I Became the Drug-Addicted Childhood Friend

Translator: Elisia

Editor/Proofreader: SemiPickle

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But why were you holding a kitchen knife?

Get a grip.

This isn’t good.

Why were you holding the kitchen knife?

Were you planning to stab someone?

Si-Hoo?

Or that white-haired girl?

Hmm.

Cooking.

You were cooking, after all.

But the cooking ended hours ago, and there was nothing left to cut with a knife.

What was the reason for holding the knife?

You need to pull yourself together.

What’s wrong with you?

Is it because you haven’t been sleeping?

Yeah, that must be it.

I didn’t sleep because I didn’t want Si-Hoo to sneak out again while I was asleep.

Could it be that I’m unwell?

I looked in the mirror.

I don’t look sick.

I’ve been taking the medicine Si-Hoo gave me regularly.

There’s really nothing wrong.

I see the necklace.

Si-Hoo gave it to me as a gift.

“This kind of thing…”

To be honest, I don’t care about it.

I’ve never been particularly interested in necklaces.

I don’t even like dressing up.

“I don’t need it.”

I’d rather just be with him than receive gifts.

Si-Hoo told me to keep wearing it.

But now I don’t want to.

It just feels suffocating.

How do you even take this necklace off?

Click.

As I was debating, I heard the doorknob turn.

Si-Hoo came back.

He’s early.

I went to the entrance to greet him.

“You’re back?”

It’s still so early.

It’s been less than 30 minutes since he left.

That woman must’ve told him.

Told him she met me.

I thought she would.

Does that make you feel guilty?

“…Seo-Ah, about yesterday…”

“Yeah.”

Explain.

“……”

“Yeah?”

Is it hard to talk about?

He seems to be struggling to explain.

He looks like he’s wondering where to start.

“So…”

If it’s like this, I’ll have to start.

I didn’t want to interrogate him like this.

“What’s your relationship with her?”

What kind of relationship?

No answer.

So, I kept asking all the questions I’d been curious about.

“You said she’s a colleague—what kind of colleague?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What were you doing yesterday that made you come home late?”

“Was it because of me again?”

“What kind of injection was it? Why won’t you tell me?”

He can’t answer.

Why not?

Is it something you have to think so hard about?

“Ugh, I don’t need this stupid necklace—”

Why don’t you give it to her instead?

As I tried to take the necklace off, Si-Hoo grabbed my arm.

“You can’t.”

“…What?”

“Don’t take it off.”

Why?

He’s reacting to the strangest thing.

Isn’t it my choice whether I take it off or not?

“I don’t want to wear it. I’m taking it off.”

“Listen to me.”

“This thing is suffocating. You gave it to me as a gift, right? That makes it mine, doesn’t it? I can do whatever I want with it.”

Did I say something wrong?

Telling me not to take it off without any explanation is a problem.

“No, keep wearing it.”

“Huh?”

I don’t get it.

Why is he so commanding about something so strange?

Being told not to makes me want to do it even more.

As I tried to take the necklace off, Si-Hoo grabbed both of my arms.

“I said don’t.”

“Ugh.”

His eyes look strange.

Si-Hoo seems desperate.

“I’m doing this for you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Just… please.”

Is there something about this necklace?

Why does he look so anxious?

Would something happen if I took it off?

I don’t understand.

If he’s going this far, I can’t take it off.

Then I’ll make a proposal.

“Then, will you stay with me? I won’t take off the necklace.”

“……”

“Well? How about it?”

Is it that important for me to keep wearing the necklace?

I don’t get any of this.

But if it means Si-Hoo will stay with me, then fine.

“…Alright.”

Si-Hoo finally answered.

He’ll stay with me.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I won’t ask anything anymore. Let’s just pretend it never happened.”

Isn’t that good?

Yeah?

I think it’s good too!

But Si-Hoo’s expression doesn’t look happy.

Does he really hate being with me that much?

“Si-Hoo?”

“……”

He silently takes something out.

“Si-Hoo…?”

Si-Hoo is holding a syringe.

Why?

Where did he get that?

“Si-Hoo?”

Feeling a sense of dread, I took a step back, trying to distance myself from him.

But he grabbed my arm.

“Si-Hoo…?”

Something is wrong.

He’s planning to use that syringe on me.

It looks like it was prepared in advance.

“What… What are you trying to do? Huh?”

He’s trying to inject me.

I don’t know what it is, but I feel like I shouldn’t take it.

But Si-Hoo wouldn’t do anything bad to me.

He doesn’t let go of my arm.

He seems conflicted, hesitating whether to use the syringe.

“I… I’m just, it’s because you won’t tell me anything, and I, I’m worried about you.”

Did he find out I was holding the kitchen knife?

Did he notice that something’s wrong with me?

I’ve been acting weird lately.

So?

“Ah, uh, well…”

Si-Hoo is trying to do something for me.

Then this must be for my sake too.

Even if I don’t know what kind of injection it is, it must be something good for me.

If it’s not, if it’s something that will harm me, if it’s because he hates me…

Then I might as well die.

“Okay, fine. Do whatever you want. Are you not going to tell me what the injection is?”

“This is…”

“Did you do this because you started to hate me?”

“Never.”

I had no choice but to trust that Si-Hoo was telling the truth and that he was doing this for my sake.

The opposite scenario wasn’t even worth considering.

“Then can’t you tell me something, anything? I’m scared.”

“Ugh…”

Si-Hoo hesitated.

“…It’s a drug that erases memories.”

“What? Memories?”

“Yeah.”

He’s planning to use that on me now?

Why?

Telling me this, knowing I’ll forget everything—including that I was injected with a memory-erasing drug?

“…Why? Why memories?”

Why would my memories need to be erased?

Wait, then was all the strangeness in my memories because of this drug?

So my guess about memory loss was right.

“What happened? How many times have you used this on me?”

I was terrified.

What in the world had happened?

“S-Seo-Ah… Could it be that this is because I saw that white-haired girl? You’re doing this to make me forget?”

I was horrified.

This wasn’t like him.

The memories that had been erased were undoubtedly important ones.

Si-Hoo wasn’t this kind of person.

“Is it because I kept asking? Because I wouldn’t listen?”

If this drug truly erases memories, it’s far too convenient a solution.

“…I’m sorry.”

“You… you’re not the Si-Hoo I know…”

Si-Hoo would never do this.

Something was terribly wrong.

“Even knowing just a little leads to this… I’m sorry. Just endure it until everything is resolved. It’s almost over.”

“Almost over?”

For the first time, I saw a glimmer of hope on Si-Hoo’s face.

“…There’s not much left until the happy ending.”

Happy ending.

Well, fine.

If Si-Hoo says so, then it must be.

Though I have no idea what part of this is supposed to be happy.

“It’s paradise. I’m going to create a paradise for us.”

“Si-Hoo, you…”

He’s really acting strange.

Something is wrong.

“[I’ll make it happen.]”

“……”

Memories buried deep in my subconscious began to resurface.

Something felt oddly familiar.

“I’ll succeed no matter what. I’ll save you, no matter the cost.”

Syringe.

Drugs.

Familiar combinations.

And a familiar figure came to mind.

Someone in pain.

Right.

I was in pain back then, too.

I went to get medicine.

It wasn’t the medicine I wanted.

“So, [listen to me.]”

I have to listen.

“…Okay.”

I’ll listen.

It’s not like I have a choice.

Why is that?

There’s only one person who speaks like that.

Because that person is kind.

Who?

The doctor?

But who’s the doctor?

Is Si-Hoo the doctor?

No, that’s not it…

You’re supposed to listen to the doctor.

That’s what I wanted to say.

Ah, why couldn’t I think of the word “doctor”?

But why is the doctor here?

Oh, right. The medicine.

Did they come to give me medicine?

Thud.

The syringe pierced my skin.

My memories were going to be erased just like that.

But I hadn’t paid the doctor.

Medicine is expensive.

“Why are you here?”

Let’s ask.

Why is the doctor here?

“I never called for you.”

Thanks to this, my memories started to resurface.

Though they’d soon be erased.

Think about it.

It doesn’t make sense.

There’s no way Si-Hoo would erase my memories just because something went a little wrong.

Antipsychotic drugs, delusions, hallucinations, cognitive disorders.

I remembered the words scribbled on a scrap of paper I’d found at home.

Seeing the doctor as Si-Hoo was due to my delusions and hallucinations.

So that’s what it was.

The white-haired girl, was she a hallucination too?

Probably.

She had to be.

Ah, I worried for nothing.

This isn’t Si-Hoo.

It’s the doctor.

There’s no way Si-Hoo would think, “I’ll just erase Seo-Ah because I don’t like her.”

There’s no reason he would essentially keep me locked up at home.

He wouldn’t erase my memories over and over until he was satisfied.

“Ah, where is Si-Hoo?”

Where is the real Si-Hoo?

If the person in front of me is the doctor, then where is Si-Hoo?

“……”

“Please answer…”

Could it be that I killed Si-Hoo?

When I was holding the kitchen knife earlier, was that it?

If so, then I’ve committed an unforgivable sin.

I’m sorry.

I’m so sorry, Si-Hoo.

Even if the person in front of me is the real Si-Hoo.

Even if the real Si-Hoo is using drugs on me.

If it’s true that he’s doing something strange for my sake…

It’s my fault.

It’s because of me that Si-Hoo ended up like this.

“You’re the doctor, right?”

You have to be the doctor.

How did Si-Hoo get driven to this point?

The drug is taking effect.

Strength is leaving my body.

A drug that erases memories.

How convenient.

Si-Hoo’s expression looked like that of someone who had done something utterly unforgivable.

I saw the despair of someone who could no longer control himself.

Why are you becoming as broken as me?

“Happy ending…”

That’s real, right?

There’s a way to find happiness, right?

I think we were happy once.

We were happy back then…

…What was it like back then?

Oh, right, Si-Hoo and I…

Si-Hoo and I…

We must have done something together.

Hahaha, I can’t remember.

But one thing is true—we were happy.

Even if the place we lived in wasn’t good, we were content.

But whose fault was it that happiness was shattered?

It feels like someone kicked Yoo Seo-Ah into a pit. Si-Hoo tried to grab Seo-Ah’s hand. He grabbed her hand and followed her into the pit to save her.

And now, she falls on her own, even without being pushed.

Deeper and deeper into the abyss.

It’s too late now.

It feels like no one will ever be able to escape.