I Can Hear the Saint’s Inner Thoughts

90 – Running Away Just Means You’ll Have to Face It Eventually (1)

Due to the backlash from using Idea, I was confined to bed for a while.

Frankly, it was a miracle I was alive.

If it weren’t for Forsaken Hollow’s characteristic of not being able to die, I would have definitely kicked the bucket from that impact.

“Here, aah─. Open wide.”

“I can move my right hand at least now, Victoria.”

Victoria had been taking care of me with utmost devotion for almost a week. She helped with everything from eating to the embarrassing task of going to the bathroom, saying it was all okay.

Hearing her say that it didn’t matter since I was the person she loved, I couldn’t help but feel grateful again that Victoria truly liked me.

Even if they were my companions, it would have been difficult to show such a sight to Kyle or Tarion.

“Isn’t it about time I ate by myself?”

I spoke to Victoria, who was still feeding me directly. Even so, I felt bad about constantly receiving her help.

Besides, Victoria had no talent for cooking.

Seeing her make these dishes crammed with every good thing imaginable, all to help me recover faster, my sweet-talking was reaching its breaking point.

It was time to tell the truth, little by little.

That it’d be better to buy food or for me to cook it myself.

“Absolutely not. Didn’t you almost seriously injure yourself trying to use magic to go to the bathroom last time?”

But Victoria, without budging an inch, was holding the spoon out to me, gesturing for me to open my mouth.

As Victoria said, I had tried to sneak off to the bathroom alone to relieve myself, and almost fell out of bed.

“That’s… even if it’s you, it’s embarrassing.”

Even though we’d become lovers, constantly showing someone your important bits was mortifying.

“…Even though you’ve already had intimate physical encounters with me, naked? How… peculiar.”

“That was unavoidable to remove the flowers on my body. That’s different than now.”

“So what? If we end up defeating the Demon King, isn’t it a body part I might see every day? Of course, I, as the Saintess, should keep that hard, thick weapon safe.”

Victoria, looking at me with a lewd gaze, was spouting indecent jokes without hesitation.

She even went as far as putting her hand on her lower abdomen, recreating the length and thickness she had seen back then.

What on earth made her this strange?

When I thought about it, the reason might lie with me.

Maybe because I could hear Victoria’s inner thoughts, but ignored her feelings, she changed so drastically.

“…You’ve gotten good at dirty talk?”

“You only react when I do things like this. That’s why I made a heart-shaped hole in the chest of my Saintess robe.”

I covered my burning face with my right hand, offering a timid retort, but Victoria only widened the hole in her clothes with her finger, seducing me.

And being unable to hide her reddening ears, sticking her tongue out a little, pretending to be nonchalant, it was all just too damn cute.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight.

“Alright. I’ll eat my food properly, so quit messing around. I’m already sensitive to stimulation from being stuck in bed so long.”

Unlike before, I directly expressed my feelings to Victoria.

To be honest, I was horny.

It would be strange not to react when a woman as beautiful and kind-hearted as Victoria keeps rubbing against me and telling lewd stories.

“…When you say stimulation, are you referring to these dirty talks, or the s*xual physical contact?”

“Both. Honestly, the blood is rushing down there, and it’s painful… I wouldn’t care if it was someone else… but strangely, I can’t stand it if it’s you.”

The truth is, even against Belmora, the succubus queen, I never succumbed to lust or fell for seduction.

No matter how beautiful or s*xually suggestive a being with a body that was trying to seduce me, my body wouldn’t properly react unless it was Victoria.

Was it because she saved me from a life crushed by guilt?

Or was it because she has now become the person I love?

It was a problem that even my head, which always searched for rational reasons and principles, couldn’t solve. Because love, originally, has no answer.

“…I see.”

It was then.

Victoria was covering her face with her hand, unable to meet my eyes, looking embarrassed.

Her reaction was different than usual.

Usually, she would tell me she was getting turned on, or call me a pervert and denounce me.

“I, I’m sorry if I’ve caused you distress. I still don’t know much about the male body…”

Victoria was apologizing to me right now.

She didn’t dare call the Saintess a horny monkey, or slander her as a pervert, and provoke me.

– I didn’t know…you were always pushing me away, or drawing a line to keep your distance…

Being able to hear Victoria’s inner thoughts, I knew what she was thinking when she kept teasing me.

After I rejected Victoria’s confession, she struggled because she didn’t want to be rejected again or even lose our friendship.

– If I kept making dirty jokes or having physical contact… I thought I’d get another chance someday, but maybe I was being too greedy? Well, you almost died because of me…

I gently stroked Victoria’s head, smiling to show her it was okay.

“Victoria, it’s not your fault. It’s a problem because I didn’t want to accept your feelings.”

It was too late to say sorry now, after I’d already inflicted such a deep wound. This is something I should talk about after I’m fully recovered.

“…….”

Victoria, perhaps because she felt awkward that I was showing this kind of emotion for the first time, just silently accepted my stroking her head.

“Astal, how’s your body? Victoria was so worried, I just wanted to check on you…”

Click─!

At that moment, the tightly closed door opened and familiar faces began to appear.

“I, I didn’t see anything…!!”

“Oh, was this a bad time? Sorry to interrupt.”

“So you two are really dating. Honestly, I wasn’t completely convinced.”

Kyle, the hero with red hair.

Anima, the spirit mage with brown hair and bear ears.

Tarion, the archer with elf ears and green hair.

My companions, who had traveled with me until now, had intruded into the inn room where Victoria and I were staying, risking being rude.

“Nah, it’s alright. This kind of thing can wait. Right, Victoria?”

“Y-yes…”

I gave Victoria a wink, telling her I’d pat her head later, and she, as if surprised by these words, was biting her tongue as she answered.

“So, why did you guys suddenly come to see me?”

I stopped my colleagues from awkwardly smiling and trying to close the door again.

They must have a reason to visit me on a day like this, when I’m in so much pain.

They probably came because they were worried about my condition, but there were still a lot of unresolved issues.

There were still two of the Four Heavenly Kings left, and Idea’s reinforcement was needed to subjugate the Demon King.

“Of course we came because we were worried about you…! Oh, actually, there’s also something we need to talk about regarding the corrupted holy sword…”

“I think it’s better for Kyle to use it. If it’s the Hero’s Holy Sword, I think it can wound the Demon King.”

Anima, the spirit mage, scratched her neck while talking about the holy sword where Durahan was sealed.

In order to subjugate the Demon King Ergosum, we couldn’t afford to be picky about methods, so honestly, I thought it would be best if Kyle, the hero, used it.

“Well, when I grab the holy sword, I hear the voices of the people who died to Durahan, you see.”

Kyle was speaking with a serious expression.

If the vengeful spirits dwelling in the holy sword were the problem, Victoria’s divine magic could be used to purify them.

But Kyle wasn’t bothering with that method.

It was awkward somehow, as if it wasn’t just to give Durahan more pain.

“Among them, it seems there are your parents and people from your hometown, Astar. I heard voices calling your name, looking for you.”

“What? Is that really true…?”

Hearing the words that came out of Kyle’s mouth, my eyes couldn’t help but widen. I thought I’d never see them again, I thought I’d never be forgiven.

Because maybe, just maybe, she still longed for me.

“It’s not certain. The Dullahan might be faking it, trying to escape the holy sword, or even if she really is someone you know, she might not have any reason left.”

“…….”

“She might resent you, Astar, or curse you. Do you… do you want to talk to her?”

Hero Kyle was being more careful than ever. He knew better than anyone that spilled water and the past couldn’t be undone.

That sometimes, the actions you thought were best led to the worst results.

“Astar-nim, let’s try to talk to her.”

Then, a warm touch took my hand.

“Victoria….”

“Besides, I still haven’t properly greeted your parents yet, right? If we’re lovers, that’s something we should definitely do, isn’t it?”

Victoria still hadn’t received a proper answer to her confession, not yet free from her role as a fake lover.

Yeah, if it’s a past I have to face someday, at least I should face it with someone I like.

“…Bring the holy sword, Kyle. I won’t run away anymore.”

I nodded towards Kyle and told him to bring the holy sword where the Dullahan was sealed.