Miss, stop committing suicide

Chapter 48

No matter how much I twisted the doorknob, the door wouldn’t open.

They say mages use personalized spells to lock and unlock doors, creating their own keys.

Maybe Vivian did the same. Or perhaps she had simply locked it with an ordinary key.

“Oh, um, were you seriously trying to escape by just running out of here?”

Evan sounded like he couldn’t decide whether to laugh or be exasperated.

I suppose I’d be angry too if someone flipped a table in front of me. But if that someone was too incompetent to even open a locked door and escape, it’d also be pretty funny.

Running for the door and flipping a table wouldn’t exactly guarantee my escape.

Trying to turn a locked doorknob only to find it won’t budge is just basic logic, but I’d forgotten about it since I hadn’t locked a door in ages.

“Oh, um… what should I even say?”

Both Evan and Vivian stared at me, their gazes boring into me.

It was suffocating.

“…Yeah.”

I replied softly, barely audible.

What could I do when momentary emotions always overrode rational thoughts in my head?

It felt instinctual—like a reflex I couldn’t control.

I glanced back to see Vivian quietly setting the overturned table upright, using a spell to clean up the mess.

“This isn’t even your room; it’s someone else’s.

I didn’t think you’d ever do something like this,” Evan said, scratching his chin.

“I wouldn’t have before. But what’s the point?

The foundation that used to shape my behavior has completely crumbled; there’s nothing left.”

“When people mess up, usually they apologize rather than act out like this. Especially Vivian.”

Hearing this, Vivian panicked, trying to stop Evan, as if convinced I would never apologize in the first place.

But hadn’t I already apologized once? Well, no… Maybe I’d just begged to be let go back then.

Either way, my pride was long shattered into unrecognizable fragments. There was no point in explaining that now.

“Evan, it’s fine! Really—”

Vivian tried to interject, but I cut her off, seizing the moment to speak.

“Really? You’re the ones who dragged me here by force, tied me up, and refused to let me go. Who’s in the wrong here? This is abduction and confinement.”

Vivian averted her gaze, avoiding my eyes as she shifted uncomfortably.

I plopped down on the cold marble floor near the entrance, where shoes were neatly placed.

The chill seeped into me.

“Well, it’s not unreasonable for attitudes to change overnight like this.

I’m fine now, so just leave me alone.”

“That’s the kind of thing people say when they’re sent to a mental institution, right before they’re left alone forever,” Evan quipped.

A mental institution—a glorified prison that may or may not bother to feed its inhabitants. Just a place that locks people away if someone pays enough.

“What, are you planning to lock me up too?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then let me go.

This place is suffocating. See? I’m fine now.

I’m not hurt, not sad. So just let me out.”

My gun was still in Vivian’s possession, but ending my life wasn’t my only option. I didn’t need a gun to…

“No. Sharing a room with a guy is inappropriate, so stay with Vivian.”

Evan spoke firmly, lifting me with telekinesis and depositing me back onto the bed.

The experience of floating helplessly in midair, flailing my arms and legs, was both unpleasant and novel.

“Vivian, you can fit another bed in here, right?”

“Uh, yes! But I don’t have any money. Could you lend me some?”

Why were they deciding all of this without me?

“I’ll buy one for you, so don’t worry about that.

Take care of Erica. I know it’ll be tiring for you, but she’s having a hard time too.

Oh, and if anything happens, call me.”

With that, Evan began chanting a spell. The gemstone embedded in a ring he once gave me glowed, and he conjured two identical crystals, hovering in midair.

He handed one to Vivian and the other to me.

“Just break it, and I’ll come immediately.”

Evan left the room after saying those words.

I glanced at Vivian. Her face was flushed, as if she were a little smitten.

“Great. Just great.”

“…Erica.”

“What? You seem pretty pleased about picking up a pet, don’t you? Feed it, keep it locked up, treat it kindly, and watch it wag its tail for you.”

“You can say whatever you like, but you’ll be staying here.

At least there are no blades or fully loaded guns in this room.”

Hearing her words, I pulled my legs up onto the bed, hugged my knees, and buried my face in them.

Instead of looking ahead, I stared at the dark space below me.

“This is disgusting.”

“…”

They didn’t care at all before. They just let me wither away, drying out like a plant with no water.

Now that they see me dying right in front of them, they decide to act?

Then again, how could anyone know when a person’s soul was dying?

But still, they could have shown a little concern before.

If they had, maybe my mind wouldn’t have tangled itself up with this pathetic version of me.

Now, what’s the point of saying anything?

It’s meaningless—just a cycle of repeating the same things over and over again.

“Vivian, what about classes? How are you going to manage those?”

“I’ll escort you to the classroom myself. Or Evan will. Either way, you’ll be taken there.”

“When class ends…”

“We’ll come get you, just like before.

And maybe if we wander around the school together like we used to, things will start to feel a little better.”

“For me? Or for… us?”

“Both.”

“I don’t know.”

“Anyway, just rest for today.

A few days of staying in won’t cause any major problems for you.”

“And you?”

“Evan helped me out.”

“I see…”

I almost said I was jealous.

“…It’s nothing.”

Living with Vivian began in the strangest way.

To be honest, I felt like a pet being raised by someone.

After being confined here, I mostly sat on the bed, staring blankly and doing nothing.

Occasionally, when Vivian brought tea and cookies, I ate them because they were delicious. But that was it.

I felt less like a person and more like a mindless doll, my daily routine consisting of nothing but sitting in a daze.

While my eyes wandered to the view outside the window, my thoughts drifted elsewhere.

Noticing this, Vivian asked me a question.

“Erica, what are you thinking about?”

“Just… old memories.”

I recalled how, even when I was in my early teens, my mother always walked me to school.

The route was safe, and I used to walk alongside other children, but my mother insisted on staying close. 

I remember complaining in a sulky tone, asking why she kept coming along when I was old enough to walk on my own.

She’d said that she liked being with me. It wasn’t far enough to warrant taking the car, and there were always so many people walking around that she just wanted to stroll beside me.

I nodded then and replied, “I see.”

By middle school, she started driving me instead. But for some reason, I remember those earlier walks together more vividly.

They remain good memories.

After all, they were with someone I liked—a family member I cared about.

Sometimes, I miss them.

Why did that memory come to mind? Probably because this situation feels so similar, yet completely different.

“Shall we go?”

But now, it’s terrible.

She’s not family. We’re not close. I’ve tried pushing her away, but instead, she drags me to class and escorts me back, as if it’s perfectly normal.

“So, you’re taking me again?”

Vivian nodded, looking a little guilty.

Even if I wanted to ask someone for help, there was no one.

Evan must have already silenced the teachers, and the higher-ranking people who might help wouldn’t bother coming here. They’d be holed up in their labs, experimenting all day.

And so, here I was, sitting in class, enduring ridicule.

“Lady Erica, was that vulgar, promiscuous woman too lowly for you to acknowledge as your mother?

Did you replace her with a common-born mage instead?

Well, I suppose if the rumors are true, she’s far more competent. Clever choice, I must say!”

“Indeed,” another chimed in.

“Honestly, isn’t it a bit shameful?

Your family’s downfall has you clinging to commoners like a parasite.

I could never imagine living like that.”

Lydia stared at me, pressing her gaze into me when I didn’t respond.

For nearly two minutes, she stood there, unrelenting.

Finally, as if bored, she smirked and slapped me across the face.

My head snapped to the side.

There was probably a handprint on my cheek now, though it only stung slightly, meaning it wouldn’t leave a lasting mark—just a faint redness.

“React, would you? It’s boring talking to myself.”

At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to pull out my gun and blow someone’s head off.

Whether it was mine or Lydia’s didn’t matter.

“How long will you keep this up?”

“At least as long as we’re both stuck at this academy.

You’re such fun to play with, after all.

Some of us have no ambition to learn or improve, but since we’re fortunate enough not to have anything hanging between our legs, we’re stuck here anyway—to find decent husbands, of course.”

Lydia paused to catch her breath, then grinned wickedly.

“Oh, but you’ve already been snatched up by that commoner, haven’t you? Poor thing.

Well, I’ve been careful not to hit you where it’ll leave a visible mark. Can’t risk any trouble.”

I glared at Lydia, imagining shooting her right then and there. She noticed and lightly patted my head, tauntingly.

“That’s enough for today!”

Lydia left the classroom, laughing as she led her group of sycophants away.

I waited a few minutes before leaving as well.

Vivian was waiting for me outside.

As if it were the most natural thing in the world.