I'm Forever on Hold (BL)

Semiel walked home in silence, walking like a zombie, his mind feeling like it was shrouded in a thick fog. He had arrived early, but he didn't feel relieved by it. His mind was still stuck on the conversation with Saval, on the questions he couldn't answer, on the guilt that wouldn't let him breathe.

But that wasn't the only guilt he carried.

He stood in the living room, staring at the door of his father's room. Days had passed since their argument, since he had called him useless in a moment of frustration. Since then, they had barely spoken beyond what was necessary. And Semiel knew that, even if his father didn't show it, those words had hurt him.

Taking a deep breath, his heart pounding, he knocked on the door.

—Come in —his father's weary voice answered.

Semiel stepped inside and found him hunched over his desk, scanning some papers. He looked tired—more than usual. Semiel clenched his fists, feeling the weight of his guilt pressing harder against his chest.

—Dad —he began, his throat dry—. I… I want to apologize for what I said the other day.

His father lifted his gaze, surprised. He didn't reply immediately, which only made Semiel more nervous.

—I shouldn't have called you that —he continued before fear could stop him—. I was angry, but that's no excuse. You're not useless. You never have been.

His father sighed and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms.

—I know you were upset, Semiel —he said calmly—. But that doesn't mean your words didn't hurt. I try my best, even if it doesn't always seem like it.

The knot in Semiel's throat tightened. He nodded, shame sinking deep into his bones.

—I know. And I really am sorry.

His father studied him for a long moment before giving a small nod.

—Alright. But try to think before you speak next time, okay?

Semiel let out a shaky sigh and nodded again. His father patted him on the shoulder before returning to his papers, as if the conversation hadn't been as important as it was to Semiel. But to him, it had been. It had been very important.

Before leaving the room, Semiel stood in the doorway, hesitating whether to say what he thought. Then, with an effort that almost cost him the words, he added:

—I know I don't say it much, but... I respect you, dad. And I appreciate what you do for me.

His father looked up again, visibly surprised. A small smile appeared on his face, almost imperceptible, but real.

—Thanks, brat.

Semiel let out a shaky breath and nodded again. His father patted his shoulder before turning back to his papers, as if the conversation hadn't meant much. But to Semiel, it had. A lot.

The weight of that guilt lifted just a little. But the relief was short-lived. Because there was another burden, a much darker one, that he couldn't escape.

The next day, Semiel arrived at the university with the same tight knot in his stomach. Saval hadn't brought up Antonella again, but the suspicion in his eyes hadn't faded. And that made Semiel nervous.

But something made him even more uneasy.

Santiago.

They had barely spoken before, just a few words in class. But that day, as Semiel walked through the hallways, he noticed Santiago watching him. Not with casual curiosity, but with the intensity of someone who knew something.

Semiel tried to ignore it, convincing himself he was imagining things. But during their next class, he noticed Santiago sitting a few rows behind him, his gaze never straying.

A cold sweat ran down Semiel's back.

When the class ended, he rushed to leave, but as soon as he turned the corner, a hand gripped his shoulder. He spun around, coming face-to-face with Santiago's serious expression.

—We need to talk —Santiago said in a low voice.

Semiel swallowed hard. His first instinct was to deny it, to walk away. But the intensity in Santiago's eyes made him hesitate.

—About what? —he asked, though he already knew the answer.

Santiago glanced around before responding.

—Antonella.

Semiel felt his stomach drop. His throat went dry, and suddenly, the world around him felt much smaller.

—I don't know what you're talking about —he muttered, taking a step back.

—Yes, you do —Santiago countered firmly—. I saw what happened the other day. When she took you behind the building after class.

Semiel's breath hitched. He had thought no one saw. That no one knew.

—It's not what you think —he tried to say, but his voice shook.

Santiago ran a hand through his hair, sighing.

—I'm not stupid, Semiel. I know what Antonella does. And I know you're not the first.

Semiel's eyes widened.

What do you mean this isn't the first time?

—What do you mean?

Santiago hesitated, as if choosing his words carefully.

—I mean she's done this before —he finally said—. You're not the first person she's trapped. But if you don't speak up, if you don't do something, you're going to end up worse than the others.

Santiago's words hit like a punch. Semiel didn't want to hear more. He didn't want to think about who the others were. He just wanted to get away, to pretend this conversation had never happened.

—I can't talk about this —he whispered. Before Santiago could respond, he turned and walked away.

—Listen to me, Semiel. I'm not saying this to meddle in your life. But I know what Antonella is like. I've seen what she does. And if you keep going down this path, she's going to destroy you.

Semiel looked away, his mind tangled between fear and confusion. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to accept that he was trapped. But Santiago's words carried a weight he couldn't ignore.

—Just… be careful —Santiago said, letting go of him—. If you ever decide to talk, I'll be here.

Semiel didn't respond. He just walked away, his heart pounding, the feeling creeping in that his secret was getting dangerously close to being exposed.

And worst of all… was there any way out of this?