I Gave Myself to the System

December 25, Aera, 21 Years Old

"Excuse me? Could you move aside?" A middle-aged woman asked from behind, her voice breaking the stillness around me.

Startled, I blinked, stepping aside hastily. "Sorry," I murmured, bowing apologetically.

How long have I been standing here? Ten minutes? Twenty? 

My hand reached into the pocket of my overcoat and pulled out my phone. 1:00 a.m. It had been exactly 55 minutes since Jinwoo left me. I closed my eyes as if to escape reality, but instead, the memory of those painful seconds flashed before me again.

"Go wherever the hell you want. I don't even care," Jinwoo's words cut deep, cold and sharp like the winter night.

"Jinwoo, why are you acting like this all of a sudden? Let's just go—" I pleaded, reaching out for him, but his gaze pierced through me.

"You're nothing but a burden, Aera. Don't you see it? Stop clinging to me. I'll do whatever I want. So just leave." 

This wasn't the first time. He had been distant before, cold before, cruel before. Yet, I always believed it would pass. That he'd apologise tomorrow, like he always did. But this time was different. A car pulled up in front of us, and out stepped a girl—a girl I had never seen before. She glanced at me briefly, a smirk forming on her lips before she threw her arms around Jinwoo. "Baby, I've been calling you for hours. Why didn't you pick it up?" she cooed.

I watched in disbelief as Jinwoo, my Jinwoo, kissed her. Right there in front of me, without a hint of remorse. 

Yes. He cheated. And deep down, I knew. I had always known. He would flirt with girls, brushing it off as a joke, telling me it was harmless. I had trusted him. My friends warned me, said it was odd, but I convinced myself it was just Jinwoo being Jinwoo. 

"Don't worry, he's just being funny," I'd say. Funny. Sweet. That was Jinwoo. The Jinwoo who always had a charm that made me fall for him all over again, despite everything.

But as they kissed, something broke inside me. The love of my life was gone, lost in the arms of another. The boy who had been by my side since middle school, the one who held me when my mom died, the one who convinced my father to let me stay in Korea when he wanted me to move to the U.S. for school. Then we started dating in freshman year at college. 

Was it all a lie? A carefully crafted act?

"Aera," Jinwoo's voice called from behind as I turned to leave. "Listen to me one last time."

But I couldn't. I couldn't look at him. Not after this.

"You're so pathetic. You really thought I loved someone as foolish as you?" he sneered, his words laced with disdain. "You're just a pretty face with your dad's money. You never gave me what I wanted. I thought if I treated you like this, you'd eventually leave. But look at you—loyal like a dog. Well, it's over. Even if we have to see each other at university, pretend we don't know each other. Goodbye."

And just like that, he drove away. My world, my heart—shattered into pieces I couldn't even begin to pick up.

I stood there, frozen, unable to move, unable to speak. The street was eerily silent, except for the distant hum of traffic. It was Christmas Eve, and the festive lights seemed dim, dull, mocking my pain. I hadn't even crossed the street yet. I needed to get home, but my legs wouldn't want to move. 

I started walking. My mind was spinning, my chest heavy with a weight I couldn't bear.

Suddenly, I saw it—a light, bright and fast. A car. No, a truck behind it. Why hadn't I noticed it before? The car veered sharply to the left, skidding, and in an instant, it plunged into the river.

& Then….

The truck came right at me…..

All black…..

. . .

Where am I? Everything around me is so beautiful, too beautiful. I see my mother—standing there, smiling at me like she always did. Is this a dream? It's been so long since I've seen her, felt her presence.

"Mom? Where are we?" I ask, my voice trembling, but she doesn't answer. She just smiles, her eyes warm and full of love. A boy stands behind her, his face blurred by the blinding light.

"Mom, who is that?" I ask, but she only steps closer, her smile never fading.

"Aera, tell me something," she says softly.

"Yes, Mom?" My heart aches, yearning for her touch.

"If you could go back, would you change anything?" Her question hangs in the air, heavy and unsettling.

"Mom, what are you talking about? I don't understand," I reply, confusion twisting inside me.

"Aera," she whispers, her voice gentle, "I want you to be happy. I want you to remember that I'm always watching over you."

She pulls me into her embrace, and it feels so real, so comforting. I hold on to her tightly, not wanting to let go. It's been so long since I've felt this safe.

But the boy—he's still watching me. His face is still hidden, now too far away to see clearly.

"Mom, where are we?" I ask again, but her grip loosens.

"This is my home. But now, you have to go back to yours, Aera. You can't be late for your first day."

"First day? What do you mean?" Panic surges through me, but before I can ask anything else, a bright light fills my vision, and she's gone.

Was it all a dream? I woke up, the sensation of her hug was still on my skin. It felt too real. Too real.

But—

How am I alive?

I got goosebumps all over my body, remembering what happened last night. A message buzzed in, I reached for the phone, when my eyes fell on my calendar on the desk.

March 01. But the year—

WHAT!!

I opened my phone and saw the date again— March 01.

But TWO YEARS BACK in time.

This can't be happening!

Am I going mad or something!