Just A Friend

#37

Even though only one eye and the bridge of his nose were visible, it was a face that was hard to look away from. Recently, Nam Seonwoo had been so busy avoiding the constant stares that it felt like it had been a long time since he’d openly observed Kang Jihan like this.

The sound of pencil scratching and the clock’s second hand ticking down the wall created a quiet backdrop. Everything in the classroom seemed to fade into a blurry background, existing solely for the person in front of him.

How many minutes had passed? Slowly, dark eyes appeared beneath rising eyelids. The pupils that immediately focused on him didn’t waver at all. It didn’t feel like he’d been caught staring.

In the quiet, intertwined gazes, Kang Jihan’s eyes narrowed horizontally.

“Finally looking at me.” The low whisper dissipated under the bell signaling the end of night study.

Even after the bell, they remained lying down, looking at each other like mirror images. Nam Seonwoo was the first to get up.

“Let’s go.”

But Kang Jihan only raised his upper body, looking up at Nam Seonwoo.

“What are you doing? Aren’t you coming?”

“This.”

Kang Jihan pointed to the calculus workbook he’d been using as a pillow and grinned.

“I finished it all.”

That can’t be. Nam Seonwoo quickly flipped through the workbook. But the problems, solved without missing a single one, told him that this crazy Kang Jihan had really completed it all in one day.

“Seonwoo-ya.”

“…”

“What should I solve next?”

Looking at his grinning face, Nam Seonwoo thought, Surely he’s not really going to achieve a sum of 6 for his grades, is he?

Just like on the way to school, they naturally walked home together. Street lamps illuminating the night stretched along the road. Each time they passed under the yellow light, their conversation topic changed. For instance, under the first street lamp, they complained about the school lunch; under the second, they talked about universities; under the third, they shared thoughts on the cooler weather as they walked under the lights. When they passed a burnt-out lamp, their voices would pause briefly.

The only street lamp in the neighborhood playground was flickering weakly, as if about to go out. Nam Seonwoo stopped under it, and the footsteps following him also came to a halt.

“You should go now.”

The sound of insects announcing late summer filled the playground. It was a sound that had been inaudible until now due to the warmth brushing against the back of their hands.

Kang Jihan didn’t respond. As the lamp above them flickered and went out with a soft pop, it became so dark they could barely see in front of them. The insect sounds seemed to amplify as much as the darkness had expanded.

But with the careful grasp of a hand, those sounds disappeared in an instant.

“Can’t I walk you home?”

The palm was as warm as the back of the hand that had been barely brushing against his. Unlike at school, Nam Seonwoo didn’t push it away, and the hand holding his became a bit bolder.

“To your house.”

Nam Seonwoo looked up at the street lamp that had conveniently just gone out. It was fortunate. He didn’t have to worry about his surely reddened face being seen.

Instead of answering, he started walking. Although there were working street lamps inside the apartment complex, the two figures walked secretly in the darkness as if by mutual agreement.

“Is no one home?”

The voice from beyond the darkness felt somehow secretive, causing Nam Seonwoo to unconsciously tighten his grip. As if in response, Kang Jihan squeezed his hand firmly. Nam Seonwoo quickly countered.

“Yeah. But you can’t come in.”

Laughter came across.

“I didn’t say anything.”

He tried to pull his hand away, but Kang Jihan wouldn’t easily let go.

“Will you let me in when the sun’s up?”

“You’re really getting-“

“Cheeky?”

Eyes now accustomed to the darkness could easily read the expression Kang Jihan was making. Nam Seonwoo turned his head abruptly.

He had said things like “you’re being cheeky” and “it’s too fast for the first day,” but looking at that face made him feel like he was the only bad guy. That face, showing such joy over just holding hands, was truly unfair.

But saying it was too fast wasn’t a lie. He wanted to cherish it. He wished this time would pass as slowly as possible.

“Is this it?”

He liked Kang Jihan’s voice heard over the insect sounds. He liked the warm touch holding him firmly, unlike in the past. So even though they had arrived at the apartment entrance, he stood there for a moment without letting go of Kang Jihan’s hand.

“I’ll come here tomorrow.”

He had worried that Kang Jihan might insist on coming right up to his house, but surprisingly, Kang Jihan stopped here. He let go of Nam Seonwoo’s hand and said,

“Go in safely.”

“It’s right in front, what do you mean go in safely? You go.”

“I’ll watch you go in.”

“…I said that kind of thing is cringeworthy.”

Kang Jihan took a step closer. Tensing unconsciously, wondering what he was going to do now, Nam Seonwoo saw that the face up close was smiling.

“You know what?”

So he couldn’t stop Kang Jihan from poking his cheek with his fingertip.

“When you say it’s cringeworthy, this part of you turns red.”

“…”

“You’re doing it again.”

Apparently, the darkness hadn’t completely hidden his face color. When Nam Seonwoo gripped the finger poking his cheek tightly as if to pull it off, Kang Jihan laughed playfully. Nam Seonwoo didn’t have the confidence to overcome Kang Jihan, who seemed to laugh at everything. In the end, it was Nam Seonwoo who went inside first this time too.

* * *

Kang Jihan no longer dozed off during class.

The guy who had always been slumped over was now sitting up straight, causing not only the classmates but also the teachers to show signs of not adjusting for several days. Some teachers even asked if Kang Jihan was a transfer student when they saw his face.

Of course, that didn’t mean he was actually listening to the lessons. He was diligently following Nam Seonwoo’s advice to completely disregard his school grades. Kang Jihan’s time revolved around the schedule Nam Seonwoo had made for him, not the timetable hanging in the classroom. He solved the workbooks Nam Seonwoo told him to, and memorized what Nam Seonwoo said to memorize, writing until his notebooks turned black. Except for the elective subjects.

Nam Seonwoo sometimes chuckled at how blatantly Kang Jihan was focusing only on Korean, Math, and English. But somehow, he seemed to be studying even harder than in his previous life, and it wasn’t hard to guess why. Occasionally, Nam Seonwoo would poke him in the solar plexus with the tip of his mechanical pencil. He couldn’t resist the ticklish sensation.

Kang Jihan’s workbooks, once full of red marks, gradually began to sprout snowflakes instead of rain, and the foreign language section, which always lacked time, became leisurely enough to have time for review after solving.

To Nam Seonwoo’s eyes, having guided countless students through college admissions, these changes were far from trivial. He knew Kang Jihan was smart, but perhaps because he now had a clear goal in front of him, Kang Jihan was changing as rapidly as if he had grown wings. It was even scary now.

‘What on earth is that guy wishing for…’

Maybe to make Nam Seonwoo call him “Jihan-ah” too? Knowing Kang Jihan, it was more likely he’d ask to be invited to Nam Seonwoo’s home. Studying so hard, he was sure to demand something equally big.

Anyway, perhaps due to the environment of being third-year high school students, even though the definition of their relationship had changed, their daily life didn’t dramatically alter. The routine of sitting next to Kang Jihan to study, going to the school store together, and returning home together after night study continued.

But surprisingly, the colors of each day that made up this routine were diverse. Seeing how this crazy exam preparation life wasn’t boring at all, Nam Seonwoo thought that perhaps he had secretly missed this time of wearing the same uniform and studying the same subjects with Kang Jihan.

And finally, today.

“Next, Nam Seonwoo.”

It was the day the September mock exam results were released.

Nam Seonwoo went to the teacher’s desk with a slightly nervous look. He had a bet with Kang Jihan, but apart from that, this mock exam result was quite important to Nam Seonwoo. Unlike private mock exams, this was the closest to the actual college entrance exam and the last test before it.

“The percentile is a bit tricky, but…”

The homeroom teacher’s voice sounded a bit muffled. Nam Seonwoo blinked. Perhaps because he hadn’t slept for a few days leading up to the mock exam, he felt a bit dazed. He felt a slight dizziness at the teacher’s hand patting his shoulder.

“You shouldn’t let your guard down till the end. Good job.”

At these meaningful words, Nam Seonwoo swallowed hard. He carefully opened the report card he had received with both hands when he returned to his seat. He didn’t even notice Kang Jihan staring at him from the side.

“Ha…”

1, 1, 1, 1… 1.

All the same numbers were printed. Some subjects were just barely hanging onto the 1st grade, but it was still a successful return. Along with relief, the fatigue from the past few days rushed in all at once. And at the same time, something hot streamed down.

Suddenly, Kang Jihan stood up. All eyes turned to the large figure hurriedly going to the back of the classroom. But soon, when Kang Jihan returned with tissues, the gazes shifted to Nam Seonwoo beside him.

“What’s all this commotion… oh my.”

As the homeroom teacher let out a laugh mixed with a sigh, the classroom became noisy with giggles. Nam Seonwoo wiped under his nose. The back of his hand was covered in bright red blood.

“You kids, learn from your class president. You need to study that hard to go to university, huh? Your report cards look like lottery numbers.”

Everyone was laughing, but only Kang Jihan’s expression was serious. Nam Seonwoo roughly stuffed the tissue Kang Jihan handed him into his nose, and it quickly became soaked. Thinking he might need more, he reached out his hand, but Kang Jihan shook his head.

“Let’s go to the infirmary.”

“What infirmary? It’s fine.”

But Kang Jihan was adamant. The blood on the back of Nam Seonwoo’s hand had already hardened, not wiping off no matter how much Kang Jihan tried to clean it. His fingers rubbed Nam Seonwoo’s hand with increasing force.