I’m Not A Saint Though?

chapter 9

Come to think of it, that was absurd from the start.

‘I’m not even the real Saintess, so why did the hail suddenly stop?’

Moreover, the timing was quite coincidental.

The hail stopped as soon as the crowd said, “If she’s the real Saintess, at least the hail falling from the clear sky should stop.”

I didn’t think this strange phenomenon was a mere coincidence, so I subtly tested the lion.

Because the only one who could perform such a feat was this lion.

‘Judging by its reaction, I was right.’

As I smirked, the lion, rolling its eyes as if embarrassed, scratched the back of its head with its large paw.

“I’ve been caught.”

I clicked my tongue inwardly, looking at the lion grinning foolishly.

‘As expected, not divine beast material.’

But inwardly, I was breathing a sigh of relief.

Thanks to this, I had avoided being beheaded for impersonating the Saintess.

“Then His Holiness’s verification won’t be a problem, right?”

I thought the lion would nod, even if hesitantly.

It was only natural for it to take responsibility for what it had started.

But contrary to my expectations, the lion shook its head.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t put Hedel’s mark on your forehead.”

“What? Why?”

I hardened my expression at the lion’s unexpected answer.

‘I thought making a mark appear would be nothing for someone capable of stopping a disaster.’

Moreover, the mark didn’t have to be permanently etched on my forehead.

It only needed to appear briefly during the Pope’s verification…

“Don’t tell me your abilities don’t extend that far?”

Anxious, I leaned closer to the lion’s face.

The lion, pulling its head back slightly as if uncomfortable, spoke, “That’s not it. It’s nothing special. My abilities are far greater than you think!”

“Then why can’t you do it?”

When I asked with an expression of incomprehension, the lion sighed deeply as if pitying me.

“That’s Hedel’s authority. Even I can’t tamper with the Goddess’s divine power. That’s sacrilege.”

“Ha, what was I expecting.”

I glared at the lion, exasperated, after worrying about what insurmountable reason there might be.

“Now you’re talking about sacrilege?  Where was this concern when you were badmouthing the damn Goddess and calling her a scammer?”

“Ahem! Th-That was just me venting because Hedel didn’t keep her promise. And do you think badmouthing someone behind their back is the same as tampering with the Goddess’s divine power?!”

The lion yelled, looking flustered, and I pounded my chest in frustration.

“You’re so frustrating, seriously. Who said I’m going to actually become the Saintess? I’m just going to pretend for a little while.  With the lives of the faithful at stake, I’m sure the Goddess will understand!”

It was something that could definitely incur the Goddess’s wrath, but I had no other choice.

Besides, the sacrilege had already begun the moment I impersonated the Saintess, so I continued to persuade the lion without hesitation.

But the lion was unexpectedly firm.

“Well, I can’t do it anyway!”

Seeing it firmly covering its ears with its paws as if it couldn’t hear anything made me furious.

‘That stupid lion!’

It had pushed me into becoming a Saintess, saying it would entrust its retirement to me, and now it was talking about sacrilege?

Just as I was about to yell in frustration that its retirement was over if I died,

‘That’s…’

I suddenly noticed brown powder scattered on the lion’s cream-colored mane.

It was the remnants of the cookies the lion had devoured earlier.

‘Come to think of it, it really enjoyed those cheap cookies.’

A thought flashed through my mind, and I smiled slyly as I brought up the topic, “About the cookies you ate earlier…”

At that moment, the lion, which had been covering its ears, turned its head sharply.

Its eyes, which had been drooping with annoyance, now sparkled with interest.

At its reaction, which was exactly as I expected, I grinned.

“I told you, right? Those cookies are cheap, with minimal sugar and butter to lower the cost. Plus, the main ingredient, the flour, is whole wheat, so the texture is dry and crumbly.”

“R-Really?  I thought they were quite good. Nutty and sweet, and the texture wasn’t that bad.”

“That’s because your taste buds have atrophied after eating only moss for a thousand years. They’re not something a divine beast should be eating.”

Clicking my tongue as if pitying it, I looked up at the air with gently curved eyes.

“Proper cookies, you see, are made with finely ground flour after removing the wheat bran, with plenty of milk and butter. And then you add a generous amount of white sugar.”

As if my explanation was hypnotic, the lion’s eyes gradually glazed over.

“When you bake the dough in an oven at the right temperature, it becomes a truly soft, nutty, and sweet cookie.”

*Gulp.*

The sound of swallowing echoed through the carriage, indicating that my explanation had been quite effective.

“When you take a bite of that soft cookie…”

I brought my thumb and index finger to my mouth and pretended to take a bite of the air, then covered my face with a look of ecstasy.

“Ah, that’s what heavenly taste is.”

The lion, still staring at me with unfocused eyes, moved its lips.

As if it were actually eating a cookie.

I smiled inwardly, but outwardly, I sighed as if disappointed.

“But it’s such a shame that I can’t offer such delicious cookies to our divine beast.”

“What? Can’t offer them? What do you mean?!”

The lion asked, startled.

It seemed deeply shocked by the idea of not being able to eat high-quality cookies, even gripping my shoulder tightly with its large paw.

‘Oh, this gluttonous lion.’

Wincing at the slight pain in my shoulder, I continued, “Well, if I don’t pass the temple’s verification, I’ll die. A dead person can’t buy and offer cookies, can they?”

“D-Die?”

“Of course. Who would spare a sinner who dared to impersonate the Goddess’s daughter?”

I drooped my eyes.

“Come to think of it, your retirement will be difficult if I die.  Even if you’re the Goddess’s Representative, a beast is a beast. They won’t let you roam free, they’ll probably lock you up in a small cage and try to tame you.”

“Wh-What? Who dares to confine me? A mere human?”

The lion, which had been confined in a cave for a thousand years and had finally gained its freedom, flew into a rage at the thought of being confined again.

But I continued speaking as if I hadn’t heard, “Ah, a would-be divine beast, deprived of its freedom and reduced to eating food given by humans.  And no cookies…”

“No, I’m not going to be confined. Even if they do, I can easily escape!”

“You have nowhere to go even if you escape. Even if you return to your hometown, all the members of your pride will be dead, and only young cubs will remain. What kind of friendship can you have with them?”

The lion’s expression hardened as I threw back the words it had said to me earlier when it tried to burden me with its retirement.

“Forget friendship, you’ll be lucky if they’re even amicable.  You’re a would-be divine beast in name only, in reality, you’re just a foolish old man who was scammed by the Goddess.  How much do you think the young and vigorous lions will mock you…”

“Wh-What? Foolish old man?”

“Sigh, you’ll grow older and older, being mocked by youngsters. Alone and lonely. Ah, our poor divine beast.  There won’t be any cookies in the forest…”

As I dabbed at my eyes with my sleeve as if heartbroken, the lion’s face completely crumpled.

“Stop, stop it! You’re cursing me, cursing me!  Fine, I’ll make sure you pass the verification!”

Finally, the lion raised its voice and blurted out what I wanted to hear.

“You should have done that from the beginning. Since you’ve entrusted your retirement to me, we’re practically partners in fate.”

As I grinned and shrugged, the lion pounded its chest in frustration and then sighed deeply.

“Well, Hedel owes me one. If I explain it well later, it’ll be fine.”

“Of course, the benevolent Goddess will forgive everything.”

Nodding without hesitation, I extended my hand to the lion.

“Now, let’s work together.”

The lion, looking at me with a resigned expression, reluctantly took my hand.

It was the moment our relationship was officially established.

“But how many cookies will you give me? Of course, you’ll be providing them more than once a day, right?”

“…”

It was the formation of a truly petty scam, based on a few cookies.