LGHTNOVELBOOK Chapter 24
Translator: FenrirTL
Editor: Saphartlantis
========================
< Chapter 24: Otherworldly Auction Gallery >
Moderator
Title : Ring Won’t Come Off My Finger
What do I do?
ㄴCut it off lol
ㄴYou can live without one finger lol
ㄴAh lol
ㄴBut why did you put on the ring?
ㄴDidn’t you just try on the dwarf ring you got this time?
ㄴFor real lol
ㄴWhat if that ring has a tracking spell on it and you put it on right away?
ㄴModerator : Ah.
ㄴlololol
ㄴQuickly cut off the finger
ㄴIf you cut it off quickly, it won’t hurt for real
ㄴCut it off and stop the bleeding immediately ㄱㄱ
ㄴCover the finger and snap it off when they don’t know, isn’t that a good idea?
ㄴWTF lol what’s this lol
ㄴThis isn’t even magic, what is it lol
ㄴDon’t open your mouth anywhere lol
ㄴPlease hold your breath for 5 minutes lol
ㄴTry using oil or something slippery
ㄴModerator : Tried cooking oil, didn’t work
ㄴIsn’t there a neighbor lady?
ㄴWhy the neighbor lady, you crazy lol
ㄴNeighbor lady is smooth and slippery
ㄴWhy are you trying to ruin someone else’s family lol
ㄴModerator : Tried everything you said, still doesn’t work
ㄴWhat about the lady?
ㄴModerator : Shouldn’t you ask if there’s even a neighbor first?
ㄴAh lol
ㄴOh right lol
ㄴLooking at your house, probably no neighbor lol
ㄴThen let’s give up lol
ㄴIt’s fine even if you lose one finger ㅇㅇ
ㄴSurprisingly, being alone with one finger missing feels different and good
ㄴUnique experience lol
ㄴHow positive is this guy lol
ㄴIf you cut off a finger, doesn’t it grow back?
ㄴWhat’s with this guy lol
ㄴWhy does your finger grow back? lol
ㄴDon’t yours?
ㄴLizard gay lol
Cutting off the finger or not. That is the question.
If Solomon were here, he would’ve commanded to cut it off, but I didn’t have such resolve.
“Ah, it really won’t come off.”
Instead of struggling to remove the immovable ring, I decided it was easier to live with it.
“Screw it. Let’s just live together forever.”
Since we were going to be together anyway, it needed a name.
I lightly named the ring.
“Your name is now the One Ring.”
As I got used to having the ring stuck on my finger, the admin chat blinked.
【Gallery Admin Chat】
─Plant Druid : How did your finger end up like that,,
─Moderator : Just put it on and it wouldn’t come off
─Plant Druid : Hmm. It’s under a spell,,, it can be resolved with magic.
─Moderator : For real?
─Plant Druid : You need to temporarily remove the finger and reattach it…
─Moderator : ?
Can this even be called a solution?
Temporarily remove and reattach the finger…?
I could feel the horror of the audience.
Or rather, I could totally smell their popcorn.
─Demon King-chan : lololol The greatest cyber psycho killer ever created by the World Tree lololololol
─Plant Druid : No, it’s not!!! And why do you say ‘greatest’ twice!!!
─Demon King-chan : It’s a term of reverence~~
─Plant Druid : Expect my reverence to rip off your finger first!!!!
In the end, the conclusion was that there was nothing that could be done about the ring.
Even the gallery moderators were of little help.
Well, what could be different with them?
Considering they spend all day in the gallery, they’re no ordinary folks.
Special trait of not-so-ordinary people: They aren’t helpful in real life.
Alright, last attempt, anything from the Hero?
─Hero : I can cut it off quickly…!
─Moderator : Nah, just leave it.
This one was equally unhelpful.
It seems they can’t think of anything other than cutting off the finger.
After reconsidering, there wasn’t really a reason to cut it off.
‘It’s not that inconvenient.’
If the blood circulation had been cut off, I’d have had to solve it by cutting it off, but that wasn’t the case.
Luckily.
As I returned to the gallery with relief, I saw a serious post that didn’t match the usual gallery atmosphere.
Title : -Analysis of Auction House Structure-
Moderator said they bought cola and soda at 10 times the price and resold them.
This could cause a momentary imbalance and disrupt the flow.
If the flow gets interrupted even once, it could become uncontrollable?
ㄴSo, is the auction house okay?
ㄴThe auction house is fine. The problem is the cola and soda, right?
ㄴCola? Cola? Cola? Cola? Cola? Cola? Cola?
ㄴIs cola out of stock again…?
ㄴUgh… my head…
ㄴI feel like… cola disappeared for a moment…
ㄴAh… everything is the same… Ah. Never mind…
ㄴIt seems more dangerous than I thought
ㄴSelling it at 10 times the price is like pissing in the wind?
“What the… it’s true.”
The post, which analyzed the situation with simple content, unexpectedly had insight.
『Gallery Admin Mode』
―Admin Level: 3
―Auction House Level: 2
―Points: 17599
In reality, the points were gradually decreasing.
It was only natural since the structure would deplete points if someone persistently bought cola and soda.
“Hmm….”
Should I limit the number of purchases per person? Or restrict the number of sales per day?
I considered various appropriate methods, but most seemed like temporary fixes.
“For now, let’s convert all the money I have into points.”
I bought something no one else would buy, like eraser crumbs, and set an individual fee.
99% fee.
Through circular trading, I converted my money into points.
“…But isn’t it still too little?”
Even after converting all the money into points, it still felt like it wouldn’t last long.
To prepare for any potential risks, I needed to accumulate points.
After a brief contemplation, I made a decision.
If the problem arises due to a lack of points, wouldn’t it be resolved by having an overwhelming amount of points?
Nodding while checking a new notification.
【The Auction House has leveled up!】
【Please select a new perk for the Auction House!】
“Gallery, you really pulled through.”
Right, it was about time to level up.
As I looked at the list of perks, an idea came to mind.
—
─WantToBangTheEmperor
Title : Moderator Honestly Does Nothing
Why do people worship him so much ㅇㅇ;;;
ㄴEmperor’s Royal Guard is here
ㄴThis fucker WantToBangTheEmperor is gay
ㄴIs the moderator your friend?
ㄴHey, watch your mouth about the moderator
“Your Majesty.”
“Yes… I see.”
The Emperor, Chris, who was writing a post in the gallery absentmindedly, lifted his head.
He had asked for an economist to be brought in. Didn’t expect it to be this quick.
Ahem. He cleared his throat and spoke.
“I have a question.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“What do you think of the gallery’s auction house?”
“Well….”
He pondered for a moment before giving his answer.
“It’s a very fragile structure.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes. If what the moderator says is true, it’s difficult to maintain and easy to collapse.”
“Collapse, you say?”
“In my opinion, it is already collapsing.”
After statistically calculating the scale of the auction house and the demand for cola and soda.
The conclusion was that the auction house could not be sustained.
In his view, the auction house’s cola sales were a business that could be terminated at any moment.
” And if our empire attacks this weak spot?”
“The auction house will collapse like a sandcastle. In a very short period.”
“Oh. In that case….”
The public opinion about the gallery’s moderator would deteriorate as well.
If the number of people who hate him increases, it is certain that the empire will have another chance.
‘If Moderator’s enemies increase, the empire benefits!’
When many enemies are created, the moderator would feel pressured in some way.
If he voluntarily steps down from his position, or someone takes him down….
The empire can return to its original dominance.
Once the moderator is dealt with, everything will return to normal!
Toppling the first domino.
That plan was the current strategy to tackle the auction house.
‘When people are given something and it’s suddenly taken away, they feel bad.’
If something is always absent, they don’t feel its absence, but giving and then taking it away makes them feel twice as empty.
As to disrupting the flow of the auction house and removing cola and soda?
The continent would be enraged!
‘I’ll make sure all their attention is focused on the auction house.’
His already messed-up sleep pattern would get even worse, and his body would break down.
The Moderator would eventually have to step down on their own.
The Emperor thought it was an evil plan.
A ruthless plan that even Satan, who disrupts people’s body rhythms, would be horrified by.
He moved.
“Proceed.”
This is the first step in the big picture.
At that moment, a new post was uploaded to the gallery.
─Moderator
Title : Breaking News: Gallery Bankruptcy
ㅇㅇ;
ㄴ?
ㄴWhat bankruptcy?
ㄴNo, what kind of bankruptcy is there in the gallery, damn lolololol
ㄴModerator : I mean the auction house bankruptcy?lolololol
ㄴAh. Damn lolololol
ㄴDoes that mean there’s no money to run the auction house?
ㄴBut can’t you run it without money?
ㄴYou can’t run a cola business without money.
ㄴ?
ㄴMy cola!!!!!!!!!!!!
ㄴNo, not the cola, not the cola, not the cola, not the cola
ㄴPlease save the soda!!!!!!!!
ㄴI’m buying cola in advance now lolololol
ㄴCola… is gone…?
ㄴShocked
ㄴIs life even worth living without cola…
ㄴI’m going to die now…
ㄴI wrote my will, when you open it later, I mentioned the Moderator’s name in it
ㄴWhat difference does it make if you write it?
ㄴI wrote it in red ink
ㄴGasp
ㄴDamn, that’s too much
ㄴWriting in red ink crossed the lineㅇㅇ;;;
ㄴWow;;;;
ㄴScary, so scary;;
“No need to get involved.”
The Emperor laughed as he read the gallery.
To think that the auction house would collapse without interference due to poor economic conditions!
He was delighted, thinking that the day had come when he could sleep soundly.
Until the new post was written.
─Moderator
Title : So we’re selling new items
Your attention please
ㄴWhat are you selling?
ㄴModerator : Selling rights to sell new items
ㄴ?
ㄴ??
ㄴDamn, what are you talking about lolololol
ㄴModerator : We’re going to release new items. We’ll auction off the rights to sell them.
ㄴ?
ㄴNo but, what kind of nonsense is this
ㄴSo… you’re selling the rights to sell items?
ㄴBut what’s the benefit of buying it?
ㄴModerator : You can choose the sales region
“What?”
The game changed.
* * *
Title : But is that good?
ㅇㅇ?
Sales rights by region?? Is that good?
ㄴWhat if cola is only sold in the West?
ㄴWhat if soda is only sold in the Empire?
ㄴOh damn lolololololol
ㄴI’m already dizzy lolololololol
ㄴWhat if they ban cola sales?
ㄴTariff ‘300 times’
ㄴKyaaahhh
ㄴThey might not sell it at all
ㄴ”Oh? Don’t like your diplomacy? Okay”
ㄴ”Cola ‘confiscated’”
ㄴKyaaahhh
ㄴOh well, just don’t drink cola lolololol
ㄴ(heavily drinking cola in the meantime)
ㄴHow did you know, too sharp
ㄴI’m watching while drinking too lolololol
—
Title : Gallery Prediction
??: “I traveled 2,000 miles to buy cola. Please sell it to me.”
??: “I smuggled in cola…”
Other items might turn out like this, with a 53,000% possibility (haha).
ㄴDamn XDXDXD
ㄴWhat if the item I like is on the other side of the continent????
ㄴThis is crazy lol
ㄴThe distance and tariffs are insane XDXDXD
ㄴBut this would make the bids really competitive
ㄴFrom what I’ve heard, it’s possible for an entire country to monopolize
ㄴNo, that’s a bit much (is it ? haha)
ㄴFrom importing countries to exporting countries lol
ㄴInstantly changing the game is wild
ㄴThe new items have been released!!!!!!!
─Moderator
Title : Item List ㅇㅇ
– Buldak Bokkeum Myun (Spicy Chicken Ramen)
– Mint Chocolate
– Truffle Combination Pizza
– Golden Fried Chicken
ㄴBul?dak? Bokkeum Myun? Heeeh ?
ㄴMint? Chocolate?
ㄴWhat’s with the random pizza
ㄴGolden? Fried Chicken??
ㄴDoes it contain real gold?
ㄴWhat kind of nonsense is this
ㄴMaybe it’s just a figure of speech…?
ㄴDamn, brought weird stuff again XDXDXD
ㄴ10 days later: “Damn, I have to go to a neighboring country to buy chicken”
ㄴDamn lolololololololol
ㄴ”Oh, I’ve already done all my gallery stuff, I need to go on ‘vacation’” XDXDXD
ㄴProphet Gay lol, turn off the gallery
─Moderator
Title : Oh, I forgot to mention the conditions
You can set the price as you wish ㅇㅇ
But here are the conditions:
1 year of sales rights
35% royalty on sold items
Slightly higher auction fee (65%)
That’s how it’s going to be
ㄴ?
ㄴSlightly higher…?
ㄴIsn’t it 1% right now?
ㄴSlightly higher fee (65 times)
ㄴThis is crazy XDXDXD
ㄴIsn’t this guy nuts lololol
ㄴIsn’t this outright robbery XDXDXD
ㄴHey lol, even robbers don’t take this much!!!!!!!!!!!
ㄴThey do take this much, though?
ㄴEh.
ㄴThey took everything but my underwear…
ㄴMy condolences.
ㄴDamn XDXDXD, survivor Gay…
ㄴStill, I was thankful they let me live…
ㄴSniff… Thank you, robber sensei…
ㄴI will never forget the grace of the robber ㅠㅠ
Title : This is to change your perspective, for real
No, why are the fees so high? X
Oh! You’re giving us money! Thank you! O
ㄴDamn lololol
ㄴAre you the gallery’s free lawyer? XDXDXD
ㄴDamn, how much did you change your perspective lolol
ㄴWere you supposed to change your formation too XDXDXD
ㄴThis guy is just on the red team lololo
Title : Then isn’t it going to be priced really high?
ㅇㅇ??
ㄴActually, high volume sales might be better…
ㄴWhat if pricing it too high tanks the sales?
ㄴBut you have to make back the sales rights cost, right?
ㄴSetting a reasonable price is harder than you think lololol
—
Title : But the conditions seem really tricky
Give up the sales rights?
Then another power will gobble them up.
Decide to bid?
The bid costs, plus a ’65 times’ fee.
Okay, are you going to give up?
If you lose the sales rights, it becomes that country’s specialty product lol.
The number of trade caravans or travelers will increase ^ ^.
ㄴWow, this isn’t easy
ㄴWhat are we supposed to do about this?
ㄴWhy does the Moderator always bring weird stuff like this?
ㄴThis guy is just the god of auction house operationsXDXDXD
ㄴ”The auction house collapses? Never!!!!!! Not a chance!!!!!!!!!!!!” XDXDXD
ㄴBTW this will restore the ruined continental trade
ㄴFor real?
ㄴOh, it is for real
ㄴBecause it becomes the export item of that region…
Title : There’s a simple way to counter this
If the new item is some trash, then it’s over
ㄴThe first item the Moderator brought was cola, right?
ㄴOh, then that won’t work
ㄴWhy are you giving up so quickly lolol
ㄴAt least put up some resistance hahaha
ㄴWhy does your thinking change so fast, you jerk XDXDXD
ㄴIf four cola-level items are released? You can’t stop this; ㅇㅇ;;;
ㄴI just hope they bid in our region
ㄴEven if I put up my entire fortune, I wouldn’t win the bid
ㄴI have 2 gold, is that enough?
ㄴNo way, you jerk XDXDXD
ㄴI have 5 silver
ㄴGo to the mines and dig up some money lololol
ㄴFor real XDXDXD
─Moderator
Title : Test sale in 10 minutes ㄱㄱ
I’ll sell a thousand units each, try them out
Serious bidding auction starts tomorrow ㄱ
“Hmph.”
The Emperor scoffed.
Did he really think the bankruptcy fate of the auction house would change with just this?
The world is not a novel! It doesn’t change that easily! (Editor Note : Actually it is, so you’re screwed ^ ^)
The Emperor waited, staring endlessly at the 10-minute hourglass.
Finally, the awaited 10 minutes!
With skillful manipulation, he quickly purchased the new items from the auction house.
The first item he took out was Buldak Bokkeum Myun.
It was suspiciously thin and wrapped in a transparent cloth.
“Buldak Bokkeum Myun.”
What kind of food is this?
He couldn’t understand, but he slowly read the instructions on the packaging.
“Pour hot water and drain it once the noodles are cooked?”
Thinking it was a special cooking method, he followed the instructions.
Using magic, he created hot water and poured it in. Once the noodles were cooked, he drained the water.
Finally, he added the sauce, and the dish was complete!
The spicy smell tickled his nose, but a real man doesn’t back down from such things! (EN : My condolences.)
As soon as the Emperor took a bite, his eyes widened.
“Ahhh…!”
What kind of spiciness is this?
The Moderator has spread poison in the world!
“Ersha! Bring water!”
“Yes. Here it is.”
“Ugh…!”
—
Gulping down the water, tears welled up in his eyes.
He drank so much water that the excess flowed out from his eyes as tears.
While he was writhing in pain, Knight Commander Ersha gazed at the leftover Buldak Bokkeum Myun with gleaming eyes.
“Do you want to eat it?”
“Yes.”
“Alright. Try it!”
He permitted her with a slightly twisted and sinister heart.
What would happen if Ersha, who never showed her emotions since childhood, ate something this spicy?
The Emperor’s direct Knight Commander, fidgeting and squirming!
He laughed inwardly at the thought of such a scene.
Unaware of the Emperor’s sinister thoughts, Ersha picked up a fork.
She twirled the bright red noodles around the fork and brought it to her small mouth.
Chew chew.
Ersha quietly murmured while savoring the taste.
“Delicious.”
“?”
“May I have more?”
“Uh… Sure. Go ahead.”
Her lips turned red from the spiciness, but Ersha didn’t mind and finished all the Buldak Bokkeum Myun.
“It was delicious.”
“Well… as long as it was tasty.”
Is she even human? To eat something that spicy and look more serene than usual.
The Emperor was startled as he took out the next food item.
“So this is what’s called pizza.”
“Slurp.”
“?”
Did I just hear something? Maybe I misheard.
Convinced it was a mistake, he picked up a slice of pizza.
Could it be the fragrant smell of the cheese-filled pizza?
Ersha’s eyes seemed to sparkle a little more than usual.
“Uh… you may have a bite.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty.”
Ersha and Chris both bowed and simultaneously took a bite of the pizza.
“This taste…”
The crispy dough, tomato sauce, meat, truffle mushrooms, and the harmony of cheese.
How could such food exist?
Wasn’t truffle mushroom an incredibly expensive ingredient?
Marveling at the refined culture of those strange culinary import, he ate a slice, and before he knew it, four slices were gone.
“?”
Where did the other two slices go in such a short time?
As his gaze shifted to Ersha, she shamelessly replied without changing her expression.
“I was checking for poison in the food.”
“…Is that so?”
“Yes. Just in case.”
Really ? Well, it is common to check for poison regularly.
He finished off the last remaining slice.
Next was the purchased chicken.
“Chicken.”
He had eaten charcoal-grilled chicken countless times.
But golden fried chicken? What on earth could this be?
Receiving the chicken, the Emperor’s eyes widened.
The savory smell…! The mouth-watering aroma nearly made him lose his composure.
“Gulp.”
“Ersha?”
“…? Yes, Your Majesty?”
“Um… It’s nothing.”
—
The Emperor shook his head at her unchanging expression.
He kept hearing strange noises. Maybe he was just tired lately.
Gathering his thoughts, he focused on the chicken.
‘The smell… it’s just ordinary.’
It’s similar to the food served in the palace.
Just ordinary food, no different from the countless dishes he had eaten before.
He opened the white paper wrapping and gulped.
The chicken, with a golden, beautiful color, was a fried dish. It was magnificent.
‘No…!’
He reminded himself forcefully that he had eaten countless fried dishes before.
The Emperor lightly grasped the drumstick.
Fried is fried, what could be different?
Crunch.
As the savory flavor of the oil and concentrated taste spread in his mouth, the Emperor’s eyes widened from the enlightenment.
“My goodness.”
To think such food can exist in this world.
The astonished Emperor gritted his teeth.
No matter what, this golden fried chicken must be secured!
The combination with cola would be perfect.
This is something that must be purchased!
‘Yes.’
With the Empire’s economic power, it can surely be bought.
This must be secured at all costs!
“Ersha, you should try one too.”
“Gulp… Yes. I’ll check for poison.”
“How is it? Is it good?”
“It’s excellent.”
But why is it almost gone already?
Did he space out for a moment? He didn’t notice a few pieces of chicken disappearing so quickly.
‘My body must be really tired.’
As the Emperor entertained such idle thoughts and finished eating the remaining chicken with much delectation, he took out the mint chocolate he bought for dessert.
He smiled as soon as he took a light bite.
“Mmm… delicious.”
Naturally, Ersha took a piece, and her face stiffened.
“…”
“Why? Isn’t it good?”
“I will respect your taste, Your Majesty.”
Ersha showed no further interest in the mint chocolate.
Strangely, the Emperor could eat the chocolate in its entirety.
The next day.
The Emperor started his routine as usual until the designated time arrived.
Today was the decisive day. The start of the auction!
It was time to pour in the prepared money.
‘Reasonably… I’ll start with 500,000 gold.’
An auction is a battle of wits and capital!
Having participated in countless auctions, he wore a confident smile.
The experience of the Empire running the auction house wouldn’t go to waste.
Therefore, he didn’t think there was any possibility of failing in this bid.
The Emperor checked the price of the item.
He entered 500,000 gold, but a message indicating the bid failed appeared.
Why…?
Rubbing his eyes, he checked the updated price.
[Golden Fried Chicken Sales Rights]
─Bid Price: 1,000,000 Gold
“1,000,000 gold?”
What kind of crazy person would start with 1,000,000 gold?
Who in the world spends that much money without hesitation?
In this case, even testing the waters was absolutely impossible!
The answer to this question was surprisingly not far.
Where did Viscount Whisen, suspiciously wealthy, usually spend his money?
Where did all the money spent on the Myo tribe & Ho tribe massage parlors go?
The Myo tribe, who lightly started the bid at 1,000,000 gold, nefariously smirked.
“I’ll kill them all, nyan.”