I’m a Villainess, Can I Die?

The position of my exclusive maid (or servant), left vacant due to Aiden’s not-quite-a-promotion, was taken by Jane. Among the servants, Jane was the next most comfortable presence after Aiden, so I personally appointed her.
“Young Lady!”
As soon as Jane officially became my exclusive maid, she immediately leaped into my arms with her usual brazenness.

I hadn’t encountered anyone this enthusiastic since Vivian. Hm, now that I think about it… Their personalities seem somewhat similar.
Today marked a week since Jane became my exclusive maid. I was lounging leisurely in bed while Jane pulled back the curtains and opened the windows. She swung the large windows open with ease, then wiped away the sweat that had formed on my forehead.
Over the past week, I realized something—Jane was a much better maid than I had expected.

At first, I chose her simply because she was the next most familiar after Aiden… but I worried that she might be too talkative and clumsy, given how energetic she was. Kind of like our social butterfly and boundless enthusiasm incarnate, Vivian.
But unexpectedly, Jane wasn’t excessively talkative. No, rather than saying she wasn’t talkative, it was more accurate to say she knew when to speak and when to stay silent. I had assumed she was just a cheerful, lively girl, but she was far more perceptive and mature than I had thought.
“Jane, there’s nothing in particular to do today, right?”

“Yes, Young Lady.”
After opening all the windows in the room, Jane sat down in the chair beside my bed. A soft sigh followed… It made me feel a little guilty, as if I was dumping all the work on someone younger than me while I just relaxed.
But what could I do? Whenever I tried to help, she would be so flustered that it only made things worse.

“Ah, how peaceful.”
At my murmuring, Jane smiled faintly. A cool breeze flowed in through the open windows. Though the summers here were hot, the frequent dry, refreshing winds kept the air from becoming unpleasantly humid. I couldn’t be more grateful.
A summer without air conditioning or electric fans would be nothing short of a nightmare.

Saying that makes me sound like some pampered child. As I took in the lush greenery outside the window, I slowly closed my eyes. From the distance, I imagined I could hear the sound of cicadas.
Yes, the cicadas had been loud that day, too.
One summer day, the fan and air conditioner in Eunji’s hospital room both broke down. Of all days, it had to be during one of the worst heat waves in history, making everyone in the ward irritable.

The worst part was Eunji’s condition. Her stamina always declined in the summer, leaving her bedridden most of the time. Forget about walks—eating was a struggle for her.
And now, on top of that, the air conditioning was out.
Eunji’s body was soaked in sweat, and rashes broke out all over her skin. For two full days, until the air conditioner was repaired, I couldn’t sleep at all—I had to constantly wipe her down.
Just as Eunji was drenched in sweat, so was I, endlessly changing water, wringing out towels, and wiping her down again and again. But Eunji continued to whimper, my parents continued to scold me, and I continued washing the towels in silence.

My parents had it easy. While I, the family’s punching bag, scrubbed their beloved child clean, they simply stood behind me, sighing, “My poor daughter…” or something along those lines.
Really, it was like making the bear dance while the master reaped the rewards.
Only when the cool breeze brushed against my cheek did I snap out of the memories.

Recalling Eunji’s whining face, I suddenly thought—no matter how much she was my sister, no matter that she had died first… I should have smacked her back the last time we met.
“Young Lady, are you feeling hot?”
But the thought was fleeting. I remembered that teary, foolish face of hers, crying her heart out while begging me to live happily. How could I have possibly hit that child?

Even if we met again, I knew I wouldn’t be able to lay a finger on her.
“No, it’s cool.”
And with that thought, the only thing left in my mind was how pleasant the breeze felt.

“What are you making?”
After finishing lunch, I naturally climbed back into bed. Jane, too, naturally sat beside me in the chair.
But she wasn’t empty-handed. She held a piece of fabric, ⊛ Nоvеlιght ⊛ (Read the full story) seemingly working on something.

“This? A doll.”
“A doll?”
I had never watched someone make a doll from scratch before. Jane smiled and moved her hands deftly, as if she were doing something completely familiar.

Cutting the fabric, stitching, positioning the pieces, stuffing it with cotton—I found myself surprisingly entertained by the process.
Then again, in this world, there wasn’t much else to do.
Jane, too, seemed to enjoy making the doll. She kept smiling as she worked. With a final snip, she cut the last thread, and a perfect teddy bear was born.

“Wow.”
The admiration slipped out before I could stop it. The light blue teddy bear was so well-made that it looked like it could be sold.
As I stared at the finished bear in fascination, Jane suddenly stretched out her hand—more precisely, she extended the teddy bear toward me.

“…What?”
“It’s a gift for you, Young Lady.”
The teddy bear, now being held out to me, had a cheerful, smiling face. This… was my gift?

“For me?”
“Yes. Ah, maybe my homemade teddy bears aren’t really to your liking…?”
Jane hesitated, glancing at me nervously, and began pulling her hand back.

Without thinking, I instinctively reached out and grabbed her wrist.
Even I was a little startled by how spontaneous my reaction was.
Jane blinked at me in surprise.

“No, it’s not that… I’m just a little taken aback. Thank you.”
As I pulled the teddy bear into my arms, Jane, who had been staring wide-eyed in surprise, suddenly broke into a bright smile. Her smiling face looked… endearing.
Feeling a little awkward under her gaze, I lowered my head and fiddled with the teddy bear. How long had it been since I last received a gift like this?

Ever since Eunji was born, I hadn’t received a proper present. And after becoming Selina, I was far past the age where anyone would give me a teddy bear.
But before Eunji was born—when I was first adopted—I used to receive teddy bears quite often.
It was just a stuffed animal, and yet, back then, my childhood self had grinned so wide that my face could have split.

Maybe because teddy bears had been a frequent part of those fleeting moments of happiness, receiving one again after so long made it feel like a symbol of happiness itself.
Maybe that was why I had instinctively reached out so hurriedly to grab it.
Had I become obsessed with happiness without realizing it—just because Eunji told me to live happily?

I lightly tapped the tip of the teddy bear’s nose. It continued to smile at me.
“Thank you, Jane.”
Jane soon started making a second teddy bear. She said this one would be for her younger sibling.

I placed the teddy bear she had given me carefully beside me and watched her work again.
At some point, I thought—since I’d be living here for another four years, shouldn’t I find a hobby?
A hobby. That word felt strangely excessive.

Lazing around was my hobby and specialty, after all. But I couldn’t just lie around forever.
Staring blankly at the ceiling all day was harder than one might think.
“Jane, do you think I could do that too?”

When I asked, Jane lifted her head and looked at me. She blinked a few times as if considering it, then nodded enthusiastically.
“Of course, Young Lady!”
They say effort never betrays you.

But sometimes, effort betrays you in the most spectacular way.
This translation is the intellectual property of .
I had tried my best, and yet… Jane was crying.

Was it really that bad?
I had followed her instructions and done my utmost to make a doll. I had used up about two days’ worth of energy, to the point where I would probably have to spend all of tomorrow in bed. At first, Jane had been beaming with excitement, but as I completed each part—the arms, the legs, the body, and finally, the face—her expression had darkened.
Now, her face had completely lost its color, and she was staring at my creation with despair.

Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes.
“Is it really that bad?”
When I asked, Jane didn’t answer. She just shook her head wildly.

From my perspective, it looked fine.
Since I had made a doll, I figured I might as well give it as a gift.
Mother. Yes, I’d give it to Mother.

I took the doll I had made and got up from my seat. I told Jane—who was still on the verge of tears—not to follow me, then left the room alone.
Mother’s room was one floor above mine, so I walked up the spiral staircase.
It had been a long time since I last visited my parents’ room. The last time had been on the day of my engagement ceremony. Hopefully, she was in her room now.

I hesitated for a moment in front of the door.
Knock, knock.
“It’s Selina.”

I knocked lightly and announced myself in a small voice. Not long after, the door swung open.
“Selina!”
As always, Mother greeted me with a radiant expression—one of pure joy and overwhelming emotion. I nodded slightly in response. She pulled me into the room.

After seating me on the sofa, she effortlessly poured tea from a pot into a cup. It seemed she had been drinking tea alone.
But why were there two teacups?
I tilted my head in curiosity as I examined them.

“I always prepare two cups, just in case someone visits. Thanks to that, today will be another delightful tea time.”
Her gentle voice flowed like a melody.
I see. So that’s why there were two cups.

I took a sip of tea. The warmth and slight sweetness were just right.
“So, Selina, what brings you here?”
As I savored the tea, I suddenly remembered the doll I had placed beside me. I swallowed the last sip and set the cup down. Mother watched me with her usual affectionate smile.

Oh. Now I was getting nervous.
Lifting the doll, I opened my mouth to speak.
“Well, I wanted to give you a—”

“Oh my goodness!”
Before I could even finish my sentence, Mother let out a gasp. No—it was a lament. A full-fledged lamentation. The kind you’d hear in an exorcism show when a shaman stepped into a haunted house and saw something unspeakable.
“You received that as a gift? Who on earth…?”

“…Jane made the doll…”
“My word! Jane? I never expected this from her… How could she give you something that looks like a cursed doll?! Don’t worry, Selina! I’ll take care of everything.”
I blinked as I watched my mother fume, her breath hitching in outrage.

…Wait.
Was it that bad?
Bad enough that she wanted to summon Jane immediately for questioning?

Then if I gave this to her as a gift, would she scold me instead?
I really didn’t want to be scolded at my age.
While I was lost in thought, Mother continued seething. Before she could actually act on her anger, I decided it was best to clear up the misunderstanding.

I slowly shook my head, and Mother—who had been so worked up that she was practically bouncing in her seat—looked at me in confusion.
“I made this,” I said. “Jane taught me how to sew. It’s my first time making a doll, so I wanted to give it to you… And just to be clear, it’s not a cursed doll.”