tour of several villages of the Cenglu tribe under the jurisdiction of Cuoyan Song.

For the expedition team, this was a rare opportunity to learn about the Cenglu tribe, a minority group, and they naturally treasured it. A group of people got together and spent half a day discussing the posters on people’s doors.

Yan Chuwen had seen and heard a lot about this since he was a child, so he also liked it and listened with interest. However, I knew nothing about folk customs, so I was very confused. When I saw that no one was paying attention to me, I just left the group and wandered around the village.

The guide who showed us around the village where he lived spoke broken Xia and told us that the village was called “Pengge”, meaning “the closest place to heaven”, and was the largest Cenglu tribe village in the entire Cuoyan Song. At the top of the village, the white-walled, gold-tiled building was their “Deer King Temple”, where the “oracles” who served the gods had lived for generations.

Professor Yan was very interested in the Oracle and hoped to meet with him for a short interview. However, the guide, a devout Cenglu, was fine with showing us around the village, but was afraid to take outsiders to disturb the Oracle’s peace. Professor Yan tried several times, but got the same answer each time, and finally had no choice but to give up with regret.

I was quite rebellious as a child. The more they told me not to go, the more I wanted to go. I would wander around, and in a flash I would climb up the long staircase.

The whole village was built on a hill, with layers of slopes going up, and there was only one building at the top of the hill, and that was the temple.

The gate was open, the courtyard was quiet, and there was no one in sight. I hesitated for a moment, then lifted my foot and stepped into the temple.

Curious, I looked around. I walked around the tall building, mentally identifying the differences between it and Jizhu Temple, when suddenly I heard a dull knocking sound in the distance.

“Pop! Pop!”

The sound was strange. I quietly searched for the source of the sound in the backyard, and just as I turned a corner, I saw two figures standing and kneeling under the tall cypress tree in the backyard.

The one standing was wearing a long white robe, looked to be in his forties, had thin cheeks, and was full of anger. He was holding a thick, long rattan cane and whacking the kneeling teenager on the back with it.

The boy was about the same age as me, with a snow-white complexion and features that were so strong they didn’t look like Xia people’s. He wore only one piece of clothing in the cold winter, and kept his eyes closed as he clenched his teeth and endured the constant whipping.

The more stubborn he was, the colder the middle-aged man’s face became. He shouted something angrily and lashed him again.

The boy’s back collapsed and he leaned on his hands, almost falling to the ground.

I am a native city boy who has received a New Age education and practices the ideals of equality and freedom. I couldn’t help but take a deep breath and step back from the street.

It was at this time that the boy seemed to sense something and suddenly looked up in my direction.

The look was full of pain and unbearable, but also extremely fierce, like a young wolf that had accidentally stepped into a trap. Even though it was on the losing side and severely injured, it had to arm itself with sharp claws and teeth, never allowing others to look down on it.

I locked eyes with those dark, dark eyes and blinked, slowly waking up.

Where was the mysterious and solemn Cenglu Temple around me? It was clearly Yan Chuwen’s broken-down pickup truck.

I was still confused when Yan Chuwen drove right over a big pothole. Even though I was wearing a seat belt, my butt was separated from the seat for two seconds.

No wonder I was dreaming about a roller coaster…

I woke up completely and silently grabbed the handrail above me.

“It’s not just talk… I’m going to play a DJ remix now, and you and I can follow the music without having to stand up for the whole song. Can you believe it?” I looked at the time. Yan Chuwen said that it would take two hours to get from Shannan Airport to Pengge, and we had only just reached the halfway point. I couldn’t help but ask, “Is it going to be like this the rest of the way?”

Yan Chuwen glanced over at me in his spare time: “Are you tired? It’s like that in a small place. It’s definitely not comparable to Hai City, but it’s already very good. Do you remember when we came here as kids? The roads were even worse. We spent the whole day bouncing around in the van, and half the people in the car threw up.

I looked out the window at the yellow-gray mountain rocks on both sides of the road and said sleepily, “I forgot.

Yan Chuwen smiled and added, “The last time I asked you to come, you had a headache and wanted to go abroad. I thought you were psychologically scarred from being shaken around as a child and didn’t like it here anymore. I didn’t expect you to come so suddenly.

I was silent for a long time, too embarrassed to tell him the real reason. I just said that I hadn’t rested for a long time and wanted to take a long vacation.

Yan Chuwen is not even on Weibo, let alone short video apps, and easily believed me without asking any further questions.

There are very few flights from Hai City to Shannan, and I booked in a hurry, so I could only get a 9am flight. The alarm clock went off at 6, but I struggled to get up until 6:30. I poured myself a cup of sugar-free Americano, grabbed my luggage, and headed to the airport. Later, on the plane, caught between the heavy sleep and the caffeine in my blood, I fell asleep and woke up, unable to rest.

We finally arrived in Pengge. Yan Chuwen parked the pickup outside the Institute of Folk Culture, and I carried my suitcase, eager to go to my room and go to bed. However, Yan Chuwen was full of enthusiasm and began explaining about the Folk Culture Institute from the “Cenglu Folk Culture Research Institute” sign at the entrance, which made me feel drowsy and my head grow heavier and heavier.

“There are only two of us here, me and my junior. We hire an aunt from the village to cook our three meals a day, but this is a small place with scarce supplies, so the food is simple. Please bear with us…”

The wall of the courtyard is made of gray stones, less than a meter high, with a veranda in the corner. A thick wisteria vine has climbed up it, but it’s the middle of winter and the plant is dormant, so there are only dead branches and no leaves to be seen.

The little yellow dog lying in the yard was brought back by Guo Shu, Yan Chuwen’s junior fellow student. When she visited the villagers’ home, the family dog had just given birth to a litter of puppies, all round and cute. The villagers saw that she liked them and insisted on giving her one.

“Its name is Er Qian,” Yan Chuwen said, pointing at the little dog with floppy ears lounging in the sun. It wasn’t originally named that, but when it was three months old, one day when we weren’t looking, it jumped up on the table and swallowed the two-cent coin Guo Shu had placed on it, so we had to check its droppings for the next two days to see if it had expelled any foreign objects. After that, we changed his name to ‘Er Qian’ as a warning.

Yan Chuwen led me all the way to the second floor and opened the room at the far end for me to go in.

“You can freshen up first,” Yan Chuwen said, glancing at his watch. “Do you want to go for a walk later?”

I was about to politely decline when he continued, “The temple is not far from here. If you want to go, we can walk there.”

I pursed my lips and swallowed the words I had prepared to say.

“Okay, wait five minutes for me.”

I quickly washed my face with cold water, messed with my hair in the mirror, and then once I was ready, I met Yan Chuwen downstairs and we set off together for the temple at the top of the mountain.

The shed was located deep in the mountains, at a high altitude, and much colder than Hai City. Even though I had a scarf around my neck and was wearing a thick down jacket, the exposed skin still felt like it was going to freeze.

“You came at the right time. The Winter Harvest Festival is just a few days away, and it’s considered the second biggest festival here after the Deer King’s Birthday. It’s a time to pray for good weather and a bountiful harvest. There will be free food in front of the temple so you can join in the fun.”

“Will it prolong life or cure all diseases?” White mist escapes from between my teeth, and I’m a little unsteady as I speak because I’m so cold.

“Neither. It’s just for good luck,” Yan Chuwen chuckled.

In the early years, Cuoyan Song was inaccessible due to its poor transportation and poverty. There were very few Xia people left in the state. In recent years, with the government’s vigorous efforts to alleviate poverty, build roads, provide Internet access, and develop tourism, although there are still few Xia people coming here in winter, it no longer causes the Cenglu people to stare in surprise.

Two young women wearing various beaded jewelry and black Cenglu costumes passed by us, seemingly acquainted with Yan Chuwen, smiling and nodding at him as they passed.

It was bitterly cold in winter, and they were wearing thick black hoods on their heads, with two long scarves draped like shawls behind them. As they walked, the silver bells tied at the corners made a small sound.

“Cenglu people wear black or dark red robes only in formal situations. The felt hats on their heads are worn in winter to keep out the cold and the sun. They are usually only worn in winter,” Yan Chuwen volunteered to explain to me. “These robes are decorated with narrow colored stripes on the sleeves, lapels, and hem, representing the nine colors of the nine-colored deer.”

“The belt is usually separate from the garment and can be paired at will. I have seen a woven belt embedded with agate, beeswax, and coral. When I received it, I was afraid to look too closely for fear of scratching it if I breathed too hard.”

Like many ethnic minorities, the Cenglu tribe also has its own beliefs. They believe in the mountain god of Canglan snow mountain, a nine-colored deer that will save people in times of trouble.

I looked straight ahead, and the gold roof of the Deer King Temple was particularly eye-catching in the sunlight.

“Is that why you’re dressed so formally, because you’re going to the temple?”

Yan Chuwen nodded and said, “Yes, most of the time.

I looked down at my down jacket and jeans and thought, “I’m the one who’s being rude.

It’s only a few hundred meters from the Folklore Research Institute to the temple, but there are thousands of steps. Tired and not used to the altitude, I walked and stopped, and when I reached the top, my heart was beating so fast that it felt like it was going to jump out of my throat.

“Are you okay?” Yan Chuwen looked weak, but he had amazing stamina. At this moment, he was calm and collected, as if he could run a marathon right now.

I supported myself on my knees for a while and loosened the scarf around my neck a bit.

“I’m fine. At least… I’ve been hiking a lot the last two years.”

“You should still take it easy,” Yan Chuwen said, looking into the temple with a tone tinged with emotion. “It’s been so many years since we graduated from college. Bo Yin, you know that the Oracle of Cenglu these days is Mo Chuan.’

I paused, maintaining the position of supporting my knee as I looked at him, not saying a word, waiting for him to finish.

“Mo Chuan is his secular name, we can’t call him that anymore, we have to call him ‘Pingjia’ like everyone else, remember,” Yan Chuwen solemnly reminded him.

Jialing Pinjia is said to be the wonderful songbird of Buddha Land, with a beautiful and moving voice that no one can match. And in the Cenglu tribe, this wonderful sound bird has become a messenger bird, given the responsibility of ‘Oracle’ and required to serve the gods for life, conveying prayers to the Mountain God on behalf of the tribe.

I grinned and straightened up and said, “I remember.

We walked in together and immediately saw a man and a woman standing at the bottom of the steps of the main hall. They must have been a young couple, dressed in similar dark red robes to the two girls before them, with a baby in their arms, still in swaddling clothes.

The mother held the baby up and carefully handed it to the person on the steps, and my eyes followed.

The wide belt embroidered with nine-colored raindrop-shaped dots on the shoulders of the silver-white robe swayed gently in the wind, tangling with the corners of the felt cover hanging behind her, forcing the bell to make a pleasant tinkling sound. Perhaps it was the difference in the material used, but I always found the sound of the bell more pleasant than that of the two Cenglu girls earlier.

The white robe was clean and pure, and when you looked at it for a long time in the sunlight, it even seemed a little dazzling. The man held out his hands, which were as immaculate as the white robe, to receive the baby. His face, hidden under the felt cap, hung low, and he whispered softly to the baby in his arms for a moment before slowly leaning forward and kissing the baby on the forehead.

“This is to give the newborn a blessing.” Yan Chuwen wanted to go forward, but I held him back and just stood there quietly waiting.

After a while, the man in white handed the baby back to the mother. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed us standing nearby and looked over.

Over the years, I have attended many fashion events and celebrity dinners for work. I have met many handsome people, including many of the hottest beauties in the entertainment industry, but none of them are as stunning as the face in front of me.

Anyone who sees the face under the felt cover will marvel at the beauty of the other person.

This beauty, which transcends gender, comes partly from his appearance and partly from the subtle “divinity” within him.

Cold white skin, coupled with features as beautiful as they come, should have made him even more seductive, but his ascetic and dignified temperament has combined them into an unholy holiness that is like a… peony blooming on a snowy mountain. None but the gods may touch it.

Yan Chuwen’s expression did not change when he saw Yan Chuwen, the “Peony of the Snowy Mountains,” but when his gaze turned to me, he imperceptibly paused and frowned.

Again and again, the stars and the frost have moved like fleeting water. It’s been seven years, and I’ve come back after a full circle both inside and outside the country. The world has changed, and the only thing that hasn’t changed seems to be this Oracle of the Cenglu Tribe’s dislike for me.

“Hey! Long time no see,” I waved my hand and greeted the other person with a broad smile.

He did not react, but slightly averted his gaze and smiled while talking to the people in front of him. He did not start walking down the stairs until after the couple had turned and left, and then he walked toward Yan Chuwen and me.

Note:
Xiangyan Striking Bamboo: A Buddhist parable about the monk Zhiyan of Xiangyan Temple, who achieved enlightenment upon hearing the sound of a tile striking bamboo.